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REVELATION caused by DATURA

Option 5: Instead of doing maintenance-level psychoactives constantly, how bout plan for a big trip that will shake you out of your depressive trance, i.e. ayahuasca or Iboga. But PLAN. And have an experienced, confident sitter. Just a suggestion. Being altered that often is not healthy (but healthier than being dead, I"ll grant you that).

I'll echo option 3 above me, and encourage you to ignore option 4. buildersoftime, your advice is no different than telling a depressed person to "snap out of it." Go harass someone else.

Grigore, You strike me as a remarkably self-aware person. And I must admit, I've also had my own share of using the internet and probably this forum under psychedelic delirium. When I first took Iboga, I had some bluelight-related fantasies and hallucinations, as well as some facebook ones. Just some weird stuff similar to this thread, actually, where I had REVELATIONS. I think my revelations made about as much sense as yours did--some universal wisdom with some absurdity thrown in. It's not a big deal. We came down. No one was hurt. No one stayed crazy. I don't know what you were gaining, exactly, from taking Datura, but I'm glad you're off it now.

Anyway, if the only two options you are willing to consider are suicide and tripping, there are much more powerful and healing psychedelics you could be doing. Right now you're in "weird-ass" territory with your current regimen. You want to move to "guided, medicinal, grounding" territory. Peyote is another one that fits into that category.

Just something to consider.
 
I'll totally consider what you've told me and I'm going to grow some shrooms and t. pachanoi.
Also,if I'll ever get the opportunity to try DMT,I will.

Thank you for your advice! :)
 
I'd really like to hear more about your Datura experiences. Deliriants generally have a very bad reputation even here on bluelight, despite some people thoroughly enjoying them.

Oh and + on the peyote, most emotionally beneficial experience I could imagine and my absolute favourite in the psychedelics realm along with DMT. Nonetheless, you don't want this to turn into a habit, especially because you will experience some functional impairment (e.g. on the social level). If you can find no other way than to regularly consume psychedelics, I would say DMT seems the most benevolent of all. DMT will also allow you to remain functionally unimpaired during the rest of the day, since the experience only lasts a few minutes. Also, DMT is very very easy and cheap to acquire in most countries once you know how (Think ~1USD per experience).
 
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Why would he show responsibility with psychs when he isnt able to use anything responsibly thus far? I really think the OP should be seeking psychiatric help, not taking more drugs.
 
ComfortablyNumb95 said:
well, trading a 6-days-a-week full on dissociative-delirium habit with a (hopefully) responsible, grounding and therapeutic psychedelic use isn't that bad if you think about it.
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This.
I'm the last one on this forum to convince people of taking drugs, but I'd rather see him replace his datura habit with regular dmt use because so far the studies that have been done seem to point towards dmt having beneficial effects on a user's health (2 studies on members of the santo daime religion have been conducted, I can send them to you via email if you write me a pm). Also as I have pointed out, DMT will leave him more functional throughout the day.

rollonsafely said:
Why would he show responsibility with psychs when he isnt able to use anything responsibly thus far? I really think the OP should be seeking psychiatric help, not taking more drugs.
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Good point. A psychiatrist visit would definitely be indicated, but there really isn't that much modern psychiatry is gonna be able to do. He is not psychotic it seems when not intoxicated, so neuroleptics aren't indicated, especially not when considering their potentially life threatening side effects. SSRI's for his depression? Extremely low efficacy, quite serious side effects, some people will actually become more suicidal on them (e.g. me, but this is a well-known problem).

Psychotherapy can help a huge deal, but I don't know if it is available to him. Where I live you do not need to seek a psychiatrist for that anyway.

It's definitely a good idea to seek an in-patient treatment to prevent a disaster from happening when he is acutely suicidal. Other than that, psychiatry isn't really a cure for his problems. Pills can be a great treatment of acute states, but long term treatment often introduces new problems (both somatic and psychological). So in an ideal world: "Yes, go seek a psychiatrist to cure you of your existential problems!" In reality this doesn't usually work that well. Even if the numbers (e.g. incidence of suicide, psychotic rating scale etc.) would prove a treatment's efficacy, they often leave out aspects that can be more important to an individual, e.g. perceived quality of life or life expectancy.

