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The Big & Dandy Methoxetamine Thread - Part 13: Don't you know? MXE comes from MXE-co

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Mr. Meowfish damn!!! I agree with a lot of the things you've said about MXE. That rhyme was also extravagant! There is definitely therapeutic benefit with moderate, responsible use.

I haven't had any in at least a year and I just recently received a gram of very quality stuff. Right now I'm floating on a lovely 30 mg oral dose.

It's been a tough, but great few months for me. I've been learning a new trade and working my ass off, waking at 4 every morning. We're all slaves to the dollar.

Anyways, I've always been a borderline alcoholic, but the past few months I've been developing a cocaine and opiate habit. Psychedelics have always been my cup of tea and I've always been eager to expand my consciousness. Alot of times though, with my drug use, I can end up being extremely depressed or anxious. MXE though is just a different beast altogether.

No other drug I've taken before has actually made me feel healthy. Weird. It makes me glow with inner peace and serenity. And no other drug has ever helped me to curb my insatiable appetite for booze. My aches and pains are nonexistent when on MXE.

Alas, I have been through this before though. The honeymoon stage is indescribably beautiful. Of course all good things come to an end if you abuse. It will turn me into a stumbling, stuttering, confused/insane mess if I go overboard with it.

As always, moderation is the key. Some people glorify MXE because it is indeed glorious. It's not for everyone, but those who like it, typically love it. It is my soma for now, because it keeps me away from the bottle and makes me generally easier to be around. But there are certaintly risks with abuse, and they should never be overlooked. But tonight, I am finally content.
 
vortech said:
I am not you, so I can not tell you WHY you are depressed, but you have to listen and respond. Maybe you aren't moving enough, maybe you need more sunshine, maybe less computer and TV. Maybe you need a lover. I don't know, but for me I was able to more easily discern the source of my signals with dissociative therapy. Good Luck!
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Great advice, though I actually don't have too much to be depressed about at this point in time. During my use I always dosed daily for a week or two with a week long break inbetween, on my off weeks I never experienced depression because I always knew I had more coming. I think it's just the fact that even though it is still available to me I will probably never get to exprerience this wonderful chemical again so I've been trying to emulate the experience with dxm. For some reason my fiance' does not like the way I act on mxe but is totally fine with me using dxm:p
 
^Now that is a conundrum for which I do not have an answer for , other than that it is not a problem of yours, but rather a problem of your fiance who could maybe learn a bit more compassion. Still, I wish you luck on resolving it without the need of a chemical mistress (and I do believe you can do it!)
 
Thanks my new Mexi-Friends........Ha. It's pretty fun describing MXE to people, from the Effects, to the Crazy Delusional Thoughts - this compound is the complete package Psychedelic in my Opinion. The little bit of Serotonin function that it has in the Brain is just enough to make it like taking LSD and Ketamine at the same time. The LSD makes it so you can fucking move around on the Ketamine, although sometimes you'll still get put the fuck down. MXE can do that, but the Immobility just doesn't Last like with Ketamine. Thus why 3- MeO-2-Oxo-PCE absolutely crushed Ketamine in the Blind Pepsi Challenge Drug Addict Taste Test Of The Century Bitch. Ketamine users preferred Methoxetamine over original Ketalar brand Ketaset Ketamina almost 69 to 1. Good god damn Uncle Sam - Never woulda thought Ketamine would be a Sham - Ain't no point in even havin a taste - My Tolerance makes your Ketamine a Waste - I guess that's why I'm always on that Chase - Tryin to dance all night with Maxine on a Star In Space - Are you Truly Meditation or just another Drug Craze - Or is this compound just another passing Phase - In a life that will always be guided by addictions Ways - Most people like the Straight Path, Kindly Point me to the Maze - Maxine she told me "Baby, now you can Rhyme for days" - You can make a Rhyme of anything with dat Style and Grace - But you better make sure you know how to Respect - You'll never be able to guess how deeply you must Reflect - I got love for MXE like a Gangsta for his Tech - Nine, is how many Grams I wish I still had - How long until they make my show "Breaking Methoxetamina Bad" - Oh damn, I kinda like that last Verse - I think it's time I signed off, gettin late, you could say I'm Cursed - Mr. Meowfish
 
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I'm glad to hear my soul-brotha' Mr. Meowfish aka Curse, Third Eye Family has found stability and happiness again. Of course with the help of the miraculous compound of that which is methoxetamine.

