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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

How are you in one word ver. Feelings left between the pages

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Xorkoth said:
Relieved - that my body seems to understand that on Saturday I will be taking ibogaine, in other words, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it's coming up very quickly. My withdrawals are about half as shitty or even less than they usually are and the only reason I can imagine is because my body just knows that the end is near.
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Keep at it, you're going to be getting that feeling of freedom any time soon!

Good luck with the ibogaine, I'm sure it's going to be one hell of an experience whether it's addiction curing or not. What/where/who with are you doing the experience? PM's if you don't want to go into it on the board.
 
OK

Got a meeting with the disability mentoring team at uni tomorrow to cover my issues around depression, addiction and possible ADHD. Should be a positive thing whatever the outcome really, got nothing to lose and just looking forward to perhaps finding out some more about myself.
 
good

Tomorrow should be even better. My fiancé is coming to visit tomorrow for a little bit then out daughter is gonna go stay with her for the weekend. So I'll be able to put in some time with my clan and Clan Wars
 
omen_owen mk2 said:
Keep at it, you're going to be getting that feeling of freedom any time soon!

Good luck with the ibogaine, I'm sure it's going to be one hell of an experience whether it's addiction curing or not. What/where/who with are you doing the experience? PM's if you don't want to go into it on the board.
Click to expand...

I've got a BLer, a really good friend of mine (he moved to the town I moved to, about a year after I moved and we've gotten close in the past 4 1/2 years), and he'll be sitting for me. I'll either go to his place or he'll come to mine. I am not really that scared anymore, I've been to a lot of different extreme psychedelic states, I rarely get scared anymore. Two BL friends (not him) have done ibogaine, and they both tell me it's not terrifying, just overwhelming. I think most of the people who have done ibogaine for addiction aren't really into psychedelics, but I am. I kinda can't wait now, Saturday can't come soon enough. :)

I got my ibogaine HCl and the total alkaloid extract and will be taking a combination (to simulate the whole plant rather than just the isolated ibogaine). Saturday morning I'm going to take my cats to the boarding place (since I won't be able to take care of them), and then I'm going to drive up the mountain to a great little isolated overlook and spend a couple of hours communing with nature and myself. Then I'll head over to my friend's house, probably smoke a hit of two of cannabis, and chill out, talk about it a little, calm myself, and then take it.
 
Suicidal

Ok not really but I am extremely depressed and don't want to live anymore but I don't plan to off myself until my mom is gone.
 
Disappointed

My benzos aint working anymore.. i do not want to have to up the dose again.
I finally got my tolerance to a "normal" level after years of tapering.
Why does this shit happen to me? I know they ain't supposed to work forever but have been for 10 years.
Damn it!
At least my other meds are still working though!

-HOOD
 
If you're receiving those benzos legally for medical purpouses I would suggest confiding with a trustworthy doctor (if one is available) about upping a dose or how to realistically make them effective again. Not wise to take it into your own hands.
 
The dr wants me to stay at the dose im at.
I'm already on other meds that are supposed to help with anxiety and my other "disorder".
I won't list them for i don't think this is the place for that.
He would prefer me to not be on them (benzos) at all actually, the only reason i am is because the dr i had before this one had me on them.
But i've been on them so long i can't stop, not yet..
Opiate PAWS just stopped, and am on week 3 of no alcohol.. maybe the no alcohol is why the benzos don't feel as "powerful" as they were.. ha, just thought of that.
 
Papaverium said:
Feelin' happy

I forgot how addicted to DDR I was....
*dance dance dance dance dance dance*
REAL ENDORPHINS!! ^^
*dance dance dance dance dance dance*
Click to expand...

YES!

I am feeling satisfied and understood today. I met with my therapist today and processed some impotant stuff. Then I had tea with a friend who I love and look up to. A great segue for the weekend.
 
Xorkoth said:
I've got a BLer, a really good friend of mine (he moved to the town I moved to, about a year after I moved and we've gotten close in the past 4 1/2 years), and he'll be sitting for me. I'll either go to his place or he'll come to mine. I am not really that scared anymore, I've been to a lot of different extreme psychedelic states, I rarely get scared anymore. Two BL friends (not him) have done ibogaine, and they both tell me it's not terrifying, just overwhelming. I think most of the people who have done ibogaine for addiction aren't really into psychedelics, but I am. I kinda can't wait now, Saturday can't come soon enough. :)

I got my ibogaine HCl and the total alkaloid extract and will be taking a combination (to simulate the whole plant rather than just the isolated ibogaine). Saturday morning I'm going to take my cats to the boarding place (since I won't be able to take care of them), and then I'm going to drive up the mountain to a great little isolated overlook and spend a couple of hours communing with nature and myself. Then I'll head over to my friend's house, probably smoke a hit of two of cannabis, and chill out, talk about it a little, calm myself, and then take it.
Click to expand...

Nice, sounds like you've got it all worked out.

I hope you have a great experience, whether it's an addiction curing one or not.
 
omen_owen mk2 said:
OK

Got a meeting with the disability mentoring team at uni tomorrow to cover my issues around depression, addiction and possible ADHD. Should be a positive thing whatever the outcome really, got nothing to lose and just looking forward to perhaps finding out some more about myself.
Click to expand...

Pissed

Turns out said meeting didn't cover any of the issues I mentioned. Even though I had specifically mentioned on a number of occasions that what I really need is support with my depression and an ADHD diagnosis either way it turns out that there has been no progress down those avenues WHATSOEVER. So, having turned up at the welfare service a coulple of months ago specifically saying I wanted to get tested for ADHD, only now do I have an appointment with a department that is even relevant for a preliminary discussion.
 
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