• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

A man in his 20's

Status
Not open for further replies.
D

Dumbo46_

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 3, 2014
Messages
16
What goes on emotionally for a 20 year old man? what battles do you face and how do you overcome them? how can the people around you help or take the things you say and do
 
I'm not sure I completely understand your question. All 20 year old guys are different.
 
The guy I am talking about has a huge thing about wanting to be attractive to most women . It consumes him. He wants to be able to pull many girls he feels as though he should not be monogamous now, but later.
People always tell me 20 year old men have a lot to deal especially in terms of maturity and their future
 
Some 20 year old guys are incredibly emotionally immature.
Some aren't.
The best way to get your head around what's what in this regard is to meet and get to know a bunch of them.
That's probably the best way you can learn to relate.
We are all different, and though I'm certainly not 20 any more - I was different then than I am today. There are no definite rules.

Maybe try getting to know some older people too? When I was that age I gained a lot from the experience and wisdom of my older friends.
 
When I turned 20 (4 years ago) I was in a relationship for about 2 months (it was a year and a half long in total), then we split up, I moved into a flat on my own for the first time since moving out of my parents house and I grew up fast, I felt loves bitter sting for the first time and learned that friends and family are extremely precious in helping heal the wound. I also wanted to be attractive to girls but not so much to the point that it was taking over my life, I too wanted to just sleep around for a while but instead I ended up in a relationship with the first person I managed to sleep with lol (although we are no longer together).

When you are 20 I think you are still emotionally a teenager but perhaps with a less "rebellious" attitude.
 
Dumbo46_ said:
The guy I am talking about has a huge thing about wanting to be attractive to most women . It consumes him. He wants to be able to pull many girls he feels as though he should not be monogamous now, but later.
People always tell me 20 year old men have a lot to deal especially in terms of maturity and their future
Click to expand...

There are some guys who are obsessed with being attractive to females. Some just want to have sex, get as many females as possible. Some 20 year olds are super immature, others are really mature. When I met my boyfriend, I was 19 and he was 20. But he was mature then. His main goal in life wasn't "getting the females". He also cared a lot about his future, he was working two jobs and going to school full time. As with quite a few of my friends a few years ago. In fact, when I was 19/20 and had friends around that age, most of my friends weren't really about having sex but I knew quite a few who were.

Honestly, 20 year olds can go either way.

spacejunk said:
Some 20 year old guys are incredibly emotionally immature.
Some aren't.
Click to expand...

Very, very true.

spacejunk said:
Maybe try getting to know some older people too? When I was that age I gained a lot from the experience and wisdom of my older friends.
Click to expand...

As people get older, they get more mature. But that's not to say all 30 year olds are more mature than 20 year olds. Some people in general are simply immature. And others are extremely mature. Like, I'm 23 and I know I'm more mature than some 27, 28 year olds. It happens. But I have found that people hang around others who are as mature as they are. So I'm 23 but I don't hang out with only 23 year olds. My friends vary in ages - from 21 to 35 really (mostly around 30 though).
But yeah, just get to know different people, specifically older people if you're looking for more mature people.

One Thousand Words said:
You don't know what it's like being male, middle class and white :(
Click to expand...

Where does being white come into play? I'm curious why that is important?
I have great experience being middle class. I used to be 20. But you're right, I'm not male. But that doesn't mean I don't KNOW males. lol
 
When I was 20 I was reading the game by Neil Strauss. I played the field a while. Had a bit of sex, got into relationships that didn't last. 4 years on I'm still confused to how much of the world ( and people) works.

All i know for sure right now at this present moment in my life is that I know what I want to do with it. Now that I have a good focus I feel I have more of a place with myself and the world.

