Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
I've ALWAYS been emotional. I trued taking codeine to STOP it. I tried taking lots of caffeine including Pro Plus around 10 years ago, just made me shaky and worse.
As a child, teenager, young adult I'd just burst into tears over the slightest things. I HATED it and didn't want to but I would. People would think I was doing it on purpose but I wasn't. And I'd get obsessed with stuff over and over again. It's a fucking curse that I've begged God over and over again to release me from.
For example, the other day when I was arguing with you all on EADD... I got obsessed, couldn't sleep all night, couldn't focus on anything the next day but sorting it out. I even missed my recovery meeting because my phone had died and I HAD TO COME HOME TO SORT THIS....
Today I felt calm and could focus on other stuff because I had sorted things so wasn't obsessing over Bluelight.
It's a fucking bastard curse I don't know why I can't be normal and just have normal interests. I don't have interests. I have obsessions.. And if I'm not obsessed with something, I feel empty and complete dead inside. It's like every minute is an hour and the days are like eternity. But if I'm obsessed with something and my mind focuses on it, all is ok.
Codeine made me normal... Codeine took all that away!!!!
Bet you're sorry you asked now eh LOL.
What receptors / neurotransmitters does phenazepam affect? Citalopram has helped a bit but I guess I shouldn't have started drinking again because it affects it.
hahaha Sammy that's funny... Nah I've a cat which is better... Doesn't want my attention 24/7.
Evey
As a child, teenager, young adult I'd just burst into tears over the slightest things. I HATED it and didn't want to but I would. People would think I was doing it on purpose but I wasn't. And I'd get obsessed with stuff over and over again. It's a fucking curse that I've begged God over and over again to release me from.
For example, the other day when I was arguing with you all on EADD... I got obsessed, couldn't sleep all night, couldn't focus on anything the next day but sorting it out. I even missed my recovery meeting because my phone had died and I HAD TO COME HOME TO SORT THIS....
Today I felt calm and could focus on other stuff because I had sorted things so wasn't obsessing over Bluelight.
It's a fucking bastard curse I don't know why I can't be normal and just have normal interests. I don't have interests. I have obsessions.. And if I'm not obsessed with something, I feel empty and complete dead inside. It's like every minute is an hour and the days are like eternity. But if I'm obsessed with something and my mind focuses on it, all is ok.
Codeine made me normal... Codeine took all that away!!!!
Bet you're sorry you asked now eh LOL.
What receptors / neurotransmitters does phenazepam affect? Citalopram has helped a bit but I guess I shouldn't have started drinking again because it affects it.
NSFW:![]()
hahaha Sammy that's funny... Nah I've a cat which is better... Doesn't want my attention 24/7.
Evey