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Seriously not doing Meth anymore.

Ozekat

Ozekat

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 13, 2009
Messages
283
Location
Kentucky
After buying a ticket late christmas night the 25th, I haven't touched this god awful drug. I'm pretty sure this has been my longest amount of time away from the shards in a couple months. I would usually do it once or twice a week, always taking 2-4 days to recover.

My connect is too good to be true. I often get free bags, and he used to come over and smoke with me and my now ex-roommate, so there was definitely no shortage of the shit around here.

I found that after awhile, all the good initial effects of Meth just disappear. I use, then get caught in a loop or isolating/ self-pleasure neurotic behavior and self-obsession. It is only good for instant gratification, and before you know it you have been up for 48-72 hours and cannot fucking sleep. By far, even including all the horrible reactions I've had to heroin, nothing compares to me crashing off Meth.

Anyway, I'm really glad to say I'm not using. I've had a talk with my dad concerning this stuff--- this latest crashing off it had me in bed for over 36 hours straight.....how people use this stuff and stay up for a solid week is something I never want to experience or even understand.

My body during the crash especially would feel like it was falling apart....mostly probably a byproduct of a huge lack of sleep, but Meth genuinely scares me. I just hope I can become strong enough to really say No when it matters most, because I know its easy to sit and type about how much I hate it here, but when it is staring me in the fact that is the true challenge.
 
Im so happy to hear that you've decided to kick the stuff for good!

Getting clean is the easy part, and as you mentioned in your post, it's not quite as easy when it's staring you in the face. Staying clean is no joke, and I'd suggest you formulate a plan of recovery to follow on a daily basis. Do your absolute best to remove yourself from any situations where meth may be encountered. You may get cravings, but please remember that they will pass wether you use or not - and giving into them is a choice.

Stay strong and stay positive!!
 
<3 I'm really happy to hear that you're actively seeking to quit for good this time. It's so important to be active about it. Your good fight will eventually win <3.
 
I've been getting deeper and deeper in with amphetamines this last year or so, having a long history of stim abuse spanning more then 20 years.

We don't see much meth in the UK but decent amphetamine sulphate has become more prevalent again over recent years and well within my financial reach. The usual pattern of weekend use slipping into the week and ending up with more days using than not seems an inevitable destination for me.

The back end of last year I started getting hold of some glass and things got even further out of hand and sporadic benzo use started to creep in to deal with the fallout.

I was doing OK up until the Christmas ( 6+ weeks with no unprescribed drugs ) then slipped up just before and crashed hard the other side of Christmas, the deep pit of depression felt like an eternity.

I feel so much better when I'm not harming myself with amphetamines but the lure of taking them is a constant nagging that is difficult to ignore.

Keeping busy seems to help and trying not to let a slip up escalate into returning to habitual use good luck:)
 
Thanks for the positive and educational replies.

I've got a small victory to report. Today I found myself at the typical dealer's, and though is was not exactly by choice, ( got caught 'riding along' with a friend and ended up there.....) I still managed to sit there and "chill" with meth around and being smoked for 2-3 hours. I didn't take a single hit or ask for any. Did zero meth.

Definitely feel great about this today.

It took me smoking a lot of weed and rolling joints like a maniac, lol.....but I managed to steer clear of the devil drug
 
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Hey ozz:)

Fighting a meth or coke use.. means strait fighting an addiction.. the most important thing IMO is to learn how to exit out of the addictive cycle and how to combat and resit craving. Do you have any techniques the are working well for you to do either of these?
 
omg no offense but hanging out in a drug house while trying to stay off drugs will not work for very long-----------
 
^I agree with this. I'm glad you didn't give in and use Oz, but helping other people score and being around it yourself probably isn't the best of ideas right now. Stay strong and know that you have a good support team right here.
 
Yeah, I'm doing great. I won't find myself back in the drug house anytime soon. Like I said, I kind of got caught in the middle, wasn't my intention to just go there and hang out.

Techniques?.....Man, I honestly have no idea. I guess just knowing you have to stop when you have to stop.....sometimes its time to throw in the towel when it comes to certain drugs. I mean, long-time amphetamine addiction is no joke I feel like meth destroys so much inherent goodness that we all hold inside of us. Well, most of us lol. (jk)
 
Ozekat said:
Yeah, I'm doing great. I won't find myself back in the drug house anytime soon. Like I said, I kind of got caught in the middle, wasn't my intention to just go there and hang out.

Techniques?.....Man, I honestly have no idea. I guess just knowing you have to stop when you have to stop.....sometimes its time to throw in the towel when it comes to certain drugs. I mean, long-time amphetamine addiction is no joke I feel like meth destroys so much inherent goodness that we all hold inside of us. Well, most of us lol. (jk)
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So happy to hear you're doing great and out of that house :) Nothing good will ever come from that situation.

