Talking to My Parents About My Drug Problem

[smokesochi]

I want to come clean to my parents about my amphetamine usage.

I’m addicted to Adderall. The thing that made me interested in Adderall in the first place was just the fact that I could get high without my parents smelling it, because I love weed.

I’m not addicted to weed, it’s an awesome plant and I enjoy smoking it recreationally, but I’m definitely not addicted. The thing was, I could only ever smoke it way late at night or else they would smell it. Another fun fact, my mom smoked pot pretty regularly in college so she knows exactly what it smells like.

So a friend of mine, actually she was my best friend and we are no longer friends (at all), bought some and shared it with me on our senior class trip to Disney. I had expressed an interest in trying it, and then she bought some from her friend. So we each took a pill on the plane and I remember my head feeling so full of air, my body felt like a motor was running it and I needed to be doing things, and my mouth was cotton. So it was awesome because it was like smoking pot, except I had a head high and I wanted to do things. Pot always makes me want to curl up and nap. But the thing that I really, really, really liked was that my appetite was GONE. And I mean gone, I almost felt sick at the thought of food.

Now, this is my major issue. I’ve been struggling with my weight for a few years now. I used to be this tall, thin, muscular girl. I wore a size 4 in pants and a small in tops. Then I blew up like a blimp (over the course of 5 years), and turned into a size 16 and an extra-large in tops. My self-esteem was gone and I hated myself. I was constantly trying diets such as South Beach and I could never stick to it. Instead, I would sit there and stuff my face with food even though I was so full I felt sick. I’m pretty sure I have binge-eating disorder. But Adderall solved all of that. I knew that I could lose weight with it, and the fact that I have no self-control over food didn’t matter because I would never be hungry or have cravings.

So I’ve been taking Adderall for the past almost 3 months. I’ve lost 20 pounds and I felt amazing. Everyone told me I was looking great and to keep up the good work and I went down to a size 10 and mediums in tops. But my dealer told me he wasn’t selling anymore. Also $120 a bottle for 30mg XR isn’t exactly in my price range considering I don’t have many hours at work and I need to pay for college books.

On Friday my dad found an empty prescription bottle in my car. He came inside and sat down on the sofa across from me. He showed me the bottle which was in his hand and asked me what it was, then looked at the label (which had the information of the person I bought it from scratched off), and he said, "Adderall. Well why do you have this?" And I lied. I told him I had bought 4 pills to help me out with my final exams. I couldn’t tell him I’d been buying it by the bottle for the past 3 months. I said I fucked up my third quarter and I wanted to make sure I ended the school year (and high school in general…I just graduated) on a strong note. He said he was disappointed in me and that if I felt that I needed something like that as a study aid or whatever, I should have talked to my mom because she's a registered nurse. Then my mom walked in the house and my dad hid the bottle in his hand and walked to the trash and buried it deep under everything. My parents went away for the weekend and they’re coming home later today.

I want to sit down and talk to them about my addiction to Adderall. My addiction may not be that severe currently, but it’s definitely an addiction and it’s only going to get worse especially with college just around the corner. But I’m also scared that they’ll search my shit, lose all trust in me, crack down and not let me out of the house, or even take away my car or phone.

Does anyone have any advice or maybe an experience like this one?
Everything is appreciated. Thanks so much guys.

 

[herbavore]

I'm going to give you advice from a parent's perspective because I am a mom. Perhaps you could approach it like this: tell them that it is scary for you to talk to them and so to please let you say everything you need to say before they react. Tell them that you want their help but you do not want to lose your privacy or freedom. You are coming to them openly and you will continue to as long as there is communication and mutual respect. Tell them that you understand how it will scare them, too, but that if everyone can remain calm it will be much easier to work together to get this under control.

Adderall is going to be very easy to get once you are at school and you are really smart to try to tackle this now. I admire what you want to do and I have total faith that you can put this in your past and still maintain a healthy weight with new habits.

 

[legalizeall]

Dont tell them. Your gonna regret it later. Trust me. All its gonna do is shine a huge spotlight on you even when your clean. They are uneducated on the topic so all their gonna be doing is waiting for the worst cause thats how media portrays people that use any kind of drug. Blood sucking vampires that are raping and burning cities to the ground.

If you wanna quit, thats fine but try and do it yourself first. Cause even if they know, it has to come from you. So why not have no attention on yourself instead of all of it on you.

I know what your feeling. Gulity about it all and you just want to get it off your chest. But all its gonna do is make them worry more about you. Its unproductive. Parents are extremely irrational when it comes to this cause they just want to hurry up and fix it which creates more issues.

