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Sex lacking after MDMA (relationship issue)

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mdmazing74

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Dec 18, 2013
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I posted this the other day but got banned for adding content that wasn't allowed. There were some really good responses and I'm hoping whoever responded could repost? Thank you to admin for allowing me back in and I apologize for accidentally breaking rules. There was one person who gave me the name of a less harmful alternative that I really wanted to look into so if who ever it was could let me know I would really appreciate it! thanks everyone!


My husband and I tried mdma for the first time a couple years ago, we coupled it with viagra every time so he could get an erection since molly made that impossible and let me tell you that these nights were the best thing I've ever felt in my life. We would buy a couple grams of molly and a couple ounces of weed and our night would start. Alone, no clubs, no friends, no alcohol just me,him, molly and weed.

My feelings for molly are now mixed because of the immense, unsurpassed pleasure we've experienced on those nights and my now lack of desire for regular sex! Molly coupled with my husband has shown me pleasure that only existed in my wildest dreams! He just devours me for hours and hours, I'm talking our record is a solid 24 hours of sex! With the viagra in him he has learned to stay hard on molly and not cum while we go at it for generally 12-18 hours when do this.

We'll touch and caress, hold each other as tight as possible, he will slide inside of every part of me that he can for hours open hours until sometimes it's hard for me to close my legs they've been open for so long and my throat is raw and I still want more! What we do is go at it for maybe 2-3 straight hours and then head into the bathroom and sit on the floor on blankets for a break which consists of maybe an hour of smoking weed, talking, cooling off, hydrating with water and gatorade and then back the bed for another 2-3 hours of him inside me and we repeat this same process over and over until before we know it 12-24 hours is gone and we're still begging for more! We've done this a few times a month for the past two years.

We've been together since we were 15, we're 39 now and we've always had an amazing and exciting sex life anyway but found ourselves struggling to recover from some problems for the past several years. Molly has helped us both open up, sort out deep rooted things and find a way to move past some pretty intense problems. I will say that without the help of molly we probably would have divorced. The deep, emotion and intense things we've been able to talk about on these nights is something that 10 years of one on one with the best therapist in the world would not have done, it's been miraculous to say the least. I mean we've literally had the most romantic, sexiest moments talking to each other gently about certain things while he's inside me for hours. He had an affair before all this and I was able to hear about it, ask questions and get answers all while being comforted with him holding, caressing, and deep inside me. It allowed us to figure out why the affair happened, helped me to cope and us to give each other attention we hadn't for a long time.

My problem? Well my husband can hardly get an erection on his own now in between these sessions and our sex life had become almost non-existent in between because we'd get our fill a couple to several times a month of these 12-24 hour sessions of magical, dream like making love and neither of us really desired regular sex too much and when we do it's over in like 5 minutes when before molly we'd go .5 - 1.5 hours each time we were together a few times week at least! It's not that making love doesn't feel good without it, I love it that way too, I love him just as much but now that I've had this devour me, can't get enough of me, can't tell me enough how much he loves me, love making for hours on end....normal 5-15 minute love making sessions just leave me frustrated longing for more and more like I've become used to on molly nights.

My husband read about the long term damage molly does to the brain etc and now he wants to stay away from it for about a year to allow his parts to become normal again, we find that a month or so without it and he's starting to be able to get hard like he used to, get morning wood again etc. so he wants to stay away from it for a while. I don't feel that way. I feel frustrated, and panicked at the thought of not being able to be that way with him for a year, I can't stop thinking about it. I mean if I could put into words the way it feels, like nothing else ever has or I'm sure ever will! The intense feelings of desire stronger than when you just start having sex with someone for the first time and you can't get enough of them, stronger and better than most people have felt in their wildest dreams, this I'm sure of.

So I say to all the people who have wondered if their sex life will be ruined after a night of having it on MDMA if you are doing it with a person you're madly in love with, the answer is YES! It's like opening Pandora's box. Once you experience this with someone you're madly in love with, trust me you will NEVER feel anything better, you can never go back. Though it's fixed problems I've had since childhood that nothing helped me conquer, I would say don't take a bite of the apple.

