Kicking Methadone the "wrong" way after almost 2 years of maintenance treatment.

[BreakFree]

Kicking Methadone the "wrong" way after almost 2 years of maintenance treatment.

A little bit of history, I am an opiate addict (obviously). Typical story of escalating use started using heroin. Wasn't ready to quit, couldn't keep doing what I was doing, so I went to the methadone clinic. That was almost 2 years ago.

Since then, I've been doing well. I've been a model patient, never failed a drug test, done everything they've asked. Until today, I had 2 weeks of take home doses.

I woke up to a message left on my phone that I had missed a call back. Sure enough, 2 days ago there was another message asking me to come in with all of my medication, all that stuff, to check up on me. Since I missed this call back, I am expected to go 7 days a week again. I will not go back to that.

I've been thinking about weaning off for a while now. I think it's time. I'm treating this as the kick in the ass I need to finally pull the trigger.

I have been taking 80mg a day for about 2 years. I have 5 take home doses left (which is exactly what I should have left. I've never cheated.) which means 400mg. My plan is to drop 10mg a day, starting tomorrow (I will take my whole 80mg today).

Now, I know this is very much the "wrong" way to do it, as far as maintenance therapy goes. I know I will be sick. I know I will be tempted. But right now, I'm as much a slave to that clinic as I ever was to heroin. It's served it's purpose. I'm completely out of the drug culture. I've been living a normal life fo almost 2 years. I'm ready to take the next step, but I know the next step is painful.

Since I am looking at a solid month of hell, and I'm not really a fan of the structure of AA/NA, but I need a support system of some sort, and I can't turn to my gf or my family (they think I quit cold turkey 2 years ago.. Fucked up thing to tell my gf especially, but addicts do fucked up things right?), I decided to post here. I've used BL a lot over the years, since I always put a lot of research into any drug I put into my system, but I've never posted. I'm going to have to let this all out somewhere, and I'd like to be proof that it's possible to succeed at this after I am through it. Because I WILL get through it. I'm gonna need help getting there though. That's where you fine folks come in. I figure I have about 4-5 days before the WD starts to creep in, and about 6-8 days before things get bad bad, and from there I will have a month of physical and emotional hell to go through.

I'm 23, very intelligent, personable, I have a happy, stable long term relationship, and a (relatively) stable home life. I have everything going for me that the outside world could possibly provide, short of a trust fund. I've worked out the major issues leading to my addiction over the past 2 years, while on the methadone, so the last monkey I have to get off my back is the methadone itself. It's time. I never miss a message on my phone. I have several alerts set up, and I missed them all for this last call back. I'm taking it as a sign from the universe telling me that I'm ready for this.

Any advice and just encouragement are helpful. Anybody who has been in a similar situation and made it through, please share. I know it will help my sanity later to know that other people have been where I am and made it.

I get paid on Tuesday, and I am going to put a kit together. On the list right now Loperamide for the runs and other benefits it provides, Naproxen and Acetaminophen for the aches and fever, and melatonin to help me sleep at night. Any other OTC suggestions are greatly appreciated. I've been thinking about the L-Tyrosine related stuff, if I can find it.

Anyway, I've rambled long enough. I appreciate the help and support I'm sure I will receive here. Thanks, each and every one of you, in advance.

TL;DR - I'm a recovering addict on methadone treatment who has decided to quickly taper his dose and walk off. I've come here for advice and support because I know I'll need it in the coming days.

 

[ad lib]

Hey Breakfree! Congrats on your decision to kick methadone and get clean. It's huge, and shows how strong you are because that willpower is there.

Here is some information that you may find useful:

The medications I would explore the use of for detox would be:
>Clonidine< DOSED EVER FOUR HOURS..

one of either
>NEURONTIN< >HERE< >HERE<
OR >Lyrica<
OR >phenibut<

>A BENZO BUT JUST AT NIGHT<
>a nsaid<
>melatonin<
tylenol

(Opi Withdrawal) what is the best comfort meds for opiate w/d?

