Flickering
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2011
- Messages
- 1,118
Over the last eight or so months, I've only gone on two LSD trips, at tame doses. You could consider this a break, and now I have decided to get back into it, and much harder than before. I actually feel compelled by it.
But this time, I'm more interested in the deep end of the psychedelic experience. There is something enormous missing from my life and I have a distinct sense that I won't find it in this mode of reality. For years now, I've found some comfort and familiarity in surreal imagery, or even just everyday scenery that seems sublime when cast in a certain solitary light. The feeling is vague and frustrating, but there are moments I have the surest sense I have been somewhere like that before. Whatever it is, it has nothing to do with our time-based routines of work and study, living and dying, socialising and relaxing and watching the human world begin to disintegrate. Often I'm struck by the meaninglessness of it all, and I end up strolling the night streets, watching the metro lights on the water, looking for something to absolve the unnameable unease. I used to fear that it was the beginning of psychosis, but then insanity is more beautiful than I thought.
It seems to me that meditation or hypnosis would fall short of this goal, and the surest way to a world like the one I'm trying to find would be through the likes of DMT, ketamine, ibogaine, or perhaps even salvia. Maybe extreme doses of LSD or mushrooms would do the same, but my experience with those tends to show me a beautifully altered version of this world, and at best a mere glimpse of the beyond. I am interested in realities entirely unlike this one, where the rules of time, space and causality I've acclimatised to over a lifetime do not apply. I have never been there, though I've taken test doses of ayahuasca, special K and salvia before. I don't think it would be wrong to say I'm simply seeking an escape from this world, but maybe by doing so, I might find an angle on this one that will give it reason again.
I do not believe that I have a soul that's being called to this experience... however, that's the best way I can put it. I feel I have enough experience with hallucinogens that I'm ready for this. I'm aware of the dangers and resolved in myself to take the risk.
So if anyone has anything they'd like to tell me before I embark, I'd love to hear it. Thanks.
But this time, I'm more interested in the deep end of the psychedelic experience. There is something enormous missing from my life and I have a distinct sense that I won't find it in this mode of reality. For years now, I've found some comfort and familiarity in surreal imagery, or even just everyday scenery that seems sublime when cast in a certain solitary light. The feeling is vague and frustrating, but there are moments I have the surest sense I have been somewhere like that before. Whatever it is, it has nothing to do with our time-based routines of work and study, living and dying, socialising and relaxing and watching the human world begin to disintegrate. Often I'm struck by the meaninglessness of it all, and I end up strolling the night streets, watching the metro lights on the water, looking for something to absolve the unnameable unease. I used to fear that it was the beginning of psychosis, but then insanity is more beautiful than I thought.
It seems to me that meditation or hypnosis would fall short of this goal, and the surest way to a world like the one I'm trying to find would be through the likes of DMT, ketamine, ibogaine, or perhaps even salvia. Maybe extreme doses of LSD or mushrooms would do the same, but my experience with those tends to show me a beautifully altered version of this world, and at best a mere glimpse of the beyond. I am interested in realities entirely unlike this one, where the rules of time, space and causality I've acclimatised to over a lifetime do not apply. I have never been there, though I've taken test doses of ayahuasca, special K and salvia before. I don't think it would be wrong to say I'm simply seeking an escape from this world, but maybe by doing so, I might find an angle on this one that will give it reason again.
I do not believe that I have a soul that's being called to this experience... however, that's the best way I can put it. I feel I have enough experience with hallucinogens that I'm ready for this. I'm aware of the dangers and resolved in myself to take the risk.
So if anyone has anything they'd like to tell me before I embark, I'd love to hear it. Thanks.