need some advice on my situation

[legalizeall]

so ill keep this short and sweet and if there is other details you might need just let me know and ill post it.

ok, me and my lady have been together almost 10 years. no ring or kids. we lived somewhere for about 4 years with no problems except the nothing fights here and there. she has been there and supported me through 3 rehab trips but has made it clear she cant do another one which i can understand.

this last bender i had with booze i ended up going to rehab and she couldnt afford our apartment so she got a place with her friend. i get out of rehab and my buddy offers me a job where we were planning on living and where her parents relocated so its a giant coincidence. i leave first and move in with my buddy and she comes up a few months later and moves to her parents.

i get my own place and she talked about getting her own place to. we felt it would be good if she got her own place just so she could live on her own for awhile. like me, we have always had roommates.

well during this time at my own place i started doing meth. i have to say its been postive though. i work better, we both agreed our relationship has been the strongest, my depression is minimal where it was bad before. i moved from my hometown where i had been for about 30 years and moved away from my family and friends whom i was very close with. before meth, there would be days of dark depression for me but i dont go through that anymore. ive grown into an indivial which we both agree on. ive become just more of a man she wants to marry and start a family with.

ok so i had give that info for this. a few months ago she hit me with "when are we gonna move in together." well i thought you wanted your own place? basically she thinks were ready and she wants out of her parents house. driving her crazy.

she smokes weed and doesn't have a problem with mushrooms, dmt etc but meth is no good. she too believes all the propaganda she hears. lately though i have been making her aware of just how much bullshit they put out there that are lies and not really reality. but still i dont think it would be enough for her to be ok with me smoking.

its crunch time now cause my lease is up here at my place and she has been bugging me to find a place which i havent been.

so what do you think? please, its not a matter of loving the drug more. its too different things that cant be compared. i love her with all my heart and i believe she is my soul-mate. i just dont want to quit smoking either. if i quit, its not gonna be good

 

[invictus]

sounds like she is only bringing you down and methamphetamine may have saved your life.

 

[Brittyluff]

I'm not gonna go into one of my "meth is evil blah blah blah don't do that shit" rants. I think you should be truthful. She's gonna find out any ways. So its better for you to let her know before she finds out else where. If you wanted to you could start eating it in capsules or snorting your it. Its easier to hide your habit that way. I don't recomend this though. She would eventually find out. How often do you smoke? Does she honestly have no clue you're on something? Meth has lots of side effects and being a functioning -everything is normal wit me- meth addict isn't easy to do.

 

[legalizeall]

she doesnt know, no clue but its not something im proud of that i have to hide it or that she doesnt know. i want to tell her but i dont want to lose her either. so at the end of the day i believe i just have to close this chapter of my life. the meth part. cause if their is a choice its her definitely her. but its so hard to come to terms with that when it hasnt caused me alot of problems and that its almost improved our relationship and my view of myself and life. i just see things more positive now instead of such a negative angry person which i fear i could go back too.

smoke everyday but im able to maintain and keep it cool before i see her. if i could just get her to realize this. its not that i want her to join me either. not at all. i just want her to step outside of her preconceived ideas about this substance and see it for what its doing in my life. not what she has been told by less than reliable sources. it just so hard cause its meth which is the evil one, the unforgivable one.

she isnt bringing me down. in fact quite the opposite and i would be lost without her. she enhances my life. i dont see and want to be with anyone else. im truly blessed and im quite honored to have her on my arm when we go out. honestly i dont know what she sees in me sometimes but this substance has made me more confident and i realize that im a good dude to be with and she is lucky to have me as well. i put her on a pedestal and treat her very well. im not the jealous type anymore like i used too. if you look at my lady, thats fine. its a complement. look at how hot she is and she goes home with me so take a good look.

im not saying that this is something that cant be harmful but i think it has alot of benefits if maintained somewhat. i mean that i dont do anything different than the dude who gets off work and drinks a six pack after work sitting in front of the tube watching tv. i come home after my full time job, take a shower, play around on my laptop, play a little on the xbox, eat dinner, talk to some people on the phone and go to bed. i dont sit here and take things apart, peer out my window, or whatever else they think "tweakers" are doing. and i do that everyday. nothing changes. and like the dude who drinks his sixer after work probably drinks a little more on his weekends and he might get occasionally fucked up if the mood is right. same with me. maybe smoke a little more and maybe i play my xbox for longer. but im about has harmless to society as anyone could get.

