Mental Health Psychosis

[5StarSquatHotel]

What exactly is it? I was diagnosed with what they are calling just 'psychosis' and this was 9 months ago, that's when it got really bad. Its not stimulant psychosis because I do not and have not touched stims or any other drugs for over a year -other than a handful of times and organic compounds.
What is wrong with me and why is it worse off drugs? Getting off drugs and having a seizure/fit is what triggered it and ramped up all my problems. I don't sleep now unless I smoke puff and it does not take long for the lack of sleep to catch up and make things worse. In the past year I have not had more than 2 hour broken sleep a night unless I get stoned. I don't want to smoke, I just want to be chemical free and be able to sleep.
I have tried nearly every new generation anti psychotic and anti depressant there is and none help and make things worse if anything. The side effects are too much and those with diagnosed untreated adhd and psychosis make sleep impossible and the less I sleep the worse I become.
What do you do when the medication does not work and makes you even iller? Am I going to get worse before I get better? They don't know what to do with me and I don't know what to do with myself. I don't want any more drugs or addictions of any kind, I am done with that. Thanks for reading, any thoughts welcomed and appreciated.

 

[Shrooms00087]

So what is your problem with marijuana? Marijuana helps with seizures and by your own admission, sleep. These are important. If you do not want anti-depressants, nor anti-psychotics, this leaves little room, other than you must reconstitute your own Awe and Beauty in life. In terms of the psychosis you did not go into it that too much. But with psychosis there are numerous things you can do, mentally. Pick a fancy in terms of mythology or religion that helps you examine the Self.

A really good starting book:
Perenial Philosophy, Huxley

 

[Jerry Atrick]

At one point in my life I felt I did not need the medications that doctors were prescribing me. Darkinthepark, have you given meds time to work? You say the meds don't work but you do not say how long you have tried the meds.

Eventually it became very simple for me. I learned the hard way that I could either take meds and live or not take meds and die. I hope you never get to that point but it sounds to me like no matter how hard you've had it up to now, you prolly still have not hit rock bottom. I'm sure you'll know it if you get there and once you do, please do the world a favor and take your fucking medicine.

 

[sam05]

psychosis: when you question reality, is this reality real or am i dreaming, shit gets crazy. cant be too bad if u r not needing medication daily.

 

[Shrooms00087]

They used to call people with psychosis mystics and some of them went on to do produce some fine religious dramas

So for God Sake's take it easy on yourself. If you do not want drugs that target your dopamine and have detrimental effects over-time then it's about watching your balance.

 

[5StarSquatHotel]

Shrooms, my problem is its still a form of chemical dependency although the lesser of evils compared with most other meds. If I had a decent free supply of the stuff and it was legal it would not be so much of a problem but that's not the case unfortunately. I have been exploring the spiritual side of things and will def check that book out, thank you. I hope I find my balance soon.

Jerry I have tried each anti psychotic for weeks if not months and the side effects just become to much and I see little of the positive effects, not enough to make it worthwhile taking as the side effects are vile and I cant cope. I hope I have hit rock bottem as I cant get much lower than this. I would love for the tablets to work but they don't, why take tablets that don't work and cause nothing but suffering?

Sam this is the problem, reality is what you perceive it to be. Who really knows what the true reality of things are or do we compare ourselves to 'average' people?

Cheers for the input guys, appreciate it. I need to take a bit of a time out to asses things and sort my head out.

 

[Survival0200]

It took me a long time to fully recover from my psychosis - long time and different meds. I would recommend seeing a pshychiatrist frequently (unless it's bad enough to apply for hospital) and to take the meds he prescribes.

