frankmilton
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2014
- Messages
- 40
hey i tried a couple tabs, alone, today and it was the most frightening yet an eye opening experience i have ever had in my life. I suppose i had what most people call a bad trip. I have come to understand and accept how weak, shallow, and hollow i am and that most of my anger came from me but no one else. Everything i considered valuable in life felt meaningless. They were literally a reflection of my pride. I realized i was nothing but a body held together by pride, selfish-ness, and some bone structure. The boundaries between individuals seemed meaningless because WE are living in this world together, not I am. I learned how important it was to depend and be depended by other people. Otherwise, the world can be a very lonely place to live in. I felt depressed and very anxious. The anxiety came straight from my guts and the more i thought about it, the worst it got. At one point, i got really scared so i flushed rest of the tabs down the toilet. However, I do not regret of my actions. Ha.. What a fool i was. I learned more about myself in a few hours than my entire life. Oh, and time seemed pretty meaningless, too, as if time can't be measured by numbers, but only be experienced. I always thought i was comfortable being alone, but in fact, i have been pusing people away. I couldnt feel more alone than ever that i hoped for someone to be there and say "it's okay" to me. Strangely, I feel alot more peaceful than I ever was.