I used to get so excited over just a normal night we planned on making love now I just feel mad at him that he can't go that long, doesn't devour me like he's never wanted anything more, doesn't whisper how beautiful I am and how good I feel, or pull me so tight it's like he never wants to let go. It's just normal love making and I miss the way he makes me feel on those nights so badly that I want to cry on a regular basis because it has to go away.

I do not have an addictive personality, not cigarettes, not alcohol, not shopping, not anything have I ever had this problem with in my life! I could walk away from anything and not care but this has a grip like the devil on me, the pleasure it has given me is just too much that nothing will ever compare. I spent my entire life free of drugs I had never even so much as tried weed until I was 32 and now I feel like some kind of loser who is addicted to the feeling I get from my husband when we are bonding and making love on molly. It's not the molly...for instance I have no desire to do it without him, it's the way he treats me and the way we make each other feel when on it.

My advice for anyone is it may save your marriage, yes it may heal your emotional problems that you've never been able to conquer and if you're head over heals in love with the person you're doing it with, trust me it will amplify everything about that love a million times, you will never experience anything like it. I mean I want him so bad that I actually want to drink him dry when we're like that because the love and desire to be close is great! So you have this to look forward to, but in exchange be ready to give up any magic that making love has ever given you because you'll never be able to compare to what you'll go through on molly.

I am at a loss as to what to do. I am terrified I will never really enjoy normal love making again and always just be longing for that beyond dreams magic I have on those nights.
 
I don't really know what to say about this one so I'm going to leave it to others with experience on the female side of things. I didn't really have a problem with going back to "regular" sex after going on rolling rampages other than being bored with regular sex and needing more kink involved from then on but that was just because I finally was letting my freak flag fly and wasn't about to take it back down and lock it away again.

It may very well be different for women though so I'm curious to see where this goes.
 
One Thousand Words said:
12-18 hrs of sex?

Wow you must have a vagina like a catches mitt.
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Actually no I don't. It's really quite nice. You just have to know how to be with a woman correctly so maybe you don't??? We go slowly, gently and keep a bottle of warm coconut oil in the bed to keep everything constantly slippery and nice. Then there's the small breaks and the oral sex so it's not a solid 18 hours of dry humping some nasty vagina. There always has to be one rude, ignorant one in the bunch so I expect no less!
 
I said nothing about the leather being nasty, just worn in.

Did you ever consider the over use of viagra as the cause of your partners erectile dysfunction?
 
I posted in your previous thread about 2C-B, which is a strong psychedelic-empathogen with a very pronounced erotic effect. It's not known to be neurotoxic and the high somewhat resembles MDMA but with a heavy psychedelic twist. It's not a very mental psychedelic but very visual and physical so if you or your husband don't really feel comfortable with tripping know that it's not as ego-dissolving as LSD or Mushrooms(especially considering the dose you would take if you just wanted to have outrageous sex sessions as opposed to full on tripping). It also has the added bonus of not interfering with erections and orgasms so your husband can lay off the excessive viagra.

With that said, I think you might want to listen to your husband and take a break from crazy drug fuelled sex so you can rekindle the fire of sober sex. Do you really want to be dependent on hard drugs to enjoy sex with your husband, and by extension, enjoy your marriage? doesn't sound very healthy to me at all.
 
While I would normally never link to an article in a paper as biased as Daily Mail, this is actually quite a decent article on the dangers of taking Viagra when you don't need it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...umber-young-men-t-cope-little-blue-pills.html

One Thousand Words may well be onto something about the Viagra causing problems. If your husband doesn't normally need it and was just abusing it in order to mix it with MDMA (which by itself is a very dangerous act, just to point that out - people have died from that combination) and have sex, he may well have caused himself to have erectile dysfunction induced by Viagra.

As for the "safer" alternative that you are referring to, I remember it being 2C-B that was recommended. 2C-B is a psychedelic drug and not simply a sexual enhancer. 2C-B is said to be erotic but it does not have the physical effect of increasing blood flow to the penis like Viagra so it is unlikely that you will be able to have any marathon sex on it. Mixing it with Viagra would likely be more dangerous than mixing MDMA with Viagra.

