• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Why Quit?

L

lifeoflies

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 22, 2014
Messages
1
Quick Background: Upper middle class, although I have had some problems in the past (who hasn't) I would say I have lived a pretty privileged life. Started messing around with weed in middle school and pills in high school which led to the discovery of opiates and naturally heroin.

I am what most people would describe as an overachiever: valedictorian of high school, very active in college, the type of child parents brag to their friends about. To them everything is perfect...in the past 4-5 years they have not once suspected my use which has now progressed to dependence (although I still don't shoot up) I go back and forth from dope to subs to prevent from getting sick. My close friends know, as well as my sister and they are desperate for me to quit...the only problem is as long as I am not shooting up (which I never plan to) I don't see a reason to quit (besides financial)...As long as no one knows, why stop? Just like some people drink coffee all day I snort dope all day. Same shit right?

Dope hasn't hindered my current success in any way...if anything it has helped because I am always happy. It helps me run longer in the gym, makes me more social and just in general I love being high. So even if I stop for a while and stay on subs to prevent my parents from questioning my lack of funds in the account I know that I will go right back to it in the future. The only reason I wish I could stop sometimes is because what if one day I get a bad batch and don't wake up...that hasn't stopped me yet though. I guess I just want some input from people with experience because around here, I seem to be the ONLY person that is messing with such a 'hard' drug and they just don't get it...:\:?
 
good for you but dope ruins everyone's life eventually with you it sounds like you'll ruin your relationships with family and friends because of you're use/abuse
 
People don't quit when things are all fine and dandy... they try and quit once their life spirals out of control and they are miserable. You're clearly not there yet.. which is good for you. It can take a while for peoples drug use to get out of control and obviously detrimental, although it sounds like you have a good bit of denial already, or you wouldn't have spent the time to write this post out, trying to convince a bunch of strangers you don't have a problem with heroin... :\


But, count on this.. you keep using, within another few years of even sooner, even you wont be able to throw up enough walls of denial because your life will be so blatantly destroyed. So, if you were smart, you'd quit now before that happens. But, you won't. Nobody ever does. I didn't.
 
Mr.Scagnattie said:
People don't quit when things are all fine and dandy... they try and quit once their life spirals out of control and they are miserable. You're clearly not there yet.. which is good for you. It can take a while for peoples drug use to get out of control and obviously detrimental, although it sounds like you have a good bit of denial already, or you wouldn't have spent the time to write this post out, trying to convince a bunch of strangers you don't have a problem with heroin... :\


But, count on this.. you keep using, within another few years of even sooner, even you wont be able to throw up enough walls of denial because your life will be so blatantly destroyed. So, if you were smart, you'd quit now before that happens. But, you won't. Nobody ever does. I didn't.
Click to expand...

Exactly OP, dont wait until you encounter tons of problems due to drug use. Some of us here went through hell and back to deal with drug issues so take it from us and do your best to quit.
 
Why not quit? You're not really asking any questions so I have a few for you. What happens when the dope man runs dry? You say money is not an issue but what would will you do if your parents cut you off? You are relying on drugs to keep you happy, maybe that's why your friends don't "get it." You have the world by the ass so why do you need heroin?
 
Hiya Lifeonflies,

Sorry if I come across as preachy now but it's always a honeymoon period with drugs - that's what addicts people to them. But they turn on you and it really is best to quit before that happens. I know it's easy for me, or anyone else, to tell you this but it's the truth. As TC says above, you are asking the reason. There is a reason for you asking the question and to play devil's advocate with you, are you are happy with doing this as you think you are to be asking this question? Drugs and addiction do not just steal things like your financial, relationship, job, creditability but also your soul. It messes with your mind and can often creep up on you when you least expect it.
Please don't wait until that happens before you quit.
We're here to post away for support as often as you can / want to. Ask whatever questions you want. We'll listen and help in anyway we can. Please think on what we are saying to you, ok as it seems that almost every post here is identical which speaks volumes really.

All the best,
Evey xxxx
 
lifeoflies said:
Quick Background: Upper middle class, although I have had some problems in the past (who hasn't) I would say I have lived a pretty privileged life. Started messing around with weed in middle school and pills in high school which led to the discovery of opiates and naturally heroin.

