Opiate hell PLZ, anyone out there?

[PatM]

Ive gone from oxy to being cut off and now have a (almost) steady supply of codeine(pure w/ no paracetamol) (which just sucks and is causing me some major body and mind issues i think)

was on about 80-100mg oxy a day, then went to rehab (which was pretty much useless bc i dont speak the native language of the country i live in and well, try going through AA and NA in a foreign language, WORST experience of my life, ever.)

left rehab early bc the people were unexperienced idiots who didnt seem to know much about opiates and had more a specialty in alcohol (went there bc i didnt want to be registered in the public system)

had a pretty rought time first few days back home, have a kid, hubby, it was terrible as I was still coming off the (steadily decreasing) dose of oxy they were feeding me in rehab (yeah, thats right, oxy in rehab, and I got to pick my starting dose when I got there based on trust...yeah...idiots)

Anyways i got some codeine from dr as I really DO have pain on the side of i guess, my addiction, (he refused to give me oc after finiding out i opted to go to rehab earlier...went bc i was SICK of them not hearing me when i said my steady dose was not working and not upping it even slightly or even helping me manage my pain whatsoever, and i knew it was killing me bc id lost huge amounts of weight and never ate that much)

and then i got a little oxy here and there for a few months from a diff dr, then he got weireded out that my tolerance was so high and cut me off., so stayed with the codeine everytime i ran out. he told me to just "stop"(w/ oxy) and "handle" the wds myself whatever. it is so hard as i am a 99% caretaker of a kid and have no help from anyone whatsoever no friends no family.

so now as my codeine supply dwindles, and my health declines to shit as i take around 500mg or more a day, i wonder, how to go back..i have become an angry, resentful, bitter asshole and while I lost weight before (while on oxy) i have just completely stopped eating now all together (ate a banana a day ago), barely can keep water in me, and I have to keep going. keep being a parent, keep pretending im ok and i just want to stop the codeine as it does very little for me but I cant. I cant take a day off, i cant just stop. Who will care for my kid? NO ONE.
WTF do i do? I cant just "check in to rehab" as there are NONE, and i am at the poverty line.
i vomit pretty much all day and take more, vomit, whatever goes in comes out and thats why i just gave up on food but really i am going to die. Everyday is a new symptom of my death, and if it werent for the kid I would honestly welcome the escape.

I hate my life, i hate it so much. I was happy and coping on oxy at least, my other issues were seemigly resolved while on it, and at least i ate something..but now, im in a desolate shit hole.
I am in a place where there honestly is NO help. my partner is an idiot and knows nothing about meds like this and is a terrible AWFUL support and not to mention, always gone so nope. I have no family, and no friends. if i go to a hospital for help theyll forever brand me a junkie which will not only effect my future life but my kids.

How can I stop the codeine, any ideas for a plan?(decreasing always seems to fail miserably as I have no support) What is happening to my body right now? Does anyone think that all this has screwed my liver? should i be worried? I have a lot of symptoms of LF..but i dont wanna be paranoide for no reason.

sorry so long, i really hope someone on BL has some advice for me bc i feel like I should just over do it w the codeine and end this bs.

 

[caseface99]

Hi there, Welcome to Bluelight. I'm really sorry to hear how much trouble you are having right now and everything you have been through. Don't lose hope just yet however.

I'm not sure which country you live in, so I don't know about the laws and availability regarding maintenance medications - but Because of the repeated attempts at getting off and failing as well as having a kid and not being able to take a few weeks to get better, I would strongly recommend you talk to a Dr. about buprenorphine - or, I can't believe I'm even saying this but even Methadone if It's the only other option. Both of those have potential to work as painkillers, while making it so that you can get off of the harder opioids without having to take weeks to go through withdrawal. I would strongly recommend doing a lot of research on both of those options first before deciding, and if possible I would choose buprenorphine/suboxone - but again, I don't know what's available to you.

I honestly don't see any other solution based on what you have posted. If you quite literally can not take a couple weeks off to kick and get some help with the kid, This may be the only thing left to do. You can't go on with the oxy and codeine, but of course you already know that. Oxy is a slippery slope 100% of the time and will always inevitably cause problems for people somewhere down the road when prescribed for a long time.