I sit here, awaiting the day that I can have some MXE back in my life, to put the chemical imbalances in my brain back to a balance of happiness via arylcyclohexylamines. MXE can lift that monkey, or should I say "that fucking gorilla", off my back, while at the same time: healing my body and mind, teaching me about the healing powers of MXE, teaching me about myself, and while under the aura of methoxetamine, I can begin to understand how every living organism's energy connects in some mystical and harmonious way with the universe. Almost like breaking through on DMT, but of course, being through NMDA antagonism and dissociation.

I always associate dissociatives, but ESPECIALLY methoxetamine with a warm nostalgia *The Nostalgia should I say. It brings back pleasant memories and when in deep M-holes I can begin to put pieces of my life together understanding why I turned out the way I am and why people close to me have turned out a certain way or made a significant life decision. It's like the comfortable warmth of being a child, curious and learning about the world again.

My house is on a big ass hill (Meowfish knows this) and when I'm MXE'd out, sometimes I look out the window or down at my neighborhood, all the houses, people, cars, and I truly understand every action I make affects the energy of the universe. That view is like a metaphor to me, that each person is in a way, their own god. Such a perfect view for a MXE experience!

//hang yo' head fool aka ASIDE.ONE
 
I think that everyone that's been following this thread lately would agree that, you could say I enjoy this interesting Compound - but today, I had one of the most interesting and Eye Opening experiences thanks to a break that I've been taking for the past week or so. I kind of have to give a little back story about my General Drug Habits in order for this shit to make Sense, but I figured out why Cat's like CaptainKratom, or Honestly why a whole lot of people DO NOT enjoy MXE, and from my experience today, I realized that it's not the MXE that's the issue - not when people complain about Batch Quality or Potency, or when some people say they just plain don't enjoy the buzz. The drug is the same, even when it's a different Synth - sure, it may have different Characteristics, but it's always the same Compound at the Core - different features and abilities of the compound are Amplified depending on the Style of Synthesizing that they go with. Anyways, what happened today was so Weird, I just had to say something about it...........
I did some MXE today for the first time in a week, I was all excited, did a nice little dot - and low and behold, I did not like how I felt. But what the fuck is going on? This makes no sense............It's the same batch, same everything, what the fuck is going on - it feels completely different, but I know it's the same. What in the flying fuckytronics is going on Goddammit, I want my Cuddling With the Universe time! Anyways, I sat there kind of stunned for a few minutes, wondering what the fuck was going on - and it came to me. When I run out of MXE, I do crave it, I think about it, but it's in the back of my mind - it's like, oh yeah, that would be fun to do this weekend Huh, that kind of thing - but anyways...I take Subutex daily, usually between 1-2mgs, and usually Orally. I've noticed, occasionally, not every time, but sometimes after the MXE exits, I get tempted via my addictive personality to abuse my Subutex a little bit just for something to do on days when I get bored or feel like I need to get intoxicated. I openly admit that I'm an Addict, you don't need to waste your breath telling me quit using drugs..........I plan on using a substance daily until it's no longer fun, or until my Brain decides that it's finally willing to work right on it's own without the aid of different Compounds. I have Bi-Polar Disorder and Schizophrenia as well, and Dissociatives and Benzo's completely control my condition, as well as my compulsions and my Addictive Personality. I have to take my Subutex, because that fucking Heroin Demon still lives in the back of my Brain and just waits until I'm at my weakest to pop his little no brain, no talent, fucking head out, talking shit telling me to Use even though I fucking hate Opiates now. They still own a portion of my Brain, which Subutex is currently occupying. When I'm not taking MXE, I have a much harder time controlling my compulsion to abuse my Subutex, trying to find an enjoyable buzz which just IS NOT there.
