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Closest you have come to kicking the bucket

C

catching fish

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 23, 2011
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I've always been pretty interested in hearing people's near-death experiences and whether or not it ended up having any positive impact on their lifestyles. I thought it might be interesting if anyone cared to share their stories and possible aftermath, be it drug related or not.

Personally my closest was smoking pure fentanyl powder and I just went out like a light and woke up to my younger brother shaking me and shouting and while my cleaner was on the phone calling an ambulance. They told me I was just blue and not breathing and both were certain I had completely checked out. It was just like waking up from a deep sleep, but I had the strangest feeling for the next few hours. I felt like I was in a dream and completely disconnected from reality. I went for a walk through a shopping mall and was just standing there laughing to myself while people gave me weird looks. Maybe a more positive person would consider that the feeling of getting a second chance or a new lease on life or something like that. Afterwards I felt immensely guilty and selfish and a while later (not immediately) I quit hard drugs. I have no idea if I would have woke up if they didn't find me when they did.

That was my most recent. I've been in some pickles and pretty bad situations but nothing to that extent. It was eerily similar to the time I almost drowned as a child. I was about 10 years old and over the course of 10 minutes I went from intense fear (I think I'm actually going to die) to an indescribable peace and calm (I'm going to die) to laughing hysterically while having a stern lecture pretty much screamed at me by a lifeguard (I'm back on dry land and somehow alive).

Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences.
 
Interesting topic, keen to read more users' experiences :)

Personally I've only had two, one of which doesn't necessarily count as the gravity of the incident didn't hit until months later.

First (and primary) near-death experience was on the morning of December 28th, 2005, at home - age 17.
Woke up, went to the bathroom, nothing out of the ordinary...as I was taking a piss I began to hear a very quiet high-pitched squeal kinda sound - exactly like the one the tap out the back makes when dad has only turned it on a tiny bit. I immediately found this sound very irritating and went outside to check the tap and turn it off if it was running. It was, and was making that quiet sound, so I turned it off and went back inside. I head downstairs and sat on the couch, but I could still hear the fucking sound! It was quite clear now, and obviously not being made by anything in the house....it was in my head :S told my mum about it and that I was getting a nasty headache, so she went off to fetch me some painkillers and a glass of water. Upon her return she asked me to sit up and take the painkillers, to which I replied in confusion and fear "I...can't sit up. I can't move properly."

....cutting to the point, I'd suffered a stroke that morning as a result of a clot becoming lodged in my right occipital lobe. Thankfully due to my young age I was only cooped up in Hospital for a week, though the first couple of days I was a drugged out zombie and the next few days following were spent learning to walk/use the left hand side of my body again. Fucking lame, I'll tell you that.


Second near death experience was July 22nd 2011, snowboarding at Perisher ski resort.
Was roughly 11am. Myself and my mate that I was with were casually cruising down one of our off-piste runs we enjoyed, just to warm up and assess the terrain. About 100m from the T-bar lift at the bottom of this run there was a lovely built up snow drift that made for an awesome makeshift launch, even though it was tiny. Not intending to actually get massive air, I hit it intending on getting maybe 2m distance airtime....well, that certainly didn't happen. Since I was so relaxed when I hit it, I kinda gracefully superman'd through the air off balance, finishing by digging a nice trench with my face. As my face dug into the snow, my body forcefully rolled over top, pressing my face against my sternum (try kissing your solarplexus and you'll understand why this sucked). After laying there for a good 10 minutes in pain, I dragged my ass up and over to the T-bar where my mate was waiting, and proceeded to lay in the snow for a further half hour or so...

Gave up on the day after that, just chilled at Blue Cow station/my mate's car until he called it a day (didn't wanna ruin his day too, though I didn't know what I'd done to myself either). Ended up staying the night as planned, which meant sleeping in a tent, on a shitty inflatable mat, in the snow :P didn't help much, barely slept as my back was cramping horrifically all night :(

Fast forward 18 weeks. I've finally had enough of the constant cramping in my upper back, and sick of being told by incompetent 457 visa wielding GPs "It's just soft tissue damage, here's a script for some vallium", so I pulled the finger out and saw an Osteo who referred an X-ray....the next week he gives me a call to let me know that I crushed my T5 vertebra BADLY, and it's a miracle I didn't snap my neck and die on the spot.