Your Personal Opiate Withdrawal Arsenal

 

[BreakFree]

Thanks, ad lib! Not sick yet. Took my normal 80 2 days ago, and 70 yesterday... So far so good. I know it's coming though. Just gotta get through this next month and I'll be done with all of this though. Worth it!

 

[ExInMil]

Howdy BreakFree,
What the list above seems to omit is gabapentin.
EDIT: Neurontin is Gabapentin
Let me quote a pubmed study someone showed me:

Gabapentin is a potentially useful drug in alleviating the hyperexcitatory painful states in the control of opiate dependence in acute detoxification and the stabilization phase. This study aim was to evaluate the effectiveness of gabapentin adds-on methadone therapy on lowering the methadone. This randomized double blind controlled clinical trial conducted at an outpatient rehabilitation clinic. Sixty patients using opium, opium extract and heroin were randomly assigned to two groups (34 in treatment group and 26 in control group); one group was prescribed combination of methadone (40-120 mg) and gabapentin (300 mg) as group A, and the other group was given methadone (40-120) and placebo as group B. The subjects were followed up for three weeks after intervention. There were 60 outpatients including 51 males with the mean age of 40.9±9.2. Daily dose and cumulative dose of methadone during the treatment was found to be significantly higher in group B (73.8±19.5 mg daily vs. 58.9±11 mg daily and cumulatively 1550.7±409.7 mg vs. 238.3±238.2 mg, p= 0.001). When the patients were stratified based on the kind of abused drug, the methadone dose was seen to be significantly reduced in the opium addicted patients in the group A. Group A showed more withdrawal symptoms whereas the most common complain of group B was sedation particularly during the first three days. The results showed that gabapentin is an effective adds-on therapy when is added to methadone. This drug leads to relief of withdrawal symptoms and lower methadone consumption.

I wish I knew about this when I kicked methadone alone on a couch, ha. But hey i got through it anyway.

And you will too.

 

[ExInMil]

Oh and this one aswell:

CONCLUSIONS: Add-on gabapentin with a dose of 1600 mg/d is effective in reducing some of the withdrawal symptoms in patients addicted to opiate undergoing methadone-assisted detoxification.

Source

 

[RedRum OG]

i agree with gabapentin, shit works wonders. also, hydroxyzine, clonodine, weed, trazadone at night.

you can also use cimetidine in the 800mg 1-2x a day range to make your methadone have a longer half life- last longer, and more powerful, cuz seriously, 5 days worth for a taper is like nothing

 

[BreakFree]

Thanks for the support guys! Unfortunately, the only non-OTC med I have any access to is Trazadone. It's possible I could find more, but I don't want to start looking on the street. I've already cut all those ties, and I don't want to make new ones right when I'll be tempted the most.

An update on where I'm at:

I took 70 on Friday, skipped yesterday, and took 60 today. I'm a little bit sweatier than usual, but I'm able to deal. I know this is just the beginning though.

To those of you who have withdrawn from Methadone, what kind of time line would you put on it? One week of getting worse, 2 weeks of really bad, then a week of getting better is what I've heard? Is that accurate, in your personal experiences?

 

[neversickanymore]

I detoxed of methadone, oxy, and xanax at the same time. This proved to be a long ride but well worth it. I would think that you will be in strong acutes for two weeks after wich you will start to feal better. Then you will start to feal a little better each day until you will feal pretty normal in a few months. After your opiate receptors shut down around month four to seven then most of the Paws will go away.

You can do this.. it will be a little rough but then you will be free.

Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS)
Post Acute Withdrawal (PAW) Excerpted From “Staying Sober” By: Terence T. Gorski
Post-acute-withdrawal syndrome Wiki
Exercise and Mood

 

[BreakFree]

Thanks NeverSickAnymore! I'm most definitely in the acute phase now.. But I haven't lost heart at all. I think it being a withdrawal of my choice is making all the difference. I know why I'm doing it, I know there's a light at the end of that tunnel. That's what's keeping me going.