 

[Freddie Tacos]

you need to go tell everything you just posted, to your doctor. you may want to avoid any psychoactive drugs. I was addicted to cocaine for 8 years. after about 2-3 months of doing it almost everyday, I started to develop paranoid psychosis when ever I used, no matter the purity or amount. after a year of being hooked on coke, I tried crack. The paranoia went away for awhile, then I started smoking around a half ounce a weekend. I got to the point where I was terrified on it, i'm mean it was a total paranoid nightmare, audio hallucination's, visual also. I was convinced the police would breakdown my door at any second, every time I smoked. I quit in January 2008. 4 years later, I started having paranoid psychosis episodes, completely sober. During these times, the only difference between the sober paranoid psychosis and the drug induces ones, where my pupils and my clenched jaw. Other than that, I had every symptom of drug induced paranoia, sweating, whispering, hiding, constantly walking from room to room, making sure know body got in. This happened to me 5 times in 3 years, last on being 2 years ago.

I started smoking medical grade marijuana daily and haven't had a non-drug nduced episode again

be

 

[Shrooms00087]

Sam this is the problem, reality is what you perceive it to be. Who really knows what the true reality of things are or do we compare ourselves to 'average' people?

Cheers for the input guys, appreciate it. I need to take a bit of a time out to asses things and sort my head out.

Why are you seeking Truth in reality? You could quite as easily use that desire to focus the lens on the Self. Besides how can you begin to comprehend that which is without (the external world, reality) --without knowing the Self. If mystery isn't your thing, practing quiteness of the mind and tongue are great techniques of conquering lesser emotions. It all will take quite a bit of skill and practice.

I wish you the best in the rest of your quest my friend. As far as the legalization of marijuana is concerned, do as you will and try to take part in resistance movements.

 

[Jerry Atrick]

Jerry I have tried each anti psychotic for weeks if not months and the side effects just become to much and I see little of the positive effects, not enough to make it worthwhile taking as the side effects are vile and I cant cope. I hope I have hit rock bottem as I cant get much lower than this. I would love for the tablets to work but they don't, why take tablets that don't work and cause nothing but suffering?

I'm not trying to sound condescending but I struggled with psychosis for several years and have been medicated for over a decade. The very fact that you are on BL making coherent sentences about your treatment cause me to believe that you aren't quite there yet. This isn't a competition. I'm saying I have learned from experience and have been where you are and worse. The people on here telling you to see your doc about changing meds are the ones giving the best advice.

If the tablets don't work, change tablets. Quitting altogether will only make the matter worse. That being said, "weeks if not months" is normally not long enough to let the side effects work themselves out. Believe it or not, thinking the meds don't work is common phenomenon and it often leads people to look for excuses to not take their meds. Like I said, you are on this forum writing sentences that make sense and you are aware enough of yourself to think the meds aren't working.

The funny thing is that the meds are what make us able to write sentences and make sense and most importantly, be self-aware.

What surprises me is that your doctor is not being persuasive enough in keeping you on a pill long enough for the side effects to go away on their own momentum. Do you think I haven't experienced side effects before? Shit, I've had them all at one point or another. Exaggerations aside, it can often take several months for a tablet to quit giving bothersome side effects. Maybe a new doctor or at least a second opinion would benefit you.

 

[treezy z]

i've been diagnosed as psychotic, schizoaffective, criminally insane etc. spent a couple years in a forensic hospital over an insanity plea. fuck these meds though i'm gonna stop taking this shit.

 

[Jerry Atrick]

i've been diagnosed as psychotic, schizoaffective, criminally insane etc. spent a couple years in a forensic hospital over an insanity plea. fuck these meds though i'm gonna stop taking this shit.

You must enjoy living in hospitals because that's the best way to end up back there. Or dead on the streets. But who cares about all the other people affected by our behavior?

 

[Shrooms00087]

The funny thing is that the meds are what make us able to write sentences and make sense and most importantly, be self-aware.