TL;DR - had a stroke at 17, and then broke my back (but should've been my neck) at 23.
 
Out for a walk blazed with my ipod blaring as usual about a year ago. Notice a student couple ahead of me turn and look strangely skyward above me. A few steps more and there is an almighty crash about 10 feet behind me as a huge widowmaker of a branch from a eucalyptus tree smashes to the ground. There wasn't even a breath of wind that day.

The couple could hear the cracking of the branch which I of course couldn't (cheers for the warning). It's made me a little wary when I go for a walk these days - particularly with some of the strong winds we've had lately.
 
Worst is probably the time I shot oxy one morning after taking a higher than usual nitrazepam dose the night before. Had my shot, next thing I know I'm coming back to consciousness with the friend who's place I'm at shaking me. Apparently I passed out and started going blue. Pretty scary, although it's nothing close to some of you guys.

Only other time I can think of is when I was shooting powdered fentanyl. It was diluted down precise potency and consistency in a lab (at least allegedly, I wonder a bit with how variable the effects were), so not as bad as shooting patches, but the stuff is still hugely powerful, strongly sedating with a small gap between 'not craving' and 'unconsciousness.' Lost track of how many times over the 4 day period I woke up with my equipment all around me, only able to tell if I had nodded off while prepping a shot or passed out after having it by checking whether there was blood on my arms. In hindsight I'm really lucky, if it had a longer half life, or I'd made some of those shots even slightly stronger, or had other downers in my system, I might have done some permanant damage, or worse, but at the time I was so caught up in it I wasn't thinking :|

What's really fucked up is that there was barely even any high involved. Strong physical sedation, but there was none of the glowing euphoria of most other opiates, just an hour or so drooling on myself before the withdrawals came back. Barely slept the entire time because I'd wake up within 90 minutes hanging out. Not one of the high water marks of my drug career.
 
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I cant think of any times I have had near death experiences, I've had some excruciating pain before when I was younger from alcohol and doing dumb shit, like when I snapped an ACL after trying to climb a chain link fence and falling onto the other side badly, then trying to walk halfway home with a couple of mates and ended up in hospital, but it was no where near death.

in my teens after double-dropping pills which (as it turned out on my tox reports) contained K and drinking extremely heavily.
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^ I had a whole pill once in my late teens at a rave that me and a friend thought were E's, and we snorted the whole pill each and went into a massive K-Hole and didn't know what was happening, that was really weird, but again no where near death, although it kind of felt like it at the time, we couldn't see past a few feet in front of us, didn't know where we were (when we were like 20 mins from home) and couldn't walk or talk properly, an hour later we had some speed and were fine. It ended up being a great night, good memory and experience in hindsight, but at the time it was a bit of a freak out, we got half our money back from the dealer in the days after and he admitted they were K pills and it was all he could get (it was in a time when most pills were strong E's and he used to get really good ones mostly).
 
I used to be into a great deal of H and Cocaine whilst maintaining an unhealthy fondness for a fellow human that lead to frequent binges of iv coke that bordered insanity when I think back to the dosage I slammed.
Closest i ever came to death was extremely harrowing, after tying off and pushing a shot through the usual nauseating taste of cocaine at the back of my throat was there but very strong and my mouth even went numb. the bell ringer was epic, but almost in slow motion as i lost all my motor skills. The room seemed to turn sideways and a simple manoeuvre towards the bed from the desk chair 2 feet away landed me face down on the floor as if i was trying to walk across a ships deck in a wild storm. No balance whatsoever, everything was extremely loud as if the bell ringer was continuing, if i didn't immediately contemplate the fact i was possibly having a brain seizure or a stroke the experience would have been quite nice. Inevitably panic set in but I was unable to talk, unable to do anything save Lay on my back helpless. Eventually the room began to right itself, although it would make sense to be nauseous from the uneasiness and vertigo all my bodily functions including heartrate remained under control as if i were dreaming.
It was roughly 20 minutes after the shot that i felt my sense of balance return and was able to explain my temporary paralysis to my useless female companion. It took another month to kick cocaine, heroin and oxy however is a constant battle. but after the fantastic support and services of nextstep in perth and a cold turkey detox I've been clean for over 18 months.