I am what most people would describe as an overachiever: valedictorian of high school, very active in college, the type of child parents brag to their friends about. To them everything is perfect...in the past 4-5 years they have not once suspected my use which has now progressed to dependence (although I still don't shoot up) I go back and forth from dope to subs to prevent from getting sick. My close friends know, as well as my sister and they are desperate for me to quit...the only problem is as long as I am not shooting up (which I never plan to) I don't see a reason to quit (besides financial)...As long as no one knows, why stop? Just like some people drink coffee all day I snort dope all day. Same shit right?

Dope hasn't hindered my current success in any way...if anything it has helped because I am always happy. It helps me run longer in the gym, makes me more social and just in general I love being high. So even if I stop for a while and stay on subs to prevent my parents from questioning my lack of funds in the account I know that I will go right back to it in the future. The only reason I wish I could stop sometimes is because what if one day I get a bad batch and don't wake up...that hasn't stopped me yet though. I guess I just want some input from people with experience because around here, I seem to be the ONLY person that is messing with such a 'hard' drug and they just don't get it...:\:?
Click to expand...
Listen Kiddo,Im afraid Ive heard this cocky speech too many times to c minimalism ount and to be honest,have given it myself one too many times as well..I know this will most likely fall for deaf ears,but please reevaluate your life a t this point and spare yourself and your loved ones considarable heartache..
I am a combat veteran myself,I started self medicating because of the horrible flashbacks,I wish I never would have gone in the first place..truth be told.


After many many problems I got on methadone and valium wich I tapered to a minimal dosage,finished school and now have a job in finance of all places,working in a private equity fund as a proprietary trader specializing in equities and derivatives..

I digress..please heed my plea,at least give it a long hard think.

at your service.
TTZ
 
you are just trying to convince yourself thats its ok and you came here looking for some validation. Why not just try and quit? You cant rely on drugs to be happy.
 
Because if you keep doing heroin, eventually you'll get arrested and get stuck with a criminal record. It happens to most, especially the intellectuals who may lack the street smarts. And if you're an overachiever with a ton of academic/professional potential, a drug charge or two and you could find yourself in your late twenties working two retail jobs just to pay for legal fees, rent and food, and without any foreseeable way out of it. You'll be ashamed to even communicate with your contemporaries from school because you won't know what story to give them. Your family will distance itself from you because they'll see your great fall as a sign of their own failures and will be ashamed of what you've done to the family name. All of the professional, successful women you figured you'd end up with one day will make a face at you when you tell them the truth, and the only women who will want to date you will be women who will also tempt you to relapse. It's just a bad life full of shame. But as everyone else said, you're not really going to listen to us. So just be safe and post any questions on here that you may have.
 
I can think of another reason to quit and that is that you have become a liar to all those people that love and support you--that can't feel good. The sad truth is that by the time things do get out of control many of those people will be suffering right along with you.

Listen to the collective wisdom on here. Every single person had it under control in the beginning. I really hope that you can let this in.<3
 
lifeoflies said:
Quick Background: Upper middle class, although I have had some problems in the past (who hasn't) I would say I have lived a pretty privileged life. Started messing around with weed in middle school and pills in high school which led to the discovery of opiates and naturally heroin.

I am what most people would describe as an overachiever: valedictorian of high school, very active in college, the type of child parents brag to their friends about. To them everything is perfect...in the past 4-5 years they have not once suspected my use which has now progressed to dependence (although I still don't shoot up) I go back and forth from dope to subs to prevent from getting sick. My close friends know, as well as my sister and they are desperate for me to quit...the only problem is as long as I am not shooting up (which I never plan to) I don't see a reason to quit (besides financial)...As long as no one knows, why stop? Just like some people drink coffee all day I snort dope all day. Same shit right?

Dope hasn't hindered my current success in any way...if anything it has helped because I am always happy. It helps me run longer in the gym, makes me more social and just in general I love being high. So even if I stop for a while and stay on subs to prevent my parents from questioning my lack of funds in the account I know that I will go right back to it in the future. The only reason I wish I could stop sometimes is because what if one day I get a bad batch and don't wake up...that hasn't stopped me yet though. I guess I just want some input from people with experience because around here, I seem to be the ONLY person that is messing with such a 'hard' drug and they just don't get it...:\:?
Click to expand...

