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Feelin-u4ia

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Sep 11, 2013
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We might die from all the medication, But we sure
Hi all! Been reading thru posts of the jab staying clean thread .. So happy to see so many getting/staying clean. I myself have been a mess, I'm always taking 3-5 days break but I just end up hitting myself with a higher dose then the previous. Worked my way up to a 900mg habbit it's terrible. I want to try to get clean atleast for a couple weeks and just start from there, I know I gatta just play it day by day but just so hard with the cravings to"have fun" Anyone have a idea to fight anxiety , cravings please chime in. I'm on 400 mg milk thistle to hopefully restore what's left of my liver.. Thank you all much <3
 
900mg habit of what substance?

And hey, 5 steps forward 1 step back is better than 1 step forward 5 steps back, right?
 
I know.. I swear on everything I love I am not lying.. every 3-8 days I dose 800-900 mg.. its a very expensive habbit, but I do not suffer from physical wds.. Please don't ask me why I have no idea,

Been using for about a year, for 2-3 months i used everyday about 50-100 mg. after that tapered down in days but upped in doses greatly.. by the time I was at 300 mgs I shortly rocketed to 600 then 900 in no time.


Anyways Im just here falling off the wagon as always. idk what to do
 
You take 800-900mgs in one dose, but not daily, and you're alive? And not physically dependent? Whats the longest you have gone without dosing recently? How many days apart, i mean. Because I remember back when I was first addicted to Heroin, I had no idea I had become physically dependent because i would go sometimes 2-3 days without, then i had to go 4 days one time after a couple months which is when i first experienced withdrawal symptoms.

Trust me, I believe you - I have no reason to suspect you of lying, I'm simply intrigued because so far this sounds pretty damn unusual. Typically somebody who doesn't use everyday nor suffers withdrawal symptoms would not nearly have a tolerance high enough to even survive that large of a dose. You sure it's hydrocodone and not another opiate? Again, I believe you - I'm just interested.

I know anything is possible - the girl i was dating through most of my heroin addiction never became physically dependent to heroin because she was into other drugs, but she would use with me sometimes almost everyday for months at a time, i think she got herself up to 2-3 bags/day for over a month if i recall correctly, and she never got withdrawal symptoms either.


Also, though what is the problem here if you don't have withdrawal symptoms? I know there is a psychological aspect to staying clean, which is sometimes worse then the physical aspect - but I'd imagine getting clean being substantially easier if you didn't have to kick first. I see that you mentioned something about possible liver damage, leading me to believe you were taking some sort of hydro/tylenol mixture pill. are you sure it's not 900mgs of tylenol/acetaminophen? If I'm right, the pill bottle would say something like 10mg/325mg - are you talking about 90 pills to = 900mgs of hydro, or are you perhaps mistaken and adding the second number up to 900ish? the second number being something like tylenol.

Let me simplify the question - What kind of pills do you take, and what dose(s)?
 
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caseface99 said:
You take 800-900mgs in one dose, but not daily, and you're alive? And not physically dependent? Whats the longest you have gone without dosing recently? How many days apart, i mean. Because I remember back when I was first addicted to Heroin, I had no idea I had become physically dependent because i would go sometimes 2-3 days without, then i had to go 4 days one time after a couple months which is when i first experienced withdrawal symptoms.

Trust me, I believe you - I have no reason to suspect you of lying, I'm simply intrigued because so far this sounds pretty damn unusual. Typically somebody who doesn't use everyday nor suffers withdrawal symptoms would not nearly have a tolerance high enough to even survive that large of a dose. You sure it's hydrocodone and not another opiate? Again, I believe you - I'm just interested.

I know anything is possible - the girl i was dating through most of my heroin addiction never became physically dependent to heroin because she was into other drugs, but she would use with me sometimes almost everyday for months at a time, i think she got herself up to 2-3 bags/day for over a month if i recall correctly, and she never got withdrawal symptoms either.

and to add to that, I dont really even get that constipated anymore, I def do not get the euphoria, I just get slighly the "warm feeling" and a mood lift. the euphoria and the itchies has left 100% I used to get itchy as a mofo but the past 3 months or so not a single itch


Also, though what is the problem here if you don't have withdrawal symptoms? I know there is a psychological aspect to staying clean, which is sometimes worse then the physical aspect - but I'd imagine getting clean being substantially easier if you didn't have to kick first. I see that you mentioned something about possible liver damage, leading me to believe you were taking some sort of hydro/tylenol mixture pill. are you sure it's not 900mgs of tylenol/acetaminophen? If I'm right, the pill bottle would say something like 10mg/325mg - are you talking about 90 pills to = 900mgs of hydro, or are you perhaps mistaken and adding the second number up to 900ish? the second number being something like tylenol.

