Establishing or Re-Establishing trust with your dealer.
Okay, so I just recently lost my hook-up of over a year due to a bunch of stuff he thinks that is not at all true and I'm wondering if there's anything you can do to re-establish trust. I'll try and explain and keep it short but basically I met this guy through an acquaintance when I first moved to the city. At first I only called him once in a while for blow, as that was pretty much all he sold; but more recently, he's branched out into other products; one of those being heroin. Now I can't possibly stress enough how awesome of a dealer this dude was. Incredibly consistent, incredibly reliable and always delivered right to my place within the hour. No matter how much or how little I was buying and he was a super nice guy. Recently I'd been buying from him quite often, 3-4 times a week and everything seemed just fine. I must note; however, that he has been binging on K pretty hard for the last while. He ended up in the hospital recently with bladder problems from it and I noticed a definite change in his personality. The last few times he delivered to me, he was convinced that someone was following him, or that the vehicle parked in the parking lot was a fed. He called me right after dropping off one night, asking if this one particular vehicle that was parked there was always there. I told him I had no idea and he kind of freaked out, thinking he was going to be rolled on that night.
Anyway, long story short, the last time I called him, just over a week ago. He called me back when he was here, like always but this time insisted that we go to the back of the building, so I did. He stayed on the line and just as he was pulling up, this BMW SUV parked literally right in front of me and he kind of freaked again. " That fucking BMW! I swear to god man, every time I come to you someone's following me". I asked if he'd rather meet across the street by wal-mart where he could just pick me up and he agreed. Well I got there and he was nowhere to be found so I called him. Basically he said how he had a bad feeling that night and didn't really want to meet. Now I'll admit, I should have left it at that but I was really starting to jones so I played the whole "come on maaann, you're already here just come grab me". Well he did and then he just went off saying how he wanted out of the business and hated it and all the people and all this shit. Talking about wanting to kill every cop and etc. etc. He was extremely paranoid and I tried to calm him down saying shit like "dude they're not after you ALL the time" and he just said they were and that I had no idea. Said he was going to go home, do his last mountain of K and that would be it. I just kinda went along with it, waiting for him to drop me off. He was obviously high as fuck.
Well, he pulled over and I reached for my money and he just said "no, I don't have it". After a minute of wondering if he was serious or not I got out, extremely agitated and confused. I called him right back to try and really figure out what was going on "Why would you come all the way here and have me run around to meet you if you don't have anything?" He basically said he wanted to tell me in person that he was done. That he threw my shit out cause he was paranoid and it was the last of it. Well, I bought it. Wished him best of luck and that was that.
The next day was New Years Eve and I was calling around everywhere to try and find some blow but to no avail. I figured ah, what the hell and texted my guy one last time. "Hey man, really sorry to bug you again but do you know anyone who could maybe hook me up with girls tonight? New years eve and all..." were my exact words. He replied saying no and he wanted to detach himself from drugs and not to call him again. I said something along the lines of "Okay, sorry man. Hope your 2014 is a better year"
Now this is where shit hits the fan. He texted immediately back saying "I know you're working with the cops. Fucking asking me to hook you up with girls, every time you call you want something different, did you really think I wouldn't catch on? Let me tell you something, you don't have what it takes. Just because your fucking life is ruined doesn't mean dick to me, maybe the next guy you trap will fall for your shit but I'm smarter than the cops and I won't let you or them ruin my chance for success. Even a 3 year jail term will only make me mad. Mad people hurt others. Best play nice."
These were his exact words and the last words I've heard from him and I was pretty much in disbelief... Didn't help that I was high as fuck on M so I texted back very nicely, just trying to figure out what it was I did to make him suddenly not trust me but he just never replied. Then the next day I sent a huge, not-so-nice text because yeah, I was PISSED. And extremely offended that he could even think that. You fucking don't lay accusations like that on someone without any legitimate reason. That's worse than a cop, that's a cops bitch. Basically I said he's the only person standing in the way of his success; that if he wsas wrong about me, it was only a matter of time before he was wrong about something else and THAT would be his downfall but again, no reply. I'm thinking he just ditched his phone right after saying that shit, which sucks ass.
I dunno, deep down I know there's really nothing I can do. Even if I could get a hold of him, how could I ever get him to trust me again? It's not even about the drugs anymore. The fact that the best dealer I've ever had thinks I'm some yellow-belly cock sucker snitch really eats at me and even if he never sold to me again, I'd really like to just meet up and hash this shit out. Person to person rather than dealer to customer.
Anyway, thanks for letting me rant. Probably just have to let it go
