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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Gibberings CLXI: The Numerals are Probably Wrong, The Words Within Most Certainly Are

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Bearlove said:
If Im 'on the drink' I will lose so much weight - If I'm however enjoying a few drinks I will gain weight. Mind you I hover around the 100kgs region so a few kg here or there is nowt :) (Have I shared my story of falling over in the shower ? Fucking army showed up - police came first but they looked like a few chavs - couldn't pick me up let alone carry me down the stair (I was so fucked up :D )
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The ARMY?! Fucking Hell, I'll scurry my 120lb ass in the other direction! ;)
 
Eveleivibe said:
Thanks Shambles - I do sometimes take 8 mg so I know I won't feel a difference. I'm just worried that once they start reducing me it'll be too quick and I don't think I can cope with that. When I was on 8mg I could not cope due to having heavy cravings and I was drinking heavily on it n in self-destruct mode ODing on antidepressants n I mean the slightest thing would upset me and I'd take the lot then drink a load and have codeine as well as the sub. Then I went to 12mg in November and things became better - still not financially but better in other ways.
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That's all perfectly standard stuff - everybody needs to find the right dose to break the link with the opi they are addicted to. The bit you're focussing on is the bit you've already done - you're past that stage now, don't forget. That's what I was saying about bupe not really having much in the way of cravings - you're dependent on bupe not codeine and bupe is dead easy to taper without craving. I remember you saying much the same when you first started posting here so I know you know this stuff.

I think you're focussing too much on the past. It's not the past anymore it's several months down the line with you being stable on bupe now. You know you can't stay like that forever and there is an argument to be made that the longer you do stay on it the more a part of your life it becomes and can turn into an excuse to just not want to quit at all. Of course you have every right not to want to quit at all but that will ultimately mean you having to stop bupe and switch to some other opi cos they will script you for plenty of time but not forever. You do have to at least show willing and be open to the idea of trying to taper. You don't have to taper all at once by any means - you can make a one-off drop and leave it for... not quite as long as you want but long enough. This is the way bupe treatment goes - you drop down as and when you are ready to and at a certain point you'll find you kinda just realise one day that you don't actually need it any more and that's when you do the final push down to nothing. In the meantime you just gradually work down as and when you feel able to to help it along the way and so you don't end up stuck in the same place forever.

You do seem to be extremely focussed on the possibility you might have cravings but it will just stay that way if you don't ever take the first step towards actually finding out whether you do or not. Take the lil drop, give it a few weeks and see if you are getting lots of cravings. If you are and they're a real problem go back up to 12mg. If you find that actually you feel fine - quite probably actually a bit better than you do on 12mg even - then stick with 10mg for a bit. Sometime further down the line you or your doc will think that 8mg is probably gonna be enough and you do the same thing then - try it, give it a chance, then decide whether to stick with it or leave it til a better time.

Bupe is a funny ol' drug - it works for you and against you cos of that mixed action. When I was first scripted it I was on 24mg per day and I felt fine on that - not great but okay. Around a year or so later I'd worked my way down to 8mg (or maybe it was 12mg - at least half anyway) and I felt a lot better at that level. It really is a strange drug - once you're adapted to it you almost feel better on lower doses than you do on higher ones (assuming you're not getting w/d effects).
 
Allein said:
I never had you down as a goth :D
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I'm rather fond of Sisters of Mercy and used to wear black almost exclusively but no, I'd never describe myself as a goth. Plenty others have in my younger days but only cos they didn't know me very well. I suppose I vaguely fitted the look cos black and leather and boots and long dark hair and stuff. I don't really describe myself as being an anything in particular.

(aside from junky waster sometimes but not so much these days)

Bearlove said:
From the two photos I have seen of you, I would not use the hunted or haunted tags :D
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That'd be cos they would both be post-junkydom. Although would also be long enough ago that I was shooting shit up of one kind or another on a daily basis.