Let me simplify the question - What kind of pills do you take, and what dose(s)?
Click to expand...


Lol no def not 900 mg of apap. I usally seek out the yellow 36 01 V but its 50/50 I usally have the yellows or just any watson generic 10/325.

Now I mention liver damage because Im not patient with my cold water extractions and I squeeze the filters rather waiting for it to drain slowly. now when your doing that with like 30k mgs of apap u know u must be atleast getting like anywhere from 5k - 10k apap.. (assumption)

im actually on day 4 now, I have a cold but its not wds.. how do i know? because I just chugged down some PST to confirm it. plus theres no way that the symptoms wouldnt show after my multiple times of not using for like 4-7 days..

and to answer your question my highest dose so far was 95 10/325 norcos. thats 950 mg hydro (lets say theres a 100 mg loss) so 850.. but that sounds kinda steep for lossage considering that I use more water than required
 
Ohhhhhk cold water extraction at least explains that whole part of this.

I'm definitely still intrigued by the fact that you aren't getting withdrawal symptoms. If I'm being honest, more so out of envy than anything haha. I wish I could use opiates and not kick... The high without the consequences is every junkies dreams.

It is just really interesting the part about taking that kind of dose and not overdosing when your tolerance is low enough to not have withdrawal symptoms... You must be naturally tolerant.
 
u4ia if you are taking that much hydrocodone at once without any withdrawal effects, you must be one in a million. ive gotten up to 300-400mg oxy a day, NEVER all at once though. hydrocodone is 6 times more potent than codeine, but oxy is approximately 20 times more potent than codeine. That being said, your dose of 900mg hydrocodone seems reasonable (400mg oxy would be about 1200mg hydrocodone assuming that the potency directly correlates.

What doesnt seem reasonable is you needing such a high dose all at once. I hate to advocate using a more powerful painkiller, but you are taking a huge risk by consuming such a high amount of apap and hydrocodone isnt even a nice high. your honestly safer doing some other painkiller without acetominophen. many pain PILL ods happen from the acetominophen, not the opiate itself

it only takes ONE occasion for your liver to shut down from acetominophen OD, something that is for the most part IRREVERSIBLE. milk thistle wont save your liver from some miracle, only you can. Even you admitted you are not great w the CWE. Taking 4000mg APAP in one day is the threshold, meaning at least 50% of patients will die with taking that much in ONE DAY. that means you should only be taking 4000mg at most in a 24 hour period, taking that many ALL AT ONCE is significantly mroe dangerous.

if i were you i'd stop immediately if you dont have any withdrawals...nut up and stop taking things your not even physically addicted to (i dont understand how you are not but if you arent, your better off than 99% of the other opi8 heads trying to kick and have it muuuch easier).

if you REALLY need something to deal w cravings, perhaps try to go to a suboxone doctor. subs can be really addictive if you take them for too long but they are incredible at dealing w cravings.

when i didnt have a tolerance, kratom really would help w my craving as well.

as for anxiety, of course any type of benzo would help w that (alprazolam, diazepam, etc), but i dont advocate teaching your mind that you need a pill to help with how you are feeling. if you cant control your own emotions and be in touch with them and you need a pill to change your state of mind, you should see an addiction counselor because clearly in your mind you think you need something to change how you feel, which you dont.

for me, something that helps w anxiety more than any pill is exercise. I do triathlons so running, biking, or swimming works for me. along with that, some meditation/yoga puts the icing on the cake.

getting sober is tough man. in the end you gotta nut up and say i dont want to do this shit anymore, i aint tryna die, i aint tryna be a fiend no more, aint tryna keep wasting all my money.
MAKE THE CHOICE. Once you decide in your mind that you truly want to get sober, you will. Stay positive bro, i'm coming off subs this thursday after a 2-3 month stretch (down to .5mg now). wish you the best of luck
 
Hiya Feelin,

I believe you about the no physical withdrawal. Some people are lucky in that way. I had a friend who had, had an opiate addiction and never experienced physical withdrawal but ended up on crack. Anyway physical withdrawal or not, addiction can still be damaging and problematic. As seen with gambling and Internet addiction, for example. I am assuming that you are experiencing some form of psychological withdrawal / cravings? You have options; you "could" go for opiate replacement therapy (place research this first), you could go to AA/NA meetings, use Bluelight or whatever other means that you feel will help you in overcoming your addiction. I have some threads discussing other types of recovery management programmes such as SMART recovery that you may want to look into.

