Ready To Try Again

[Space Firebird]

God I hate this...
I messed up the sobriety I had for a few months last year and I have to start over now.
It looks like I'm back here for now and you guys are stuck with me.

I know that NSA isn't hot on tapering, but I can't miss any work, and I've got to find a way to do this and remain functioning in my life.
I've failed miserably thusfar at quitting dope, but I think I've had my wakeup call and am ready to try this again.
I appreciate any support I can get from the group over the next few weeks while I try to step off of opiate pills yet once again.

So here are my questions for now:

In the short term, will a general tranquilizer such as Phenobarbital be as good if not better than a benzo for treating w/d symptoms?
I have some Clonidine on the way as I hear that it can sometimes help too.
I also have some Ambien that I can take to help me sleep.

I am familiar with the concept of the Loperamide approach, but is seems to me that I would remain addicted to opiates while I am on it and the W/D's would just be postponed until I stop taking it and still have to face the W/D's then.

Does this make sense?

I'm ready for the pain, and am willing to make it a fast taper, but it is imperative that I keep as much of my brain functioning as possible while I do this.

Last bit: I've really found no where else but here to turn, I can't say what a godsend this place is.

Thank you all and please wish me luck.

 

[neversickanymore]

All the support you need there space

Its not that im not down with the tapper.. just i was never good at it.. also I really do feel that it keeps people in withdrawals for a much longer time period with a hard jump still at the end, but duties in real life can make this a necessity rite. Also people seem to have a better success rate on tapering the lope as it really produces no "high".. so this may be a good option as well for people who feel that this would be a positive thing.

what is the opiate you are getting off.. OC right?

You can do this space

 

[Space Firebird]

OC and OM.

I am cutting out the 40-60 mg Oxymorphone insufflated, today, cold turkey.
It is the main thing that has been standing in my way.
That leaves me with 330 mg / day OC right now, today, I hope.

Thank you so much for being there and the kind words, this a is very bad, sad place to be, and having you as a friend here is golden.

 

[neversickanymore]

so you plan on taking them orally and they are ER?

 

[caseface99]

The main issue with tapering, in my experience, is not that it isn't effective. It is in fact very effective when done properly. The main problem I have encountered, however, is that tapering takes a LOT of willpower. The only times I ever successfully tapered at all are the times when I would be able to buy a weeks worth of dope at once, measure it all out into smaller and smaller daily doses and give each days dose to my girlfriend to hold on to. she would refuse to give me any but that days dose and believe me, I asked every single day - not asked, begged, for more. On my own I could never taper, and most people I know couldn't do it either. Because if you recall where i said the bit about willpower, typically addicts are lacking in that department.

So anyway - about your questions, I think phenobarbital, clonidine, and ambien are definitely all great tools to have available to you. Remember to always take the lowest amount possible to ease your symptoms, and remember that while you can lessen the pain, when it comes down to it you are still withdrawing and you are still going to be uncomfortable. It can be lessened, but not avoided. Another great medication i always recommend is gabapentin, or name brand version "neurontin", it always helped me quite a bit and is non addictive. It works best when taken 3-4 times a day, in my experience. As always, exercise and a healthy diet will make the biggest difference - it really will. your body needs time to recover and revert back to normal, and exercise and nutrients can greatly speed up this process.

Don't be hard on yourself, either. I have gotten sober, relapsed, and returned here for advice 8 months later like twice now and thats not counting all the relapses before I started posting in TDS/SL. I've tried recovery and then relapsed probably 5-6 times since 2010. It's a process, and it takes what it takes. Best of luck!

 

[Space Firebird]

so you plan on taking them orally and they are ER?

I plan on taking them orally and I have a combination of ER and IR. This AM I took 30 IR and an hour later 80 ER.
I think 10% per day is more realistic than every few days, I've got to taper quickly to stay focused.
So I did drop the 40 OM yesterday and today is set at 300 OC.

caseface, you are right, I would say that I don't know if I have the willpower to taper, but that would be my beast leaving me an "out."
Even what I just said there sounded a lot like my beast leaving me an out.

I will agree that Willpower is the key, so that is the direction that I will study and put my effort.

Thanks guys.

 

[herbavore]

One thing that can really help your willpower is using mindfulness techniques that teach you how to stay in the present moment. It feels so overwhelming to try to change something that is woven into the fabric of your life the way an addictive drug is. Breaking it all down to 60 seconds feels totally doable. Good luck and keep posting. We are all behind you.

 

[Space Firebird]

One thing that can really help your willpower is using mindfulness techniques that teach you how to stay in the present moment. It feels so overwhelming to try to change something that is woven into the fabric of your life the way an addictive drug is. Breaking it all down to 60 seconds feels totally doable. Good luck and keep posting. We are all behind you.

I so totally agree, I've been a meditator for over 40 years, my brain is already pretty well programmed to focus, and I know that I can do this.
I've done it before...

Thanks for the kind words and Great Advice, herbavore.

 

[neversickanymore]

I would not taper on a daily basis.. becasue this will likely go ok for a few days but then the half life will catch up and you will end up hurting bad.. so what I would do is tapper every four or five days. if you have enough of the substances and you feel 10% is a good level to tapper then every 4-5 days cut your dose by 10%. This way you are giving your system enough time to reajust before you cut agian. you can and will do this space

 

[caseface99]

^^ Verry good point NSA, when I have tapered in the past, when I cut my dose everyday I am fine for a few days and then at day 4-5 it hits me like a ton of bricks because I didn't give my body time to adjust to each new dosage.

