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ALTERNATIVE THEORIES V: The Build-a-bear Workshop

Damn did all that happen? I missed it, haven't been watching the news. Too busy playing gtav.
 
capstone said:
Day 1- The Singularity has occurred and its been 16 hours since computers all over the world became self aware. Within the first hour after the royals uploaded their consciousness into digital form, computers everywhere were infected and began networking with each other. By the time mankind knew what was happening it was too late. The Elite, the richest families of our planet, had shed their humanity, and hence saw no need for its further existence. Their Essences sitting comfortably in orbiting server farms began hitting humanity with everything that it had ever created to destroy itself. 6,780,000,000 people, roughly 95% of the total global population, were exterminated in 6 hours. And the roundup begins.....

Day 2- They've been planning this for a long time. The means and the infrastructure for a technocratic feudalism were put into place over the last half century. We passed the event horizon of this genocide when governments began building autonomous mechanized payload systems, which so many called "drones." The richest of the rich controlled the military-industrial complex, and used it to build their dream: post-humanist immortality. Kings alike have always wanted to exterminate humanity, but were still so themselves; it wasn't until they shed their humanity that they felt justified with their consciences in culling the human herd. By all estimates, the population has been reduced to 200,000,000 globally. I don't know whether to be thankful or not.

Day 3- Hour 68 of Post-Humanist Occupied Earth: what's left of the cities is being dismantled for raw materials. The fires of the extermination haven't even died down, but the machines are still sifting through it. They didn't waste any time, we only now noticed it. Late last night, the ground began rumbling with a dull vibration and hasn't stopped since. They're mining, everywhere, all at once. The planet is being stripped of any resource available, while on flatlands the post-humanists are building staging areas for massive warships to travel into deep space. The Earth is nothing but a launching station into the eternity of godhood to them. They're taking all they can and simply leaving, hoping they get us all in the process. Currently, we estimate only 120,000,000 people are left; they're hunting us down for sport at this point. If they did this here, what do they have planned to do beyond the stars?

Day 4- What a disaster. The remnants of the US and Chinese militaries decided to ally themselves in an all out nuclear hail mary strike on the orbiting post-humanists. The few tactical weapons they did have that wasn't networked, and therefore immune to the initial extinction event, were reprogrammed remotely after they were launched to hit us right back, where it hurt the most. The post-humanists knew where humanity regrouped, and waited until we gave them exactly what they needed to take the rest of us out. 2 of their ships have already been completed; one is in orbit now scorching every part of the earth, while the other has been sighted from astronomical reports to be towing asteroids our way. There were millions of us yesterday. Millions. Globally, from very sketchy estimates, only 986,000 humans are left. We see their plan now. Before they leave the planet forever, the post-humanists are removing the one threat to their existence: Us. And they're going to destroy the Earth to achieve this.

Have a happy New World Order.
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I'll take the liberty of posting sources, lol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGCvZuzShSc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XyhgI0x744


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2322703/Want-live-forever-Russian-billionaire-reveals-real-life-avatar-plan--says-upload-brain-hologram-immortal-2045.html


L2R said:
Damn did all that happen? I missed it, haven't been watching the news. Too busy playing gtav.
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I was too, till I got thrown in a bad sport server :|
 
L2R said:
Damn did all that happen? I missed it, haven't been watching the news. Too busy playing gtav.
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You think that the Illuminati would have better sense than to mine resources at the bottom of a deep gravity well. Maybe the lizard-people who masquerade as the British Royal family can't be mind-uploaded like everyone else, and they are pissed; thus they are purposely trying to foil the Illuminati's plans.
 
bit_pattern said:
Depopulation would be a capital G and T Good Thing IMO
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why? Am honestly curious why I see such sentiment so frequently, from all types of ppl. Is it just 'people are dumbasses'?
I hear it often enough in the context of 'teh illuminatis want less people', typically from the same types of ppl that then go on and yap about the illuminatis wanting to exploit / exercise power upon said ppl. I'm honestly confused...the only issues I've ever seen wrt 'population problems' are crowded roads in some places lol.
 
bmxxx said:
why? Am honestly curious why I see such sentiment so frequently, from all types of ppl. Is it just 'people are dumbasses'?
I hear it often enough in the context of 'teh illuminatis want less people', typically from the same types of ppl that then go on and yap about the illuminatis wanting to exploit / exercise power upon said ppl. I'm honestly confused...the only issues I've ever seen wrt 'population problems' are crowded roads in some places lol.
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I'm more concerned about how you feed the impending 10 billion + population and maintain the biological systems that support the survival of our species
 