 

[pofacedhoe]

go to the doctor and get a script for adult adhd and dexedrine if you think its the only thing that helps. amphetamines in the long run burnt me out badly but a legitimate script is much more easy for a girlfriend to tolerate than a street meth habit. plus it will limit your intake.

you're in an amphetamine honeymoon- they dont last and thats for sure. what usually happens is tolerance goes up and the user goes crazy and egotistical and when they run out they get way more depressed than anything you've yet experienced. totally non functional lying in bed for days on end crying staring at the wall depression...

 

[spacejunk]

you're in an amphetamine honeymoon- they dont last and thats for sure. what usually happens is tolerance goes up and the user goes crazy and egotistical and when they run out they get way more depressed than anything you've yet experienced. totally non functional lying in bed for days on end crying staring at the wall depression...

^ this.
Meth is not a sustainable drug to use, especially in a relationship where you feel it makes you a better person - and particularly if you're not doing it together.
It seems very subtle and functional at first. This will pass - and for a lot of people, the opposite impression will develop; fiending for more as your last dose wears off, and your tolerance rises - you'll watch that "individual you both agree on" vanish before your very eyes.
I'm not trying to demonise meth, but (when you first start using it) it increases your sociability, your mood - makes you enjoy people and can make you enjoyable to be around.

I don't mean to be pessimistic - but you need to either let her know exactly what's going on, or try to spend a good few months without meth before moving in together, in my opinion.
The recovery period from frequent/semi frequent meth use (to no meth use) can be pretty emotionally erratic.
If you experience depression anyway, expect to see it manifest itself in ways you're not familiar with

Methamphetamine seems to be one or those drugs that will fuck around with your mental health, no matter how careful you are in taking it. Even the most responsible user can be hit by some really messy rebound effects (basically the opposite of all the good things it does for you now) upon cessation or reduction of use. Not to mention when you're coming down or fiending for a redose

The word "anhedonia" seems like it was coined to describe the way people feel when they stop taking meth.

i hate to sound like one of those "drugs are bad" people, but youre playing with fire, with this one.
The reason meth has such a bad rep is partly how much it can fuck with your personality and emotional balance.

I'm sure I'm not the only person here who has experienced the honeymoon period only for it to degrade into paranoid, self-loathing shit.

 

[llama112]

So how long have you been using meth for? I'm guessing at least three months. And you do meth EVERY day?

Was your previous rehab for meth or something else?

Okay, so I can completely understand using amphetamines on the weekend. I enjoy going out, partying on amphetamines, it's fun. That being said... during the week, my body can't handle that. I really wonder how your body can handle all of that. And how you get to sleep every night too... that's always tough for me!

If you want to continue using meth, you've got to come clean to your girlfriend. Maybe start off small. Say you enjoy it on the weekends. And then, instead of her believing all the propaganda about it, give her some facts. I don't think I could date someone who believed all that propaganda to be honest. I mean, if a person isn't smart enough to think for themselves and not believe just the media BS then I just couldn't be with that person. So inform her!

 

[legalizeall]

So how long have you been using meth for? I'm guessing at least three months. And you do meth EVERY day?

Was your previous rehab for meth or something else?

Okay, so I can completely understand using amphetamines on the weekend. I enjoy going out, partying on amphetamines, it's fun. That being said... during the week, my body can't handle that. I really wonder how your body can handle all of that. And how you get to sleep every night too... that's always tough for me!

