Opioids Methadone advice badly needed.

[Bomb319]

I've been addicted to opiates IV for nearly 6 years. I have tried my best to get clean but find I am still sick to the point of brutal lethargy even several months after becoming clean. I desperately need to solve this problem as I am on the verge of homelessness and cannot keep a job for love or money.

After many appointments and much suffering, I have a doctor appointment Thursday in which I can finally get methadone. I know I need something to help me since I always relapse on my own and am also always prone to stomach and headaches which constant opiate dosing helps dramatically. I would love to be on maintenance, however have heard so many horror stories that I just can't be sure. Subs are not covered for me on welfare while methadone is. At this point, I feel comfortable having to take methadone forever if it finally stops this terrible cycle of addiction and never having a job or money to spend.

Is it worth it? I really could use some experiences and guidance. I know it's very hard to get off methadone, but since I essentially have never been able to get off anything else, it seems like a godsend right now. What do you guys think, and when I am on the correct dose, does it really kill all cravings for heroin in the future? I need the best treatment that lets me delete my connections and finally get on with my life. I'm in literally hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and am at my wits end.

 

[PKPro]

If you have no option to go the suboxone route then yes. Either way you're making a move to better yourself. Although if you did have the choice suboxone is definitely the better choice as methadone is fat soluble which makes detox very unpleasant... Don't get me wrong suboxone detox sucks too but it's much less shitty from the experience reports I've read.

 

[HeadphonesandLSD]

Detox from either methadone or suboxone is not going to be a walk in the park for anyone.

Given your situation I'd say going the methadone route is probably the best thing for you. The basic idea here is to give you methadone to break your usual cycle of use -> get high -> withdrawal -> use. With the methadone you simply take it once a day (or twice, depends on clinic/doctor) and you stay well until the following day. This allows you to break the cycle of needing to score so you can focus on bettering yourself and life situation. Once your life is stable again you can work on stepping off the methadone slowly.

Its not going to be easy but if you stick with the program you can beat the addiction and the underlying causes of it. Be warned that coming off methadone is _really_ hard given its long half life. Going cold turkey off methadone is perhaps one of the worst and prolonged withdrawal that you can go through when it comes to opiates. That's why it should be treated as a tool and not something that you can catch a buzz off of. Those that go into the methadone program without the goal of getting clean in the long run typically don't fare very well.

To me you sound like a good candidate for the methadone program. I had a friend who was in your shoes and it did wonders for him. However, it is 5 years later and he's still having to go to the clinic every morning. He wants to jump off all together but is currently unable to find the time to do so as he works all of the time. Keep this in mind because you will have to plan your day to day life around taking your dose and it can become a pain in the ass after awhile.

You may also want to speak to your doctor about alternatives to the methadone program. You may not be able to get suboxone but he might be willing to get you cleaned up by prescribing some other shorter acting opiate. This is a long shot and you would be really lucky to find a doctor willing to do this but stranger things have happened. Whatever he decides some form of group or 1-on-1 therapy would probably benefit you. You could also try going to the local NA meetings as well.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Bomb319]

Thanks a lot for the advice. I definitely know going off meth is hell. But as I said, it's been hell for years anyway. Additionally, whenever I can get money I compulsively binge, run out and then get sick and extremely lethargic. I obsess about scoring. Worse still, I lie in bed without moving up to days on end, unable to do anything productive, let alone look for work. I can't even eat. This can last days until I pick up again, then I have enough energy to run all over town. At this point I feel willing to take meth for the rest of my life if it helps me get up and out, eat properly and find a job. I'm in MASSIVE debt since almost every penny I can ever get will go towards my addiction. That's why I feel I badly need a way out, even if it is hard to kick. I really need to focus on changing my life now. I get so lethargic and have such low motivation in addition to severe sweating and chills, I had trouble just attending my meth appointment, even though I knew it would help. I just don't see how meth can possibly replace my cravings for good quality H. I guess that is what it does, but the last thing I want to do is get on meth and then keep using dope.

 

[Blind Melon]

If your addiction is heavy and/or life-threatening (and it sounds like it is) I would recommend Methadone, specifically MMT, above all else; it certainly saved my life. But be wary of benzo addiction... mixing Xanax + Methadone is every bit as pleasurable as heroin was (for me at least) and probably more dangerous. If you have a habit you want to quit get on Suboxone. Again, be wary of acquiring a benzo addiction, chasing that high you've lost.

To me it sounds like Suboxone just won't cut it for you (at this stage in your life/addiction cycle) and I highly recommend MMT. Just stay committed. You can do this. And be warned: never Cold Turkey 'done. Once your daily cravings for H/whatever stop you'll settle into a nice Methadone routine. As soon as you stop thinking about the other opiates begin to slowly decrease your 'done dose over time, careful not to become too attached to the Methadone, as I did.