The decision whether to seek pharmacological treatment for what is defined by diagnosis catalogues as psychiatric illness has to be made by each an every person for himself. Ofc every doctor would usually recommend to seek a professional for the respective problem, since that is what the doctrine teaches, but ask medical doctors who have become ill what treatments they have opted to be performed on themselves, how satisfied they are with the results and whether they'd have the same treatments performed again for the same issue. You will be quite surprised.
 
In my country,doctors are the one of the last kinds of people that you would allow to help you.

(Hint:I'm living in a country in which most hospitals have no modern equipment and not even heating system.)
And the psychiatrists(some of them) are as mad as the patients that they are ''attempting'' to treat.

Going to a psychiatrist again is out of the discussion.
 
Well, then I can't suggest strongly enough that you kick off your recovery as soon as possible by quitting all drugs for the foreseeable future.
 
I actualy must agree that not doing any psychoactive substances would be a good idea for you.
Even non addictive drugs can lead your life to destruction when used habitually.

Having a set goal in place is one way to keep yourself in check. I'm quite certain you will not quit taking psychedelics forever; so my suggestion to you is to set a goal for yourself to abstain for a period of time so you can work on your life and your psyche. Do somthing constructive. I keep seeing that you are writing a book; perhaps (as an example) you can hold off on taking any drugs untill you finish your book! This seems to me like it could be a very therapeutic experience. You'll be able to explore your delirium and meditate it's meaning as you write, by the time you finish you should have a stronger in site on what's going on inside your head, which could be alot healthier for you psychologicaly (and physically) than picking up another substance habit. Right off the bat :)
It would alow for a better head space to explore psychedelics again
 
I suggested (in another thread of G's) trying psychedelics as a substitute for poisonous deliriants because they seem like the much lesser of two evils to me in this case, and besides I am kinda hoping that psychedelics will offer you finding yourself as opposed to continuously losing yourself.
But yeah if it's in the cards quitting would be best for you. I do know from experience that most people tend to switch and substitute if only to candy when they kick dope. On the other hand let's not forget that the drugs you are taking do not really cause dependency and not being able to stop using them would in DSM-IV terms still be classified as a substance abuse disorder. Maybe there are chatgroups or selfhelp guides to use. It would help if you would visit our The Dark Side forum where you are bound to get attention - but don't abuse the goodness of those people there so help me buddha.

For now, stop indulging yourself too much by fantasizing about what you could take and combine next and instead actually reflect on this and come up with an answer to why you do not wish to participate in life in other ways that do not involve drugs. The reasons are likely to hurt pretty hard, so that is probably a reason not to use psychedelics and speed through that therapeutic healing too hard because a person can only take so much. I take it that in a delirium you don't really get to visualize your problems and find the potential to change?
 
Perhaps you could write a book about being sober for 10 years. Now there's a noble goal - and far more worthy of an interesting read than just being fucked up all the time. Naked Lunch might have made a good film but have you tried to read it? It's terrible!

What do you say? Are you up for the challenge? I geuss your response will show whether you're for real or just an attention whore troll like we suspect.
 
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Solipsis said:
The reasons are likely to hurt pretty hard, so that is probably a reason not to use psychedelics and speed through that therapeutic healing too hard because a person can only take so much. I take it that in a delirium you don't really get to visualize your problems and find the potential to change?
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Yes,almost every time I become delirious I forget about all of the problems and worries that I've ever had,I'm not even conscious that things like this exist and when I come back from that fantasy world,my main problem is to figure out what happened in that experience,not to think about my reality problems.This keeps me busy and entertained.
 
buildersoftime said:
Perhaps you could write a book about being sober for 10 years. There's a goal. And it might actually be readable.
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I might do that when I'll be too old to trip...
and by saying that I mean 'never!' xD
joking,I'm not yet prepared to do something like that,after maximum 2 months of being sober I become suicidal.
 
He knows me a bit better than you do.
My life is empty without drugs and I hate being sober,he knew that that kind of challenge is too much for me...
 
It's ok...but ... Referring to your op, the tangible perception of oneness is a common theme in my daily life, with drugs or without...you all are...different me's
 
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