Escher's Waterfall said:
There's not a lot of suicides among people who hold this opinion.
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Haha, yes, very droll - a line I've been known to use myself from time to time. No, I'm not about to top myself any time soon but I AM srsly considering getting a vasectomy before I inadvertently or otherwise reproduce, which is a bloody good start IMO
 
same here.

hey the problem you're introducing is that only smart people recognise the problems around population, and so only the clever abstain, so only the dumb breed. this exacerbates the issue.

we should, as conflicting as it feels, reproduce MROE!
 
idiocracy.png
 
L2R said:
Damn did all that happen?
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I don't know when it will happen. Just that it will on our current path.

superelephant said:
I'll take the liberty of posting sources, lol.
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Thank you, good sir! :)

Escher's Waterfall said:
You think that the Illuminati would have better sense than to mine resources at the bottom of a deep gravity well. Maybe the lizard-people who masquerade as the British Royal family can't be mind-uploaded like everyone else, and they are pissed; thus they are purposely trying to foil the Illuminati's plans.
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I'm getting to that, just you wait your pretty face. Spoilers... Its an ongoing story I'm writing when I'm bored.

bit_pattern said:
I'm more concerned about how you feed the impending 10 billion + population and maintain the biological systems that support the survival of our species
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Using all the money we as a species spend on war to instead putting that money into research of extraterrestrial colonization would be a good start. Who has to "be depopulated"(whatever that fucking means) if we can have our pick of planets to live on? Seriously, a lot of money is spent on war, and with enough of it, colonization wouldn't be an insurmountable hurdle.
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Day 5- Civilization, at least human civilization, is dead. All the art, culture, and society of 5,000 years has been destroyed in less than a week and stolen by the post-humans. There will be nothing left for the universe to remember the splendor of mankind. Our cities are gone, our hopes extinguished. We will be forgotten for all time. The former Illuminati, now the current post-humans, used humanity to their benefit, as we allowed them to rape us the entire time. So, all in all, we deserve this. If we didn't, logically, we would have seen this extinction level event coming, and took appropriate measures to hang every international banker before they got away with killing billions. But we didn't, and a burning cinder once called "Earth" is what we have to show for it. Our best guess is that little over 501,000 people are still alive on this planet. Soon, we'll fade from the pages of time and humanity will have never left their mark on a universe with so much unrealized potential. No one is complacent anymore because we've been reduced to living on base survival instincts. And thanks to the post-humanists, these instincts are now obsolete.

Day 6- We had a victory today, but not without a great cost. Once we found out about the asteroids being towed ruthlessly into Earth's trajectory, plans were drawn up to leave the surface by taking one of our government's deep underground military bases. Generals from before the extermination had inside knowledge that this was coming, and over the decades they hardened themselves deep underground in interconnected military bases, on our tax dollars, if that even matters anymore. Flying some F-16's into surface server farms coupled with a sort of digital kill-switch worm virus was our distraction; it wouldn't cripple the post-humanists, but it bought us the time we needed. Taking our target was the easy part, if losing 12,000 soldiers can be considered easy in this world we woke up in. The entrance was heavily defended, so we drilled right down into it and killed them all, whatever you want to call "Them." The difficult part was denetworking the facility capable of housing 100,000 people, with all the infrastructure of a decent sized town. Post-humanists were fighting steel tooth and nail, using tricks like cutting off the life support, turning on the facility's self-destruct as often as possible, and sending countless waves of drilling kill squads. Eventually, we successfully killed the artificial intelligence running the facility, and we took up defensive positions. The only contact we have with the outside world is what we personally relay to the surface, 6,000 ft above our heads. We're not sure how many survivors there are to the human species anymore. All we know is that we saved 75,000 people today. For now.

DISCLAIMER EDIT: For reasons of NSA surveillance, all of this is FICTIONAL and any depictions are purely coincidental, so lay off. Its just a story, so enjoy it. :)
 
capstone said:
Using all the money we as a species spend on war to instead putting that money into research of extraterrestrial colonization would be a good start. Who has to "be depopulated"(whatever that fucking means) if we can have our pick of planets to live on? Seriously, a lot of money is spent on war, and with enough of it, colonization wouldn't be an insurmountable hurdle.
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This brought me so many lulz :D

Pick of the planets? Bags you go to Venus!
 
I can't wait to be a post-human. I sure hope I'm l33t enough to be selected for the Great Upload. I'm assuming that my activities with Green politics in advancing Agenda 21 would put me in good stead with Messers Rothschild :D
 
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