Also, getting off of the oxy and codeine is one thing, staying off is another. You are going to have to find some way of getting support. A therapist perhaps? I'm sure if you went to a local NA or AA meeting you WILL find someone who speaks English and I can almost guarantee they will be willing to help. There is a ton of different literature you can get as well that will help tremendously. I have heard of people in remote areas staying sober with nothing but a big book from NA or AA.

I know things are difficult right now, try to stay positive and keep moving forward. Keep us updated as well. Best of luck!

 

[Kazegami]

Damn, that sucks man. I don't know what country you're in, but there is ALWAYS a support network available with the internet. You just have to look hard enough.

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey PatM and welcome to Blue Light Im going propose some alternative ways of thinking as I think you are looking at some things in ways that may hamper you from getting and staying clean.

Ive gone from oxy to being cut off and now have a (almost) steady supply of codeine(pure w/ no paracetamol) (which just sucks and is causing me some major body and mind issues i think)

was on about 80-100mg oxy a day, then went to rehab (which was pretty much useless bc i dont speak the native language of the country i live in and well, try going through AA and NA in a foreign language, WORST experience of my life, ever.)

left rehab early bc the people were unexperienced idiots who didnt seem to know much about opiates and had more a specialty in alcohol (went there bc i didnt want to be registered in the public system)

although drugs are different the symptoms of addiction and techniques for recovering from it transcends the specific drugs we use. that being said yeah attending rehab in a different language would be tuff. It couldn't be that you left rehab to use again? If I went to rehab it would be to learn how to get and stay free from active addiction.

had a pretty rought time first few days back home, have a kid, hubby, it was terrible as I was still coming off the (steadily decreasing) dose of oxy they were feeding me in rehab (yeah, thats right, oxy in rehab, and I got to pick my starting dose when I got there based on trust...yeah...idiots)

This is typical addict thinking.. If you switch this to another disease, like I went to the hospital to get better from an infection and those idiots didn't make me take the antibiotic so I didn't.. rehab doesn't make you recover it just introduces you to the techniques that have been successful in treating addiction. It is then up to YOU to use these to recover. From your description of where you are at with your addiction I would suggest that you start to look at this the right way.. your in the fight of your life and you are still fighting to stay sick.. best to get real at this point and start fighting to save yourself, not to get sicker.

Anyways i got some codeine from dr as I really DO have pain on the side of i guess, my addiction, (he refused to give me oc after finiding out i opted to go to rehab earlier...went bc i was SICK of them not hearing me when i said my steady dose was not working and not upping it even slightly or even helping me manage my pain whatsoever, and i knew it was killing me bc id lost huge amounts of weight and never ate that much)

every addict wants more and more and has every escuse under the sun why they "need" it. it called rationalizing.. and as addicts we can rationalize all day long why we "need" it but really if it isnt working then the only reason we need it is to get high.

and then i got a little oxy here and there for a few months from a diff dr, then he got weireded out that my tolerance was so high and cut me off., so stayed with the codeine everytime i ran out. he told me to just "stop"(w/ oxy) and "handle" the wds myself whatever. it is so hard as i am a 99% caretaker of a kid and have no help from anyone whatsoever no friends no family.

often times people find themselves with no friends or family because of an addiction.. its really common, So you will need to set up a support network somehow. This is doctor shopping and drs have addicts hit them up for drugs all day long.. addiction doesn't get better it gets worse.. your next step could be to take up herion and then the needle.. could loose your child.. its just the way it goes.. so many people run this same pattern.. hooked on opiates because of pain and then addiction and then tolerance and troubles getting the opiates through the drs and then to smoking herion and then to shooting.. just the way it goes.. the bottom of any whole is when we stop digging

so now as my codeine supply dwindles, and my health declines to shit as i take around 500mg or more a day, i wonder, how to go back..i have become an angry, resentful, bitter asshole and while I lost weight before (while on oxy) i have just completely stopped eating now all together (ate a banana a day ago), barely can keep water in me, and I have to keep going. keep being a parent, keep pretending im ok and i just want to stop the codeine as it does very little for me but I cant. I cant take a day off, i cant just stop. Who will care for my kid? NO ONE.

You need to figure this out or you wont be around for your kid anyway. So instead of making escuses why you need to stay on the drugs why dont you come up with ways to get off the opiates.

