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Is it worth it ? (trying to give up opis)

Ha, no, not you!! I was referring to the staggering lack of insight of the earlier poster!

Good point though about addiction playing tricks on the mind but I agree you have some good insight. Unfortunately there will always be the odd character throwing mud from the peanut gallery but addiction is complex and they don't understand it.

How are you feeling about things today? This stuff can be very up and down, so I try not to make decisions on bad days or when I am struggling. I do know that for me, from a chronic pain perspective, these opiates are a road to nowhere, since my tolerance keeps going up and that can only end badly for me.
 
I'm just replying based off of your title "is it worth it to give up opiates"- and my answer is yes. If you are in active addiction of opiates and you feel like it is ruining your life or it will soon start to, it is best to get out. Opiates are sneaky little fuckers that destroy your life bit by bit before you even realize it. It's done once it is too late.
 
Agreed. I'm in a lot of pain here on my neck n head, absolute hell n there's I can do about it. If I hadn't got addicted to opiates I wouldn't be on suboxone n wouldn't have suffer this :(

MDB please don't take this the wrong way n I'm not judging you, you know this as we've been in PM but I do often hear you say that you're going to quit after this, that or other or "on Friday" or whatever but there is ALWAYS going to be something to stop you.

What if after these interviews you find that you have another interview or you get this job????? You really need to stop TODAY if you're going to make a change because tomorrow never comes. I, too am guilty of doing this n I need to also look at my attitudes.

I've heard other excuses from you too like "well I have lots of epiz in the house I can't stop it." As hard as it is if you were ready you'd not care n would throw it out or have someone else do it for you. I'm using the epiz as an example as I have heard you mention that about epiz. I don't know for sure but I'm not sure you can cold turkey from that as I've been told it's a benzo n I know this thread is concerning opiates but I did heard you once say a similar thing about suboxone as an excuse not to get off it.

How much do you really want this, MDB? Are you doing this for YOU n are you really ready? I'm sorry but I wouldn't be a proper friend if I just said what you want to hear (this is something I'm trying to overcome) n I really think that you find excuses not to get off the opiates. So maybe a good idea for you would be to explore why this is the case for you?

You know I'm always here n you're welcome to PM me anytime but please have a think on what ai'm saying.

Evey xxxx
 
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It may sound like that Eve, but genuinely i do have interviews this week that i need to be at my best for, and also did have one last week, and the week before. I deseperately need a job. After this there wont be any more excuses. I do want this now, i allways eventually end up wanting off, when i am on them. The past few attempts ive struggled to stay stopped, once i did. Im hoping to find some good ways of preventing another replase this time. I phoned my dual diagnosis worker in advance and asked her if we could talk about this during our next meeting. She seemed pleased that i wanted to try to tackle this problem.
 
MDB - I believe you when you say you intend to quit after these interviews - as I said and did the exact same thing.

Evey makes good points but I think just reaching the huge decision to quit is a fundamental milestone and one cannot quit heavy opiates straight away without a plan, support and a stable environment i.e. means to pay the bills short term.

Even after I decided to quit, I still had to wait for months before I could go to work enough to save up the funds to actually keep a roof over my head and pay for food whilst I went through the withdrawal process, gathered info about how to stop safely and got on a waiting list to get medical help to get a reduction plan and manage my other medical issues.

It is not always practical to quit immediately even when we are desperate to do so - the key thing is a realistic plan for HOW you are going to quit and one that is safe and won't lead to a psychiatric or physical crisis.

Even whilst in the middle of my detoxing, major life issues have cropped up and I have had to take the pragmatic view that life still has to carry on to some degree but as long as I am continuing to taper, I will get there.

Get a plan, get all the supplies needed, rehydration sachets, whatever meds needed, etc and PLAN A DATE to stop.
 
mydrugbuddy said:
It may sound like that Eve, but genuinely i do have interviews this week that i need to be at my best for, and also did have one last week, and the week before. I deseperately need a job. After this there wont be any more excuses. I do want this now, i allways eventually end up wanting off, when i am on them. The past few attempts ive struggled to stay stopped, once i did. Im hoping to find some good ways of preventing another replase this time. I phoned my dual diagnosis worker in advance and asked her if we could talk about this during our next meeting. She seemed pleased that i wanted to try to tackle this problem.
Click to expand...

This is good news. I'm glad you called your worker. I was only being harsh because I care about you. I believe that you had interviews n of course wanttobereborn is right that it is realistic to get work in order to pay bills n so forth.

Ok say you decide after these interviews to quit n you're sticking with this so say you get a job, how long will it be before you have to start? You will need to plan time for withdrawals n so forth. If you start the job right away how are you going to have time for withdrawal? Will their be a right time?
 
That is unknown as of yet. If i do get a job offer, i'll have to cross that bridge when i come to it. I dunno how hard or easy kratom w/ds are gonna be. I'll also be giving up nicotine again, which will help massively with the physical side of things. My kratom habit has been low dose and short term, so in the grand scheme of things it shouldnt be too bad. If they ask me to start tomorrow or something like that, I'll have to make up some excuse to avoid that. I'll possibly need a few days to get over the kratom w/ds. I have no idea yet how severely or how mildly they might hit me.
 
mydrugbuddy said:
That is unknown as of yet. If i do get a job offer, i'll have to cross that bridge when i come to it. I dunno how hard or easy kratom w/ds are gonna be. I'll also be giving up nicotine again, which will help massively with the physical side of things. My kratom habit has been low dose and short term, so in the grand scheme of things it shouldnt be too bad. If they ask me to start tomorrow or something like that, I'll have to make up some excuse to avoid that. I'll possibly need a few days to get over the kratom w/ds. I have no idea yet how severely or how mildly they might hit me.
Click to expand...