This past week, that's precisely what happened. 2-3 days ago, I was running out of energy for work, getting tired, running out of Bud and Money - and I started doing a little 1mg bump of Subutex in the morning, and occasionally one at night if I started feeling crappy. I start to come down and feel noticeably sick after only 14-16hours I have such a fast Metabolism it's fucking retarded. My body processes drugs like they're fucking water. Anyways, over the past few days, I've been building up Buprenorphine in my system, and even tho I can't actually "Feel" it actively anymore in my body, it is still there. Well, today when I just got down on some MXE after my little break - it did not feel very enjoyable, the Euphoria was Strange, more Dysphoric than anything else, and I got confused, thought what the fuck is happening? This is FOR SURE the same MXE, what's going on? The MXE amplified the dormant Buprenorphine in my system, turning up the Volume in my Brain, making the amount of Bupe Buildup VERY noticeable. The thought of how much nasty Synthetic Opiate Bullshit I had built up in my system and how dumb I was acting snorting those Pills that I hate and shit just for something to do.................I started to feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it, and then went to the Bathroom and threw up. The MXE Amplified and showed me just how Dirty of a Drug Buprenorphine is, and just how OUTDATED Opiates are in general. The high is very Dirty Feeling, kind of like too much DXM - once your brain becomes accustomed to the Cleanest, Most Wonderfully Euphoric Teaching Compound Psychedelic on the Planet currently. Opiates are Outdated Technology - that's what MXE just told me. Time to Re-Boot my system and get this nasty shit the fuck OUT of here. Over the next 2 days, I will be SAVING my MXE until the Bupe clears out of my system. I can't even enjoy my MXE right now because the Bupe adds such a Nasty Flavor to the Buzz and High of the MXE.
People who are Addicted to Opiates and concentrate most of their energy around those Compounds are probably not going to have a very good time with MXE, unless they take a VERY small amount, maybe less than 15mgs honestly...MXE shows your brain how AWFUL Opiates truly are for You, Your Body, Your Soul, and the Human Psyche. I still don't give a fuck if people want to do 'em, do you Playa - but I'm fucking done, I'm out!! I want to get off this Subutex so bad - and the crazy thing is, I KNOW in the back of my mind, that pretty soon, stuff is going to work out to where I have enough Money, MXE, Benzodiazepines and Weed that I'm going to FINALLY get 100% off of Opiates so I can finally be myself. It's just such a battle because the W/D's make me so unstable, I've hurt myself way too many times. That's why the MXE is so beneficial for my mental health. It keeps my Brain Chemistry in line, at the Proper Levels - It's a very good Regulator, pretty fucking insane really.
This is what I truly appreciate about this compound though and why I have such an Interest/Obsession with it. There is ALWAYS something new to Learn or be Taught, and MXE wants to show you the way - because MXE is YOU, it's your Heart, it's your Soul, it's the Essence of who you are trying to get out and show you how to be the Best Human Being that you are Capable of Being. It's beyond Trippy at this point, We need a new Word to describe what the fuck is happening here!!
Vortech................any suggestions??? This shit is wild. Sorry for always making such long posts, but for real - there is something special going on, and I just want to try and help everyone gain understanding what the fuck is happening. All I know is, I'm definitely feeling this Rollercoaster - you never know where it's going to take you.
What up HangYourHead - glad you're still doing good man. Stay up on that Methadone program and your life will just keep getting better. It just takes Time and Patience. We'll chill soon buddy. Take Care of Yourself. Have Fun Everybody - Mr. Meowfish
 
Mr. Meowfish said:
This is what I truly appreciate about this compound though and why I have such an Interest/Obsession with it. There is ALWAYS something new to Learn or be Taught, and MXE wants to show you the way - because MXE is YOU, it's your Heart, it's your Soul, it's the Essence of who you are trying to get out and show you how to be the Best Human Being that you are Capable of Being. It's beyond Trippy at this point,
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we need an old word to describe this... i have a suggestion:

"Eudaimonia is a Greek word commonly translated as happiness or welfare; however, "human flourishing" has been proposed as a more accurate translation.[1] Etymologically, it consists of the words "eu" ("good") and "daimōn" ("spirit"). It is a central concept in Aristotelian ethics and political philosophy, along with the terms "aretē", most often translated as "virtue" or "excellence", and "phronesis", often translated as "practical or ethical wisdom".[2] In Aristotle's works, eudaimonia was (based on older Greek tradition) used as the term for the highest human good, and so it is the aim of practical philosophy, including ethics and political philosophy, to consider (and also experience) what it really is, and how it can be achieved."

from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eudaimonia
 
vortech said:
By the way, can we rename this drug 'Eudaimonia'? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eudaimonia
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I read that whole Wiki posting about Eudaimonia after your posting this Vortech - and then another cat just posted recommending the exact same thing........After reading that, I absolutely agree that the feeling / serenity/ inner peace that MXE can give you, just the overall feel of the compound - Eudaimonia absolutely describes in full detail what's going on during this experience. It's that search for being you True Self, trying to be what a Human Being is truly supposed to be at it's core. It's a very interesting concept and not surprising at all that the thought is so old. Sometimes I feel like the Human Species nowadays has genuinely FORGOT some really important shit that we've known for Centuries since we've outlawed Drug Use Worldwide for literally the first time with any real success in the History of Humanity. The rise of Christianity has really killed the attitude of Drug Use being an acceptable way of searching for something greater than ourselves. It's like, if people can't call something incredible and amazing God, or put some label on it, they get all freaked the fuck out and think shit is Evil or Morally Bankrupt or some shit. Fuck that. All I know about MXE is that it's helping my life, it's helping my Brain, and it's currently making me into a better Human Being in my Opinion. When it stops doing that, I will walk away. If my body get's beat the fuck up, I will walk away. Until then - in the amazing words of one our American President's, from the movie Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, My Friend, Abraham Lincoln..............."Party On Dudes"........and that's what the fuck I'll be doing until life give's me the signal it's time to move on. Enjoy your life friends. I'm really diggin' the conversation in this thread lately, although it is kinda funny when "Casual Onlookers" pop in for a second..........it seems like heads either Get this page and what we're talking about entirely, or they're like "What in the God Damn Mother Fuck is going on up in this Bitch?? These fucker's are on some DRUGSSSSS! Be safe everybody - Meowfisherman
 
Cosmic Ape did we seriously just have a synchronicity moment this profound? Tell me you brought up Eudaimonia without realizing I had posted the EXACT SAME FUCKING WORD on the last page of this thread.

WILD.
 
Mr. Meowfish said:
There is ALWAYS something new to Learn or be Taught, and MXE wants to show you the way - because MXE is YOU, it's your Heart, it's your Soul, it's the Essence of who you are trying to get out and show you how to be the Best Human Being that you are Capable of Being. It's beyond Trippy at this point, We need a new Word to describe what the fuck is happening here!!
Vortech................any suggestions??? This shit is wild.
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Folks, let me frankly explain what just happened on this thread for all of you casual viewers here.
Mr. Meowish addressed me specifically to help create a new word to quantify the extremely unique nature of this drug, and another user responded with the word 'Eudaimonia' , an archaic, esoteric word rooted in Greek and possibly linked to the oldest form of human language. This is the very word I was going to say as my response to Mr. Meowfish, as evidenced by my post yesterday linking to the Wikipedia article of said word.
Please take this with a delusional grain of salt of course, but to me this occurrence is supreme evidence of a larger power at work- Very real evidence of a network of non-local consciousness, the Akashic Record, the Noosphere, The Zero-point Field, a Morphogenetic (or Morphogenic) Field, whatever you want to call it- it is called many things by many people- a network that perhaps MXE is helping us tune into more clearly.
 