WTF do i do? I cant just "check in to rehab" as there are NONE, and i am at the poverty line.
i vomit pretty much all day and take more, vomit, whatever goes in comes out and thats why i just gave up on food but really i am going to die. Everyday is a new symptom of my death, and if it werent for the kid I would honestly welcome the escape.

we as addicts love to "escape" but there comes a time to turn around and face our lives and our problems head on. I think this time has come for you

I hate my life, i hate it so much. I was happy and coping on oxy at least, my other issues were seemingly resolved while on it, and at least i ate something..but now, im in a desolate shit hole.

Please get off the drugs and work slowly to change your life and your thinking so you can find peace and a great life.

I am in a place where there honestly is NO help. my partner is an idiot and knows nothing about meds like this and is a terrible AWFUL support and not to mention, always gone so nope. I have no family, and no friends. if i go to a hospital for help theyll forever brand me a junkie which will not only effect my future life but my kids.

You are a junkie and I am as well but I'm in recovery and my life is going well and getting better.. more excuses as to why can't get help.. more reasons to keep using.. if you let us know where you are we can help you find resources that could help you. Here is a good resource that is available to you rite now as they have online meetings link>> SMART Recovery (Support Group information and discussion)

How can I stop the codeine, any ideas for a plan?(decreasing always seems to fail miserably as I have no support) What is happening to my body right now? Does anyone think that all this has screwed my liver? should i be worried? I have a lot of symptoms of LF..but i dont wanna be paranoide for no reason.

The medications I would explore the use of for detox would be:
>Clonidine< DOSED EVER FOUR HOURS..

one of either
>NEURONTIN< >HERE< >HERE<
OR >Lyrica<
OR >phenibut<

>A BENZO BUT JUST AT NIGHT<
>a nsaid<
>melatonin<
tylenol

you can do this

sorry so long, i really hope someone on BL has some advice for me bc i feel like I should just over do it w the codeine and end this bs.

Pat you can do this.. active addiction is hell and I hope you dont think I was attacking you with my post.. I am not at all. Its just that in active addiction we don't think right and i was just trying to help you see whats really going on. addiction is filled and thrives on delusions, the delusion that we are doing something that is enjoyable, still the delusions we tell ourselves as to why we cant get clean, addiction is really one big delusion. I said what I did out of the hope that you can see past some of the delusions you are facing. I hope that you stop digging now and turn and face this huge challenge. I know it can look hopeless, but its not.. if I can do it so can you It only takes a little while to wander out off hell.. if you choose to make your recovery your number on priority in life then you will soon have a great life free of the drugs that have you as their puppet right now. if you make this your new focus in life then someday real soon you will look around with clear eyes and cry because you will be so proud of your self and happy that you found a place you thought was only a fantasy, you will be at peace. you can do this and Im glad you posted this.. allot allot of people here in recovery on Bluelight that are making amazing progress against this tough fight... so there are tons of good support here. Im sorry for your struggle right now.. time to fight your way out Patm

 

[Bman2]

Pat you can do this.. active addiction is hell and I hope you dont think I was attacking you with my post.. I am not at all. Its just that in active addiction we don't think right and i was just trying to help you see whats really going on. addiction is filled and thrives on delusions, the delusion that we are doing something that is enjoyable, still the delusions we tell ourselves as to why we cant get clean, addiction is really one big delusion. I said what I did out of the hope that you can see past some of the delusions you are facing. I hope that you stop digging now and turn and face this huge challenge. I know it can look hopeless, but its not.. if I can do it so can you It only takes a little while to wander out off hell.. if you choose to make your recovery your number on priority in life then you will soon have a great life free of the drugs that have you as their puppet right now. if you make this your new focus in life then someday real soon you will look around with clear eyes and cry because you will be so proud of your self and happy that you found a place you thought was only a fantasy, you will be at peace. you can do this and Im glad you posted this.. allot allot of people here in recovery on Bluelight that are making amazing progress against this tough fight... so there are tons of good support here. Im sorry for your struggle right now.. time to fight your way out Patm

I agree wholeheartedly, You gotta get over the delusion. Once you hit a certain point with opiates, it's just shitty. Your body wants to tell you that you're gonna feel awesome and all that, but do you REALLY feel awesome? I know I only felt awesome in my early stages of opiate use. That's why its the most dangerous drug in my opinion, because it doesn't humble you with sickness until you're already too far in. It's all groovy until you get to that point where it's complete hell. Day 10 free off sub, still feel like shit, but I know I'm never going back. If you add up the overall joy you can feel in your life from sobriety vs the overall joy you feel in your life as a user, it's no contest. Keep your head up, no pity parties. Just gotta pay your dues and plow through this shit.

