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Do people really need sex?

G

geoffreychaucer

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2010
Messages
117
Location
Chicago
I consider myself to have a somewhat normal sex drive. Also, I know that I'm not unattractive and I know that I can hold a conversation and people tend to like me. However, I switched from your normal college experience to an urban commuter school where meeting people requires effort. I like it this way and left my other school partly because I don't enjoy having to talk to people all day and having to keep up superficial relationships with people I don't care for.

Anyway, if I continue living as I do now, I won't have sex for the rest of my college experience. I go to class and I return to my apartment when I am done. Unless I make some serious efforts, I will not meet anyone. I am slightly concerned about this on an introspective level but I have no feelings of loneliness or sexual frustration. My question is really, would "normal" people find this situation intolerable or am I a "normal" person who has just adapted to my circumstances?

I masturbate on average once a day to rid myself of excess sexual feelings but other than that, a lack of sex is not an issue. I do have urges to talk to pretty girls but then I think about the possible outcomes and realize I want none of them. Sex to me just seems incredibly pointless if its not with someone you love or care about. And getting to that point with someone seems like it would take a lot of energy and time so why pursue it? Can I be happy without sex despite having a sex drive? I really hope so. I want nothing more than to live my life without needing sex. It just seems like in this "progressive" century, you always read and hear about the importance of sex and stuff like that. But that's the physical release which can be obtained alone right? What is it about sex with another person that is held with such high esteem? There has to be other non-asexual people out there who willingly choose celibacy. Thanks for your input.
 
If you turn it into a black-and-white dichotomy between 'pointful sex with someone you love and care about' vs 'pointless sex with someone you don't' with no in between then I can understand why you might think 'what is the point in spending months/years building a relationship in which I'd find sex meaningful when I could just go without that time/effort investment'. What I mean is it doesn't take that much energy and time to get to a point with someone else where the sex is deeper and more enjoyable than just being mutual masturbation, even if both parties agree/understand that it is a mainly sexual involvement that will probably not be long lasting.

It's also easy to think logically in your head that you don't need something like sex but it is another thing altogether to see how you are actually affected by it when it happens.
 
I should probably say that the only sex I've had was with one person, my ex. And I should also say that I did not enjoy the sex other than knowing that I was having sex finally. This girl was great, we really got along well and she was far more attractive than I could have ever hoped for. But I just don't think that generic sex is very arousing. In all the 20 or so attempts, I was never able to cum. I just don't see how something so common as sticking your penis in a woman's vagina turns people on. Obviously that's a massive over-simplification but still. People tell me, "Well then you just have to keep trying with different people until you like it". I have two issues with that. First, it's not like it's that easy to find someone to have sex with. If I started talking up different girls tomorrow, maybe I could be having sex with one of them within the month, maybe. But more importantly, if I did start really liking it then I'm hooked and I'll have to look for sex for the rest of my life. That's like willingly getting addicted to something isn't it?
 
I'm sorry your first experiences weren't better. I can't relate because when I first experimented with sex I couldn't imagine liking. Then I found a partner that just did it right, for lack of better terms! Don't have such a pessimistic view of your future sex life. You can have sex and persue all endeavors in life without being addicted to sex. Sex can just be the icing on the cake.
 
geoffreychaucer said:
I should probably say that the only sex I've had was with one person, my ex. And I should also say that I did not enjoy the sex other than knowing that I was having sex finally. This girl was great, we really got along well and she was far more attractive than I could have ever hoped for. But I just don't think that generic sex is very arousing. In all the 20 or so attempts, I was never able to cum. I just don't see how something so common as sticking your penis in a woman's vagina turns people on. Obviously that's a massive over-simplification but still. People tell me, "Well then you just have to keep trying with different people until you like it". I have two issues with that. First, it's not like it's that easy to find someone to have sex with. If I started talking up different girls tomorrow, maybe I could be having sex with one of them within the month, maybe. But more importantly, if I did start really liking it then I'm hooked and I'll have to look for sex for the rest of my life. That's like willingly getting addicted to something isn't it?
Click to expand...

hooked. ha. yeah...one of em scrambled my brains well good. i think that could be a real condition i once came down with. cock addiction. dick addiction. dick with a cock.

as far as the perfect mind, the perfect sex, the perfect contrast, the perfect situation...it all changes and you do too. i'd have to cut and glue together pieces of different ones and times to make the 'ideal', but i have learned...it is possible for me to find monogamous sexual mutual possessiveness at the same time that we are 'taking it slow', cause yeah. my heart is like, covered in band aids and my trust issues have a razor tongue. also could be nice to use logic. i am trying to impart at least a dash of wisdom and logic. a good layer, even. there are no truly perfect things...just the things that are right where they need to be, on time, unexpected, and suddenly you have this strange gift. it won't be like as shiny as some others in some ways....it'll have more sparkle in other places, maybe places you never would looked. i am clearly babbling.

in conclusion, if there ever is one. it sucks going out there and seeing if you find it somehow. smiths lyrics and wastes of breath and chaos and all

i however have found what i'd call a happy moving little terrarium between fuck buddy and DEF RLTSHP FACEBOOK OFFICIAL COUPLE PPL KNOW THIS IS AN ITEM AND WE DISPLAY THAT CUZ NO CRIPPLING INSECURITIES AND HANGUPS AROUND ALL THOSE AREAS. yes i said facebook. pretend i said. some bullshit else.
we'll see IF, i dunno, but i like the idea of it. yeah i can't say anything too nice to you, you MAN you, will not get under my skin, where the love begins, where the thoughts can be harmed, where harm can spill over. i am comfortable number than that for now. could NEVER be poly, though. no matter what the future holds. at least i'll know this exists as well, one of the landscapes of human collision i can re-examine and ponder as something that did, indeed, happen.
 