Good Luck!

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

If you can't stay clean any other way, have failed at sobriety many times, are spending a lot of money, and if your life using in general is crumbling.... then yeah, methadone is worth it, IMO.

I'd personally only recommend methadone for long term addicts, at high risk for either arrest/death or harm, who have have showed a history of repeated relapse and whom suboxone has not worked for.

Many of the horror stories regarding methadone come from people trying to detox at high doses or who just didn't do it right. If you taper down slowly and properly, you can get off methadone pretty painlessly. You just have to do it right.

So, yeah.. try it out and see if it's something that will help you. Sounds like at the point you're at, trying anything and everything is worth it to get clean.

 

[Bomb319]

If you can't stay clean any other way, have failed at sobriety many times, are spending a lot of money, and if your life using in general is crumbling.... then yeah, methadone is worth it, IMO.

I'd personally only recommend methadone for long term addicts, at high risk for either arrest/death or harm, who have have showed a history of repeated relapse and whom suboxone has not worked for.

Many of the horror stories regarding methadone come from people trying to detox at high doses or who just didn't do it right. If you taper down slowly and properly, you can get off methadone pretty painlessly. You just have to do it right.

So, yeah.. try it out and see if it's something that will help you. Sounds like at the point you're at, trying anything and everything is worth it to get clean.

Thanks. Yeah it is certainly at the point where it cost me everything - all my friends, girlfriend, jobs, respect of family, liking anything else etc. I may be endorphin deficient naturally since I always used to get stomachaches, migraines, depression etc. My addiction started after doctor prescribed me hundreds of percocet, dilaudid and valium every month for migraines. Slowly over years, it progressed to IV heroin mostly but also dilaudid and oxy when available. My life is such a mess; I am literally hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, so at this point I feel like I don't care if I have to be on it forever. I know you don't get high from it, but will it at least make me stop obsessing about heroin? I dream about it literally every night when I can sleep, and love injecting. I don't have HIV which I'm very thankful for. My family doctor does not approve, and wants me to simply "stop using" gradually. As if it's that easy. Same idiot who got me into this mess. When he suspected I was addicted years ago, he phoned the pharmacy behind my back and cut me off my prescriptions cold turkey without tapering or counseling. I was so sick that I had no choice but to buy on the street, which eventually became an IV HEROIN HABIT as I say. I just don't think I have it in me at this point to stop using. I get so depressed and I literally am bedridden with no motivation and no future. I just hope methadone can make me feel good enough to not want to use anymore and not JUST take sickness away. If not, I'm afraid I will keep using. It's been sheer hell and I have been suicidal at times.

 

[HeadphonesandLSD]

Honestly you never stop thinking about your drug of choice but it does get better, I promise. I've been where you're at and I know its hell on Earth.

The methadone is going to take away the sickness and a lot of the physical cravings. Mentally you're still going to be craving it though, and you will think about it a lot of course. That's where therapy comes in.

Methadone is just there to break the trap/cycle of having to use to stay out of withdrawal. Past that you have to work at it.

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

Thanks. Yeah it is certainly at the point where it cost me everything - all my friends, girlfriend, jobs, respect of family, liking anything else etc. I may be endorphin deficient naturally since I always used to get stomachaches, migraines, depression etc. My addiction started after doctor prescribed me hundreds of percocet, dilaudid and valium every month for migraines. Slowly over years, it progressed to IV heroin mostly but also dilaudid and oxy when available. My life is such a mess; I am literally hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, so at this point I feel like I don't care if I have to be on it forever. I know you don't get high from it, but will it at least make me stop obsessing about heroin? I dream about it literally every night when I can sleep, and love injecting. I don't have HIV which I'm very thankful for. My family doctor does not approve, and wants me to simply "stop using" gradually. As if it's that easy. Same idiot who got me into this mess. When he suspected I was addicted years ago, he phoned the pharmacy behind my back and cut me off my prescriptions cold turkey without tapering or counseling. I was so sick that I had no choice but to buy on the street, which eventually became an IV HEROIN HABIT as I say. I just don't think I have it in me at this point to stop using. I get so depressed and I literally am bedridden with no motivation and no future. I just hope methadone can make me feel good enough to not want to use anymore and not JUST take sickness away. If not, I'm afraid I will keep using. It's been sheer hell and I have been suicidal at times.

Yeah once you're on the right dose, you'll notice the cravings decrease a lot. You wont be obsessing about it like you are now.