If you do not know already, you may wish to look into cold water extraction to save your liver from paracetamol poisoning. You are only meant to have 4,000mg of paracetamol per day n people even suggest aiming to take less than this amount to protect your liver from getting liver damage or even liver failure. If you are planning on taper a suggestion would either be to look into cold water extraction or explain the situation to your doctor and ask if it would be possible to have pure hydrocone tables to taper, maybe collecting from the pharmacy on daily or weekly scripts if your doctor/pharmacy allows this in your country.

Sorry about writing so much and I hope it hasn't come across as preachy. I was taking 900mg codeine daily so I do know what you are going through, I'm now on 12 mg suboxone. Not that I'm suggesting that you go onto suboxone but if worst comes to worst it is a possibility (please don't go at me people, just listing possible options...)

Take care n stay safe,
Evey
 
^^i agree with evey. Suboxone can be INCREDIBLY helpful. it can also be incredibly addictive. You gotta play it smart and do your research. If you do decide i'd recommend going on a 4mg per day dose to start at most. especially if you ahve no physical withdrawal symptoms, 4 mg is MORE than enough to stop cravigs. like i said im only on 1-0.5 mg sub per day and i feel THE SAME as i did on 12mg. idk how but i do. w/ sub, more is less, the more you take the longer it'll bind to receptors. it wont get you higher. start low and end low when your ready!

as you are taking a potentially lethal dose every time you take hydrocodone w/ the APAP, i'd recommend you get on subs IMMEDIATELY if you are going to. Dont take the risk of taking your last possible dose ever. One high is not worth the pain your family and friends will feel when you OD. switch to something safer before you kill yourself, please.
you're not alone man. you are not alone. i know where you are at because i was recently (at least 2 months ago) at a potentially lethal dose of oxy/H every day (300-400mg oxy, 1g H). things can get better and the cravings WILL stop, if you work hard both mentally and physically. good luck bud, and stay safe :)

If you don't want to go on suboxone, try taking kratom when you have cravings. if you have a 900mg hydro at a time dose you certainly wont get high off it, but it'll stop your cravings 100% (you shouldn't be trying to get high anymore anyways if you want to get clean).
 
Damn you guys just about stopped my heart with all of your words- In a good way, Thank you all so much,

im speachless at what to say as far as how you guys actually seem to give a shit, in the days that have past I have stopped taking high amounts of opiates, the highest i have taken was about 450 mgs extracted or so, I am starting to take lower doses, Tho 1 mistake i am making is swallowing 10-12 10/325 pills whole without extracting, I have stopped chasing that "first time high and euphoria" and now only seeking the mood lift and what not, and its actually starting to work, the problem with that is, I am figuring out why I have not had physical wds, its because I didnt dose daily ever, and I guess that kept my body in check as far as not going into physical wd.

But NOW.... that I have been dosing everyday I THINK EITHER i have a legitimate cold/cough/running nose/cold sweats.. OR im experiencing wds... But Note that I have been coughing/sneezing even while dosing so MAYBE I am just sick.. im on day 2 now with nothing and feeling pretty good... How long does it take for physical wds to kick in? I sometimes hear that for some people its almost like within hours after initial dose?
 