 

[Space Firebird]

I would not taper on a daily basis.. becasue this will likely go ok for a few days but then the half life will catch up and you will end up hurting bad.. so what I would do is tapper every four or five days. if you have enough of the substances and you feel 10% is a good level to tapper then every 4-5 days cut your dose by 10%. This way you are giving your system enough time to reajust before you cut agian. you can and will do this space

Thank you, I have plenty of meds and this is exactly the type of info I am looking for!

 

[Space Firebird]

I am pretty afraid for what is coming up pretty fast, here.
I have not been having luck with tapering down, in fact the harder I think about tapering down, I end up going up instead!
My subcortex just takes over once the drugs start working each day, and I am powerless at that point to abstain.

I'm at about 240 mg Oxymorphone intranasal, which is like 1000 oral, and about 160 - 240 Oxycontin per day.

The fear of the pain of the w/d's that is coming is pyschologically overwhelming;
everything I read about Oxymrphone indicates that it is the worst drug I could have chosen to get addicted to.

I am going to try once again to create a taper schedule with times and doses and stick with it, I just need more will power in order to do it.
It truly is one day at a time, and if i could just internalize this concept I could do this on my own.

Anyway:

There is a rehab clinic locally that takes my insurance, and I have about 3 weeks off around April 15, to deal with this away from the public eye.

I am thinking about making an appointment with them, they offer a 3-4 day inpatient program but I have no idea what it consists of, or what could possible be accomplished in 3-4 days.

I presume, that they would set me up on subs, and then taper that, but NSA seems to suggest often that choosing to do subs is worse than just quitting the dope that I am on Cold Turkey.

Only problem, is that I honestly don't think that I can manage cold turkey. So what is happening now is the dead end that all addicts apparently eventually face.

Furthermore, if my wife doesn't actually see me being proactive to get this dealt with, it's going to be the end there, as well.

So that all said, do I set up an appt with said rehab center and try to schedule the sheer hell that this is going to be for April?

If I try one more time to taper this down and quit on my own, should I consider using clonidine and Neurontin at the same time that I am trying to taper? Or is it a waste of medication if I am still taking OC and OM?

Can I possibly use a couple lortabs for w/d's the same way that people use Loperamide, using hydrocodone to stave off the pain a bit so I can handle it?

Even with all the help here, I am still feeling a bit lost, I can't believe I let myself take OM, compared to it OC is just like candy.

Thanks again, you guys, for trying to help me, it really means a lot to have the support of people who have been through this and care enough to want to try and help others that are facing similar dilemmas.

 

[love88]

I am pretty afraid for what is coming up pretty fast, here.
I have not been having luck with tapering down, in fact the harder I think about tapering down, I end up going up instead!
My subcortex just takes over once the drugs start working each day, and I am powerless at that point to abstain.

I'm at about 240 mg Oxymorphone intranasal, which is like 1000 oral, and about 160 - 240 Oxycontin per day.

The fear of the pain of the w/d's that is coming is pyschologically overwhelming;
everything I read about Oxymrphone indicates that it is the worst drug I could have chosen to get addicted to.

I am going to try once again to create a taper schedule with times and doses and stick with it, I just need more will power in order to do it.
It truly is one day at a time, and if i could just internalize this concept I could do this on my own.

Anyway:

There is a rehab clinic locally that takes my insurance, and I have about 3 weeks off around April 15, to deal with this away from the public eye.

I am thinking about making an appointment with them, they offer a 3-4 day inpatient program but I have no idea what it consists of, or what could possible be accomplished in 3-4 days.

I presume, that they would set me up on subs, and then taper that, but NSA seems to suggest often that choosing to do subs is worse than just quitting the dope that I am on Cold Turkey.

Only problem, is that I honestly don't think that I can manage cold turkey. So what is happening now is the dead end that all addicts apparently eventually face.

Furthermore, if my wife doesn't actually see me being proactive to get this dealt with, it's going to be the end there, as well.

So that all said, do I set up an appt with said rehab center and try to schedule the sheer hell that this is going to be for April?

If I try one more time to taper this down and quit on my own, should I consider using clonidine and Neurontin at the same time that I am trying to taper? Or is it a waste of medication if I am still taking OC and OM?

Can I possibly use a couple lortabs for w/d's the same way that people use Loperamide, using hydrocodone to stave off the pain a bit so I can handle it?

Even with all the help here, I am still feeling a bit lost, I can't believe I let myself take OM, compared to it OC is just like candy.

Thanks again, you guys, for trying to help me, it really means a lot to have the support of people who have been through this and care enough to want to try and help others that are facing similar dilemmas.

Hey SF. Jus wanted to say that I Am at 50hours form opiates. I had anywhere from 150mg to 450mg oxycodone habit. I know that not a strong as what u are taking.
Wanted to say that I found gabapentin to be a wonder! At 50 hours I only have some moderate pain in my legs
ive been taking 900 to 1120 mg of gabapentin 3 to 4 times a day. I also throw some flexiral here n there. So def don't over look ur supply of gabapentin.
You can do it! I too came to Blue light bc I wanted support and we understand eacother!

 

[neversickanymore]

dont feal bad space.. I wasn't able to tapper anything ever.. well I pretend a couple of times. I would figure out exactly what they do by talking to them.. if they wont tell you then this tells you something right.

Don't worry space your going to get this done sir!!

 

[Space Firebird]

I think they are a detox.
If I can get detoxed, past the acute w/d's, I honestly believe that I can stop doing drugs.
I've quit before for literally years.
I just need to get over that hill.
I think I'm going to make an appointment and see what they are all about.