If you want to continue using meth, you've got to come clean to your girlfriend. Maybe start off small. Say you enjoy it on the weekends. And then, instead of her believing all the propaganda about it, give her some facts. I don't think I could date someone who believed all that propaganda to be honest. I mean, if a person isn't smart enough to think for themselves and not believe just the media BS then I just couldn't be with that person. So inform her!

using daily for little over 2 years. ya im thinking about doing what you said as far as telling her. slowly. the last month or so ive been showing her drug propaganda like reefer madness and the actual truth are very different. how people can be influenced just by being shown something through a media like the radio of tv. they believe it without question. she knows im into the whole drug culture genre and that its one of my interests. my previous rehabs is for alcohol. she is smart and level headed but meth has so much baggage attached to it that i dont know i can shake all that so that she accepts it.

im sure everyone here is right about the honeymoon phase. i figured after 2 years though, that honeymoon would be gone. my tolerence is pretty substantial too and i wouldnt even say i get that high anymore. just a little jolt when i use after work cause of the almost a ten hour break from the morning tokes. but if i just smoke all day, im pretty much sober. the other day it felt more just like force of habit to meet my dude.

i stopped once for a few weeks and felt some of that mental withdrawl that wasnt fun. i thought it was easier than heroin or painkillers though but still no fun at all. and going through that right after we move in doesnt seem ideal either. oh what a tangled web of bullshit i have made for myself. i swear if i could kick myself in the head i would.

i dont use cause im hiding some inner demon or trying to cover up memories from my childhood. i had a great upbringing, good education, went to trade school and got my degree, good friends, loving parents etc. i just like drugs and the different things they can do to you. i like how they can make you think from a totally different angle that you wouldnt have thought about sober. i dont see the harm in wanting to feel good and im not ashamed of saying, ya i need something for this boring life. i dont want the white picket fence, minivan and two and a half kids. im going on a rant here, never-mind.

i just want to thank everyone for their input so far, its been more helpful then you know. i like to get other peoples take on things esp those that arent connected to the situation at all. there is no bias.

 

[meth444]

Heart goes out to you, OP. Glad you are here to talk about it.

 

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

If you choose to move in with this girl, then I think you need to be fully honest with her about your habit.
It's COMPLETELY unfair of you not to do so.

Here's my statement to ponder.... if right now- everything seems to be going "great"- why try to fix something that's not broke?

Honestly, you have a lot of shit on your plate, whether you are ready and willing to admit it or not. You are not going to stop using until you want to- and there's nothing wrong with that. But here's where there is/would be a problem- 1) if you tell yourself you are just going to stop using because you are moving in with this chick and that's what's for best OR 2) if you decide to move in with this chick and just continue to use and lie about your habit.

If you can resign your lease where you're at: I'd vote for you to do that. And just tell chicky that you are not ready to move in with her yet. Tell her that you really want the next time you move in together to really work this time- and that you continue to need to work on yourself a little bit more before you make that jump.
And then that's where you can decide what you're next move is. Do you quit? Do you slowly show her that using meth isn't as bad as she makes it to be? Do you continue to use, and date her? It can go in any direction. But what is really unfair and unrealistic is to think that this (your use) will continue to be peachy forever. If you love this girl- you need to realize it's unfair to put her in a situation that is based around lies.

And as far as leases go.... for whatever reason people tend to use them as excuses.... Excuses to stay in a current relationship.... excuses to leave a current situation.... Reality of most situations is this: If you are involve yourself in a 12 month lease- and 6 months down the line you realize that you want to move out- most landlords can tolerate it as long as you give them some notice. They just don't want to be stuck with losing out on money- but if you were to give your landlord a 60 day notice or something- he'd probably be understanding. It would give him enough time to advertise the place and find a new tenant so the place doesn't sit uninhabited, and it would also leave you in good standing so you have a reference for the future.

Anyway- I went off on a ramble there. But to sum it up there champ- you just have to be honest somewhere along the lines... and how you break the ice with that is in your court but it's just the right thing to do.

 

[Emeillia]

Was on it morning noon and night behind my husband's back for 3 months.He was the only 1 that didnt no? I came clean I had to the money I was spending the continuous lies I was afraid for myself our marriage. At the end of the day I wish I had of read or listened to all the evils of the life fucker. He ended up getting on nearly as bad as me. We lost it all our marriage our house cars ect. We were a respected happy family with a beautiful 5 year old daughter.