So dont tell them. Trust me. You will regret it later if you do.

 

[jesse1988]

Dont tell them. Your gonna regret it later. Trust me. All its gonna do is shine a huge spotlight on you even when your clean. They are uneducated on the topic so all their gonna be doing is waiting for the worst cause thats how media portrays people that use any kind of drug. Blood sucking vampires that are raping and burning cities to the ground.

If you wanna quit, thats fine but try and do it yourself first. Cause even if they know, it has to come from you. So why not have no attention on yourself instead of all of it on you.

I know what your feeling. Gulity about it all and you just want to get it off your chest. But all its gonna do is make them worry more about you. Its unproductive. Parents are extremely irrational when it comes to this cause they just want to hurry up and fix it which creates more issues.

So dont tell them. Trust me. You will regret it later if you do.

listen to this guy, he is right
just accept you are on your own, no one can help you
The only one who can make a different is you.
more people know=more trouble


if you let them know, you will be force to proof you are not using, EVERYDAY.

 

[_DankOpiAmp_]

School will be easier if your parents are not making it a living hell by spying on you and restricting your behaviour. You are not in real danger at the moment and may very well be able to deal with the problem yourself. Telling them is a last resort. You won't have horrendous withdrawals from Adderall if you can't get it anyway. In a perfect world it would be nice to inform your parents but it is probably not wise at this point.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

My parents have known pretty much about the full extent of my drug use from a young age, it has definitely helped me in my struggle with them.

I would have to say that I totally disagree with the people who are pushing the 'more people=more trouble' agenda. Of course it depends on your parents but when it comes down to it for most people...'more people=more sources of support' in my opinion.

The more you hide away and isolate the easier it is for a drug to get it's teeth in to you. Having people who you can confide in and reach out to as sources of support will only ever be a good thing. I guess it's down to you to judge whether they will be a source of support or whether they will be a source of hassle. For most people their parents will be a source of support though.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

just accept you are on your own, no one can help you
The only one who can make a different is you.

if you let them know, you will be force to proof you are not using, EVERYDAY.

This for example, is in my opinion pure bullshit. How can they possibly know your parents will force you to prove you are not using everyday? Everyone's situation is different.

The notion that you are on your own and that the only person who can help you is, in my opinion, pure bullshit again. The driving force for wanting to be clean has to come from you but having people around you to help and support you whether it be emotionally, financially or whatever is one of the most important things in recovering from drug addiction. The more people you can get on your side and helping you the less chance there is of relapsing if you hit a wobbly period. Having people you can be totally honest with and who will help you be strong when you feel weak is really important.

 

[jesse1988]

This for example, is in my opinion pure bullshit. How can they possibly know your parents will force you to prove you are not using everyday? Everyone's situation is different.

The notion that you are on your own and that the only person who can help you is, in my opinion, pure bullshit again. The driving force for wanting to be clean has to come from you but having people around you to help and support you whether it be emotionally, financially or whatever is one of the most important things in recovering from drug addiction. The more people you can get on your side and helping you the less chance there is of relapsing if you hit a wobbly period. Having people you can be totally honest with and who will help you be strong when you feel weak is really important.

do you ever been through this situation
when I said force you to proof, I didn't mean literally, I mean when you told people around you what is going on,
You are leading them to paranoia

when you get tired, they wonder,
when you come home late, they wonder,
when you oversleep, they wonder,
when you didn't eat in front of them, they wonder,
when you get sick, they wonder,
Then here comes the fun part, one day, a random day, when you go to bathroom for 30 mins for whatever reason, and they wonder what are you doing inside, the next thing you know would be you parents bust down the door just to see are you sticking a needle in your arm

eventually, your every move, every decision, everything you say, become a testimony.
you just get yourself one more thing to worry about, one more thing for you to deal with while you fighting the addiction

my opinion, don't tell, no matter what
if you tell them, things will change, forever,
and there is nothing you can do to turn things back to where it start
There is no coming back from this,
so, make you choice wisely


Think about this, then throw me my "bullshit" theory

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Do you know the OP's parents?

If not, you can't possibly give a definitive answer as to how they will react. Therefore, you saying they will check everyday is bullshit. You have no idea how they will react.

There are no definites in a situation like this, it's the old 'the only thing that's for sure is that nothing is for sure' reasoning.

Even if you did know them you can't say how they will react, so to come out with a definitive statement saying they will do a certain something makes no sense. Sure, they might react like that.....but there's a thousand other ways they might react.

