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1 night stand - owe sh*t i might like her, do i contact her or not?

L

Louder

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 21, 2014
Messages
6
What's up guys,

I probably know the answer to this already but I'd like to ask for your ideas anyway.

Story goes, I went to a nearby city (bout 1-2hrs away) with some old college guys for some beers. I met this girl who isn't my normal type but we went back to her's and fooled around a bit. Weird thing is we seemed to get on quite well and she was sweet and easy to talk to (talked for a couple of hours in the morning) (wasn't expecting that).

Didn't exchange numbers the next morning as it didn't feel right, she mentioned a couple of times she had been on a couple of dates with some other guy but he wasn't messaging her back the last couple of days.

I've spent 10 days or so thinking about her. I don't have her number but I do know her surname. I've resisted the temptation to look for her of facebook or anything.

What do you thing, should I contact her if I could find her, or is this totally weird (and would it scare the life out of her or you if you were her)? What would I say anyway?

Any other advice welcome.
 
Life is short - contact her. If you don't, you'll never know.

And as a girl it wouldn't freak me out if a one night stand contacted me, as long as he wasn't weird about it, and most importantly, as long as, if I said I'm not interested in anything more, he just accepted that and moved on.

But she could be thinking about you too - there's only one way to find out.
 
^^ What she said.

I would try to contact her.. Why not if you had a great time and clicked not only sexually but verbally?? For me it's rare to find a girl I can talk to for hours. It's worth a shot!
 
Call her up and say "Hello?" "Is this blahblahblah?" "I want your butt hole..." ROFL
 
yeah sure, do it!

I know it was only a one night thing, but honestly many of my most epic long term relationships have sprung from one debauched night of fun. this should add fuel to your already burning fire of wanting to contact her!!
 
Possible scenarios:

1. You don't contact her and nothing happens.
2. You contact her, she thinks that's weird, and nothing happens.
3. You contact her, she thinks that's cool, and you meet up again.

^^ As you see, you can only meet up with her IF you contact her. So why not give it a shot???

On a side note, do you have mutual friends at all?
 
Thanks for all the advice guys (keep it coming if you have any more).

llama112 - Apparently there are no mutual friends. I had a look and found her profile quite easily.
 
I say go for it, as well- but as mentioned up above- make sure you aren't creepy about it.

I'd just say:
I normally don't do this type of thing, and I didn't think this would happen, but I found myself wishing I would have exchanged numbers with you after all. You mentioned, you went on a few dates with someone else but weren't sure where that was going- and I'm not trying to interfere with that; but if possible I'd like to see you again. No pressure. Here's my contact info.

I'd leave the ball in her court then. I wouldn't send any more messages than that. Good luck!
 
Thanks for all the comments and suggestions guys and gals.

Just an update - I'm not a big Facebook user but I sent her a message through there. I didn't send a friend request. I kept it none-creepy, gave her my number and said she could contact me if she wanted to meet up for drink or food. We'll see what happens, but somehow I'm not confident.
 
I think you were definitely right to contact her, and please let us know what happens! No the answer might not be positive, but if it isn't, please try not to take that personally - it was a one night stand so you can never really be sure the person's going to be interested in more and if she's not, it probably has nothing whatsoever to do with you. Good luck!
 
1 night stands didn't have that much meaning 50 years ago...today they have a ton of meaning. Don't question a good connection just because it came about due to a one night stand. That's about as good as you're going to get these days anyway. Peace.
 
OP, any update?

If I was the girl, I would want you to contact me. This exact situation happened to me last summer, except in reverse, and I'm glad I contacted him.
 
Louder said:
Thanks for all the comments and suggestions guys and gals.

Just an update - I'm not a big Facebook user but I sent her a message through there. I didn't send a friend request. I kept it none-creepy, gave her my number and said she could contact me if she wanted to meet up for drink or food. We'll see what happens, but somehow I'm not confident.
Click to expand...


Not sure if you are aware or not, but Facebook is now doing this stupid thing that if you aren't "friends" with the person on there, any message you send them goes to some "other" inbox. I literally had people sending me messages and had no idea where to find them because we were not friended. So if she doesn't respond, that may be why. Perhaps you should friend her to make sure she actually gets the message? Just an idea.

As a female I totally would not be weirded out by a friend request.. I mean, especially after you did just have your dick inside of me an all.

Let us know how it goes? Hope it goes well :)
 
Louder said:
Thanks for all the comments and suggestions guys and gals.

Just an update - I'm not a big Facebook user but I sent her a message through there. I didn't send a friend request. I kept it none-creepy, gave her my number and said she could contact me if she wanted to meet up for drink or food. We'll see what happens, but somehow I'm not confident.
Click to expand...

I think that was a good idea. What's the worst that could happen, right? :) I am curious how it turned out... let us know!!!

deltakappamu said:
Not sure if you are aware or not, but Facebook is now doing this stupid thing that if you aren't "friends" with the person on there, any message you send them goes to some "other" inbox. I literally had people sending me messages and had no idea where to find them because we were not friended. So if she doesn't respond, that may be why. Perhaps you should friend her to make sure she actually gets the message? Just an idea.

As a female I totally would not be weirded out by a friend request.. I mean, especially after you did just have your dick inside of me an all.

Let us know how it goes? Hope it goes well :)
Click to expand...

Yes!!!! Facebook will probably send your message to the "other" inbox which may not get checked very often. FB messages from people I don't know go there. It's annoying.
Also lol I get friend requests like almost daily by random people, some people who I've only like seen once in my life at a club, and some people who I've never met. Eh. Nothing wrong with a friend request :)
 
Update time - I found out that my message goes into the 'other' when FB asked if I wanted to pay to send my message. I checked my account and I had loads of messages in there that I'd never seen. I'd actually been invited to party and stuff and didn't even know, which is shit because I must have missed some good nights! Anyway I sent a friend request a couple of days later (life's too short and all). Pretty sure I surprised her a bit. We've been messaging and we're trying to sort out meeting up for a beer. Not getting brilliant vibes but we'll see what happens if / when we meet up.

deltakappamu - Completely agree, how shit is the 'others' folder thing!?

Thanks for all the messages and advice. Hopefully post another update in a few weeks after we've met up.
 
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