EDIT: badrobot beat me to it about 2C-B. Badrobot also has a point regarding sober sex.
 
I don't think we need to jump the gun here and assume worst case scenarios when it's not warranted. Sounds like her husband is functioning well with all things considered so it's unlikely any permanenet damage was done. I do agree you should stop this chronic abuse of Viagra though, it's gonna have consequences sooner or later.
 
badrobot114 said:
I don't think we need to jump the gun here and assume worst case scenarios when it's not warranted. Sounds like her husband is functioning well with all things considered so it's unlikely any permanenet damage was done. I do agree you should stop this chronic abuse of Viagra though, it's gonna have consequences sooner or later.
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Well she had this in her original post.

Well my husband can hardly get an erection on his own now in between these sessions and our sex life had become almost non-existent in between because we'd get our fill a couple to several times a month of these 12-24 hour sessions of magical, dream like making love and neither of us really desired regular sex too much and when we do it's over in like 5 minutes when before molly we'd go .5 - 1.5 hours each time we were together a few times week at least!
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I think its logical to assume that something, either physical or psychological, is at play when the husband now goes a few minutes when he would go half an hour to an hour and a half before they started doing this.

I doubt its irreversible but I think he has the right idea about being sober for awhile.
 
I am happy you made a new thread. I had noticed this had disappeared and I had planned on making a reply.

My situation with regards to empathogen use is very similar to yours. My wife and I use it solely for that purpose of breaking down resentments and rebuilding our bond. We are even the exact same age as you and your husband. 1974 Baby! :D

The first thing I would like to point out is that you need to make sure what you are getting is what you think it is. You need to obtain a Marquis reagent test kit to confirm your subtance. Much of what goes around as "molly" is not MDMA but is a similar chemical known as Methylone. I have done plenty of both. For nights in I even prefer Methylone most of the time. It is a little more sexual than MDMA in my experience plus it doesn't give me the suicide Tuesday. The key difference in the two is the amount of serotonin that is released. Methylone releases less than MDMA. The important thing with regards to your husbands concern is that studies have shown that Methylone is less harmful to your brain than MDMA.

You stated you were using 2-3 times a month. That is much too frequent. You are making yourself vulnerable to the very side effects your post lets on about.

As far as the major downside of the diminished desire for sex without empathogen use is concerned there is some truth to this. Once you have experienced sex on an empathogen it is difficult to let it go. Its a truly psyche shifting experience. I will say that unlike you I have been using empathogens in this regard since I was in my early twenties. Back then it didn't have near the negative rebound effect that it does now at times. I am quite certain that has a great deal to do with hormones. Those high testosterone levels we had in our twenties have been on a steady decline all these years. Perhaps your husband should have his T levels checked. It could be that the impotence is related to this. Certainly I would posit that reduced hormone levels play a part in both of your diminished desire for sex without drug use both with respects to the before and after. When we use these empathogens at our age it brings back that powerful lust that we took for granted in our younger years. In the mans case he is grateful for getting those feelings again and in the woman's case she is grateful for being lusted after once more. Empathogens are known to influence the hormone oxytocin which is where the empathy likely comes from. It is my theory that it also has an effect on prolactin and maybe even testosterone.

There are some things you can do to alleviate the problems you have created with frequent use. I would suggest both of you get some exercise at the gym. This can boost the testosterone levels and when you begin to see the changes in your body it increases self esteem which in turn will increase libido. If your husband continues to have his problem I would strongly suggest seeing a doctor about HRT. I have been on for two years and it has been awesome for me. Also get some fish oils in your diet and study up on other supplements you can use to bring back your serotonin levels. Also you need to have some respect for this substance. Use it like a shaman uses a sacred sacrament. If you disrespect it then it will show you things about yourself you may not want to see. I would say between 4-6 times a year is a reasonable usage schedule. Your husband does need to respect the fact that you may not be ready to leave this alone for 12 months. You two let the genie out of the bottle together and it isn't to have one person make the sole decision of shutting it down (my opinion some may disagree).

