I'm sorry but I need to talk about Tom/ponti

[swampdragon]

There's a time and a place for those sort of questions, and this certainly isn't it. Can we just stick to supporting Pagey (and others who are also grieving) in this thread? A bit of tact and sensitivity would be nice, eh?

I agree with snolly.. talking and remembering him will help a little. And then it's a case of things getting a bit easier with time. Wish I could say something more helpful.

 

[Tangerine Dream]

When my best mate died early July I couldn't deal with it, and as time passes I still wonder if I have dealt with it or not. Still doesn't seem real when I really think about it. A lot of the time I don't think about things. Healthy? Maybe not. Yeah I don't know if this helps or not. Pagey and pont...clearly both very caring people, as they both PMed me when I was going through shit...and I hadn't spoken to them much prior. I'm no good to talk to when it comes to understanding death... It's unfair but yeah...words fail me as usual.

 

[masaz]

Wanting to know why and how someone died isn't necessarily disrespectful, it's just not the time or place for it right now. In the past, details have been provided if the people involved have found it appropriate, as was the case with flippingtop's death. Ponti told us what happened to him and told us the combo that led to his death, which made a few people, myself included, think twice. If there is a harm reduction message to be learnt from the death of any BLer (dodgy batch, new substance etc..), I'm fairly confident that the friends of those deceased would want to spread the message and would do so to help others avoid danger, but this obviously hasn't been the case here.

Please can we give it all a rest, and let people grieve for a bit without all this back and forth?

 

[curious_24]

Understood. Sorry again if what I said came across as insensitive. Much love to you all.

 

[Bearlove]

You know how his passing makes you feel - how happy you were for having him (in whatever way) in your life made you feel. Your doing that also for other people - right now.

I personally don't have a problem with asking how a person died we would ask the same question IRL. When we just get a post saying a person has died it leaves us with questions? The people close to them will think - was there something I could do? Depending on the circumstances then - what you could have done may change?

 

[Eveleivibe]

I kind of agree with Raas here. So many people have left us this year, but we never find out what happened to them. For example, are they all dying from liver failure due to botched CWE attempts? Accidentally overdosing from etizolam and opiates? Suicide after crushing depression from one of the popular RC stimulants? It feels like there's a potentially major HR lesson being withheld.

This isn't directly aimed at Ponti's passing by the way, just an observation of how the forum works as a whole when one these tragic events occur.

I agree, sometimes when dealing with death people overeact in the "respect" department, some would argue that speculating over somebody's death is disrespectful, I completely disagree especially on a drugs forum, it's as you say a potential HR lesson being withheld

Give it time. Some people are hurting very much at the moment and want to remember the good person that Tom was rather than talk about his passing in which they may not have accepted yet. It's not the time for speculation. It's so clinical to get right into that discussion (which aint going to help anyone anyway, we all know the risks) and displays a lack of regard for a member of our own. Let people grieve ffs.

There's a time and a place for those sort of questions, and this certainly isn't it. Can we just stick to supporting Pagey (and others who are also grieving) in this thread? A bit of tact and sensitivity would be nice, eh?

I agree with snolly.. talking and remembering him will help a little. And then it's a case of things getting a bit easier with time. Wish I could say something more helpful.

I agree. Maybe questions need answering but IN TIME. Right now it's best to give support to the family n friends who are grieve n ask question when it's less roar.

Evey x

Eaadit: i meant to send this a few hours hours ago, put my phone on charge - n just came to see it saying 'tokin expired' so re-sent. Apologies if its now out of contenxt xxx

 

[Raasyvibe]

Probably best not to speculate on that kind of thing Raas. Drop it.

Yeah, please. We'll find out if we find out.

Thank you for your posts, CK and Ismene.

raas, I know how Tom died and it doesn't change a thing. Fact is he's gone.

While, I totally accept that consideration for Ponti and his passing away is all that is necessary right now... at the time I made the post all we had was some link from FlippingTop's facebook (Previously passed away BL'r) that Ponti had died. From SundayRaver, who confessed he had "no other details".

I posted, in consideration of everybody's interest, to confirm details and find the truth of what happened.

 

[cherrycolouredfunk]

A post that hurt me by a once BL'er when I had the unfortunate experience of sharing the news that my boyfriend (MTGG) had died, was a comment that went something along the lines of 'RIP, but I'm sorry to say inevitable' I can't remember the exact words, but I took massive issue with it. Obviously I flew off the handle, and the comment was deleted In the same thread, a BL'er who was banned as a result had a very nasty go at me for being financially unable to go to the funeral, and then carried on to verbally attack me. Tambo eventually banned him (It was miles away, I was penniless, struggling massivly on my own with a G addiction, and i'd already discussed with the family why I couldn't be there and arranged to pay my respects a different way, basically it was nobodies business but mine).

Then, the notorious Hedfunk/Velbon made and uploaded an avatar saying something like 'HAR HAR MTGG IS DEAD' in flashing black and white.

Death brings out the worst in some people (Not referring to anyone in this thread) and what the negative responses from people in that thread taught me is that people either know how to deal with it or don't, or in some cases are just darn right evil and hide behind the screen of the Internet to do things they wouldn't dare dream of trying to get away with in real life.

It was only the other day I read an article in Vice magazine, about teenagers posting selfies at funerals (Selfie - photo taken of oneself by oneself for those who are unaware of the social media term) and then up-loading them to facebook/twitter with comments like hashtag my poor grandma etc.

With the internet, it becomes easy for people forget what is the real issue, that a real person is gone from the world, leaving behind loved ones who are hurting and need time to deal with their grief.

 

[Eveleivibe]

Hiya Cherry,
I'm sorry to hear that you received some negative remarks at a friends passing on here. That is truly dreadful. In my opinion, something like this should unite ppl in the quest for harm reduction. It's a shame for ppl to fight or be derogaratory. What I have seen on bluelight with ppl who have passed - is that some of those who did not see eye to eye with the person, still wished them to rest in peace n well wishes to the family n friends. That's how it should be, in my opinion, n if anyone thinks they have only have derogatory comments to make, should refrain from making them in respect to the ppl still left behind n are hurting deeply.
Take care of you, Cherry,
Evey xxxx

 

[Si Dread]

Time will make it all easier, just try to stay with us & give it time... Going on a massive drugs &/or booze bender coz you've lost a friend will only delay the pain & might mean you meet up with them again all too soon, & then you yourself are goin to leave a trail of grief stricken people behind you.

It's never nice to lose someone, but it happens all through life & you need to, if not get used to it, at least learn to accept it.

 

[Eveleivibe]

Too true Si Ingwe,

When I lost my friend, Lewis, to cancer I was distraught. I had been out of contact for two years due to having to change details to keep away from ex. I felt extremely guilty. There was another friend who died having a hip operation at the age of 18. I had spent years resenting her over petty s*** n felt extreme guilt for that too.

My point is this is hard but you WILL come through it n if you feel like using please come on here asap or contact a friend or whatever. I'd like to hope that all the people we have lost in our lives are happy somewhere. I'm not going to say my views here on afterlife / religion as we are all different but I'd like to think that they are somewhere, in no more pain, emotionally or physically n are watching over us all having a good laugh

Thinking of those of you grieving right now,
Evey xxx