I know in my experience, dope literally changed the way I perceived things and cause me to build strong justifications.
It's like once you love it and have a real habit for it, it controls your mind in some ways.

It sounds like you have a serious enough habit that you are spending a significant amount of money on dope.

Do you have any breaks coming up for school ? Spring Break or something could be a good excuse to get away to a warm-weather locale and detox (provided you don't pick up heavy drinking etc..).
 
This isn't the honeymoon period. This is the point in time where you either put down the dope and live a real, wholehearted and happy life, or you fiddle with the needle and addiction - living from one shot to the other.

Why quit? Because if you don't, the so called privileged life you're living is going to become hell. Subs don't last forever. The high is never as sweet again. You will trade your life for the needle. The drugs stop working. Life however continues. There is no pause button. You'll waste away everything you know and wake up in the hell you've created for yourself, but refuse to believe.

There is no in between. You're investing your life into what you choose next. Choose wisely, you seriously don't get a second chance.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
The problem with recreational drug use is that there are just so many things that can go wrong. Health complications, legal problems, psychological dependence, financial burden, you name it. My personal opinion is that as long as your usage isn't causing issues in your life then I don't see the harm but it's just such a slippery slope. It starts out totally under control but can quickly become a crutch. I think it depends on what you are using also. Heroin is not something to mess around with. Pills are not as easy to get addicted to but the problem is that it's hard for you to see your usage objectively and it gets hard to tell the difference between casual usage and addiction. The excuses and denial can pull the wool over your eyes. You wake up one day an addict.
 
lifeoflies said:
My close friends know, as well as my sister and they are desperate for me to quit...the only problem is as long as I am not shooting up (which I never plan to) I don't see a reason to quit (besides financial)...As long as no one knows, why stop?

....Dope hasn't hindered my current success in any way...if anything it has helped because I am always happy.
Click to expand...

There's a glaring contradiction here. First you say "as long as no one knows, why stop." That's a fiction you are creating for yourself. The people who are closest to you--your sister and your close friends--do know, and are desperate for you to quit. Not just because heroin is lethal. Or because it is illegal. They are desperate because, despite the fiction you are building, they want the healthy you back.

Now, I am assuming, after reading this, that your understanding of "success" has nothing to do with honesty or virtue, because you are failing when it comes to your interpersonal relationships at the moment. These are the very relationships that you are going to need when (not if) the money runs out, the subs run dry, and your dealers get busted. Those are the people you will need to hold onto. Your accolades won't matter then. Trust me.

I've published books, taught at Universities, earned a Masters degree, and shown my artwork all over the world. I did all of that on oxy. Now, every single day when I wake up, sober, for a just a fleeting moment I imagine what I could have done had I opened my eyes and listened to the people who love me.

My advice to you is to figure out what your real priorities are. If money and the public image are what matter most? Hey, apparently you've got it all figured out. Keep the party going. But if you care about your blood, your family, and your roots, I would try to tone it down and see what life is like without the dope. Regardless of whether you're shooting or sniffing or smoking it, life is transient and fickle and beautiful. You may be comfortably numb, but you're missing out.

Good luck, and good health, whatever you choose.
 
Hiya again, lifeonflies (I posted yesterday) but just wanted to say the advice you've received before and after then is good for giving you food for thought. We, none of us, can tell you what we do - we can only advise you based on your experience / experience of seeing loved ones' addiction and what-not. We will be here for you no matter what and give you any support. But please read through all of this carefully and have a thorough think on what you are doing. It is difficult giving up the drugs but we, and your loved ones, will support you through it. If you choose to stick with the drugs for now then you won't be judged as maybe you are not ready.. We can only point out the disadvantages of continuing down the road you are going down with the drugs.

Please feel free to post with any question in regards to what we've said to you and we'll be willing to help / advise you in any way we can. You made the right decision in coming here and questioning continuation of using drugs in this way and seeking support.

Thinking of you n please take care of yourself.
Evey xxxx
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top