It wasn't the near death experience (even if it was a perceived one only) that helped me kick. In the end concerned family and friends helped me see how i was ruining a life and a body once dedicated to athletic achievements. My addiction I would classify as unique in that i tried to maintain a "normal" lifestyle whilst feeding the cravings, I held down a job and continued to train for sport. Money and supply unfortunately did not play a significant role in those dark days. I think I've returned to a somewhat likeness of my pre addiction days and if I ever reminisce about the "good ol" days a quick read through the sometimes illiterate messages to friends and family during that time almost embarrass me so much the thought of returning to that lifestyle is not appealing.

I understand how fatal iv cocaine is, not can be, is. It still amazes me how strong the addiction is, so strong that dying as a result of chasing a high becomes an after thought our an occupational hazard if you like. I got a new job recently that doesn't tolerate these extra curricular activities and for the time being cocaine cravings are zilch. I cannot emphasise enough the need to become involved in the greater community again to combat boredom, loneliness and depression. This has been key to maintaining abstinence, vigilance and reminders such as group therapy etc made the cravings worse.

This was my near death experience and am still new at sharing so feedback is appreciated and if I inadvertently broke any rules posting apologies and constructive criticism gladly accepted.

Peace and stay safe.
 
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Giving drugs to animals is bad.... also read the BLUA:

BLUA said:
Specifically, you may not:

use Bluelight in any way, shape or form for unlawful purposes, including, without limitation:

use ineffective self-incrimination avoidance terms. Terms include but are not limited to: SWIM; my dog; etc.
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I'll edit it but want to know if reporting on your personal use of illegal drugs is incriminating? Specifically I suppose do you see any problem with my post?
 
There have been a few. Almost face planting from the tray of a truck at 50-60 km. Luckily I tucked and rolled but my back is still fucked up. Drunk and stoned. Skating a few face plants. The worst trying to front board slide a 10 stair hand rail. I'd board slid it and 50/50 so I thought give frontside a bash, overconfidence. Got 1/2 way down and lost balance to far forward and yeah head first into the cement. Spewed and had concussion, a massive bruise on my head and disoriented. Didn't go to hospital as I was not to fucked up after 30 minutes, really should have got an ambulance...

Drugs MDPV + MPA. Really felt like mini strokes/heart attacks. Think I OD on H back in the day and only 2-3 time IVing. Didn't do it after that had only snorted/smoked a little before IVing so not a massive habit but it was enough to feel like shit for a few days. 2ce 40 mg, just stupid needed 3-4 mg xanax to handle that ride, not really near death but fucking uncomfortable. aMT + 50/60 5 apb/6 apb pellets + etoh and sick as fuck for 3 days.
 
First off I'd only done them on bars benches and a few small rails 4-6 steps and less steep. So going 10 steps with a steep rail was pushing shit uphill to be honest. To much weight forward I think plus I didn't quite hit it right and it was steep incline. Basically legs and board shot back I went forward (fairly normal f/s board fuck up at least for me), obviously hit the rail wrong and was not parallel with my arms to the rail (find it important to hit with arms parallel to bar/rail etc otherwise I fuck up). Probably hit it at a 60 degree angle, doomed from the start lmao. Not the first time I've hit my head f/boardslide (mostly back/side of head) but it was the worst, usually the board sticks when I'm off balance and I don't.

