Please move to a proper forum I could not get it to post and Other Drugs...or even the dark side if you would like it there
I feel the need to share this story for anybody battling opiate addiction. Believe me when I tell you I have been at the upper echelon of addiction for the better part of four years and I have been abusing oxy for an entire decade.
When I say abusing I am talking nearly ungodly amounts of opiates. To the point that you just simply would not believe it if I told you how long I have been taking upwards of a thousand milligrams a day it would be unbelievable and completely unsustainable. And when I went out of town with absolutely no pills I switched right to black tar heroin and within one day I was shooting it up because my tolerance was so high that no other way was doing anything.
I'm not proud I am merely letting you know that if this way works for me it will absolutely work for you.... if you've been on opiates for 1 year 2 years 5 years 200 milligrams 400 milligrams 600mg believe me when I tell you I have taken double what you took at your worst.
First and foremost you have to understand that the physical withdrawal or what we call acute withdrawal syndrome I am unable to go through it...I am the biggest whiner, complainer, baby on planet earth and I'm in sales which means not only am I physically down, mentally I am unable to make money if I am NOT on opiates.
To go knock on somebody's door and try to convince them to buy something from me while I'm withdrawing is absolutely not doable...so I understand on a scale 1 to 10 10 being bedridden from a gunshot I am at a 9 when it comes to withdrawal. I'm not kidding...I would keep using for the rest of my life if it meant I had to go cold turkey..I won't do it...I can't do it...I simply cannot do it...it is not something I am NOT capable of doing. On top of it I would lose my job and I would lose my family I can not do withdrawal so for me to get off of these things the only way was with ZERO TO very minor withdrawal symptoms.
I read people on here that go cold turkey and they just fight through it or they try to take all these other things to help with it...those things don't work for me and going cold turkey is simply something I cannot do...I am not telling you because I'm proud I want you to understand no matter how bad your withdrawal symptoms are I promise you mine are as bad and mentally I am weaker than you! I am not as strong as 90 percent of people on this board...I am a weak little bitch so in order for me to get off of them I had to have almost no withdrawal symptoms. .you have to understand that and when it comes to opiate addiction that's simply not possible...or is it.
Enter Suboxone.
Now I have read enough on here to know that you simply start taking Suboxone for months at a time will not only completely prolong your withdrawal symptoms when you quit, but all it does its switch one addiction for another...that was not acceptable to me.
The one good thing about using suboxone for months at a time is that you break the addict cycle of getting a text message and making an impulse buy or fining an old pill and popping it...all those scenarios that our subconscious uses to set us up to fail because it needs that drug and is trying to protect itself...
However I am a firm believer that suboxone withdrawals are nine times worse than oxy withdrawals and probably about twice as bad as heroin withdrawal and certainly last about 30 times longer as well as the post acute withdrawal symptom being brutal on your mind.
The fact is when you're ready to quit you don't need to fight to break that addict cycle...that constant game we all play to get our next fix when you have mentally decided enough is enough the only thing that will send you back into it is the physical withdrawal or the impulse your mind will throw at you over and over and over again and sad to say you probably will relapse several times but you'll learn what your triggers are and you will beat it as long as you don't use the suboxone as a tool to just get you through to your next fix you can use this to get of them in a matter of days so help me, i swear it.
Again to reiterate we are talking about a 10-year addiction upwards of a thousand milligrams a day of Roxy's switching to heroin shooting it up within a matter of days developing a $40 a day heroin habit.
Luckily I quit the H about a month after I started so I didn't get too deep down that rabbit hole but believe me I was headed there and I was headed there on a freight train...
So how did I do it?
The first and most important thing is you must go into complete withdrawal you cannot try to beat that...you have to wait 24 to 48 hours usually the third day is the worst day of withdrawal for me so I force myself to go about 60 hours. The benefit of this is when you finally take your first suboxone you actually will feel relief where as if you take it too soon you will go into instant withdrawal and that sucks! however if you do do that don't panic don't start using again! you just merely have to wait about an hour before it kicks in and then your withdrawal will subside and you won't actually start feeling good until the third day.
Now, for heroin the half life is much shorter so when your shaking, sweating, and your body can't regulate its temperature, your nose is running, and you're withdrawing so bad that you need a friend to prepare your shot and shoot you up that it would be when it would be time to use suboxone. If that happens to be 10 hours after you last used then try to go 15 hours, try to sleep it off get to that next day.
