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How to get more affection from girlfriend? Start withholding it from her?

MadCity

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 19, 2013
Messages
22
Location
Badger Country (Wisconsin)
So here's the scoop. Both 29 year old. Straight. Live apart. Together a year. Great chemistry, better than average relationship in general.

I (the male) tend to be more affectionate than the average guy I guess, but I also tend to crave affection more than most I'd say.
I'm just generally kind and thoughtful, and that carries over in to the relationship in way of me doing a lot of sweet/kind/nice/thoughtful things for her.
She's very nice, as well, but I would definitely desire for her to be a little more affectionate so I can feel desired or loved or whatever.

I started thinking perhaps I do too much nice shit to the point that maybe she feels too secure in the relationship.
Of course, I want her to feel secure with "us", but at the same time maybe it's beneficial to withdraw a little bit???
I hate the idea of playing dumb fucking games with her, but am I perhaps making a mistake being so sweet all the time?
Not wearing the pants enough or whatever the hell it's called?

I'll try to report in as often as possible, but I'd like to hear tips, advice, or opinions if you have some.
Thanks.
 
Don't play any games of any kind, sit her down and have a mature and respectful conversation about it.

Both parties in a relationship have a right to be happy, don't stress this out as a "wearing the pants" thing. Who knows, she may even be "holding back" because she doesn't want to scare you by coming on too strongly with her affection all the time, but talking with her will get it sorted much more easily and happily than any games will.


Good luck. :)
 
Don't play any games of any kind, sit her down and have a mature and respectful conversation about it.

Both parties in a relationship have a right to be happy, don't stress this out as a "wearing the pants" thing. Who knows, she may even be "holding back" because she doesn't want to scare you by coming on too strongly with her affection all the time, but talking with her will get it sorted much more easily and happily than any games will.


Good luck. :)
Thanks...
I just fear I'll make her feel as though she's not doing a good job and get frustrated with me /us.

But yes.. I want to be as mature as possible, but still get the point across.
Some of me wants to just ignore this because in just above every other respect she is perfect. But I still would like more affection and or her coming to me for sex more often.
But I just really don't wanna make her feel shitty about it.
 
Communicate, its all you can do. Ignoring something doesn't make it go away. Over time that only builds resentment. You love her, you don't want to wake up ten years from now resenting her.
 
This is a bad sign my friend, it shows signs of a woman who can be very moody. Not good for long term. thread cautiously.


 
This is a bad sign my friend, it shows signs of a woman who can be very moody. Not good for long term. thread cautiously.



how do you work that out, based upon what?

it sounds like you want something slightly more intense than her so maybe you should take into account that everyone is different.

if someone sat me down and was like "you dont give me enough attention/affection" i would find it unsettling. how much would ever be enough? could i ever just chill with them? thats just me personally.

public affection is definitely something i wouldn't want to be pressured into giving.
 
Can you clone yourself please because most men aren't affectionate enough i.m.o

but seriously now, perhaps this 'great chemistry' as you refer to, well, sorry to say but maybe (though she's a great gal) perhaps she's a ms. right now but not the Ms.right for you and all you have to give.

If your a loving man, keep it going. I wouldn't hold back on that. It might make you bitter one day. Spread the love man!
 
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