Bad reaction from opiates/opiods!

[junkieblues]

I have been using opiates/opoids since I was 20 years old and I'm 43 now. I knew from the start that these drugs made me feel like I thought I was supposed to feel. It was like coming home or finding the one thing that made me feel right. I loved it and still do. I have been using constantly except for going to prison a couple of times and I was on methadone clinic for 3 years on 130 mg. a day.
Anyway, I have been shooting heroin and similar drugs (ie: oxy's, opana diluad) for a long time. I always had a high tolerence. About 7 or 8 years ago I shot some tar and came to on the floor with the water running over in the sink and a couple of holes in the wall. I don't remember any of that. I was always the type who would do some H or whatever and feel like getting up and doing something while others would just nod out. Over the years this has gotten worse. A lot of the time I would be using alone and sometimes I would get that rush and then level out and feel great and funtional. But after awhile I started to black out and come to with things broken and bruises and cuts on my arms,legs etc.
Well about a year ago I had one of these episodes and I came to on the floor in a pile of broken glass. I had almost destroyed my apartment and after 4 days I ended up going to the hospital for the deep cuts on my hands and legs. My pinky was almost cut in two and my elbow and other hand had cuts to the bone. I had thrown things, broken furniture and appliances and had blood and holes in several places on the walls. I ended up in the hospital and had to have a skin graft to save my finger, I almost lost it and had surgery for that and a deep cut on my elbow. I was in the hospital for 10 days. My kidneys were almost shut down from dehydration. On another occasion my friend and me did some H and I remember feeling it come on and then I blacked out and he used his phone camera to tape me and I was on the floor rolling around, ripped my shirt off, was screaming and clapping and slapping myself in the face. Basically freaking out. I have never heard or seen anything like it. The drug that made me feel sooooo great had somehow turned on me and I don't know what has caused all of this. I never had anything do me like this. I could sometimes do some and get the rush and level out and feel so good but now I can do some and I feel it coming on then black out and come to and have broken things and put holes in the wall and basically destroy anything around me without any recollection of how it happened. I am just wondering what has caused me to act this way. I have never been a violent person or had a real bad temper or anything but during these episodes I seemingly try to break stuff, throw things like my computer and other things and basically cause a lot of damage. I don't know if it is some kind of allergic reaction my body has built up from abusing these drugs for so long or what. The last few times I did any I did small shots and could feel a little rush but if I do a little too much, (enough to get a good rush) I end up blacking out and have one of these episodes The h and pills always made me feel peaceful and content if not euphoric but now they turn me into someone who trys to break anything around me and that's not how I am at all. I thought it might be my liver or something but I OD'd last year and they checked all that and I don't have hep C or anything wrong with me. I was wanting to know if anyone else has had similar experiences or know someone who has. Any feedback or infomation would be greatly appreciated. I know I obviously need to stay away from these drugs but I want to know what has caused such a drastic change in my behaviour. It is really scary, I could have cut an artery and bled out while in one of these blackout states or hurt someone else besides myself. Anyone have any information or know anybody else this kinfd of thing has happened to please let me know.

 

[benzoman12345]

I have no idea what has caused these things to happen to you pal, hopefully someone here will be able to help, the only sensible thing I can say is I think you should get yourself back on the Methadone programme ASAP and tell a medical professional everything you have just wrote on here, good luck.

 

[Feelin-u4ia]

yeah dude its not worth your life bro, I dont want to see you "stop posting" one day.. get back on a high dose of methadone and just chill on that dude, i promise you life is great and worth living... i think its your body or god, or something else telling you to stop best of luck, let us know

 

[MorganTN]

SWIM is only 26, but has been using hard for about ten years. SWIM is was like you, always the one getting up and wanting to do tings after rigging or whatever. As time went on though, the blackouts got worse and worse. SWIM overdosed/blacked out 4 times in 2013 alone. I believe that the older you get, the more repercussions are taken. There is no such thing as free pleasure in this world, and minus the price of purchase, many drugs promise bliss. This bliss always come to a price sooner or later. Doing painkillers for a long time can really wreck not only your physical brain and mental state but your body as well. I had 16 kidney stones in about 2 years, the first of which when I was 18. All that filler thats in pills that gets shoved up noses, all the horrible stuff that dope is cut with that gets spiked, it all has a toll. Even the Methadone, SWIM took it for almost 2 years and it was one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made. All of it can affect your cardiovascular system, your kidneys, your liver, your ability to fight infections, etc. There are too many reasons to list why you could be in this condition, but considering how long this has been going on, I am not completely surprised. It is never too late to try a short term maintenance, Suboxone can work wonders if you only use it for 4-6 weeks. Even if your using, you can always hit a meeting to find some support, I have heard a lot of stories like this in the rooms (honestly I hate 12 step meetings but you can pick up some good friends and valuable lessons there, you just work a program the way you want to) , and I can only hope that you can fix it before it's too late, because it's never too late to try and take charge of things, regardless of what damage has been done already.

 

[junkieblues]

SWIM is only 26, but has been using hard for about ten years. SWIM is was like you, always the one getting up and wanting to do tings after rigging or whatever. As time went on though, the blackouts got worse and worse. SWIM overdosed/blacked out 4 times in 2013 alone. I believe that the older you get, the more repercussions are taken. There is no such thing as free pleasure in this world, and minus the price of purchase, many drugs promise bliss. This bliss always come to a price sooner or later. Doing painkillers for a long time can really wreck not only your physical brain and mental state but your body as well. I had 16 kidney stones in about 2 years, the first of which when I was 18. All that filler thats in pills that gets shoved up noses, all the horrible stuff that dope is cut with that gets spiked, it all has a toll. Even the Methadone, SWIM took it for almost 2 years and it was one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made. All of it can affect your cardiovascular system, your kidneys, your liver, your ability to fight infections, etc. There are too many reasons to list why you could be in this condition, but considering how long this has been going on, I am not completely surprised. It is never too late to try a short term maintenance, Suboxone can work wonders if you only use it for 4-6 weeks. Even if your using, you can always hit a meeting to find some support, I have heard a lot of stories like this in the rooms (honestly I hate 12 step meetings but you can pick up some good friends and valuable lessons there, you just work a program the way you want to) , and I can only hope that you can fix it before it's too late, because it's never too late to try and take charge of things, regardless of what damage has been done already.

Thanks for the input everybody. MorganTN, you obviously have a lot of similar things going on with SWIM having the same kind of things that have happened to me. I have been to rehab and detoxed with subone while there a couple of years ago and when I was on methadone, that was the hardest kick or at the least the longest kick I have ever been through, it lasted 3-4 weeks before I started to feel any better. I agree it is my body maybe trying to stop me from OD'ing again and telling me I have to quit before it kills me, but I do wish I knew exactly what has caused this to happen. Anyone else please give me more feedback so I might undderstand the actual exact reason I'm going through this change. Thanks for input.

 

[Dysphoric]

SWIM

We don't use that here. Knock it off.

OT: Get back into treatment and consider quitting down the road.