I get kind of crazy with my girlfriend

[Moshii]

We've been on and off for 7 years. When we first started dating I was jealous of the guys she talked to, and how she talked to them and stuff like that. They'd flirt with her, and she would say nothing about it, and it got to points where dudes actually thought she wanted them. Now, this happened all the time when we first started dating, and probably why I got jealous, or felt threatened I guess and became "crazy". I would blow up on people who I thought were flirting with her, and nearly hurt a few others. I moved away for awhile, because of some trouble I got into here, and when I came back, we got back together, and I had lost most of my jealousy, and chilled down. Up until she mentioned that some guy she met. She told me they were talking, and friends. She had been telling him things about our relationship, like about our fights, and god knows what else. But he started flirting with her, and she claims she doesn't know when someone is flirting with her, or just being nice. So I read some of the messages between them, and he was sincerely trying to put the moves on her. To which she went along with. And he started wanting to swap pictures, and connect on social media sites. When I asked her why he would think that he had a chance, and why he would think that she wanted to be more than friends, especially since she told me she told him she was and had been in a long going relationship, she got mad, and stopped talking to me. I let her cool off, and tried talking to her the next day, but she was still mad, so I just asked her to stop talking to this guy, and she told me she didn't want to talk about him, or "take any requests" on the matter.

Should I be worried? Or am I just overly jealous and crazy.

She also bailed on our trip to chicago in a few weeks.

 

[LuGoJ]

We've been on and off for 7 years. When we first started dating I was jealous of the guys she talked to, and how she talked to them and stuff like that. They'd flirt with her, and she would say nothing about it, and it got to points where dudes actually thought she wanted them. Now, this happened all the time when we first started dating, and probably why I got jealous, or felt threatened I guess and became "crazy". I would blow up on people who I thought were flirting with her, and nearly hurt a few others. I moved away for awhile, because of some trouble I got into here, and when I came back, we got back together, and I had lost most of my jealousy, and chilled down. Up until she mentioned that some guy she met. She told me they were talking, and friends. She had been telling him things about our relationship, like about our fights, and god knows what else. But he started flirting with her, and she claims she doesn't know when someone is flirting with her, or just being nice. So I read some of the messages between them, and he was sincerely trying to put the moves on her. To which she went along with. And he started wanting to swap pictures, and connect on social media sites. When I asked her why he would think that he had a chance, and why he would think that she wanted to be more than friends, especially since she told me she told him she was and had been in a long going relationship, she got mad, and stopped talking to me. I let her cool off, and tried talking to her the next day, but she was still mad, so I just asked her to stop talking to this guy, and she told me she didn't want to talk about him, or "take any requests" on the matter.

Should I be worried? Or am I just overly jealous and crazy.

She also bailed on our trip to chicago in a few weeks.

Doesn't sound too good to be honest. You mentioned that you read her messages? You mean you logged into her email or starting going through her texts without her knowledge? That's usually a pretty good sign that a relationship is doneso.

 

[Pagey]

I think you probably need a break from this relationship for both of your sakes. She might be telling you the truth about this guy, she might not, but quite frankly I don't think it matters that much because realistically, aren't you going to believe something's going on between them regardless of what she/the facts might tell you? It sounds like she'd never really given you any viable reason to suspect infidelity so I'd take the fact that you did to that extent, as proof that you probably need to work some things out with yourself before you're really ready to continue this (/any) relationship. I'm sorry if that comes out as harsh but I think it's probably best to hear it.
I used to have jealousy issues and what really helped me what just to improve my self-confidence. I took some time off from all relationships and worked on improving my relationship with myself, feeling better about myself physically/mentally/emotionally etc, and I like to think I've gotten rid of the very big majority of those issues by now. It really is worth a shot for your future happiness.

 

[LuGoJ]

I took some time off from all relationships and worked on improving my relationship with myself, feeling better about myself physically/mentally/emotionally etc

This is such an important thing to do yet so many people just run from relationship to relationship without giving any time for personal growth in between.

 

[Animal Mother]

Leave.

She's allowing him to continue flirting because she at least wants the attention.

When most normal people are in a relationship, they shut down their attempts for attention. People who don't are keeping their options open in case something better comes along.

 

[floatingaround]

Such good advice in here. Pagey is spot on.

 

[pofacedhoe]

i couldn't cope with that

either your together or your not

someone that needs jealousy is not attractive to me. when people want to be desired from multiple angles all the time i get bored of them

 

[Factin]

Leave.

She's allowing him to continue flirting because she at least wants the attention.

When most normal people are in a relationship, they shut down their attempts for attention. People who don't are keeping their options open in case something better comes along.

Your right. You don't have to suffer like that.

 

[teological]

Out of all comments here, Animal Mother has hit the hammer on the head.

Look bro, let me give you one piece of advice that has NEVER lead me astray. If she gets "mad" and "angry" at a situation that does not really warrant that sort of behavior, she is guilty of something and she knows it...trust me.

 

[floatingaround]

So badly I want to email my ex and quote replys from this thread. Ahh it won't do any good, but maybe she will understand..then again she was never wrong so theres probabaly no point now.