Also, I know case recommended buprenorphine. I personally know what it's like to suffer from THAT withdrawal(3x longer than other opiates when you stop). That doesn't mean it wouldn't work for you, because if you can really talk to your doctor and follow a taper plan to the tee, it can help you quit. So that's an option. But personally, I would avoid that. In all honesty, I think the easiest thing would be to ask your doctor for some clonodine. It helps IMMENSELY with withdrawal. But I wouldn't take it every 4 hrs as mentioned above. I only took it twice a day and it still worked wonders. It lowers your blood pressure and makes you pretty tired, so its not something I would take a lot of. I was taking .1 in the mornings and .1 again later in the day. Also, after your first good shit of the day, pop 20-40mg of Imodium. Clonodine + Imodium will make your withdrawals VERY bearable. I have pretty bad withdrawal and those 2 meds in conjuction were relieving 60-90% of the withdrawals. Throw in a Vitamin B supplement, some weed if possible, and melatonin/5htp at night.

 

[missmeyet?]

OP, have you had your liver enzymes checked? If not I would suggest doing it as soon as you can as you are right, some of your symptoms could be a sign of some issues with your liver. Im not trying to worry you or upset you but since you have taken a lot of products that contain APAP (acetaminophen) then it is a possibility and the sooner you find out and can see what can/needs to be done the better off you will be. If that is the cause of a lot of your nausea and vomiting and subsequent weigh loss then the sooner you get it straightened out the sooner you will feel better in that aspect and will stop losing so much weight (especially since you are worried that it might be killing you.

 

[neversickanymore]

I think the easiest thing would be to ask your doctor for some clonodine. It helps IMMENSELY with withdrawal. But I wouldn't take it every 4 hrs as mentioned above. I only took it twice a day and it still worked wonders. It lowers your blood pressure and makes you pretty tired, so its not something I would take a lot of. I was taking .1 in the mornings and .1 again later in the day. Also, after your first good shit of the day, pop 20-40mg of Imodium. Clonidine + Imodium will make your withdrawals VERY bearable. I have pretty bad withdrawal and those 2 meds in conjuction were relieving 60-90% of the withdrawals. Throw in a Vitamin B supplement, some weed if possible, and melatonin/5htp at night.

The Tarascon Pocket Pharmacopeia states for clonidine and opaite withdrawl "0.1 to 0.3 mg PO tid to qid or 0.1 to 0.2 mg PO q 4 h tappering off over days 4 to 10".. the reason I suggest every four hours is that I could set my watch by the fact that I noticed a big large increase in symptoms exactly three 3 hours and 45 minutes after each dose. Also I would not use the loperamide as it is an opiate and does cross the blood brain barrier. So it will decrease your symptoms as taking an opiate will decrease opsite withdrawals. But the thing is that we have to stop antagonizing the opiate receptors to get through the acute and pat acute withdrawal... so antagonizing it with an opiate will slow or prevent the healing. I have watched quite a few people go through withdrawals and its really heart breaking to see a person that uses the loperamide still be struggling weeks and months after a person who started withdrawing at the same time and didn't use the lope is healing nicely and past the acutes. IMO lope is a good thing to stave off withdrawal foe a person who is not trying to get clean and only needs a crutch until other opiates are available or it can be useful for a person who is quite newly physically dependent on opiates and such hasn't activated that many opiat receptors yet. But I feel that Patm is well beyond where i would think that lope would be a pluss in their detox. If she is able to get the GABA then she will likely have a very reasonable detox without it and will get out of the tunnel much quicker. Loperamide Withdrawal

I also totally agree with your thoughts on the suboxone.

 

[Bman2]

My understanding is that Lope only crosses the BBB when taken with quinine. It does not cross the Barrier by itself. You are the first person I have heard say that. Maybe just a super small amount crosses the BBB? But I don't feel like its enough to kill your progress. It's been used successfully with a lot of people as long as you don't take it for longer than a week or 2 TOPS. As far as clonodine dosage, the half life is 12-16 hours, and I personally feel the effects pretty consistently throughout that time. A couple of days, I was able to dose it only once in the morning .1 and I felt it throughout the entire day. To someone that has never taken clonodine, just start at .1 and see how it makes you feel. I really would not start taking that stuff at .3 with such constant re-dosing, just doesn't seem wise. That's putting too much emphasis on the clonodine, it's not meant to kill your withdrawals. I know you know that, but talking about taking .8-1.2mg in a day for anyone short of HARDCORE withdrawal is ill-advised in my opinion. I would max out at .5-.7 per day. Even that is too much for me.

