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Met this girl and I'm leaving in a few days

R

rollsolo

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 20, 2014
Messages
152
So here's the scoop... I met this girl while biking in a local park. We went on three dates total. This all happened within a months time. First date, a local restaurant by her house which was great, second date I took her to my neighborhood away from her town and we rode bikes in the park, talked, got dinner after and went to the beach leading to sex. Third date which was Yesterday (Sunday) I took her for a hike in the mountains two hours away.

Now i'm try to be level headed about the situation because I will be away on a trip for four months returning in Sept. However, I can't stop thinking about her now along with our experiences together during the time spent. This entire day I was preparing for Saturday (the day I leave), and getting my work together for take off. I couldn't stop wanting to see her again and look into her eyes. She sent me this text last night a few hrs after I dropped her off saying...

(Name!) Thanks so much again for a truly wonderful day. I really appreciate having met you, especially the way we did. I'm happy for the times we shared. Keep in touch! Very excited for your coming adventures. (Her name and address). I'll look out for your postcard - from wherever you send it. Safe and exhilarating travels to you!!

I sent her a follow up text an hour or so later saying (BTW don't make fun of my words)...

(Name), I'm glad to have met you too, it was a shining moment and intrinsic experience. I had a great time spent and sharing the mountains with you as well. I'll be in touch with you.

While I'll be gone for four months, I'd like to win her and make her mine. What's the best way to do this? Do I see her again on the whymm before I leave by showing up at her place? Do I just proceed by sending a postcard? Do I just let it go? I know I may sound super lame and had experiences with women in the past, sustained relationships, almost got married. But something about this one is different, from the way we met, our connection throughout has just been amazing. We connect on a level where I've never been able to with women before. And while I'm sure I will meet others as time permits, I met her and would like to pursue her or at least let her know that I want her with a burning desire. Any thoughts on this would be helpful, anyone ever been in a similar situation?
 
I have not been in a similar situation, but I think you should go on your adventure, but keep in touch with her...send her postcards and maybe one or two interesting things you pick up that you think she might like...just let her know she is being thought of while you are gone...like a postcard of mountains or something with just the words 'thinking of you"...maybe call or text her if you have time.

Then, you have let her know that you are interested in her, and are a thoughtful person who kept her in mind while pursuing your own life. That is a very attractive combination!
 
Yeah right on man. However, I want to hang with her tomorrow. It's better to just ask what's shes doing and that I want to see her. It's better to just get what uoir feeling to say or do out your syster instead of regretting that you didn't do it at that moment. The time is now.
 
I'm kinda in the same position, check my thread i started in slr......
Apart from the girl i met has gone away and isnt coming back, shes only a two hour flight away an i'm off to see her in the next couple weeks again(seen her in feb). Gonna tell her how i feel n im hoping to be move over there to be with her.
It's coming up to 3 months now since i seen her, and its loads easier now, but i still miss everything about her, and think about her all the time.
4 months isnt THAT long, keep in touch with her and make her yours when you get back i say....
 
Good luck with your thing you have going man. I thought holding back for when I get back would be good to. However, you don't really know what the situation may be. I mean I just saw her Sunday, it's a nice day out and thought about calling to see her again tonight, and if not them tomorrow. Friday I'll be leaving town and may not catch her. I think she said she was leaving town Friday as well. It would just be nice to see her and just telling her in person, that I just wanted to see you. That it was a nice day out and going for a walk around town would be nice with you., and just let her know how I feel. Idk maybe I'll save till Wednesday or Thursday.

Update: I've been in a long distance relationship that ended on bad terms a few months back. We were together for 2 1/2 years and a year of that was me in the EastCoast and her in the WestCoast (CA). I know what I wanted to but it was always hard to express it because she was so far away. Things happen when they happen and time plus life is short. Never know what can happen out there. But then the absence can be strong after returning, and can lead to a stronger experience. Its just really nice out lol.
 
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I think you should do everything. Like, if that's what you want. You know, you'll soon be dead and all that :\
 
Nono, I'm being sincere.
I just promised someone to live in a 3. world country today. If it happens, well, I'll miss the psychedelic shrooms. Unless I grow some down there. But I don't want to end up in jail in a crazy place :(
 
Mitchi said:
Nono, I'm being sincere.
I just promised someone to live in a 3. world country today. If it happens, well, I'll miss the psychedelic shrooms. Unless I grow some down there. But I don't want to end up in jail in a crazy place :(
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Right on man, sorry that's what I perceived from your comment. Anyways, that's interesting and hope that works for you. Question, what do you think is the best way to initiate another meet with this girl before I take off Saturday. Should I just call her tonight and say hey, want to meet up. If she says no then ask her what she is doing tomorrow? Or should I just text her... I think being spontaneous about it is cool. Worst she can say is I'm busy and can't. At least I won't feel like I didn't try.
 
That's fine.

Yeah, if you want to see her now, then ask her if she wants to do something now, or else tomorrow. Sounds like a plan. As long as you don't make it seem like you just want to fuck her before you leave. Even though it may amount to that. You know...

You should call. You never know through writing. She may think your being sarcastic ;)
 
Mitchi said:
That's fine.

Yeah, if you want to see her now, then ask her if she wants to do something now, or else tomorrow. Sounds like a plan. As long as you don't make it seem like you just want to fuck her before you leave. Even though it may amount to that. You know...

You should call. You never know through writing. She may think your being sarcastic ;)
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Good advice, also... a friend of mine said... You both said your goodbyes, leave it at that, go have fun and meet other girls, she’s most certainly going to be meeting other guys. Send her one postcard letting her know you did something awesome. Maybe when you get back you send her a text and see what happens. You left it perfectly, you do anything else you are going to blow it.
 
