Stargazer
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2013
- Messages
- 1,673
Yesterday, I did X for the first time in a few years, and for the first time in crystal form, rather than pill form. Being that it has been awhile, and I never did it in crystal form, I went slow. I think, all together, I did a gram yesterday. But started w a 1/2 gram spread out...and nothing really happened...other than I got edgy. I kept on putting small amounts in my mouth, then chasing them down w green tea. I'd wait in between an hour on more. I had the "rather safe than sorry approach"...
After nothing happened w a 1/2 gram- I mean nothing, I actually went to sleep for two hours.
Then, being that I had planned this, I wanted to experience it. I got another gram, that I split w my husband. Thank God, I did have people I love and trust around me...that have rolling experience too....My husband, and two friends.
When I got the second half a gram, I just put it all in my mouth at once, and swallowed it. Obviously doing it in small parts didn't work. My husband went upstairs, as he was feeling good from the first half gram and was in the office, I was in the kitchen downstairs w my two friends. After I swallowed a half gram, I was sitting and talking, listening to some music...I even forgot about taking it, as I really didn't think anything was going to happen.
Then....I started to feel something mildly. I could tell my heart was working harder, and my head felt a little strange...I said "I'm starting to feel something..." then, withing seconds...I felt like I was on lift-off in a rocket that was going a thousand miles an hour. I was shaking really hard. My arms, hands, head, body.... when I looked at my two friends, they were "wiggling", as if their image was wiggling. My one friend's hair is colored a bright red, and I could see the color outlined around her head...I kept saying, from what I remember, "this is really intense and overwhelming"...in a way I didn't like...yet oddly, I wasn't scared or panicking. I found that odd, given all of the physical symptoms I was experiencing. One of my friends went upstairs and told my husband "your wife is roling" and he came down...I had all three of them sitting across the table from me just looking at me. My girlfriend kept re-assuring me I was alright, etc. And if she thought anything was really wrong, she'd have me in her car. She told me afterwards she didn't want to say "the hospital" or "overdose" at the time. Her saying all that re-assuring stuff, helped alot. These are people I know love me dearly, and would not allow anything to happen to me. Their faces were calm. I was looking for any kind of micro-expressions to see if they were scared, and I didn't see any, so that honestly did help...my girlfriend, came over at one point, and hugged me, and said, "it's ok". It didn't feel like it at the time...at all.
Then, I felt like I was underwater...like everything was far away...my hearing, my vision. the hard shaking/trembling continued. I mean, this feeling was intense...after what felt like a long time of going through all of that, the shaking stopped. And I felt sooo under the influence in an almost sedated way. I said "I am so f'd up"....My husband told me I kept saying "Wow..." alot....I remember trying to stop myself from shaking so hard. I'd close my eyes, and try to get my breathing under control....it didn't work. The shaking etc. didn't end, until it ended...if that makes any sense. It was a hard rush. Harder than I've ever felt in my life, other than when I shot coke once.
My friend had to go give a friend a ride a home, and said she and her boyfriend would be back. When she left, I was counting the minutes until she came back and afraid she wouldn't...but she did. We sat in my kitchen, I had candles lit, nice lighting. But, after the feeling of being strongly under the influence wore off, that was it.
I didn't get that "meth" feeling...of loving everyone so much...all that good stuff. I actually slept for about an hour too. I have no idea why. My husband got off but I didn't. He didn't go through that intense rush either. I'm not on anti-depressants...so, maybe that's just how I react?
It was still one damn intense rush looking back....as I said, it felt like I was being propelled in a rocket, and waiting to be shot out of the tunnel...to the next level. The next level didn't happen though. Wow. I won't forget what that felt like for a long time to come.
After nothing happened w a 1/2 gram- I mean nothing, I actually went to sleep for two hours.
Then, being that I had planned this, I wanted to experience it. I got another gram, that I split w my husband. Thank God, I did have people I love and trust around me...that have rolling experience too....My husband, and two friends.
When I got the second half a gram, I just put it all in my mouth at once, and swallowed it. Obviously doing it in small parts didn't work. My husband went upstairs, as he was feeling good from the first half gram and was in the office, I was in the kitchen downstairs w my two friends. After I swallowed a half gram, I was sitting and talking, listening to some music...I even forgot about taking it, as I really didn't think anything was going to happen.
Then....I started to feel something mildly. I could tell my heart was working harder, and my head felt a little strange...I said "I'm starting to feel something..." then, withing seconds...I felt like I was on lift-off in a rocket that was going a thousand miles an hour. I was shaking really hard. My arms, hands, head, body.... when I looked at my two friends, they were "wiggling", as if their image was wiggling. My one friend's hair is colored a bright red, and I could see the color outlined around her head...I kept saying, from what I remember, "this is really intense and overwhelming"...in a way I didn't like...yet oddly, I wasn't scared or panicking. I found that odd, given all of the physical symptoms I was experiencing. One of my friends went upstairs and told my husband "your wife is roling" and he came down...I had all three of them sitting across the table from me just looking at me. My girlfriend kept re-assuring me I was alright, etc. And if she thought anything was really wrong, she'd have me in her car. She told me afterwards she didn't want to say "the hospital" or "overdose" at the time. Her saying all that re-assuring stuff, helped alot. These are people I know love me dearly, and would not allow anything to happen to me. Their faces were calm. I was looking for any kind of micro-expressions to see if they were scared, and I didn't see any, so that honestly did help...my girlfriend, came over at one point, and hugged me, and said, "it's ok". It didn't feel like it at the time...at all.
Then, I felt like I was underwater...like everything was far away...my hearing, my vision. the hard shaking/trembling continued. I mean, this feeling was intense...after what felt like a long time of going through all of that, the shaking stopped. And I felt sooo under the influence in an almost sedated way. I said "I am so f'd up"....My husband told me I kept saying "Wow..." alot....I remember trying to stop myself from shaking so hard. I'd close my eyes, and try to get my breathing under control....it didn't work. The shaking etc. didn't end, until it ended...if that makes any sense. It was a hard rush. Harder than I've ever felt in my life, other than when I shot coke once.
My friend had to go give a friend a ride a home, and said she and her boyfriend would be back. When she left, I was counting the minutes until she came back and afraid she wouldn't...but she did. We sat in my kitchen, I had candles lit, nice lighting. But, after the feeling of being strongly under the influence wore off, that was it.
I didn't get that "meth" feeling...of loving everyone so much...all that good stuff. I actually slept for about an hour too. I have no idea why. My husband got off but I didn't. He didn't go through that intense rush either. I'm not on anti-depressants...so, maybe that's just how I react?
It was still one damn intense rush looking back....as I said, it felt like I was being propelled in a rocket, and waiting to be shot out of the tunnel...to the next level. The next level didn't happen though. Wow. I won't forget what that felt like for a long time to come.
Last edited by a moderator:
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