If you take it too soon you will make yourself so much more miserable! instead let the withdrawal slowly come on that way when you take your first sub, you will feel relief and I'm talking relief as good as if you used your d.o.c
Now the key is to take it very slowly..for me the only thing I had access to was the 8 milligram strips.
I cut the first one in to 4ths. I took the first little one which I guess would equate to about 2 mg. My withdrawal went from about a 7 to about a 5. Not good enough. one hour later I took the second strip.
Now its to understand at this point I felt mentally down, lethargy, and some very minor lower back pain however the lower back pain is the reason why I started using so that could have been withdrawal symptoms or it could just be my chronic pain.
Its also important to note at this point there would have been no chance in hell I would have been able to go out and knock on peoples doors to sell crap to them. however for the most part I felt okay I was able to get up and clean and for me that is not something I can do on day 1, 2 or 3 of withdrawing !!!
So after 10 years of abusing upwards of a thousand milligrams a day of oxy and then switching to heroin shooting it up for about a month I was able to feel good on day 3 of withdrawing with merely 4 milligrams of Suboxone.
But I still had some back pain so 4 hours after the first for milligrams I took another 4 milligrams making my first day a total of 8 milligrams spread out over 4 to 6 hours
The next day I felt fine other than a little mental sort of dragging but I was not interested in becoming addicted to suboxone and dragging out my withdrawal symptoms so I waited until about 30 hours had passed after my last dose. I took one milligram! I cut one of my strips into fourths and then cut that one and half with nail clippers .
I took it as directed under my tongue and of course the bioavailability is next to nil so I wasn't even getting one milligram but the point is other than a little mental and sort of laziness I felt 0 withdrawal symptoms.
That is all I took on day 2. Which was day 4 of my withdrawal
On day 3 of using sub I cut one milligram completely in half so now I'm taking something about the size of a hole punch of and I forced myself to go about 10 hours and I gotta tell you I felt the symptoms come on stronger than prior so I took the exact same dosage as before about the size of a hole punch maybe even less and it took it away...that was day 3...
Day 4 I wanted to wait and see how long it would take before I need to take anything and a 4 came and went...day 5 came and went...day 6 came and went...day 7 i relapsed.
But this was not a typical relapse like I had enough of this I was still feeling very mentally strong and I had actually gone out and sold and had one of my better weeks in sales all while having absolutely nothing in my system...
The reason for this relapse was because I had been prescribed pain pills from my doctor for my chronic back pain and I'm not really interested in living sober. For me I don't need to drink I don't need to do any other drugs I feel no desire to smoke weed in fact I have never smoked weed until maybe 3 weeks ago. The only thing that ever gripped me was pills and that was because of the physical addiction that I knew nothing about when prescribed the little bastards.
So I used pills for about a week. I definitely did not take them as prescribed but I didn't go crazy either I just was kind of curious...anyway. I would strongly recommend you do NOT do this especially if you're feeling good remember the point is to get off of them if you have chronic pain well then just don't take more than you should
If you're being an addict and poppin more than you should then it ain't for your pain, it's for the addict inside of you and the high. so don't feed that addict because he will win in the end.
In fact the only reason I'm telling you about that is because I want you to understand after 10 years of abusing them and going through the worst withdrawal symptoms ever , not only was able to get off them for a week with absolutely no withdrawal symptoms, but after using again for a week I was able to stop with no withdrawal symptoms whatsoever and absolutely no suboxone!!!!
That's right after a week of nothing and then a week of using I quit again in on day 3 I was still waiting for the withdrawal to come and never felt it...
Day 4 mentally I started craving and day 5 the addict in me was raging, but my nose was not running,I had no restless leg, I had nothing.
So on day 6 sleeping on my side wrong brought some terrible back pain and so you know what I did? I took some Advil and I'll be damned if it didn't work! Now every addict when confronted by a loved one when they say "can't you just take some ibuprofen?" we all say the same thing
"it just doesn't work for me"
"its not strong enough"
"I have to take too much and its bad on my liver blah blah blah"
I had told that lie so much I actually believed it and I believed for the better part 7 years!
