Completely right. I don't even enjoy most stims personally, always been more of an opiate head aside from about 6 months around 2010 or 2011 in which I was a very heavy user of IV mephedrone, methylone, and some of their friends. The cathinone craze was unbelievable in this town in missouri, you could pick up yer shit at porn shops, gas stations, head shops, your friendly neighborhood dealer, anywhere. I've often wondered if other towns were hit this severely. Anyway, I digress.
My first few exposures to mpdv were on accident, in being sold a product that was assured to be 4MMC. I don't think they were ever pure peev, or even just peev, but it's hard to mistake the effects. Doing one 4MMC sized shot of this peevish stuff, however strong, was often enough to give me tunnel vision, instant hallucinations and delusions, and one dose would keep me awake 3 or 4 days desperately trying to find a way back down. I wanted that unbelievably pleasurable 4MMC rush, not to turn blue. I decided I hated the stuff.
Well, fast forward almost 4 years since then, and after two and a half years bouncing back and forth from daily black tar and suboxone regimens in an attempt to be well enough to keep my various jobs, and I've finally settled into a methadone clinic for the past 3 months. I'm going somewhere with this, I swear.
The methadone works far better than sub ever did, but I can't get high on tar when I'm on it. And naturally, I still have incredibly strong cravings. And apart from being a daily drinker, I've been reinvestigating stims. I love coke, but it's basically non existent here, and I've only had it a handful of times. Adderall is too weak for the price, meth disables me too much (hard to function and act normal) and it doesn't relax, I just end up having no idea what to do with myself and little desire to redose.
A week ago I met a friend to buy some crystal meth I knew id end up regretting, and he gave me a small , mostly yellowish but clear rock that had been sold to him as crack. Told me he had no idea what it wS and to be careful. Well, i snorted a line and it was just like the peev of old, except I had taken the right dose. It's funny, I've never been a stim head and always thought only the most hardcore tweakers could get any enjoyment out of mdpv, but I've found I absolutely love it. The spacey relaxation is completely unique to me, and while it does scatter my thoughts somewhat I feel very calm and able to pass for sane in public. I know exactly what shambles means when he talks about the zen peaceful state of mind. Everything is empty and still, and the visual effects are really interesting. Everything seems dark and somewhat blurred, yet crisp at the same time.
The compulsion to redose is my least favorite component, and I usually end up doing more than I told myself I would and staying up hours later than I wanted to because of that last hit. However, aside from one all nighter, I have made myself sleep each night I've done it, even while having more in my possession. It worries me that I've done it every day, but it seems to be the perfect compliment to my methadone and alcohol habit.
On that note, I can't do the stuff without the methadone and at least a little bit of alcohol, though preferably a 40oz every 3 or 4 hours. Without these the hard edgy tweakiness makes the experience un enjoyable for me, though alcohol is a must for me with most stimulants.
Quite a ramble here, guess it's obvious I'm smoking peev. I've been reading these megathreads a shit ton the past few days and thinking of things I wanted to say, but only just now got around to posting. I completely thought I needed obvious euphoria from any substance for me to like it, but I find the pv headspace to be euphoric in its own way.
EDIT:Good lord, I didn't even address the quote. I wanted to say that I found the negative side effects have gotten much less noticeable over the past week, although I still do need to be drinking alcohol to enjoy pv. This is the case for me with most any stimulant though. Are there any other peevers awake out there right now? I need someone to compare very, very, VERY detailed notes with...