Tried to twist so as not to hit the back of my head (I was hoping to land on my hands/knees and full of adrenalin/shitting myself) but it was just a massive fuck up. Hit the left side as my arms just folded. Landed in a crumpled heap and don't remember too much for about 10 minutes just dazed as fuck. Had a puke. There was some blood from the head injury but not tonnes. The bruise was more L side head as I couldn't twist 180 degrees. Face plant perhaps not the most accurate, side of head plant would be an accurate description.

How do you usually bail/fall from fucking up a f/side board? Any tips appreciated :)! It's a simple trick but I regularly fuck it up. I prefer front nose seem to be able to bail more easily if I'm not 100% but ledges/benches and small skate park rails. First and last time trying anything besides 50/50 f/side on bigger stuff. Probably nad myself trying to do a b/side board on anything that big as I usually just have a roll at a skate park these days. Back then I skated every day, these days maybe once a week.

Edit: Also L wrist sprained + grazes, elbow grazed and some grazes bruises legs. Not real sure on the exact details of the impact cause I got concussed pretty good. Other people I was skating with said I slapped my head hard.
 
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1. being on a ski lift at 7 y.o., too short too pull down the bar that goes in front of you, and the guy who puts you on forgot to put me on with an older person, so i had a potential 40m drop or so but managed to cling on for my life

2. ODing on mxe and phenazepam after plugging it, im pretty sure my sister found me unconscious in a bath full of water (no matter how fun baths are on downers and disassociatives they arent worth doing !)

3. ODing on 4-ho-met and unknown RC (maybe pentedrone) stimulant plugged, started throwing like never before after a minute, then heart beating through my chest and was unable to feel my entire body then, then ambulance came to our house (they taunted the fuck out of me and it was so brutal i just hated it, ambos dont fucking understand drugs at all) then went into very severe psychosis for next 6 hours until drugged out with a lot of iv benzo, was very traumatising for my family :/, i experienced the feeling of death at the hospital, rising out of my body etc seeing me dead it was rlly fked

4. ODing on mxe (just a way too high dose), i was unconscious i think and when into cardiac arrest but ambos were able to stabalise me at my house without having to go to hostpital

i feel like i have 9 lives but i dont wanna test that theory out anymore

they experiences put me off drugs after them, but usually id just come crawling back, i get into those spots when drug use is taking over my life, but since getting a bit older and wising up i dont get into drugs to that extent where i make idiotic mistakes
 
Mysterie said:
1.
3. ODing on 4-ho-met and unknown RC (maybe pentedrone) stimulant plugged, started throwing like never before after a minute, then heart beating through my chest and was unable to feel my entire body then, then ambulance came to our house (they taunted the fuck out of me and it was so brutal i just hated it, ambos dont fucking understand drugs at all) then went into very severe psychosis for next 6 hours until drugged out with a lot of iv benzo, was very traumatising for my family :/, i experienced the feeling of death at the hospital, rising out of my body etc seeing me dead it was rlly fked

i feel like i have 9 lives but i dont wanna test that theory out anymore

they experiences put me off drugs after them, but usually id just come crawling back, i get into those spots when drug use is taking over my life, but since getting a bit older and wising up i dont get into drugs to that extent where i make idiotic mistakes
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Fuck 4 ho met is lovely by itself but add a stimulant! And I thought I was bonkers lol. Experiences like that are why when you get older you don't tend to repeat those kind of things. Thanks for sharing. :)
 
lovepsychadelics said:
Fuck 4 ho met is lovely by itself but add a stimulant! And I thought I was bonkers lol. Experiences like that are why when you get older you don't tend to repeat those kind of things. Thanks for sharing. :)
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lol i would never mix a psych and a stim intentionally, my powder baggies were unlabelled at one point and i meant to take MXE instead of some crap RC stim (a vendor mailed it to me with an order but i didnt ask for it), which added to my freakout because i was like wtf did i just plug 80mg of a RC stim i know fuck all about, def scary shit
 
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