I'm sorry but I have to object to this in whole heart. We're talking about psychosis and treatments for psychosis which does NOT do this. The medications target and lower your Dopamine which does not help you write sentences, make sense, nor be self-aware. As a matter of fact "cognition" is IF the Dopamine is being raised like ADHD medication. Which is not true for the psychotic/anti-bipolar medication(s). It's more likely that anti-psychotics/bi-polar medication just lower how much you CARE about your overall symptoms until your brain reincorporates a fruitful reality (in terms of psychosis)

 

[Jerry Atrick]

I'm sorry but I have to object to this in whole heart. We're talking about psychosis and treatments for psychosis which does NOT do this. The medications target and lower your Dopamine which does not help you write sentences, make sense, nor be self-aware. As a matter of fact "cognition" is IF the Dopamine is being raised like ADHD medication. Which is not true for the psychotic/anti-bipolar medication(s). It's more likely that anti-psychotics/bi-polar medication just lower how much you CARE about your overall symptoms until your brain reincorporates a fruitful reality (in terms of psychosis)

Have you ever experienced catatonia? When I did I could not make sentences or make sense, you know why? I could not speak. Not only was I unable to speak, I would spend days at a time not able to get out of bed or even open my eyes for that matter.

So you found a sentence you disagree with....whatever. Tell us about your experiences with psychosis and how hugging trees cured you.

 

[Shrooms00087]

No one suggested hugging tree's. No one suggested not to do the drugs you may be prescribed. In fact, in-line with the topic he/she said that he/she did not want to take the drugs prescribed. Also, isn't catatonia its own class, like schizophrenia? Whereas psychosis is an underlying condition that spans within several spectrums?

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

^psychosis and catatonia are both symptomatic of schizophrenia

You must enjoy living in hospitals because that's the best way to end up back there. Or dead on the streets. But who cares about all the other people affected by our behavior?

At one point in my life I felt I did not need the medications that doctors were prescribing me. Darkinthepark, have you given meds time to work? You say the meds don't work but you do not say how long you have tried the meds.

Eventually it became very simple for me. I learned the hard way that I could either take meds and live or not take meds and die. I hope you never get to that point but it sounds to me like no matter how hard you've had it up to now, you prolly still have not hit rock bottom. I'm sure you'll know it if you get there and once you do, please do the world a favor and take your fucking medicine.

What you say really resonates

 

[Jerry Atrick]

What you say really resonates

Thank you for saying that. It really does mean a lot when someone understands.

It seems like every other day someone is on this forum thinking they don't need the very medication that could potentially give their life back if they would just give it a chance. I am not the same person I was before my illness hit and I am okay with that. People change, sick or not.

And I am not saying all medications and treatments are good. The side effects of drugs like Invega Sustenna terrify me and I would advocate for someone on that drug to ask for an alternative. Don't even get me started on ECT or shock treatment. This practice is barbaric IMO and should be thrown out of the MH system altogether.

Schizophrenia and Schizoaffective Disorder are diseases, they do not go away like the common cold. There is no cure. There is only the suppression of symptoms by way of various medications. If a person has diabetes, they do not think twice about taking their insulin and watching their diet otherwise they can and will die. Why wouldn't someone with a mental illness not want to get better. It baffles me.

The only way I was able to finally allow myself to be convinced that the meds were the way to go was when I started observing the effects of my behavior on my friends and family. I was so self-consumed in my symptoms that I had not realized that they were watching me self-destruct and it hurt them. At that point, I no longer cared if I hurt myself but I hated seeing them hurt. I've said it before that when we are off meds and wrapped up in our symptoms, we tend to be very selfish and self-absorbed. Often people don't like hearing that they are self-absorbed but that is only because deep down, they know it is the truth. When you can stop and think about how our own actions and behaviors affect other people, only then can you realize that maybe finding a way to safely suppress your symptoms ain't so bad.

Anyways, I'll get off my soapbox now. Thanks for listening.

 

[Shrooms00087]

^psychosis and catatonia are both symptomatic of schizophrenia

You reversed and still reaffirmed what I had said. My point was psychosis isn't always schizophrenia and certainly doesn't mean you must take anti-psychotics after having been diagnosed as having psychosis which is what this topic is about. Doctors in America are very quick to shell out life-long medications.