 

[PatM]

Hey thank you so much everyone! i was really shocked so many responded to my long ass post and was so happy i almost cried (but of course the codeine didnt let that happen so, no tears, but its the inner feeling that counts right;-)


@Case- I doubt I could get suboxone...that is only avail to people in the "system" who are supervised with it..and the other one i have but didnt know it til after i remebered id seen those words before on a box of meds i got from old doc to use "instead of" oxy, since i pleaded with them to give me something OTHER THAN oxy after my first operation. dont know if i want more withdrawels tho.. I am in therepy but for a completely different issue, and my therapist is the one giving me the co, so theyre basically my DD. had tried to bring it up a few times in therapy and they got pretty pissed off at me and told me co wasnt addictive like OC so i just shut my trap in fear that their next words would be "well i just wont give it to you then, good luck with that"
NA/AA...I went a couple times whilst in rehab but your right I should try again..the language thing is fucking intimidating...

@Kaze- yeah fucking tell me about it...I know theres something out there..now how to even look it up on google in native lang...thats the hard part...even gtranslate is a pain in the ass

@neversick- I appreciate your help and no doesnt feel attacked, i was surprised at the amount of responses to my post and pretty much had expected none...but i should have as ive been trolling around bluelight for ages just reading, and have finally joined up (logged in after years of not eve) and ive seen how amazingly helpful everyone is here.

I honestly went to rehab thinking it would help me end the cycle, but they were unexperienced in dealing with opiates...and i didnt know that.. I had one sort of buddy there that helped me a lot but then after they left i was just surrounded by people with no idea of what an oxy even IS (if you can believe that! its true!) so yeah it was not happening, sitting in the meetings feeling anxious trying to translate what people were saying etc...then secluding myself somewhere bc of the wds i was in and the sheer anxiety of the lang barrier.

after my second operation they had me sedated feeding me it intravenously..fucked all over again. its hard with the pain tbh, i feel like an addict and tell myself im an addict, and that the pain is imagined bc of the nerves and stuff over sensative after taking so much..but sometimes I wonder. I generally had the belief that pain killers were only for fun (when i was younger) bc ive never actually seen them help anybodys pain and find people just convince themself that it helps their pain. but i do wonder...

thank you for the link to smart ill check it out, and the meds, i have an allergy to a few but the clonidine sounds like a try (if i can convince a dr to give it to me..what is it used for?)
i wont touch the benzos..i have a pretty massive stash of them but i cant. i wont. i just know where it will go. even in my worst withdrawels i didnt touch them so i think i can resist and the not sleeping is alright if it means avoiding another addiction (i think :-D)

Also, I have heard about Lop, and avoided it when i found out its an op. still feeling the clondine med, that one i gotta find/get somehow but NO ONE here deals in meds, like NO ONE.

GABA is prescription only, Melatonin is prescription only ;-( high doubts my dr will give me either with out a super good reason.

@Bman2- I have some buprenorphine patches..i just didnt know i did bc it was written in tiny letters under the brand name on the box. (we get the pharmacy boxes/bottles here, no pharmacist needed to fill the scripts)
I am really considering the clondine after youve mentioned it again..now the trouble is getting a hold of it....

@missme-Havent had liver checked, it will be a fight to get that test unless the dr sees "why" i want it and agrees...and i cant tell them about ANY of this. I dont take anything containing acetaminophen or APAP or paracetamol. it is PURE codeine. small tablets.


thank you anything else you guys think of or can tell me I would SO appreciate it! I wish I could say where I was located..but I honestly cant risk someone reading this and knowing how much struggle I have, bc of my kid too..i could lose them.

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey PatM if you click on anything that is blue it is a link and all the medications I listed I linked for you so you can find all the information on the meds by doing this. IMO if you go into see a physician and tell them what you are trying to do they should have little or no problems scripting you the medications I listed. Also the Phenibut is available online. The clonidine is a traditionally a blood pressure medication but it blocks the adrenals which spike in withdrawal.

You can do this.

