mental cravings vs physical dependency

[IllicitOne]

So basically I detoxed off oxycodone starting march 27th. It was only a 3-3.5week use, due to a bad kidney injury that occurred during a fall. I definitely went through some minor physical withdrawals. Very minor though, lethargic starting March 29th (spent all day in bed) and had trouble regulating temperature (hot/cold). Virtually no other symptoms, felt much better by sunday and near perfect by monday. Sicne then I've taken oxycodone four times. the past two days, and once 5 days ago. The more I walk around and such as Ive started life back up at school and transitioned into that from sitting in a bed all day causes me to take it more. Though I believe I've been responsible enough to avoid most physical withdrawal symptoms, the past two days I've been fairly active..probably too much so and I found myself having to take more than usual. It was at a point last night where after walking around all day I feel like even though it hurt, I was taking it equally used for recreation.

I know 3-3.5 weeks and a few times on/off is fairly mild. I should note I had a love affair with oxycodone over 5 years ago for a 2 month time span (also very short in terms of time). Im getting mental cravins for it which leads me to believe I have some form of addiction to the substance possibly? The physical withdrawals suck, as im sure many of you who will reply know, but my urologist told me I would feel shitty for a few days after stopping using them and would experience a mild flu-like set of symptoms coupled with sweating. He didnt mention the mental part that just makes me want to take the drug. Granted, I can usually just think about something else but last night I found myself giving in and it made me a little scared. Im virtually out of the prescriptions anyway and dont plan on asking for refills as the walking pain is supposed to diminish in the coming weeks, but what can I do about the mental bit?

I cant exercise due to my kidney (its torn in half, skiing accident). doctor said i may be able to start doing that within a month but its so hard for me, who is usually incredibly active, to be sitting on my ass all day long doing homework or playing xbox. what have you guys/gals done to alleviate the mental cravings? as ive said, exercise seems to be the most common answer but im not even allowed to lift over a gallon of milk (~2lbs) so what am i to do? The only thing that helps is valium (and thats very little) , but its ridiculous to pop a pill to avoid popping another pill.

 

[HdoubleODeezy]

but its ridiculous to pop a pill to avoid popping another pill.

Yup.

Try picking up a new habit that you can do and enjoy instead of thinking about the pills, preferably a healthy one..
Do you like relaxing teas at all? The antioxidants in it may also be beneficial to your kidney (not sure on that, but sounds good lol).
There are many healthy choices to do to help with cravings.. you should go ask this in TDS. They would be very helpful.

The mental part is basically just keeping your mind busy.
Build some model cars or do a really big puzzle lol.
Crosswords, sudoku, things like that.

Only until you are able to start being active again, then resume your regular lifestyle as much as possible.

 

[IllicitOne]

Yup.

Try picking up a new habit that you can do and enjoy instead of thinking about the pills, preferably a healthy one..
Do you like relaxing teas at all? The antioxidants in it may also be beneficial to your kidney (not sure on that, but sounds good lol).
There are many healthy choices to do to help with cravings.. you should go ask this in TDS. They would be very helpful.

The mental part is basically just keeping your mind busy.
Build some model cars or do a really big puzzle lol.
Crosswords, sudoku, things like that.

Only until you are able to start being active again, then resume your regular lifestyle as much as possible.

i feel like this is where the "once an addict, always an addict" comes into play from our previous conversation in my other post. the mental part sucks, especially without being active like you said

 

[HdoubleODeezy]

No i was simply giving you ideas about how to keep your mind off the pills.
That is what you asked right?

I didn't even say anything about your addiction or whether you have one or not.
That was another thread with a completely different topic than this.

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

Of course you still have cravings. There are two aspects to addiction. 1. Physical addiction (which you dealt with by detoxing and you are no longer dependent) and 2. Psychological (mental) addiction.

Detoxing sucks, but it's actually the easy part believe it or not, when it comes to staying clean. People relapse long after their physical withdrawals are over and that's because the mental addiction is so strong. Maintenance drugs like suboxone and methadone help a lot with that, but since you're already physically detoxed, it would be stupid to get dependent again on something. So definitely do not do that.

