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Knocks funeral - who's with me?

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Swarm

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Feb 1, 2012
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I've already booked my coach tickets etc... who else is with me.
 
I have done several such tributes to knock already and hadn't really considered making the funeral due to work, no money, living right on the fucking south coast! etc But something came over me, I thought fuck it we need to do this thing right. I got no accomodation booked but i think the coaches work out so i won't have to spend the night on the streets anyhow. I'm more concerned with the "who the fuck are you aspect". They probaby won't even let me in. Fuck it though. I have 30 years of poorly thought out misadventures under my belt and it seems that the rate of these is unlikely to slow appreciably any time soon. In a sense, this insane one man mission to get beaten up by a bunch of angry scotts is what Swarm specialises in.
 
Thanks ismene, in fact haven't heard from you in a while. have you been about much?
 
Swarm said:
I have done several such tributes to knock already and hadn't really considered making the funeral due to work, no money, living right on the fucking south coast! etc

That's some way to go for a funeral to someone you only know online.

Did you know Knock outside of here? or were you just very close online?
 
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My hats off to ya swarm....I wish I could...but I've got the mighty atlantlic in between and this god forsaken farm demanding me...

Good luck. Pay my respects <3
 
a bunch of angry scotts

NSFW:
Scott+Weiland.jpg
 
I'm more concerned with the "who the fuck are you aspect". They probaby won't even let me in. Fuck it though. I have 30 years of poorly thought out misadventures under my belt and it seems that the rate of these is unlikely to slow appreciably any time soon. In a sense, this insane one man mission to get beaten up by a bunch of angry scotts is what Swarm specialises in.

Poorly-thought-out misadventures are all well and good. Showing up at a near-stranger's funeral and making a scene is something else entirely, however good your intentions may be.

I know knock wasn't a near-stranger, but to his family and close friends, that's what you are. There's every chance they'll be touched by your gesture, don't get me wrong. There's also a good chance that they'll be wondering exactly what your relationship with their son was, and whether it had any bearing on whatever happened to him. Which, if it were drug-related (as it very possibly was) will only heighten theirsense of suspicion toward Michael's mysterious internet friends.

A few years back, an EADD mod / smod called Evad (Dave) died tragically young, having personally met most of the forum and being on familiar terms with everybody else. Dave was EADD, pretty much. I only knew him for a short time but I was gutted when he died. Yet the funeral was kept as an occasion for his family, his friends from home and a few BLers who were real-life friends. I think that was the right way to handle it.

Your call, and pay your respects as you wish. I don't think knock would really mind you not turning up though. I don't think he was really one for formalities such as funerals, and I'm sure he'd be just as happy were you to light a fire and raise a glass.

Up to you. :)
 
I do think Sammy G makes a good point. Knock was one of my closest friends on this website but I don't think I would go to his funeral even if I weren't seperated by a 24 hour trip, just because I'd be afraid of interfering with his family and IRL friends. Only BL'er whose funeral I wish I could have gone to was pontifex's, and that's because I did know him outside of this website. That being said, I think it's a wonderful gesture on your part, and in any case I'm positive whoever attends the funeral will be touched that you're there as well. I hope it gives you some closure.
 
Am fully aware of the points made by sammy ande pagey. However, this feels right to me and since I know knock on a first and last name basis I think that I'll be fine. I'm gonna turn up suited and booted as i do for all funeral's, not wearing some fuck off BL tea shirt. To be honest, whether i'm inside the building or not doesn't bother me that much. I just want to be up there in scotland where knock lived to pay my respects. It feels right to me and that's all that matters. Plus I have a way with people when i need to, maybe that doesn't always come across on line but i just do.

If anyone there guinely seems to want to know where i knew him from my off the top of my head response was that we worked together at citibank and have stayed in touch since. If you act right though people don't even ask this type of stuff.

@ rass 2012

You know I didn't know Michael outside of BL. However, I felt it was only a matter of time. We shared similar sleeping patterns so we shared many a conversation at 4 am on some obscure thread that no one else was probably even paying attention too. We were BL "friend's" for well over a year before he passed, however, i only think that we really grew close in the last 6 months or so. This was after I kicked drugs entirely about 8 months back, which was necessary as I had not really been effectively able to communicate with people for a good while up until that point. If you look through the RIP thread you'll see posts from other's who observed that i would have taken Michael's death particularly hard.

As for the money, with what most of us spend on drugs, an £80 round coach trip is fuck all!
 
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^Swarm, I hope you didn't think I was encouraging you not to go, I was just giving my own opinion. If that's what feels right to you then by all means, pay your respects to knock in that manner - I'm positive it would have meant a lot to him and I think it's great you're doing it.
 
Fair enough - let your conscience be your guide. :)

I suppose if you work hard on not giving off any druggy vibes then that counts for a lot. Though they may well ask questions which force you to be vague or evasive. They may even think you were a secret lover (you weren't, were you?).

If you're prepared to face all the possibilities then I suppose there's nothing anyone could say. It's not something I'd feel comfortable doing, having 'known' knock for about four years or so, but if you feel it's right, that's what counts I guess.
 
Im sure Swarm aint going to turn up off his tits wearing neon blowing wistles...!

Of all the funerals of young friends ive attended there has been loads of people there, im sure Knocks will be the same. Swarm will just blend into the rest.

Good on ya...!
 
Nice on for doing this Swarm. Fair play mate. I agree with ScotchMist a lot of people attend funerals and everyone doesn't know everybody else so I think you will blend in.

That said though (and your a clever guy so I'm sure this has already occurred to you so I hope this doesn't come across as patronising) If you get chatting to someone I wouldn't openly advertise Bluelight. If his parents and friends didn't already know about his involvement in BL it's probably best kept that way.

Anyway I hope you get some closure and pay our respects on our behalf and let us know how it went when you get back.

<3
 
Didn't Swampy or someone detail that knock's family stipulated ALL were welcome? Sure I saw Swampy write that somewhere.

If I could get out of commitments, I'd go with you Swarm.

I wouldn't entertain any naysayers for a second longer.

I organised my mum's funeral late last year and I think you'll be fine. Frankly, I'm chuffed that someone from EADD is going, so big hugs for that. <3

Will PM you for a little favour in the next 2 days too, if I may.

Didn't the 2nd to last BL donations drive only manage to scrape £300 for the whole site amount? Knock's MS charity donation is gonna kick that out the park. Says a lot that.
 
I wouldn't entertain any naysayers for a second longer.

I organised my mum's funeral late last year and I think you'll be fine. Frankly, I'm chuffed that someone from EADD is going, so big hugs for that. <3

Sorry you lost your mum recently Marms, I didn't know til a friend mentioned it just yesterday. My condolences!

Also, I'm with you, ignore the negatives, you're doing a good thing Swarm. I couldn't handle it, it wouldn't be right either really :( nor could I afford it or anything...

But you're doing a good thing, Swarm, respect where it's due! <3
 
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