Mental Health help with anxiety and low self esteem

[misfitanxious]

Hello Bluelight,

I know this is probably something i should discuss with a profesional unfortunately i live in a small town and dont have the opportunity, i have also lost faith in therapists who's only solution seem to be prescribing more and more benzos to treat my anxiety. First let me tell you a little bit about myself.I am in my late 20's, married with children, i own a well known local restaurant and money is not a real problem for me but i am not rich.

I have been suffering from social and general anxiety as long as i can remember. I use between 4 to 10mgs of alprazolam per day to treat my anxiety.

I do not consider myself depressed and whilst i dont have many friends but i do have a few good close friends and pretty much everyone in town knows me and allot of them want to be my friends. I live in a fairly poor country where money makes you popular.

I have been using drugs since i was 14 and i had a bad heroin addiction but i've been clean for 3 years... i like to use cocaine and i know i drink too much. I drink almost everyday and i use cocaine several times a week.

My question is simple...

Why do i have such low self esteem if i am a succesful business owner with a wife and kids and i dress nice and use jewelery and i know allot of people want to be just like me and everywhere i go people greet me and buy me beers.

I feel like everyone is staring at me and talking badly about me and make fun of me even though noone says anything to my face.

Is this depression or a simple case of low self esteem? i feel awkward around people when i am not drunk or take my pills.

Thanks for reading this long post and please if you have any advice please share......i just dont know what to do...

 

[dave007]

Hello, misfitanxious!

The thing is that you have achieved successful outer layer but inside you have not changed. You might think deep down inside that you don't really deserve to be that successful or happy. I do not know your backstory but it feels like you were bullied when you were little because I have felt the same things years before when I had social anxiety.

In order to get better, you have to pump up your confidence, be proud of your cahievements and most importantly, change the way you think.

The mind is a powerful tool but we use it wrong a lot of times. I would really suggest you to start working with affirmations. Affirmations are sentences you tell yourself that you wish were true, for example: I am an awesome person. I am the most handsome dude ever, etc.

It might be a bit silly telling these things to yourself every day so I would recommend you this affirmations software. It's basically a program that repeats the affirmations to you and flash them on the screen.

I wish you the best!

 

[jobe28]

Why do i have such low self esteem if i am a succesful business owner with a wife and kids and i dress nice and use jewelery and i know allot of people want to be just like me and everywhere i go people greet me and buy me beers.

I feel like everyone is staring at me and talking badly about me and make fun of me even though noone says anything to my face.

It doesnt matter what anyone else thinks about you so stop caring about that.

Concerning your self-esteem.. look up what the EGO is. Theres some good books by a guy named Eckhart Tolle who talks about it in detail. Basically self-esteem is a sense of feeling good about yourself that is comes from within and is based on nothing. Its just something youre inherently born with. This is the opposite of the EGO which is something you build with external factors in your life - such as how much money or possessions you have, your looks, your knowledge or anything you can use to rationalize feeling good.

Also on that topic, maybe you'd like to try meditation (just sit there doing nothing, and feeling good).

 

[Black Rabbit of Inle]

It doesnt matter what anyone else thinks about you so stop caring about that.

It's not always so simple.

OP, your current status may have very little to do with your confidence. You mention having anxiety for as long as you remember, but has your self esteem always been low too or is it a new thing?

Anxiety and addiction can destroy your self esteem and it can take years to get it back. Have you talked to your therapist about confidence building exercises you can do?

 

[ashleywells2417]

Building self-esteem is a lifelong process, the foundation of self-esteem is established in childhood.