Hey guys I’m new to bluelight but have frequently been using it lately to help justify my thoughts. See the thing is, I’m suffering from one of the infamous long term MDMA comedowns. Before I get more in depth with this, I’d like to say that I have a decent amount of experience with drugs. I took shrooms on many occasions, acid, speed, Adderall, and smoked pot religiously for about 3 years. Towards the end of July, me and a few buddies went to a show and we each took about, supposedly, 400mg throughout the night. Since the idea to roll was kind of spontaneous and the night before the show, we got whatever we can. A trusted friend of mine got it for us. The capsules seemed kind of sketchy at first, the rocks were brown and by past experiences with MDMA, this looked like about 500-600 mg. I dosed twice, half and half. I redosed about an hour and a half into my roll. Coming up, I could tell it was crazy stuff. I think I might’ve had a panic attack coming up, but it was ephemeral and subsided in about 5 minutes. I rolled the hardest I ever rolled (I only rolled about 4 times in my life) and it was the most beautiful experience. The comedown was horrible though. One second I was rolling, the next I just got really tired and had to wait about 30 minutes for all of us regroup. Then I had to wait an hour for a ferry, and then another hour for another ferry. In total, it took me about 3 and a half hours to get home. Might I add, the comedown was absolutely horrible.
The night of the show, I couldn’t get any sleep. I kept tossing and turning and waking up in the middle of the night. The next day I felt extremely depersonalized, but I thought it was just the comedown. However, a week later I found myself still living in this “dream world” and suffering horrible migraines from the second I woke up to the second I fell asleep. This happened for about two weeks after the roll and I finally realized what it was the day I had my first panic attack. Since then, it’s been about 4 months. After my first attack, which was minor but extremely over exaggerated, I couldn’t stop panicking. I thought that I could have permanently messed up my brain didn’t leave my mind. I didn’t want to live my life like this. But yeah, it’s been four months, and I can see that I’ve started to feel better. I ditched my crippling agoraphobia, stopped worrying about my health, in relation to the anxiety, and I feel like I can do a lot more things that I couldn’t do the first month. But still this idea that it will never end stays in my head. My symptoms are anxiety (shortness of breath, heart palpitations, fatigue, nausea, and heat flushes/chills), insomnia, and minor depression (the idea that this might stay with me forever or atleast a really long time feeds that depression). These symptoms seem like they got worse since my first panic attack, but I just got better at coping with them. Sorry if this is long, but can anybody relate to this? Does anybody have any recovery stories? I try to stay positive but it's so hard when I know that I brought this upon myself and that I took life for granted
I’m assuming that this was caused by a serotonin deficiency and that’s my little twinkle of hope, that I can get better but with time. I’d really appreciate it if you guys can give me some feedback. By the way, I quit smoking pot since because it gives me horrible anxiety. I’m really upset at the fact that I can’t smoke a joint with my buds anymore. Has anybody who went through this start to smoke again?
Oh yeah and we labeled the molly we took supahcrack because two of my buddies who also took it also had the same problem. One is at the same spot as I am, but the other recovered after about a month. Was this just really strong molly or do you guys think it was cut with something?
Yours truly,
-Necrotyx
The night of the show, I couldn’t get any sleep. I kept tossing and turning and waking up in the middle of the night. The next day I felt extremely depersonalized, but I thought it was just the comedown. However, a week later I found myself still living in this “dream world” and suffering horrible migraines from the second I woke up to the second I fell asleep. This happened for about two weeks after the roll and I finally realized what it was the day I had my first panic attack. Since then, it’s been about 4 months. After my first attack, which was minor but extremely over exaggerated, I couldn’t stop panicking. I thought that I could have permanently messed up my brain didn’t leave my mind. I didn’t want to live my life like this. But yeah, it’s been four months, and I can see that I’ve started to feel better. I ditched my crippling agoraphobia, stopped worrying about my health, in relation to the anxiety, and I feel like I can do a lot more things that I couldn’t do the first month. But still this idea that it will never end stays in my head. My symptoms are anxiety (shortness of breath, heart palpitations, fatigue, nausea, and heat flushes/chills), insomnia, and minor depression (the idea that this might stay with me forever or atleast a really long time feeds that depression). These symptoms seem like they got worse since my first panic attack, but I just got better at coping with them. Sorry if this is long, but can anybody relate to this? Does anybody have any recovery stories? I try to stay positive but it's so hard when I know that I brought this upon myself and that I took life for granted
I’m assuming that this was caused by a serotonin deficiency and that’s my little twinkle of hope, that I can get better but with time. I’d really appreciate it if you guys can give me some feedback. By the way, I quit smoking pot since because it gives me horrible anxiety. I’m really upset at the fact that I can’t smoke a joint with my buds anymore. Has anybody who went through this start to smoke again? Oh yeah and we labeled the molly we took supahcrack because two of my buddies who also took it also had the same problem. One is at the same spot as I am, but the other recovered after about a month. Was this just really strong molly or do you guys think it was cut with something?
Yours truly,
-Necrotyx