As for the 2c-b I will say I have been on a tour of all of the so called "erotic" psychedelics. While I have had some good experiences none of them ever came close to the empathy fueled lust that an empathogen/entactogen such as MDMA/Methylone provides.

I am glad you posted this. I had fun reading it and seeing other folks going through the same things my wife and I have and do. We have our little disagreements on frequency of use too. You are not alone by any means. ;)
 
badrobot114 said:
I don't think we need to jump the gun here and assume worst case scenarios when it's not warranted. Sounds like her husband is functioning well with all things considered so it's unlikely any permanenet damage was done. I do agree you should stop this chronic abuse of Viagra though, it's gonna have consequences sooner or later.
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Thank you all so much for all this help and information! Yes we have not rolled for a little over a month now and he is beginning to function, he's starting to get erections on his own and we are beginning to have more frequent sex and it's starting to last a little longer so I really believe he will be ok in time.

The problem in sex drive is really more with me than him. He's always willing if I ask, but I rarely want to anymore because of the lack of so much of what I love about the those mdma nights that is lacking in a normal nights now. I don't really know how to get passed it. I had a long talk with him last night. See, our whole relationship my sex drive has been through the roof and I am always the one chasing him I guess you could say. He never really did things like touch my face, pull me in tight, tell me he wants me or do much to make me feel really desired. Sometimes we'd have amazing encounters where I'd feel wanted and needed but not for many years. He spent most of our relationship unhappy with my body, and not showing much desire towards me. As soon as MDMA came into the picture my wildest dreams came true. He pulls me in to him, will lay right on top of me directly, (on normal nights if we're in missionary he stays up on his arms with about a foot in between us which I don't care for, I like to get very close and personal) he holds the back of my head and kisses me for hours and most normal nights he'll barely kiss me at all. I never feel wanted on normal nights really. I long and yearn to feel him want me the way he does on those nights but it's just not in him really. It's like I am in love with two people, the one that fills my wildest dreams sexually when on MDMA, and the one I love on normal days but long to feel more from.

I guess I lived in denial all these years and just accepted our sex life for what it was because I didn't know better but now that I've tasted this side of him that pulls me in tight, kisses me, whispers the most sensual things a girl could hear in my ear and just can't get enough of me it's hard to get into silent, no kissing, extended arms up above me sex. He says that he stays up like that cause it's more comfortable physically for him that way. I feel like I'm in mourning knowing that I won't feel desired, like that again for 10 months or so. I am frantic over it. I know it sounds crazy but I waited years to feel anything like this and now I don't know how to live without it. I find myself in tears over the loss.

I guess in a sense this problem goes way deeper than mdma, the mdma just gave me a taste of what I've always dreamed of. The reality is that I can't make him want me the way he is on those night now anymore than I could before mdma.

Maybe getting my body in better shape will make him show me that he desires me again. I just don't how I'm going to get through until it happens. I miss that side of him so much already that it literally hurts.


p.s thank you Section813 for all of that, it did make me feel a bit better, glad to know someone understands. And One Thousand Words sorry to misunderstand.
 
I went ahead and moved this to SLR, it seems better suited for here than mED and will probably get more attention here than it will in mED.
 
mdmazing74 said:
Also, now that I have done it this much and if it was cathinone OR even MDMA, how long do you suppose it will take me to get past this need and intense desire for it and to normalize again after 2 years of frequent use at high doses?
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I don't think it matters if it was a cathinone or MDMA or anything else at this point - it sounds like you have a psychological need for your husband to be like he is when you are high together all the time. That's a relationship problem which likely will need some sort of therapy to overcome. It is possible that your relationship with your husband will never be the same. That's a risk that we take when we take drugs with our partners. I can tell you that if I never rolled with my ex, my ex would have been an ex much quicker and it wouldn't have had such a disastrous ending.

