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I Feel Invisible on Here

matt<3ketamine

matt<3ketamine

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 15, 2010
Messages
3,016
Location
at the bottom of your bag of k
:(
hmmm, well as the title suggests, i just feel invisible here, i feel ignored alot, this is EADD i am talking about, i dont know if its my style of writing, humour or im just not posting useful information for anyone, anymore.
ive spoke about it a few times there, sometimes even no response there and now i dont like doing it and have reduced how much i bother to speak, i hope i have never said anything wrong :\ (never been warned)
does anyone else get this? i have started to feel like this in real life, but really, i feel incredibly happy that even a small few responses ive got, are now good mates of mine, the friends i do have in real life are very near and dear to me, these are the kind of people i have discussed whatever problems i may have had/are going through.i joined here and it was great back then even though i havent been here for all that long compared to some, i pm people and never get a response, even wet as far to post a thread and nada, i feel as if im being troublesome if i ask about it aswell but im really just getting down about everything and have been for ages now, i need it sorted .

now recently i have been addicted to opiates severely and its getting into my head even easier, i know once i get off that it will also get incredibly bad before it gets better, does anyone have any good recommendations for getting past this or making it easier, i do smoke weed and it helps a fair bit but im not very social in real life when i am very baked so preferably i dont rely on that and i hate stims so dont have that choice, benzos really dont help, or am i just being a whinge and should stfu, all advice welcome 8(
 
It could very well be just the forum that you're posting on. I know EADD and The Lounge can be tough on posters. It's not something I'd worry about too much especially since you have good friends offline. Sometimes we can get so caught up in our online lives that we forget that there's other aspects of life as well that still need to be nourished. Taking a break from the Internet or a forum can sometimes be extremely refreshing and can help to put things into perspective.
 
Don't let it get you down matt<3. I felt the same a few years ago (in AusDD) and took a long break from the forums as I didn't feel a connection to it. There's a lot of things that affect the ebb and flow of people posting in various places and you have no reason to think that it's you.

While you may not feel welcome in EADD you may feel more comfortable in a different sub-forum, be it here, one of the focus forums or one of the community ones. Just like life it may take a little while to find where you fit best.
 
Hi Matt and welcome. Sometimes when we start to have a perception (even moreso when it is a worrisome one) we start to make it an ironclad reality in our heads because we pay attention to everything that supports it and ignore what doesn't. I've only been here for two years and moderating a little less but I notice how arbitrary it seems sometimes which threads get responded to the most, which get the quickest responses etc and I haven't figured anything out at all--I think it is just random actually. I think it is far easier to gauge the status of IRL relationships than it is online. Online conversations are just too subject to too many unseen factors.

I think you will find some really good help here in terms of getting off the opiates--hopefully with a minimum of other drugs to get you through. Are you tapering or have you just made the decision to quit but haven't actually started yet?

Jump into SL and get to know some of the folks that are dealing with their own daily struggles to get off opiates. There is nothing like shared experience to create a bond. I look forward to getting to know you.<3
 
thanks very much for the replys, they are very appreciated! i think maybe a break from that forum and getting active in other parts may well help, cheers

@herbavore - i made the decision to get off opiates a few months ago but have been getting messed about by doctors when trying for a subutex detox, ive done a diazapam taper but i expect this taper to be a touch more difficult, i shall get onto the other subforums and get some advice once tapering has started, here has help so much with ideas for coping with withdrawl, i am in good hands id say :)

cheers <3
 
Hey Matt, spotted your post so thought I would chime in as a regular poster in EADD. There has been a bit of hostility in the EADD section recently with a clash of personalities so people weren't chatting as much in general. That and a lot of the threads were being constantly taken off track (which has been addressed) so you may see a bit of a difference if you were to post again.

I certainly have never seen anything that you have posted that would have caused offense - usually if something offensive is said it's picked up on straight away, the person is questioned and things get back to 'normal'. Not really sure of anyone that holds such a 'grudge' or a group mentality (click) that excludes anyone.

Good luck with the taper :)

Bear
 
Hey matt_K I've not been around EADD much of late and I'm somewhat surprised by your post as you were always a active and positive influence in that corner of BL. That said I think i know a little of what you are feeling, after a spell away (or at least not posting much) it felt like my posts were invisible and those I had known well didn’t seem to respond either.

On reflection I don't think any of this was a conscious thing on other peoples part, although I may have seen it that way. It just takes persistence to break into the close knit core of such forums, you've been around EADD you know how that works;)

Take a break form the place if it's getting you down, there are some truly outstanding and interesting people over here in the support forums, and we need more engagement from the Europe / UK.

For once i'll take the initiate and drop you a PM later.

