Good luck man, you did it before and you can do it again. I think a huge part of my recovery is having a good group of sober friends to hang out with, people to laugh with. Laughter is a huge part of my recovery. Give yourself a little slack this shit is hard no one is parfect, the key is that you make progress and that u keep tryin. You only lost if u completely lost hope of being sober.
Life is fucking confusing let me tell you. I wanted to run away and get high because orient want to figure thins out the hard way. A lot of thugs in life I for understand and I will never understand and I might need to look to others for hints I don't understand. Life is so much more thAn needles and drugs. There is so much shot I want to experience, so many hints I want to explore and discover and figure out and just live. Literally life is beautiful. Being sober actually has given me the ability to notice these someone's of life like realizing the leaves are hNing colors or that here is a full moon or a nice summer day or a beUtful snow flurry. It seems really cliche but there are reasons to why thing are cliche. Idk I am finials able to think clearly for a log time in my life and while somedays are tough. I actually enjoy some days in so deity, go figure eh? Hahahaha
I have sooooooo many more fulfilling times in sobriety, that void I ha inside me that black hole that made me feel like I wasn't even human has finally been filled by the simplest easiest most essential and basic things man has to offer. Playing basketball today for example with friends was fun as fuck. Not veggie but it was so fun. Laughing win my buddies and shooting the shit is surprisingly filling, like that thanksgiving dinner every day, so satisfying.
I hope you got something out of my post, I know that sometimes I dot like AA and NA because of all the focus on he negativity, so I thought I'd share some positivity. The optimism makes sobriety so muh more enjoyable for me
-laC