ColtDan said:
Shamby get your face out =D you mysterious fucker <3
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I've posted a pic that shows my face in EADD. Only once but I have. It's not getting posted again anytime soon.

Nicklazz said:
Stay mysterious Shambles, the girls loves that.
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Bearlove said:
FWIW, IMHO etc - shambles is a good looking guy :)
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Not just the girls it seems :D

raas_2012 said:
That's a pretty damn good guess
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Not really given I don't look anything like PTCH. Good lookin' boy is PTCH. I'm clearly gorgeous (Bear said so - yes he did, that's exactly what he said :p - so must be true) but got a good 10 years on him and look completely different. Can't really think of anybody I look very much like actually. One of my exes - but only a bit - and that doesn't really paint much of a picture for anybody else I suppose. Folk always thought we were siblings though so presume we looked a bit similar. She didn't look like a bloke so don't know what that says about me... :sus:
 
Look I don't mean to be funny but it's ok for you lot you get to have your drugs anytime.
I can't do that. My parents are across the stress n watch like hawks since my codeine addiction.
You can all have your fun and you say this to me about getting off suboxone when I'll have to stay abstinent.
I'm going to bed as not in the mood tonight n I'll just end up lashing out at someone.
 
Eveleivibe said:
Look I don't mean to be funny but it's ok for you lot you get to have your drugs anytime.
I can't do that. My parents are across the stress n watch like hawks since my codeine addiction.
You can all have your fun and you say this to me about getting off suboxone when I'll have to stay abstinent.
I'm going to bed as not in the mood tonight n I'll just end up lashing out at someone.
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Are you preaching or having a go at me? We have spoken via PM a few times about your tone.
 
Fairy speedy and now a bit benzo'd... deffo gotta get sleep tonight

Some random old one of me

NSFW:
 
Eveleivibe said:
Have we??? Only PMs I've had from you are friendly one's nothing about "my tone" at all.

No wasn't talking to you at all. Where are that come from?????
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Haha - keep up at the back :D

Yeah our pm's are great - sorry wrong wave length - PV pixies and alarm bells ?


PM you now

Bear x
 
Eveleivibe said:
Look I don't mean to be funny but it's ok for you lot you get to have your drugs anytime.
I can't do that. My parents are across the stress n watch like hawks since my codeine addiction.
You can all have your fun and you say this to me about getting off suboxone when I'll have to stay abstinent.
I'm going to bed as not in the mood tonight n I'll just end up lashing out at someone.
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That just sounds like you want to take drugs. If that's the case then take drugs. Parents never stopped anybody taking drugs. Responsibilities - like being a parent - rarely do either frankly. It's really not something to wish for - you know what they say about being careful what you wish for...

Yes I can take drugs whenever I want. Can't do much of anything else though.
 
raas_2012 said:
That's a pretty damn good guess
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Shambles said:
Not really given I don't look anything like PTCH. Good lookin' boy is PTCH. I'm clearly gorgeous (Bear said so - yes he did, that's exactly what he said :p - so must be true) but got a good 10 years on him and look completely different. Can't really think of anybody I look very much like actually. One of my exes - but only a bit - and that doesn't really paint much of a picture for anybody else I suppose. Folk always thought we were siblings though so presume we looked a bit similar. She didn't look like a bloke so don't know what that says about me... :sus:
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I was thinking in terms of long hair
 
^ Can PTCH wipe his arse with his? Hardly counts as long in my book then. He looks kinda like Ian Brown in my mind. Or at least that one pic definitely does. I definitely do not.

Nicklazz said:
Ofc ya can Shambles, I think like that often about myself too. But aint the truth.
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I mean that whilst I'm caught up in the lifestyle and way of thinking that I can take drugs whenever I want I can't do anything else. "Real life" and excessive drug use don't mix so well :\

Is kinda what I meant by being careful what you wish for. Ain't always quite the deal you hoped for initially.
 
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