Best Wishes
 
matt<3ketamine said:
:(
hmmm, well as the title suggests, i just feel invisible here, i feel ignored alot, this is EADD i am talking about, i dont know if its my style of writing, humour or im just not posting useful information for anyone, anymore.
ive spoke about it a few times there, sometimes even no response there and now i dont like doing it and have reduced how much i bother to speak, i hope i have never said anything wrong :\ (never been warned)
does anyone else get this? i have started to feel like this in real life, but really, i feel incredibly happy that even a small few responses ive got, are now good mates of mine, the friends i do have in real life are very near and dear to me, these are the kind of people i have discussed whatever problems i may have had/are going through.i joined here and it was great back then even though i havent been here for all that long compared to some, i pm people and never get a response, even wet as far to post a thread and nada, i feel as if im being troublesome if i ask about it aswell but im really just getting down about everything and have been for ages now, i need it sorted .

now recently i have been addicted to opiates severely and its getting into my head even easier, i know once i get off that it will also get incredibly bad before it gets better, does anyone have any good recommendations for getting past this or making it easier, i do smoke weed and it helps a fair bit but im not very social in real life when i am very baked so preferably i dont rely on that and i hate stims so dont have that choice, benzos really dont help, or am i just being a whinge and should stfu, all advice welcome 8(
Click to expand...

Hi Matt, I feel bad that you are feeling this way and that you feel ignored in EADD.I'm sure if people in there knew you felt this way then they would feel like we have let you down.
I'm gonna send you a pm and hope you see it before your break.
Edit: Hi matt just letting you know I did try to send you a pm but Bluelight is having security issues at the mo so was unable to send it. Once issue sorted I will pm you.
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/712772-Report-security-warnings-here
 
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Hey Matt, I would just like to let you know that you are always welcome here in TDS and your posts will not be ignored. Welcome to TDS <3
 
These sort of things can happen on large forums. Most times people don't really usually reply to any of my posts either but for me, that's not really why I'm here anyway. I'm here to Help?!? people and give advice to the best of ability as well as having the ocassional joke/fun here or there. So as long as my posts seemed to help someone I'm glad, this site is also good for venting, though when I do that I sort of hope no one will respond. I agree with Max though, EADD and all of bluelight is really pretty nice and accepting of almost anyone so just express your feelings and let everyone know that it hurts a bit that you seemed annoyed and that you would really love to get in on the rockin' discussions more! Hope you feel better Matt! :)

Oh and remember as well that people probably aren't ignoring you per say, EADD just seems like the sort of forum where people are all good friends, so they end up getting caught up talking to friends which might cause them to overlook other posts before their lost in the back stream of other posts.
 
Hi everyone! I'm leslie:) i have many things id like to discuss with u guys, but I'm not sure if im in the right forum. I am tapering off of methadone, and antidepressants n it sucks! I just suffered serotonin syndrome the other night n i lmost died! Im feeling so weird n im scared! Ne advice will b greatly appreciated! Ty:)
 
Hi Leslie welcome to Bluelight! That must have been frightening having serotonin syndrome. It would be good I think to start a thread so your situation can be addressed and perhaps other members have been through this. Tell us what medications and amounts you've been taking also your taper schedule. Yes you're in the right place! :)
 
I can relate to you. I feel invisible here, I felt invisible even when I was a mod for a brief period of time. Nobody noticed I went away for a long time, but that's essentialy how I've felt my entire life. I am just a ghost to everyone. I leave no lasting impression apart from: what a fucked up junkie.

I walk this world alone in darkness surrounding me. I am curious if the darkness will someday consume me.
 
^don't say that hun I definitely see you and you are not invisible to me. Not everyone is the same and there are people on here who will care for you ♡
 
synthetix said:
I can relate to you. I feel invisible here, I felt invisible even when I was a mod for a brief period of time. Nobody noticed I went away for a long time, but that's essentialy how I've felt my entire life. I am just a ghost to everyone. I leave no lasting impression apart from: what a fucked up junkie.

I walk this world alone in darkness surrounding me. I am curious if the darkness will someday consume me.
Click to expand...
I definitely feel you. No one really noticed my absence except a few friends which was refreshing but it was still only one or two people and it definitely didn't seem like they noticed purposely just on accident.

I'm virtually a ghost and probably quite soon will be one...

Darkness has been my shadow as well except I know it will consume me and it's coming quickly. At least l don't really have anything to leave behind except all my HR posts which is nice...but when your time is clocked there's nothing much to do!
 
Hiya Matt,

I am a regular member of EADD n on the whole it is a great place. At the moment we are grieving a moderator who has passed so things are tense. However, if we knew you were feeling this way we'd have all made you feel welcome. The main thread that people use in EADD is giggerings thread n usually in EADD people tend to post in ready-made threads as opposed to making their own thread.

I mean it's ok to make your own. Ive started one for people with codeine addiction which is doing fairly ok. But you really need to say something because there is a few people who post there.

Maybe spend an evening reading through what is going on n then try to post something which relates to the conversation - like you would if you were, say, joining in with a few friends' convo.

Also - as others have said there's TDS. You'll get heaps of support here n as you have here, a lot of support. I, and many others , come here as well as EADD.

You're also welcome to PM me if you want someone to talk to.

You're always welcome here at BL n I'm sincerely sorry that you felt ignored. I honestly can't say I've seen you or I'd have spoken to you.

Take care,
Evey
 
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