So just like that on day six and about 800 milligrams of ibuprofen later I'll be damned if I didn't feel good...day 7: I took a teeny tiny bit of Suboxone to see if it took away my back pain. I was curious to know if it was withdrawal symptoms or if my back really hurts well my back kept right on hurting ...four more advil later and I felt great
So that means I used a total of about 1.4 strips of 8 mg suboxone 2 IN ESSENCE quash a brutal addiction that had me down the rabbit hole.
By no means am I out of the woods and I don't even know that I want to be as I have no desire to continue to live with back pain, and I don't even know that sobriety is all it's cracked up to be... but I know life is beautiful, my children are beautiful and the fact that I am stronger than those fucking pills...with just a little bit of help...
I will never be addicted to those things like I was.
Now the only downside is I learned I can pretty much use at my heart's desire and then jump out of the cycle with one to two suboxone strips and that is a dangerous thing to learn so...please I'm begging you from one addict to another, please please please blue lighters..please with all my heart and soul do not relapse...do not use the suboxone as a tool to get you to your next high... if that's the case you sit there and you lay in your withdrawal until you can afford to go get your fix it because it will end up taking your life in the long run!
you will jump off sub just long enough to shoot up that one dose that kills you! Or to make a bad decision,or to get clipped by the cops or whatever....
Use the subs to get your body strong enough to get off of them...mentally you will have the impulses...your brain will throw impulses at you and it's your subconscious! you will dream about them and you will ejaculate in the middle of the night and you will experience things so vividly that it will hurt your heart... you will crave that high and euphoria so much that it will cripple you...
But you will not physically be going through withdrawal you don't need imodium you don't need whatever other thing that everybody says and honestly my first night was a little bit of Suboxone I was sleeping 10 hours again right back to my old ways the only thing I had was a little bit of flexoral if I needed it to help me sleep.
Tl:dr
I broke a 10 year almost a thousand milligrams a day oxy habit , and then about a month shooting up black tar heroin with 1.4 suboxone strips and you can too! I am weaker than you. You are stronger than me, you are more beautiful than me, you are more capable than me, and chances are your addiction is not anywhere near as bad as mine...so if I can do it...you can and you will. I know it...I feel it
I feel the need to share this story for anybody battling opiate addiction. Believe me when I tell you I have been at the upper echelon of addiction for the better part of four years and I have been abusing oxy for an entire decade.
When I say abusing I am talking nearly ungodly amounts of opiates. To the point that you just simply would not believe it if I told you how long I have been taking upwards of a thousand milligrams a day it would be unbelievable and completely unsustainable. And when I went out of town with absolutely no pills I switched right to black tar heroin and within one day I was shooting it up because my tolerance was so high that no other way was doing anything.
I'm not proud I am merely letting you know that if this way works for me it will absolutely work for you.... if you've been on opiates for 1 year 2 years 5 years 200 milligrams 400 milligrams 600mg believe me when I tell you I have taken double what you took at your worst.
First and foremost you have to understand that the physical withdrawal or what we call acute withdrawal syndrome I am unable to go through it...I am the biggest whiner, complainer, baby on planet earth and I'm in sales which means not only am I physically down, mentally I am unable to make money if I am NOT on opiates.
To go knock on somebody's door and try to convince them to buy something from me while I'm withdrawing is absolutely not doable...so I understand on a scale 1 to 10 10 being bedridden from a gunshot I am at a 9 when it comes to withdrawal. I'm not kidding...I would keep using for the rest of my life if it meant I had to go cold turkey..I won't do it...I can't do it...I simply cannot do it...it is not something I am NOT capable of doing. On top of it I would lose my job and I would lose my family I can not do withdrawal so for me to get off of these things the only way was with ZERO TO very minor withdrawal symptoms.
I read people on here that go cold turkey and they just fight through it or they try to take all these other things to help with it...those things don't work for me and going cold turkey is simply something I cannot do...I am not telling you because I'm proud I want you to understand no matter how bad your withdrawal symptoms are I promise you mine are as bad and mentally I am weaker than you! I am not as strong as 90 percent of people on this board...I am a weak little bitch so in order for me to get off of them I had to have almost no withdrawal symptoms. .you have to understand that and when it comes to opiate addiction that's simply not possible...or is it.
Enter Suboxone.