^not trying to complicate things, but I don't agree with that. If you want to see her again, let her know. Send her a casual text saying "hey, I actually have a few hours tomorrow before I have to leave", do you want to do something?

If she says yes, you get to see her again and strengthen the bond you're forming. If she says no (and not for a legit reason like she really cant go cos of work or something), then you know the feelings aren't as strong on her side and you shouldn't spend the next four months of your trip thinking of her and planning on how to get with her when you get back.

Thats how I feel. Life is short, man. SHORT. If you want to see her again, let her know.
 
BlueSaffron said:
^not trying to complicate things, but I don't agree with that. If you want to see her again, let her know. Send her a casual text saying "hey, I actually have a few hours tomorrow before I have to leave", do you want to do something?

If she says yes, you get to see her again and strengthen the bond you're forming. If she says no (and not for a legit reason like she really cant go cos of work or something), then you know the feelings aren't as strong on her side and you shouldn't spend the next four months of your trip thinking of her and planning on how to get with her when you get back.

Thats how I feel. Life is short, man. SHORT. If you want to see her again, let her know.
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I didn't agree with it either. You never know what can happen and the time is now. I don't mean to be selfish and not respect her time but It's been a good time thus far I'm not sure how seeing her again would blow it. Maybe he meant blow all the emotions built up to this point from our dates we had. I'm here and she is too. I think asking would be better than the burden that I would build up by not asking her and thinking about it on my trip. Besides, tomorrow is going to be another beautiful day and it would be nice to hangout. Do you think a text would be better than a phone call?
 
If you are beyond casual she will find it odd, that you're suddenly not yourself.
be yourself. You've got this one figured out :) (also if it means not writing, ignoring her, etc.).

Have fun
 
So I ended up texting her last night. Similar to BlueSaffron said. Got nothing back lol. haaha, I guess this is when they go MIA. Any thoughts?
 
Update:

Just received a text back saying...

Hey! I think it's wonderful of you to offer me your time. Sadly my work life is too consuming these days. I like how we parted. Our day together was really lovely - shall we let that memory linger? I am happy to savor.

Do I need to respond to this or just send a post card during my trip? Any help appreciated.
 
I suck at playing poker but I responded to her text. I just go with what I feel. Anyway... here are some message exchanged after her last text from before. I responded and said...


Me: Hey, no problem at all...I hope my demeanor didn't give you the wrong impression. I think I wasn't clear enough in my previous message. It was a great time and I'd like to see you again when I return, take care.


Her: Yes, of course! I wasn't put off in the least - so you needn't worry. Have such a wonderful time. I envy all that time to yourself - a special and enriching journey. Yes, call me up when you return. And be safe! xx


No the reason why I said this is because when I dropped her off last Sunday after our date she casually invited me to have dinner with her roommates. I declined because earlier she mentioned not hanging with her roommates much so I wanted to give her time to do that. I think I blew that and should of taken the offer. I'm thinking my earlier text wanting to meetup offering my time may have made it seem like I was looking for just sex. Not sure, girls are weird. I still plan on hitting her up when I get back, not expecting to jump head over heals but I'll make her mine and gain my frame back. I believe I can do that, and if not on with the river.
 
4months isnt too bad.
Like i said i havent seen my girl(well she isnt even mine yet like i said above, but ya know) for almost 3 months now, might not see her for a couple more :( but anyway these 3 months have been grim, i been outa work n housebound ill/injured until a few days ago, your gona be having fun and travelling, so time will fly. And you seem determined to make her yours when your back, so do that. Your chances seem higher than mine
 
lost_my_user said:
4months isnt too bad.
Like i said i havent seen my girl(well she isnt even mine yet like i said above, but ya know) for almost 3 months now, might not see her for a couple more :( but anyway these 3 months have been grim, i been outa work n housebound ill/injured until a few days ago, your gona be having fun and travelling, so time will fly. And you seem determined to make her yours when your back, so do that. Your chances seem higher than mine
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Thanks for the positive feedback man. However, someone told me that I had already lost my frame by reaching out. He said by doing what I did her interest level is low, or else she would had met up again. A woman falling in love would move mountains to see or hear from the man of her life. He said that I am over rating this quick meaningless sexual encounter as more. He also said that she has power over me know because I revealed my hand to early by reaching out. I thought this was a bit harsh but maybe he's right haha. Idk, we have a something that I never felt with another woman before in such a short amount of time. And I've had a couple serious relationships and never felt like this before.
 
I know exactly how you feel. I'm in the same boat, apart from shes in italy for good and im in UK. check my thread if you have 5.
3months on and i still think about her constantly.
If you dont stop thinking about her your entire trip away then do what you can when you get back.
I gotta go visit my chick soon, im stuck in limbo though. Last time we seen each other we agreed we couldnt do long distance as we'd only known each other two months, and its no way to start a relationship. Now i have pretty much decided, sometime this summer im gona ask her out n tell her id move there for her. I'm gona see her at least twice this summer, maybe 3 times for probly 4-7 days a time. If all seems to be going well im gona bite the bullet n ask her. At least ill know then cuz right now i cant stop thinking bout this situation.
Anyway sorry for the rant, and i dont think youve messed it up, you asked to see her again, what does she do career wise? She might well be telling the truth, maybe she was busy with work. Some people do really value their jobs before socialising. Fuck knows how, cuz im not 1 of those people, but they are out there....
 
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