On step at a time;) This is a journey and their is no destination. Your doing great and I hope you get the offer.. if not there will be another one.
 
Hey MDB,

Thanks for opening up about this topic. I've been on opiates for over 10 years. (I am now 32.) My addiction began as many opiate addicts' do: I have chronic pain and was prescribed them from my doctor. I fell in love immediately. It took away all pain, physical and mental. The human body is very intelligent; it seeks out what it needs. When my body found opiates, it felt complete, and most importantly, pain free.

Ten years down the line my addiction went from vicodin all the way to an unbelieveable tolerance for oxy, especially for a woman my size. I was a full blown addict, lied and spent all of my money on pills. As time passed and I had a career, a home, a partner, etc, this was completely unsustainable. I had to stop or I would lose it all.

I started on suboxone and it changed my life for the better. I have the space to rebuild my life around positivity, strength, integrity, honor, etc, independent from the opiates that took over my life. It helps with my chronic pain. I am on a relatively low dose, and am tapering at a responsible and comfortable pace. And obviously I am a better artist, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. That in itself made it worth it.

For a long time I used opiates as anti-depressants. I think many of us opiate addicts have. Pain killers can be very effective at killing or controlling the pain of life. But part of being alive is to experience the entire range of human emotions. Pain AND joy. There has to be a balance. My addiction tilted that pendulum until it crashed. Subs are helping me even it out, so I can eventually live my balanced life without them. For me, it is worth it to try to quit. Even if I am going slowly.

Im wishing you good luck, good health, and lots of healing in your journey. You'll get there.

Peace.
 
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thanks for the kind and supportive words. As I have been through several cycles of the hard work of tapering, physical withdrawing and then relapsing after a week or so, and starting the whole thing off all over again. I had to ask myself the basic questiion, do i really want to stop and will life be better if i do. I have decided that the answer is yes and that i will have to 'learn to live' again without opis, if that doesnt sound over melo-dramatic. Seeing my CBTworker tomorrow hopefully she can help me come up with more strategies for quitting without relapsing.
 
i feel all this now by living sober, nurturing my spirit, eating right and exercising,
may seem like a lot of work
but not nearly half as much work as maintaining a habit

but i pretty much feel all this clean and sober and when im not feeling invincible i talk to my friends and they bring me back,

Pros: daily hour by hour feeling good.
enhanced musical appreciation.
Time flies by.
Subjective feelings of belonging to a 'subculture'
energy boosts.
Confidence boost.
Feelins of invinceabilty.
 
deaf eye said:
i feel all this now by living sober, nurturing my spirit, eating right and exercising,
may seem like a lot of work
but not nearly half as much work as maintaining a habit

but i pretty much feel all this clean and sober and when im not feeling invincible i talk to my friends and they bring me back,

Pros: daily hour by hour feeling good.
enhanced musical appreciation.
Time flies by.
Subjective feelings of belonging to a 'subculture'
energy boosts.
Confidence boost.
Feelins of invinceabilty.
Click to expand...

This post is ace - exactly what MDB needs to hear (good god I've just realised I post too much it's really not dignified...) deaf eye, this is an ace post thanks for posting it for MDB...

When the opiate grab us, grab on
We are manipulated, we continue the song,
We are carted along, signing that final deed,
Like a dog we beg, running along on a lead

Lost in infected thoughts,
Scared over like warts
Opiates, they are now the boss
Disguised we cannot see our loss

Opiate they laugh, they know there's no map,
They sit there, slowly they lay their deceptive trap,
Oh dearest one you will see no clear sign,
You are a prisoner you will whimper and wine

You will take your last dance
And lose your last chance
As you bow to your master
As opiate, they being to start the slaughter

All of your ace little dreams
Scattered like failed teams
They know you could not score the goal
They infecting you like a cancerous mole

You need to find a way out
To scream and shout
Opiates are not the way
For one day you'll have to pay....

Evey xxxx
 
Day 2 after a month long binge on a strongly stimulating kratom strain. Physically i havent got anything to complain about and have got off lightly. Mentally, there is a drop in focus, mood, and energy. And the opiated insulation has gone. It feels like everything has to be rebuilt.
 
im so tempted to just cave in and re-order more kratom. Life seems so much easier and more fun day by day, but it doesnt seem to be sustainable for any length of time, as my usage just spirals ridicilously out of control. Ive had about 3 years on opis, seen where thats lead me. I think now, its time to at least try the alternatives, ie no opis. And give it time to re-adjust. Fuck, Im gonna be vulnerable to relapsing though. 1 week is the longest i have gone without some form of opis over the last 3 years. I think this time, Im gonna aim for atleast 2 weeks, then 1 month. By then, hopefully my mood might be readjusting to get by without all these artificial external highs.
 
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