I can say the same for another relationship that I had as well as one of my best friends who I used to roll with all the time. Being intoxicated with each other sets a level of expectation that sobriety just can't seem to measure up to and it can be the catalyst that causes a complete breakdown of a relationship - on the flipside, it can be the best thing to ever happen to a relationship. It really depends on what ends up being the focus when you're high. Quite often, it turns to lovemaking, and at that point, you're opening Pandora's Box, for better or worse. I would seek out therapy, it might be the best thing for the two of you at this point.
 
ummm mdma does make you horny but 12+ hours sounds like amphetamine/meph to me

and mdma sex is great but i enjoy sex without it. honestly if you want drug based intimacy sex cannabis is far more reasonable and can be incorporated into life without messing your mood up and its a pretty intense sexual enhancer

mdma damage is not really known for sure in humans one way or the other, a lot of it is serotonin receptor downregulation which takes ages before your back to where you were. people heal after caining mdma but it takes time and that means abstinence

if you believe you have been damaged and cannot be fixed that can be self fulfilling and its a negative attitude based in speculation that will not do you any good
 
Thank you for that response. I don't believe I've been damaged at all personally I feel exactly the same as I did before I ever tried it. My husband is the one who's all doom and gloom that he has problems cause he's constantly reading about all the damage mdma does to you and he thinks he has all of it. Other than the erection issues which are from the Viagra and I understand we shouldn't do that he seems fine to me too. I think it's in his head but it's beside the point. We always use cannabis and it doesn't really enhance much for us.
 
My wife and I are in our mid 30s as well and for a couple of years we did Molly about once a month at home too. We didn't add Viagra and still have several rounds of sex (except one time where I was too limp but I think that had to do with what I had eaten prior to rolling). I completely understand your position. The sex was always more intense. We also did 2cb once and that was even better. Hell we wound up 69ing for almost an hour during that. I think you should give him a little time though. Maybe not wait a whole year but you and him should look at diet and supplements for a few months. Also I cut back on weed during this time too and really felt better. (I still love weed, but its not a major addition). Also you mention that you planned sex a lot. Don't plan it, just surprise him. Take the worries off of him. Also add some new ideas in bed. Toys, outfits, hell offer to watch porn together. Molly sex is bonding and great, but that should be a soul recharge. Not all the time. Also try mutual masturbation. We did that several times and loved it. Twice it led to really great sober sex.
 
speaking from a harm reduction standpoint - I hope you have read about the imminent dangers of combining MDMA and Viagra. besides priapism and general neurotoxicity, the big problem with mixing these drugs is that MDMA is a stimulant (increases heart rate) while Viagra reduces blood pressure. so you've pretty much got opposite forces tugging at your man's heart

so it looks like someone has rang true that age old adage "once you have sex on MDMA you will never be able to have sex again!"

I don't think that has ever rang true for me, because yeah while the sex is amazing, don't you wake up the next day or the day after that horny again? I personally do, that damn itch has gotta be scratched, but I guess some don't
 
axl blaze said:
so it looks like someone has rang true that age old adage "once you have sex on MDMA you will never be able to have sex again!"

I don't think that has ever rang true for me, because yeah while the sex is amazing, don't you wake up the next day or the day after that horny again? I personally do, that damn itch has gotta be scratched, but I guess some don't
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Yes I believe old adage is true! Very true! We still do it but I'm just left longing for more and feeling some sort of void. And yes we are both incredibly horny for DAYS after these sessions. We've been known to have sex for 12 hours, finish, take a shower and short break and have what we call rounds 2, 3 even 4 and 5 on occasion and that's without re-dosing. The desire or horniness would linger and linger for about a week truthfully!

And I'm not going to say I don't ever get horny anymore naturally cause I do but just not as often as I used to. And where in the past before MDMA I was constantly horny (more than most women really), it was more than just horny and a need to get off,it was a craving to be close with my husband and the feeling during was an emotionally fulfilling experience whereas now when I do get horny I feel like I could accomplish the same thing with my vibrator that being together with my husband due to the lack of kissing, getting close, sexy/loving talk during etc.
 
My sex life is ruined after all the fuckin/wankin on em stims. Don't enjoy normally sex anymore. Its fuckin hell :(

So I feel for you mdmazing
 
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