The only other way to deal with the mental aspect is lifestyle changes. Do positive activities, keep yourself busy. Boredom is a killer. It is a recovering addicts worst enemy.. you can't just be alone with yourself, stewing in your own thoughts and cravings. That's a big reason why people relapse.

As time goes on, the cravings and mental aspect will start to fade. It will get easier and easier. But only if you are proactive about changing your life, and developing coping skills, and relapse prevention skills.


This fits more in the Recovery section, so I'm going to move it over to Sober Living. You'll get tons of great help over there about how to stay clean and deal with the psychological addiction.

OD---->SL

 

[The Doc.]

Hey man I remember you. Its not so easy I guess eh its all good brother you can beat it if you stay strong you just have to admit it that you are an addict that's the first step is to realize the power this drug has over you. The reason you have mental cravings when you were told you shouldn't is because of your past use with oxy. This is what we meant by once an addict always an addict.
Let me know if you ever need anything I'm not gonna say I told you so cause I've been in your place I too am trying to keep clean and stable I've stopped shooting up and am taking suboxone as prescribed by a doctor and tapering down I have cut my dose down in half already. I am here for you if you need help there are lots of resources you can use to help. There is suboxone but that's reserved for hard core addicts and I don't think you qualifiy yet I just wouldn't leave it till you get to that point and close to losing everythibg

 

[HdoubleODeezy]

^ holy shit NSA.. you're good.

 

[The Doc.]

Yea that's a lot of good points here I sense a college degree in mental health and addictions. That's what I was told the last time I went into detox they said the addicts brain will trick you by only letting you remember the good things about life in active addiction and you idolise your D.O.C. more than ever because your mind is telling you its okay just go ahead and use but once you do relapse you very quickly remember why you didn't want this life and regret giving in. This is exactly what went wrong with me whenever I left detox before so now that I'm aware this time around I'm really watching my thoughts about when I crave heroin and writing down what situation I was in when I had a trigger.

I gotta say my favourite analogy of beating addiction is still the one I learnt the first time I was in detox (of course I didn't listen I thought it didn't apply to me) i find it explains addiction best and it explains the saying once an addict always an addict.
"Think of beating addiction as watching a big ship sail away at first its all you can focus on and its overwhelmingly huge seems like too much for you too handle. As time goes on the ship sails away getting smaller and smaller as you learn to cope with your triggers things get easier and you grow wiser. But this ship never leaves your site for as long as you live it only gets smaller as you get older but that part of your brain will always be there susceptible to falling back into dependency shall your D.O C. ever make its way back into your life. Im not sure who came up with this but I always tell this to people during A.A. meetings and they always seem to understand their addiction better after hearing it.

 

[IllicitOne]

Wow, that broke it down pretty well. I guess I always viewed addiction as physical addiction, and none of this mental addiction. I'm definitely prone to the mental cravings, and I guess I have experienced them at times throughout 5 years being "more-or-less" off them. Thanks for writing this out, this defintaely shines light onto what trainspotter and HdoubleO were saying in a previous post on addiction. Looks like you guys were right!

Dopamine release is incredibly interesting. I noticed this the other day in a sense when I took some painkillers (part for pain, but there were a part for recreation). My thoughts were telling me I would feel good, when in reality I didn't really feel that "good". Sure I was a little numb, less bored and so on but for the most part I just felt itchy and lazy. Granted with a right kidney torn in half I can't surf/workout during the week and ski all weekend (live in cali) and this lack of activity is the driving force behind these cravings I think. i've never been forced to be this inactive, and I've always led an incredibly active lifestyle for the most part. its been halted for a few months here and there due to injuries but never a 6 months long recovery process like this one. Walking still takes it out of me, wish I hadn't fallen..usually always find my feet.

thanks for all the advice guys, helpin me through a difficult time for sure. the boredom like you said is a fuckin killer

 

[JOLM]

The mental addiction is a lifelong battle.

If you're stuck off your feet, try getting into some hobbies that don't require much physically but will engage you mentally.

Also, any kind of group is great. In and out if all my addictions, aa, na, church, whatever, the things that helped me most were good, deep conversations with people.

That thought invoking shit can give your mind a really good buzz. For me, the social connection also helps with the emotional and mental pain that addiction leaves.

Time flies when your bullshitting with your friends.

Good luck.