 

[herbavore]

It really does depend on the relationship you have with your parents as well as the relationship you want to have with them in the future. It also depends on how reactionary the OP's parents are. My kids were always up-front with me about their drug use. Sometimes I reacted out of fear and ignorance initially but I always came around by asking myself this: do I want a relationship of trust? The answer was a resounding yes. My brother credits the love and understanding and support of my own parents in overcoming a 20 year coke/crack addiction. Again, it all depends on your family and the level of courage and honesty you all want for your lives together. Things like this can make you closer in the long run.

I wrote my first answer before going to bed last night and woke up thinking about you and your situation OP. One thing I wanted to add is that you may not be addicted to Adderall and it may be helpful not to even use that word--either in your own head or with your parents. You may be dependent on it for psychological reasons and that is different. You have found something that makes it easier to lose and maintain a lower weight as well as easier to find motivation and energy for studying. Your challenge--and it is a challenge for all of us--is to develop ways to achieve those goals without a stimulant.

 

[jesse1988]

Then can I use your logic on your theory?
Exactly we don't know how they react,
then why am I wrong?
Am I wrong? Or is it everything I said or going to say is wrong, Because word come out from my mouth,
someone don't agree with your utopia fantasy?

I didn't say this is exactly how they will react, I said this is the outcome worst then he deal with his addiction, alone. since you said it is highly unlikely, why don't ask someone else about which kind of parent is the larger group

is there really some parent just take your word for it? At all?

Wake up and face the reality, accept the brutal existence.

 

[bunnymunro]

Be honest about what you are doing, possibly even show them this thread. They will have been observers to your body size issues and the problems you are or have been experiencing. One thing that children (I am saying this as a parent, not calling the OP a kid) tend to not realise, is that parents usually know their kids almost as well, if not better than the kids know themselves. IE, they probably are able to empathise with your feelings about getting larger and how it would affect your self esteem.
If they know you, they will have probably picked the chance that you have an addictive personality, or other personality traits that you may not even have considered yet. Let's face it, you area product of their genes and the environment that you were raised in. So no surprises from their quarter.
Do you think your Dad believed you when he threw the prescription bottle in the bin? Why did he hide it? He could have told your Ma, "I was concerned about these, but now I have am satisfied that or child is ok." Or it seems that he has taken the attitude of that cop on South Park "nothing to see here, please move along"
Sometime down the track, you may need their support, and if dependence is going to be an issue, it may be better that they are willing to assist, and that does take trust and honesty. That said, you don't need to create an issue when there is none, or have them react or overreact to what may just be a case of better living through the aid of pharmaceuticals.
So, I guess it does depend on their reactions and how well informed they are, and also of your personality/strength/weaknesses, but at the end of the day, you want them on your side,and not working against you and as long as they are are not grain-fed media believing drones, your honesty is probably what will work for you.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Then can I use your logic on your theory?
Exactly we don't know how they react,
then why am I wrong?
Am I wrong? Or is it everything I said or going to say is wrong, Because word come out from my mouth,
someone don't agree with your utopia fantasy?

I didn't say this is exactly how they will react, I said this is the outcome worst then he deal with his addiction, alone.
since you said my theory is highly unlikely, why don't ask someone else about which kind of parent is the larger group

is there really some parent just take your word for it? At all?

Wake up and face the reality, accept the brutal existence.

....because you made a definitive statement saying they would react in a certain way. If you had suggested it as being a possibility rather than giving a definitive statement I wouldn't have called bullshit.

I would however have still suggested that getting support from parents is a wise thing to do unles you are absolutely sure they will make the situation worse.

I don't know how other people's parents will react, and accept that some will react in the way you describe which is why I shy away from making any definitive statements in response to a question like this. I just try to give my opinion or experience but keep things open and not say anything will happen for sure.

For most people getting support from every available avenue will be beneficial from what I have seen though.

edit: Just to really clarify....I was calling bullshit on the way you presented that possible outcome as a definite rather than calling bullshit on it being a possibility.

 

[mastersofine]

Honestly, quitting adderall should be hella easy. If your worried about actual withdrawal your wasting your time. You might feel tired and out of it for a few days but nothing crazy. If you want to tell your parents about it because you feel guilty thats a whole different ballgame. Personally, I would quit for a few days and see how you feel if for some reason you should need their help or still feel guilty then tell them. Otherwise just stop taking adderall and let it work itself out.