 

[Bman2]

Also, I have heard about Lop, and avoided it when i found out its an op. still feeling the clondine med, that one i gotta find/get somehow but NO ONE here deals in meds, like NO ONE.

I know it's kind of my word against his as far as the Lope goes in THIS thread. But If you're really suffering, I would not dismiss it. Go do some additional research on it. It saves my life in withdrawal, im tellin you it does not kill my progress just because it's an opiate. If the mass of doctors REALLY cared about your health over money, I truly believe they would use something like Lope in their practice. I mean it's the only drug I can think of that binds to receptors without knocking you back. There's a good chance that those who aren't experiencing good results from lope have been on it for too long and have developed a dependency, which ultimately seems like an extension of withdrawal. I know 'neversick' has helped me in another thread, I certainly appreciate his input and clearly he knows a lot. But until I hear a little more from him to justify why he said that lope crosses the BBB, I personally would disagree. No offense, just 99% of the internet posts I'VE seen say differently. If there's something I'm missing, please explain. Don't want to beat anyone up, I just want Pat to walk outta here with the right knowledge on what he needs to use to help him. Lope was a godsend to help me get through the worst of withdrawal. Just take a shit before you take them lol.

edit - Sorry 'neversick', I honestly don't mean to insult, rather offer another perspective. You give many good words of advice.

 

[neversickanymore]

No Insult taken.. the reason threads are so powerful I think is that with the views and opinions of all that post I think we are able to come to the best way of addressing and dealing with a situation. I agree that the OP would be allot better off on Lope than on codeine. But it does cross the blood brain and contrary to the statement im about to quote it does cause dependence. It really comes down to a choice IMO weather a person wants to take something that can lessen the withdrawal but is likely to make them last longer and has the real potential of switching their dependency to the Lope. In my short time on bluelight I have seen quite a few people end up trading their opiat DOC to LOPE and then have to kick the lope. But yes I have also seen people use it successfully as well. The majority of the people I have seen use it with success where people who had really small or short lived physical dependence. The majority of people I have seen try and use it for large habits end up still struggling long after they would have been in the clear and a whole bunch end up dependent on the lope. This isn't the worst thing in the world because people who had trouble tapering on the other opiates seem to be able to taper more easily on the LOPE cause it really doesn't get you high.

"Ability to cross the blood–brain barrier
It is a misconception that loperamide does not cross the blood–brain barrier. Loperamide does cross this barrier, although it is immediately pumped back out into non–central nervous system (CNS) circulation by P-glycoprotein. While this mechanism effectively shields the CNS from exposure (and thus risk of CNS tolerance/dependence) to loperamide, many drugs are known to inhibit P-glycoprotein and may thus render the CNS vulnerable to opiate agonism by loperamide.[9]" >source<

"it is a misconception that loperamide does not cross the blood–brain barrier. Loperamide does cross the blood brain barrier (BBB), although it is immediately pumped back out into non–central nervous system (CNS) circulation. Therefore, it is not considered to have a high potential for abuse." >source<

This is a topic thats currently being debated.. so there will be allot of places that claim it doesn't and some that claim it does.. since i know for a fact that people become dependent on it I am on the it crosses side of the fence at this point.

If it doesn't bond with the opiate receptors in the brain then how does it work that well for withdrawal and why do people become dependent on it?


Edit: Actually addicted to Loperamide

 

[Bman2]

Interesting... So it looks like there's some brief exposure to the BBB, but it's not there for enough time for it to do anything and then 'P-glycoprotein' shields it from the CNS. So technically we're both right in a sense. It DOES cross the BBB but I don't think it's going to worsen anything or push you back until you hit the point of dependency from long time use. Ofcorse "long time" use isn't really that long, wouldn't take lope for more than a week and stay at a relatively low dose like 15-35mg, decrease slightly each day. I think that's a pretty safe approach. I've used it with success in the past. I didn't allow myself to go crazy with the lope like some people who take hundreds of mg's and stay on it for weeks. So like you said, those with a massive habbit struggle with dependency because they are most likely forcing themselves to take so much more than they should. But even then, if you're really someone who has a massive opiate addiction, I think diarrhea medicine would be a fair trade off.

If it doesn't bond with the opiate receptors in the brain then how does it work that well for withdrawal and why do people become dependent on it?

It binds to receptors in the gut wall. So it's hitting SOME of the receptors allowing for SOME relief.