 

[neversickanymore]

How you doing Break?

 

[ExInMil]

I think it being a withdrawal of my choice is making all the difference.

As opposed to being forced to withdraw due to lack of funds, or it being dry, etc....
For sure, when you chose to put yourself through the pain and for a good reason, it makes a night and day difference in my humble opinion.

But yeah, as NSA asked, how are you doin?

 

[BreakFree]

Through the worst of it now. My legs still ache pretty bad and I've still got the runs, but the rest is pretty much done with. Now I just have to deal with the craving and the whole actually being sober deal. Which is really the hard part.

 

[T. Calderone]

So you are methadone free now or tapering? When I read your first post I thought you would be in for a lot of withdrawal pain being on 80 mg for two years. Wow, that's excellent and I admire your perseverance.

 

[neversickanymore]

Nice work breakFree!!!! ​

That really is quite the accomplishment.. not joking at all.. for sure!! Please don't forget to give yourself the credit you deserve for all the great things your pulling off.

Have you come up with a plan to try and deal with any paws or one to deal with the addiction?

Maybe take a look at those paws threads when you get a chance. It is really common for some people to feal really up as far as mood right after kicking, like two days and then the paws often hit.. this phenomenon is more common with detoxes from shorter acting opiates, but also with methadone. If you have this happen please take this time to come up with a plan for the PAWS because for most people its allot easier to do this before they show up.

Its really powerful to keep the thoughts positive and to keep it simple for a while .. just have to stay right in today. right in the moment. If we slip into yesterday we can get hit with guilt, shame, remorse, anger, resentment, and If our mind wanders into tomorrow we can get slammed with fear, anxiety, self doubt, hopelessness, etc.. so we have to work at keeping it simple and keeping our thoughts centered around just today.

Here is something that can really help teach us how to do this.
Here is the mindfulness thread.

Here are some threads I would encourage you to join.. allot of us use them to help keep our thinking, thinking in the right way.

Good things about being off drugs/getting sober
Share something POSITIVE from your day!
Today I Am Thankful For... Ver. 3: Earth, Wind and Fire!



Again thats the shit Free.. that methadone tunel can be one tough passage.

Through the worst of it now.

Now thats special right there.. the light at the end of the tunnel.. Your doing it!!:D

NSFW:

 

[BreakFree]

Thanks for the support guys! Something is kicking in today. My cravings are through the roof. I'm having to actually physically talk myself through them, remind myself why I'm doing this. As soon as I get a chance, I'm going to check out those threads, because here comes the war of attrition.

Oh, and I've been methadone free for about 18 days now.

 

[GettingClean]

Good for you!!! I'm at the same place right now. no methadone but cting off opiates after a cpl year addiction. It's. Fucking. Hard. Literally every second of my thoughts are consumed right now. But we got this. I don't think I can message anyone yet but feel free to message me if u need an ear...hang in there!!

 

[Xorkoth]

Good job, what you've done so far is a serious accomplishment! You can do it, I believe in you.

 

[ExInMil]

19 days! Good work my friend.

 

[BreakFree]

Thanks for all the positive vibes. I want to rip through my skin right now, and it is taking tons of effort to not be consumed by those thoughts. I guess this is the limbic system telling me I'm going to die without it? I'm coursing with adrenaline. I can't form a complete thought. Getting through work was Hell today.

 

[neversickanymore]

Your doing amazing Break even if you dont feal amazing. Keep at it and keep it simple as you can. I know the last thing people like to hear is another person to tell them how it gets better,, well it does get better. There is nothing back there for you.. you left there because it sucks, you powered through the detox.. It will slowly get better now a little everyday until it gone.. You can do this and your doing great.

Fight, fight, fight.. no where to go but forward. You are doing it.. that bastard the limbic system tries to convince you that you will always feel this way.. it lies.. dont fall for its shit. Its trying to break ya.. your not going to break.. your breaking free YOUR DOING IT!!!