I thought it would never happen to me, I never got addicted to any drugs I tried/ and or used, from cigs to alcohol, speed, ecstasy etc... Until now opiates, it has taken over my life and is all I think about, always worried about by next dose, living in secret living a double life because it would break everyone's heart... Apap poisoning.. How can I find the courage to kick this? Is there a light once u pass the tunnel ? Is it really true that after X amount of months later you truly no longer have a desire ?? Are these stories true? And even if they are how do I know that I have not fried my liver from all the tens of thousands of apap per dose... Is it too late anyways? Is the human liver a tough cookie? Or is it weak and easy to go... Any advice, words, even pity or sympathy ... Anything
 
try not to focus on any of the guilt or shame you may have felt in the past because of your opiate use. if you decide to get clean, you cannot even think about the guilt or shame you feel or have felt because of your use or the guilt or shame that caused the use in the first place, yet leads to more. it is a nasty cycle of not only physical dependance following daily use but also emotional and mental dependance in the sense that the more you continue to do them, the more guilt and shame you feel, thus making you want to do them more and hide away from everyone even furthur. opiates are the ultimate drug of guilt and shame.

but to get clean for good you need to throw all that shit out the window. no longer will you hold onto your guilt and shame. Begin to realize that they were mistakes and the ONLY way you can stay sober over time is if you know deep down that you truly learned from the experience and will be a better and a stronger person afterwards.

As far as your questions, yes there is a light once you pass the tunnel, but you will have to continually work to keep it. You wont have 0 MENTAL temptations to use X amount of months after getting clean. If you go into a program of sorts or see a substance abuse counselor and get really serious about this, you can learn to cope with the triggers and temptations and you will not necessarily have no desires to use in the future (particularly if you are put into a particularly tempting scenario-which will happen if you stay in contact with anybody that uses or that triggered your use-i recently had to break up w my girlfriend for my sobriety).

Phillip Seymour Hoffman was clean for like 23 years while he had all that money after stopping his initial usage at the age of 22. He relapsed at age 45 i believe. So you never know, but dying of heroin overdose is NOT what has to happen if you constantly work to never be placed in temptations way and seriously and truly learn how to cope with the stresses of all aspects of addiction. You will be alright brother, just stop now and actively work to become the person you TRULY want to be.

do your best my friend. I am on day 8 off of suboxone right now and it is not easy, but i find that exercise truly helps improve my mood and reduces my anxiety and overall just makes me feel good.
Take care friend.
 
THC_LSD_OC said:
try not to focus on any of the guilt or shame you may have felt in the past because of your opiate use. if you decide to get clean, you cannot even think about the guilt or shame you feel or have felt because of your use or the guilt or shame that caused the use in the first place, yet leads to more. it is a nasty cycle of not only physical dependance following daily use but also emotional and mental dependance in the sense that the more you continue to do them, the more guilt and shame you feel, thus making you want to do them more and hide away from everyone even furthur. opiates are the ultimate drug of guilt and shame.

but to get clean for good you need to throw all that shit out the window. no longer will you hold onto your guilt and shame. Begin to realize that they were mistakes and the ONLY way you can stay sober over time is if you know deep down that you truly learned from the experience and will be a better and a stronger person afterwards.

As far as your questions, yes there is a light once you pass the tunnel, but you will have to continually work to keep it. You wont have 0 MENTAL temptations to use X amount of months after getting clean. If you go into a program of sorts or see a substance abuse counselor and get really serious about this, you can learn to cope with the triggers and temptations and you will not necessarily have no desires to use in the future (particularly if you are put into a particularly tempting scenario-which will happen if you stay in contact with anybody that uses or that triggered your use-i recently had to break up w my girlfriend for my sobriety).

Phillip Seymour Hoffman was clean for like 23 years while he had all that money after stopping his initial usage at the age of 22. He relapsed at age 45 i believe. So you never know, but dying of heroin overdose is NOT what has to happen if you constantly work to never be placed in temptations way and seriously and truly learn how to cope with the stresses of all aspects of addiction. You will be alright brother, just stop now and actively work to become the person you TRULY want to be.

do your best my friend. I am on day 8 off of suboxone right now and it is not easy, but i find that exercise truly helps improve my mood and reduces my anxiety and overall just makes me feel good.
Take care friend.
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I just hate all the negative talk, guilt is a really big problem for me, but the thing is the guilt only lasts for about a day or 2 tops.. then i just start to miss the mood lift that it gives me.. god why cant I just naturally feel this mood lift 24/7 id be the happiest person on this planet lol.. I just want to know is there any opiate users out there, hardcore users, H users, etc.. that used for a long time and were super hooked, and actually got clean and stayed clean? I just hate to see that the success rate seems to be way lower then the failure rate.. which is really dis encouraging.. please speak now if you are clean from opiates and have 0 cravings? let me know theres hope..
 
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