 

[motiv311]

I wouldn't tell them yet, you don't seem addicted and you'll get them worried, decide that you really want to stop and try it on your own first. This is coming from a guy who got/is addicted to adderall, so i know how hard it is.

 

[MakaveliTheDon]

Bro, i got adopted to neocon conservative parents, they drank alcohol and thought psychedelics make you jump off buildings. when i told them i smoked pot because it made me feel better, and explained to them how they have been fed disinformation and all that other shit in their lives, they have been fine with it. hell, i have talked to them about all of my drug usage openly since then. your parents sound pretty accepting compared to mine or others, i suggest hiding whatever you have left first, then spill it all to them. explain how weed benefits you, and how you have had to use addy as an alternative because of your fear of not being accepted. surely as a nurse your mom would understand that weed is better for you than speed.

 

[herbavore]

Note to everyone in the thread: we are havinga discussion and voicing our opinions. If you find yourself taking things personally then sit back and take a big breath and remind yourself that nothing is (personal). and

 

[legalizeall]

This for example, is in my opinion pure bullshit. How can they possibly know your parents will force you to prove you are not using everyday? Everyone's situation is different.

The notion that you are on your own and that the only person who can help you is, in my opinion, pure bullshit again. The driving force for wanting to be clean has to come from you but having people around you to help and support you whether it be emotionally, financially or whatever is one of the most important things in recovering from drug addiction. The more people you can get on your side and helping you the less chance there is of relapsing if you hit a wobbly period. Having people you can be totally honest with and who will help you be strong when you feel weak is really important.

Sure in a perfect world but lets be honest, most parents esp ones that arent in recovery have no idea how to "support" and what happens is panic and irrational decisions are made thinking that its good for the kid. They dont know how to emotionally support. You can find people that can support that dont have to be parents. Ive seen way to many negative things happen when someone decides to tell there parents then positive.

I also said try to get clean first. If she cant then maybe telling someone would be good but last resort is parents. Your under a magifiying glass that will never go away. And with all the sitgmas and stereotypes of drug users today, the more people that know is really a dumb thing to go with.

Bottom line, they dont know how to support and they cause more damage trying. The parents become just as sick as the addict cause their spinning their wheels trying to figure out how to fix it when you cant fix it. Relationships are damaged too cause there is this underlying tension that no one wants to address.

 

[legalizeall]

Noted and my posts are seeing things from experience, not just a theory or guess which i think holds more weight. You have to look at certain things that influence people. A big thing is if the parents are in recovery or if they dont know anything on the topic.

You have to analyze the situation and ask yourself, is telling my parents about this gonna cause more harm then good. Is this something i can deal with and get through on my own. Believe it or not some people can get thru something like drug use on their own.

So then you have to look at where they get the information on drug users. Most likely thats gonna be the tv. How many times have I heard the typical mother small talk about drugs and its almost laughable because it is so inaccurate. Inaccurate is putting it lightly but their they are talking about it like they know about it just cause they saw some blip on the tv about a naked dude running up and down the street with a knife. These same people think rehab is some kind of cure-all and they will never use again cause they went to rehab. So lets ship them out and have them cured. I knew a kid that came clean and next thing he knows he is flying to utah to some mormon camp for 6 months. WHen he returned he was worse then when he left.

They dont know what their talking about and the information they have is totally false and harmful. I doubt your typical mother is here on bluelight cruising around. Im sure they are here but even still when its your child, its different.

In they are in recovery it could be a different story. But still even with that you have irrational decisions made cause parents just want to fix the problem. My parents are in recovery and still i was watched like a hawk whenever i came out of rehab. Thank god i lived on my own whenever that took place cause i wouldnt be able to handle it if i lived with them.

So you have to weigh the pros and cons to which cons seem to win by a landslide when telling the parents with very little pros other than just getting rid of some of the guilt by telling them. As humans thats a way for us to feel better about our situation. Telling someone about it and while at first its a relief, dealing with the irrational fallout after that is worse.

But one things is for certain like jesse 1988 said, everytime you fart or whenever you say your day wasnt just a fantastic day to be alive, your gonna be scrutinized and be watched cause like the media portrays us, drug users are just a hair away all the time from going off the deep end and becoming that naked man running up and down the street with a knife.

So dont tell them

 

[jesse1988]

If you tell them, be prepare for the 24/7 spying, and the lost of trust.
just think about when you ask your parent 10 bucks for gas, you can read them from their face,
like "is this really for gas?"

and this is not something that would pass,
addiction is something you could fix,
this, you can't .