You're absolutely right about amphetamine addiction- it destroys and takes so much, just like any addiction I suppose.

I really didn't have any technique either, I just figured it was time to stop drugs I was addicted to, and even though it was a struggle, I managed to.
 
yeah it's definitely hell of a drug, after 2 years of no usage I still crave the stuff occasionally - probably out of a boredom thing when I'm very drunk or not being satisfied by booze. I read once the cravings really never go away but I thought it was bullshit...How wrong I was...I stopped cold turkey and it worked :) I was using every weekend for a while or when I could get it :(
 
it might sound weird. but when i've smokin half the day and i wanna stop, i find smoking the residue in my pipe helps kill the urge to smoke more. it's like it distracts me form loadin more, it only gets me a little buzz, and then it starts to taste bad, and by time the pipe is clean, my brain has kinda forgotten why it was so rewarding to smoke it.
 
Ya this may seem rude to your friends but.....You have to leave them behind if you want to stay clear from this.....If they choose to not do it then it's okay to hang out......But hanging with the dealer and I've been there too with the glass bongs going around and fat bowls.....I realized one day how much meth took from me......and what I will never get back......So please from one kenfolk to another in the sense of users........Be mindful of the people you hang around.
 
Thank you all for the replies!!! I have been doing great!!! I still haven't touched meth since I originally posted (since the 25th). I'm looking healthier and gaining back the little bit of weight I lost from being strung out on it.

To sonicwhite.....yes dude, good post. I really love the end where you say be mindful of the people you hang around.

I've been staying super busy b/c of work, so I have no time to get into much trouble. And I know its been thrown around a lot before back and forth but I still stand by weed not causing me any harm that I can see. I stayed stoned all last week and it felt amazing. I probably needed it just to get back into wanting to eat and feeling like eating.....something meth takes away from us in the most cunning of ways.

For a drug to make one not want to eat.....thats just sad, and bad for us. Anyway, enough about me for now. I'm doing very well, and having not been under the influence of any kind of hard drugs for the longest time I can remember makes me want to stop obsessing over myself and what not.

Us addicts truly are selfish.....being high, wanting to feel that buzz......putting it above everything else.....I just miss my mom and lil sister, you know? Drugs, especially meth keep me confined and emotionally suffocated.

If you are using meth and thinking about life without it or want to quit, please do yourself a huge favor and just put the stuff down and walk away. I don't know what else to say, but I'm thankful for the support and replies.

:D
 
Meth is a big lie.....the ups aren't worth the downs, and the ups are psychotic, unnatural......some people are prescribed amps I realize, and maybe in some cases that is fine. But meth? Its a complete joke. Used in WWII by the nazis and apparently hitler was on it all the time.

I'm just tired of hearing the same old excuses that hard drug users always throw out there. Always trying to explain away their awful addiction, and they can't just admit they are selfish people. I know that I've been selfish and I'm not guilt tripping myself over it either. Thats the reality of drugs at the true core anyway, isn't it?

And if its not that, then its the people who know they have a problem but keep using, like beating themself in the head over and over, really are we that weak? I mean, if you really want to stop then I think you can. If we don't have that attitude then we'll just settle for the shitty, mediocre druggie lifestyle. Its not so cool anymore.....yeah lol I'll end my rant now thanks for reading if you got this far. ;)
 
Hi :) For me that will be a really great achievement to achieve. And about the challenge when the thing stares at you, try to go and find a job. Make yourself busy on doing a lot of things. This is one good way in my opinion :) Goodluck.
 
Hello all, I am doing very good!!! I have not procured or done any methamphetamine in 30 days!!!!!!

I feel much better, and my sanity has mostly come back to me. I have a hyper sensitivity to coffee (but not mountain dew, I must be a real hick, lol) but who cares about coffee lol. I can smell things again and my nose finally feels (almost) normal!! (after snorting the shards too much)

I get cravings quite a bit but they can be controlled or ignored. I'm just so happy I haven't done the devil's drug of choice in this long.....and my heart is very satisfied with the break I'm allowing it away from METH.

On top of that I've only done dope once in the past month. So I'm doing really damn good! Realistically speaking I use weed to get by (for now) but being busy from work and taking time to be with my mom and sister has helped tremendously in the mental aspect. I bet a lot of drug addicts like me have huge family issues and all we really want is that level of closeness that is healthy and normal for all humans, between us and our family.

What else do I do? I sit a lot, but its not in an awful meth-induced and sleep deprived sort of way, where one's very eyes seem to mimic an endless abyss....now my sitting sessions are much more normal or at the worst reefer-infused. I've been drinking a bit too much but I know how to put the lid on that nonsense pretty well........here's to one more month not touching the dark combo or either H or Shards!!!

:D:):D
 
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