It is really dangerous to implant fear to a person diagnosed with Psychosis

Things like

I hope you never get to that point but it sounds to me like no matter how hard you've had it up to now, you prolly still have not hit rock bottom. I'm sure you'll know it if you get there and once you do, please do the world a favor and take your fucking medicine.

You must enjoy living in hospitals because that's the best way to end up back there. Or dead on the streets.

And to Jerry and your curiosity as to my psychosis, it would be too long of a story, but I will tell you the rhetoric above was used on me by doctors and I haven't had the need for any anti-psychotics, nor fear of relapse. Or maybe hugging trees is the correct statement.

 

[Jerry Atrick]

I must have overlooked this post.

No one suggested hugging tree's. No one suggested not to do the drugs you may be prescribed. In fact, in-line with the topic he/she said that he/she did not want to take the drugs prescribed.

Sorry about the hugging trees thing. I only know enough about the primitive use of psychedelics to get me into trouble. I had to re-read this thread. For one thing you are taking what I say to other posters out of context with the conversation you and I were having on the side. Anyways, I'm not a psychiatrist and I'm assuming you are not either. All I have to draw from are my own experiences as a person with mental illness and I am also a social worker. So I can say with a clear conscience that in my own personal experience, the OP of this thread needs to stabilize BEFORE they consider going the med-free route you have suggested as an alternative. The quickest and safest way to stabilize is to take the meds as prescribed. Then again, my cards are on the table and you are still refusing to tell your story.

Also, isn't catatonia its own class, like schizophrenia? Whereas psychosis is an underlying condition that spans within several spectrums?

No, what Ho Chi Minh said was more accurate. Catatonia is not its own class like schizophrenia. It is one of many symptoms of schizophrenia but is not on equal footing in the Holy DSM.

 

[Jerry Atrick]

You reversed and still reaffirmed what I had said. My point was psychosis isn't always schizophrenia and certainly doesn't mean you must take anti-psychotics after having been diagnosed as having psychosis which is what this topic is about. Doctors in America are very quick to shell out life-long medications.

At this point you and I are pretty much talking past ourselves. I agree that psychosis is not always schizophrenia. I also know that most people who experience psychosis will only experience it once in their lifetime. That is why it is so important to nip it in the bud early on with the proper meds than to let it continue to spiral downward. The problem is, and like the OP confessed, many people do not give doctor-prescribed meds enough time to work. They get a couple of side-effects and they think it's the end of the world. The OP is clearly changing medications too often but that's a conversation I already had.

It is really dangerous to implant fear to a person diagnosed with Psychosis

What you call fear I call tough love. If you do not understand that I am trying to help the OP then please stop trying to undermine everything I say without at least anecdotal evidence about your own experiences. If you are going to rely on us to tell our stories and not carry your weight in the thread, then maybe you should kindly find the exit door

As dangerous as you claim it may be to give someone a little kick in the pants, it is more dangerous to implant false hope in whatever methods you used to cure your illness. At least let them get stabilized with meds before we talk about going without meds. Not all medications are life-long as you say.

it would be too long of a story

cop out

but I will tell you the rhetoric above was used on me by doctors and I haven't had the need for any anti-psychotics, nor fear of relapse.

I understand why we were talking past each other and it is prolly because we have different diagnoses as well as experiences in general. I was diagnosed with psychosis very early on and tried but could not live without meds. The several-year period of trying to live without meds was also the worse period of darkness in my life that eventually got me tagged with schizoaffective disorder. You're right that fear is not always good for someone experiencing psychosis. However its the only thing that worked for me. Had my stubborn ass given the meds time to work early on, I may not have received the diagnosis I ended up with.

So good on you for making it without doctor-prescribed medications. I couldn't do it so I now have a never-ending prescription. At least I am stable and I too am confident that as long as I continue my daily ritual of one multivitamin and two pills, I will not relapse.