 

[PatM]

Thank you everyone , again my dr is still my dd but hell im still alive so i guess thats progress*

 

[PatM]

Hey everyone , dr giving me codeine cut me off finally. Said to shut up and deal with it. I'm on day 3 and here with my kid. So far I feel like I'd be better if I never live I can't see to control my temper. Dr fuck head wouldn't even hear me asking about something to help the wds. So I got nothing. I just hope I don't kill myself if permanently damage my kid. Bc so far their pretty afraid of me as I've had a hair trigger temper and 0 patience for the usual kid stuff. Ugh, what's the point of this. The next year/years of depression are just going to turn my kid into a grown up with issues and it'll be my fault. Hiw do I deal with this when I am literally going insane? The only available relief is alcohol... And I'm not a drinker, ever. And after 1 beer I'm wasted but wake up after an hour sweating and shaking in bed then kid wakes up a few hours later.
Also think I've ruined my treatment with said dr bc of the pill stuff which to me has always been secondary to our work but apparently he's said it's "dominated" our work. Is bullshit. Fuck guys , what's after this? Years of dark depression? Be honest, so I don't waste my time staying alive and torturing other people around me.

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey PAT Im sorry to hear that.

Medications to detox

NSFW:

medications for acute opiate detox

The medications I would explore the use of for detox would be:
>Clonidine< DOSED EVER FOUR HOURS..

one of either
>NEURONTIN< >HERE< >HERE<
OR >Lyrica<
OR >phenibut<

>A BENZO BUT JUST AT NIGHT<
>a nsaid<
>melatonin<
tylenol

(Opi Withdrawal) what is the best comfort meds for opiate w/d?

Your Personal Opiate Withdrawal Arsenal

No it gets better quick and there are many things you can do to make it better and to heal quicker.

 

[Rubinator]

You can do this, Pat!

 

[PatM]

So, after the oh so familiar pain returned and crippled me to ruin, he did some "tests" (I dunno blood pressure, looked in my eyes, a physical exam) and determined that I wasn't bsing and gave me a little tiny bit to help out. Feel much better now, sadly I know it's only a bit of time before I'm where I was again. I went 5 days with out. 5 horrible days and then the worst pain (almost like pre-op) came rushing back and left me on my hand and knees not moving. Conveinient? Probably. I asked him if it was just withdrawels and he gave me an angry look and said "No, i know what im doing". (LoLoLolol) But I'm not screaming at my kid and I can use a lot less and still get a good effect. Trying to keep it "under control". But we all know how quickly that ends in these situations. Doing okay, thinking of sending it out with my partner so I don't go overboard, as I can't control myself at all with or with out pain. Already taken double what I should have, and feel numb again. I was quite enjoying having my memory back whilst sobering up.
How bad will it be when I run out in a few days and have to wait another week for a refill? Anyone know? I'm using about 10, 30mg codeine a day.
Also i used some coke during wds a day after I posted I think and the following day (not a regular user, last time I used I was 17, its been a while) to help speed up things and it seemed quite effective both for lifting my mood and distracting me) It was low grade and I did leJunks method on it to clean it first. No worries with getting hooked on it, I am terrified of coke and really don't enjoy the quick and speedy hi. Not even the euphoria is as I like it to be. Ended up giving the rest of the gram away bc it just wasn't my thing really. Seemed to make wds way worse but I felt much better the following day than I had been. So, anyone know how bad ill be feeling after about 3 days to 5 w nothing again after taking the above amount? Have I really f'd up here?

 

[PatM]

Update, new doc, told them my problems,stuck on oc again anyways bc Im in pain, despite being an addict. Have stopped abusing and started taking orally and as directed . Have kept this up since a week after my last post. New doc helps manage my intake very well. No alcohol, no other supplementaries. While sad that I'm on this crap again, happy that I'm not abusing and don't plan to go back. It's amazing what a little caring from a doctor will do. Caring with out judgement, looking past a past like mine and staying totally involved when these meds are concerned. It's been enough to get me on a good path. And have even cut my dose down to 20mg a day. Mentally, I know at any point I could go overboard again. But being trusted, and treated like a human being, gives me the strength I need to stay straight. Once an addict always an addict? I don't know about that... Why do you all think?

 

[T. Calderone]

Once an addict, always an addict, that's true. You're not abusing them now and that's a positive sign. You just never know when the addict will come tap you on the shoulder again. Be careful Pat. I'm glad you're in a better place and thanks for the update!