Life moves on, we take things in our stride. Make mistakes, learn from them, ponder until you reach a critical epiphany. Everything is there to be experianced and understood.
Getting with girls is a small area to conquer when we live at an age where we can do and experiance almost anything with our lives. But, we meet a beautiful girl and all thoughts vanish from obscurity. We're all doomed ;).
 
well in 3 years since being 20 i've balanced out a lot in terms of confidence, being less selfish/assholish, happier with my self as i am, better at managing money, etc
hope that helps
 
One Thousand Words said:
Are you talking about being groomed?
Click to expand...
No, I'm not.

treezy z said:
what exactly is wrong with this? the "as many girls" thing is a bit of an ego-trip but i don't see how monogamy benefits a male in his 20s. (i'm a male in my 20s BTW)
Click to expand...
You might not, but some guys in their 20s may get a lot out of having a committed connection at that (or any) age.
Doesn't need to be an unrealistic life-long attachment.
We all have different emotional needs, especially in our youth.
 
some PEOPLE (think women and men) are players and want to bang everything going. some people want to get married and be with one person in a monogamous relationship.

everyone is different. the question reads like an article from cosmopolitan- if you want help with a specific guy thats fine but a man who sleeps with everyone in his twenties isn't magically faithful later. people change but it takes huge effort on their part and even then they still retain some aspects of their younger self.

i dont buy into bullshit category based behaviour. its narrow and kinda stupid- generalisations often hold some weight but you cannot use them to predict one individuals behaviour

you're skirting around the issues after starting lots of threads previously OP

people told you this guy is behaving like an asshole/you could do better, but if you dont want to take it on board that is your choice...

One Thousand Words said:
You don't know what it's like being male, middle class and white :(
Click to expand...

are you serious? its hard to tell when you're taking the piss or not. i mean it sounds like a joke...
 
Last edited:
Of course its a joke. Being a white male is awesome. If you are a 20 yr old male you really don't have much to complain about and could probably do with some perspective.

Plus it is a lyric from a Ben Fold's song
 
One Thousand Words said:
Of course its a joke. Being a white male is awesome. If you are a 20 yr old male you really don't have much to complain about and could probably do with some perspective.

Plus it is a lyric from a Ben Fold's song
Click to expand...

How were we supposed to know it was a joke? Also, many of us did not know you were quoting lyrics. Some context, if you'r posting racist and sexist comments, is nice.

There are also some white 20 year olds in bad situations.... everyone is different.
 
If you are taking the opening post seriously then the equipment in your panties or the colour of your skin is the least of your worries.

Sure some 20 yr old white male might have problems, but reality is their life is a hell of a lot easier from the get go. They are usually paid more, they don't suffer from racial profiling and generally have a longer life span. Sometimes their mum won't loan them her car but the universe is a cruel mistress sometimes.
 
Last edited:
No need to be racist and sexist.

Of course I'm going to try and help out the OP. That's what we do here in SLR.

Why do you continue talking about race anyway? No one mentioned race except YOU. Why is it a big deal???

Like I've said before, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. The 20 year old white homeless guy begging for money because his parents abandoned him is not very easy. Bad things happen to people of any colour, race, etc. And saying something petty like "their mom won't loan them a car" is extremely immature. People of all colours can have all sorts of problems.
 
How is it either racist or sexist? I used a lyric from a well known tune as sarcasm. Running with this I simply stated it is a hell of a lot easier being a white middle class male than any other demographic on the planet. I'm not saying young white males are better, simply stating they are prejudiced against the least.

I'm sure sad sack Eeyore has things a little easier than poor Afghani 20 yr old Abeer. A 20 yr old white homeless kid has far greater chance of turning things around than a 40 yr old Black woman.

Everybody is different? Next you'll be telling me that every vote counts the same
 
One Thousand Words said:
generally have a longer life span.
Click to expand...

oh yeah? white men live longer than white women?

cos i'm pretty sure testosterone kills you younger no matter what race you are...

age and gender don't represent the different problems i face compared to my housemates all of whom are in our 20's and are male. this thread is not really of use because everyone is different and faces different obstacles and the original question is simply a recipe for a series of unhelpful generalisations

closed
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top