Now I have read enough on here to know that you simply start taking Suboxone for months at a time will not only completely prolong your withdrawal symptoms when you quit, but all it does its switch one addiction for another...that was not acceptable to me.
The one good thing about using suboxone for months at a time is that you break the addict cycle of getting a text message and making an impulse buy or fining an old pill and popping it...all those scenarios that our subconscious uses to set us up to fail because it needs that drug and is trying to protect itself...
However I am a firm believer that suboxone withdrawals are nine times worse than oxy withdrawals and probably about twice as bad as heroin withdrawal and certainly last about 30 times longer as well as the post acute withdrawal symptom being brutal on your mind.
The fact is when you're ready to quit you don't need to fight to break that addict cycle...that constant game we all play to get our next fix when you have mentally decided enough is enough the only thing that will send you back into it is the physical withdrawal or the impulse your mind will throw at you over and over and over again and sad to say you probably will relapse several times but you'll learn what your triggers are and you will beat it as long as you don't use the suboxone as a tool to just get you through to your next fix you can use this to get of them in a matter of days so help me, i swear it.
Again to reiterate we are talking about a 10-year addiction upwards of a thousand milligrams a day of Roxy's switching to heroin shooting it up within a matter of days developing a $40 a day heroin habit.
Luckily I quit the H about a month after I started so I didn't get too deep down that rabbit hole but believe me I was headed there and I was headed there on a freight train...
So how did I do it?
The first and most important thing is you must go into complete withdrawal you cannot try to beat that...you have to wait 24 to 48 hours usually the third day is the worst day of withdrawal for me so I force myself to go about 60 hours. The benefit of this is when you finally take your first suboxone you actually will feel relief where as if you take it too soon you will go into instant withdrawal and that sucks! however if you do do that don't panic don't start using again! you just merely have to wait about an hour before it kicks in and then your withdrawal will subside and you won't actually start feeling good until the third day.
Now, for heroin the half life is much shorter so when your shaking, sweating, and your body can't regulate its temperature, your nose is running, and you're withdrawing so bad that you need a friend to prepare your shot and shoot you up that it would be when it would be time to use suboxone. If that happens to be 10 hours after you last used then try to go 15 hours, try to sleep it off get to that next day.
If you take it too soon you will make yourself so much more miserable! instead let the withdrawal slowly come on that way when you take your first sub, you will feel relief and I'm talking relief as good as if you used your d.o.c
Now the key is to take it very slowly..for me the only thing I had access to was the 8 milligram strips.
I cut the first one in to 4ths. I took the first little one which I guess would equate to about 2 mg. My withdrawal went from about a 7 to about a 5. Not good enough. one hour later I took the second strip.
Now its to understand at this point I felt mentally down, lethargy, and some very minor lower back pain however the lower back pain is the reason why I started using so that could have been withdrawal symptoms or it could just be my chronic pain.
Its also important to note at this point there would have been no chance in hell I would have been able to go out and knock on peoples doors to sell crap to them. however for the most part I felt okay I was able to get up and clean and for me that is not something I can do on day 1, 2 or 3 of withdrawing !!!
So after 10 years of abusing upwards of a thousand milligrams a day of oxy and then switching to heroin shooting it up for about a month I was able to feel good on day 3 of withdrawing with merely 4 milligrams of Suboxone.
But I still had some back pain so 4 hours after the first for milligrams I took another 4 milligrams making my first day a total of 8 milligrams spread out over 4 to 6 hours
The next day I felt fine other than a little mental sort of dragging but I was not interested in becoming addicted to suboxone and dragging out my withdrawal symptoms so I waited until about 30 hours had passed after my last dose. I took one milligram! I cut one of my strips into fourths and then cut that one and half with nail clippers .
I took it as directed under my tongue and of course the bioavailability is next to nil so I wasn't even getting one milligram but the point is other than a little mental and sort of laziness I felt 0 withdrawal symptoms.
That is all I took on day 2. Which was day 4 of my withdrawal
On day 3 of using sub I cut one milligram completely in half so now I'm taking something about the size of a hole punch of and I forced myself to go about 10 hours and I gotta tell you I felt the symptoms come on stronger than prior so I took the exact same dosage as before about the size of a hole punch maybe even less and it took it away...that was day 3...