Jean-Paul said:
hooked. ha. yeah...one of em scrambled my brains well good. i think that could be a real condition i once came down with. cock addiction. dick addiction. dick with a cock.

as far as the perfect mind, the perfect sex, the perfect contrast, the perfect situation...it all changes and you do too. i'd have to cut and glue together pieces of different ones and times to make the 'ideal', but i have learned...it is possible for me to find monogamous sexual mutual possessiveness at the same time that we are 'taking it slow', cause yeah. my heart is like, covered in band aids and my trust issues have a razor tongue. also could be nice to use logic. i am trying to impart at least a dash of wisdom and logic. a good layer, even. there are no truly perfect things...just the things that are right where they need to be, on time, unexpected, and suddenly you have this strange gift. it won't be like as shiny as some others in some ways....it'll have more sparkle in other places, maybe places you never would looked. i am clearly babbling.

in conclusion, if there ever is one. it sucks going out there and seeing if you find it somehow. smiths lyrics and wastes of breath and chaos and all

i however have found what i'd call a happy moving little terrarium between fuck buddy and DEF RLTSHP FACEBOOK OFFICIAL COUPLE PPL KNOW THIS IS AN ITEM AND WE DISPLAY THAT CUZ NO CRIPPLING INSECURITIES AND HANGUPS AROUND ALL THOSE AREAS. yes i said facebook. pretend i said. some bullshit else.
we'll see IF, i dunno, but i like the idea of it. yeah i can't say anything too nice to you, you MAN you, will not get under my skin, where the love begins, where the thoughts can be harmed, where harm can spill over. i am comfortable number than that for now. could NEVER be poly, though. no matter what the future holds. at least i'll know this exists as well, one of the landscapes of human collision i can re-examine and ponder as something that did, indeed, happen.
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+1.
 
Yes, according to Maslow

Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs.png
 
geoffreychaucer said:
What is it about sex with another person that is held with such high esteem?
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This is one of those "if you have to ask..." questions, I'm afraid. The energy and time spent finding someone to love and care about is "work" that most people gladly undertake. You seem more asocial than asexual, OP. I'm not quite sure what to recommend if the appeal of having a GF is just simply lacking for you.
 
What is the point of going through life without sex?

Its probably the best experience in life.

I'm sure having a family is cool and all, but you have to have sex to get there. Now when I get really old and I can't get it up despite Viagra or whatever they come out with I will be content, because I will have a family and besides that I am pretty sure my dick will work till the day I die.

I think my grandparents used to fuck until they died on my fathers side and on my mother's, I know did until my grandfather had to move in the hospital. That is some weird shit to hear in the middle of the night when you walk to the fried in the middle of the night. (geriatric moans of passion) I used to live with them.

If your parents did not fuck, you would not be here. I don't see the point in life without sex.
 
Sex is highly over-rated IMO. Though I have a love-hate relationship with physical intimacy.


I prefer feels to touches any day~~~
 
dopemaster said:
What is the point of going through life without sex?

Its probably the best experience in life.

I'm sure having a family is cool and all, but you have to have sex to get there. Now when I get really old and I can't get it up despite Viagra or whatever they come out with I will be content, because I will have a family and besides that I am pretty sure my dick will work till the day I die.

I think my grandparents used to fuck until they died on my fathers side and on my mother's, I know did until my grandfather had to move in the hospital. That is some weird shit to hear in the middle of the night when you walk to the fried in the middle of the night. (geriatric moans of passion) I used to live with them.

If your parents did not fuck, you would not be here. I don't see the point in life without sex.
Click to expand...

^ this is pro
 
Bob Loblaw said:
Sex is highly over-rated IMO. Though I have a love-hate relationship with physical intimacy.


I prefer feels to touches any day~~~
Click to expand...
I go months, it doesn't bother me. I've done a lot of drugs, had some w 4.5 women only 2 orgasms, never finished from any other sex act, had a girl finish from one
 
If you answer "no," you've never had good sex.

This coming from somebody that felt like the OP for 25 years of my life, until I allowed myself to feel worthy of sexual pleasure, and let's just say: it feels good man.
 
I've had sex a good 100+ times (2 partners) and yes I did enjoy it however I no longer do it and highly doubt I'll have it again. After a certain period of time without it you just stop caring. Is me not having sex by choice? Not really but if some hot girl came up and asked me to take her home I'd like to think that I wouldn't say no.
 
Just 2 partners in your life Snake Eyes?

I stopped counting at about 20 women. Geez I have had sex with 3 women at the same time.

Wow. I am just surprised. I think if I guessed at how many women I shagged you would think I was a degenerate or a liar. That being said that is besides the point.

Maybe you just haven't had good sex or are shy. You really shouldn't give up on sex.

I just do not understand not having sex unless it is controlling your every thought and you need a break.

I did get to the point where I felt the need for sex. I was dating/shagging/juggling 3 relationships at once and I got caught. I ended up with the gal I fancied the most. I ended up cheating on her when she was on her period if she didn't suck me off.

I needed a break then, but other than that I have never felt the need to not have sex. If I was unable to get laid for more than 3 months, I would most likely fuck a prostitute. Thank God that it has not happened.

The thing is I feel so much healthier when I have sex. Also sex is so great. It beats any drug in the world. I cannot fathom denying myself that, especially when women want to shag just as much as I do.

Sometimes its good to have an open relationship with an understanding. Maybe two. I really couldn't imagine not having someone I could call and shag.
 
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