Day 4 I wanted to wait and see how long it would take before I need to take anything and a 4 came and went...day 5 came and went...day 6 came and went...day 7 i relapsed.
But this was not a typical relapse like I had enough of this I was still feeling very mentally strong and I had actually gone out and sold and had one of my better weeks in sales all while having absolutely nothing in my system...
The reason for this relapse was because I had been prescribed pain pills from my doctor for my chronic back pain and I'm not really interested in living sober. For me I don't need to drink I don't need to do any other drugs I feel no desire to smoke weed in fact I have never smoked weed until maybe 3 weeks ago. The only thing that ever gripped me was pills and that was because of the physical addiction that I knew nothing about when prescribed the little bastards.
So I used pills for about a week. I definitely did not take them as prescribed but I didn't go crazy either I just was kind of curious...anyway. I would strongly recommend you do NOT do this especially if you're feeling good remember the point is to get off of them if you have chronic pain well then just don't take more than you should
If you're being an addict and poppin more than you should then it ain't for your pain, it's for the addict inside of you and the high. so don't feed that addict because he will win in the end.
In fact the only reason I'm telling you about that is because I want you to understand after 10 years of abusing them and going through the worst withdrawal symptoms ever , not only was able to get off them for a week with absolutely no withdrawal symptoms, but after using again for a week I was able to stop with no withdrawal symptoms whatsoever and absolutely no suboxone!!!!
That's right after a week of nothing and then a week of using I quit again in on day 3 I was still waiting for the withdrawal to come and never felt it...
Day 4 mentally I started craving and day 5 the addict in me was raging, but my nose was not running,I had no restless leg, I had nothing.
So on day 6 sleeping on my side wrong brought some terrible back pain and so you know what I did? I took some Advil and I'll be damned if it didn't work! Now every addict when confronted by a loved one when they say "can't you just take some ibuprofen?" we all say the same thing
"it just doesn't work for me"
"its not strong enough"
"I have to take too much and its bad on my liver blah blah blah"
I had told that lie so much I actually believed it and I believed for the better part 7 years!
So just like that on day six and about 800 milligrams of ibuprofen later I'll be damned if I didn't feel good...day 7: I took a teeny tiny bit of Suboxone to see if it took away my back pain. I was curious to know if it was withdrawal symptoms or if my back really hurts well my back kept right on hurting ...four more advil later and I felt great
So that means I used a total of about 1.4 strips of 8 mg suboxone 2 IN ESSENCE quash a brutal addiction that had me down the rabbit hole.
By no means am I out of the woods and I don't even know that I want to be as I have no desire to continue to live with back pain, and I don't even know that sobriety is all it's cracked up to be... but I know life is beautiful, my children are beautiful and the fact that I am stronger than those fucking pills...with just a little bit of help...
I will never be addicted to those things like I was.
Now the only downside is I learned I can pretty much use at my heart's desire and then jump out of the cycle with one to two suboxone strips and that is a dangerous thing to learn so...please I'm begging you from one addict to another, please please please blue lighters..please with all my heart and soul do not relapse...do not use the suboxone as a tool to get you to your next high... if that's the case you sit there and you lay in your withdrawal until you can afford to go get your fix it because it will end up taking your life in the long run!
you will jump off sub just long enough to shoot up that one dose that kills you! Or to make a bad decision,or to get clipped by the cops or whatever....
Use the subs to get your body strong enough to get off of them...mentally you will have the impulses...your brain will throw impulses at you and it's your subconscious! you will dream about them and you will ejaculate in the middle of the night and you will experience things so vividly that it will hurt your heart... you will crave that high and euphoria so much that it will cripple you...
But you will not physically be going through withdrawal you don't need imodium you don't need whatever other thing that everybody says and honestly my first night was a little bit of Suboxone I was sleeping 10 hours again right back to my old ways the only thing I had was a little bit of flexoral if I needed it to help me sleep.
Tl:dr
I broke a 10 year almost a thousand milligrams a day oxy habit , and then about a month shooting up black tar heroin with 1.4 suboxone strips and you can too! I am weaker than you. You are stronger than me, you are more beautiful than me, you are more capable than me, and chances are your addiction is not anywhere near as bad as mine...so if I can do it...you can and you will. I know it...I feel it