I just dosed 20mg's today to see what a light dose would do for therapeutic mood enhancement, and I had the most interesting thought. Not necessarily true, but here it goes. So there are so many black holes in space, also there are super massive black holes, devouring everything that gets into their pull. Stars, planets, everything, sucked and crushed into whatever may be past the event horizon. What if originally there was the source energy, or god, and something shattered this energy or sentient being or force if you see it that way, causing the big bang and everything that we know today. And what if the black holes are just the natural order of things realigning themselves. What if all of this is wrong, and that the black holes are bringing this source energy or being back together the way it should be. What if that is heaven, to be reunited with the stars and the source energy? I have no prexisting definite religious point of view, but this is an interesting thing to think about, and brings to my attention that although what is happening in life and on earth is of great importance to us individually, in the grander scheme of things us being alive and loving, living, killing, hating laughing, and dying, is only a part of the cycle of life in the cycle of earths life, in the cycle of our sun and galaxies life, which is part of a cycle of the universes life, which is just one part of a cycle of the sources life. Time is infinite and so is possibility. I end with that, your thoughts would be appreciated!
 
Mr. Meowfish said:
I KNOW in the back of my mind, that pretty soon, stuff is going to work out to where I have enough Money, MXE, Benzodiazepines and Weed that I'm going to FINALLY get 100% off of Opiates so I can finally be myself. It's just such a battle because the W/D's make me so unstable, I've hurt myself way too many times. That's why the MXE is so beneficial for my mental health. It keeps my Brain Chemistry in line, at the Proper Levels - It's a very good Regulator, pretty fucking insane really.
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This is very dangerous thinking. It is quite true that opiates are soul destroyers but benzodiazepines are far worse beasts and nobody knows what the long term holds for MXE use and abuse. You are quite delusional if you think that methoxetamine is going to help comorbid addiction, mood, and affective disorders. You're playing with fire here and trust me, you're going to get burned if you proceed down this path. At best you are switching one addiction for one (possibly two) more, at worst you are risking a total psychotic breakdown of all reason and being locked up in a facility for an undetermined amount of time.

I can't in good conscience leave this alone. You are showing alarming signs of a looming psychotic breakdown. I should know, I'm NOT schizo or psychotic normally but I started down a similar path as you're currently on with a few drugs (DXM was the first psychotic break break that I had after using it for who knows how long at whatever dose I happened to drink and marezine caused a similar break, I had one the first and only time I smoked PCP as well). I really lost it when I went on polydrug benders.

In any case, reading your posts are reminding me of how mine were before my last psychotic break that prompted me to leave the drugs alone since early 2011 and that one actually involved MXE. I ignored the advice of everyone here in PD to slow the hell down and I'm lucky I was able to pull myself out... So I'm offering up my experience in hopes of preventing you from going through all the things that I did or worse. Mind you that included multiple inpatient stays where I was diagnosed from depression to ADHD to bipolar but luckily I never got the schizo diagnosis although that didn't stop me from being on every atypical they threw at me and all kinds of ludicrous combinations.

Please take a look at what you are doing and slow down before you end up some place that you can't make it back easily from. Benzos especially. I have kicked every psychoactive substance in my life, including alcohol and nicotine (I am definitely an alcoholic and I'm going on 2 months without so much as a beer), but I can't kick benzos and I've never abused them. I also have a huge hole in my life from the years of prescribed benzos. They strip you of everything that you are. I'm on a long taper right now and it isn't any easier. Psychologically I'm a fucking disaster area. I can't even remember who I was before I started the benzos...
 
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Thanks for lookin' out MagickalKat777 - I completely understand where you're coming from and I appreciate you looking out for me and having concern. There have been times in my life when I was much younger that I never would have believed that a random Human Being would give a flying fuck about anything going on in my life. I do Thank You for that - but I will say one thing - as ridiculous as the shit that I'm talking about sounds.......................
What I'm posting is for Education, Entertainment, and hopefully at some point Medical Progress for people suffering from Depression, Bi-Polar Disorder, and Schizophrenia. I was addicted to Heroin, unable to function, I had no desire to get out of bed in the morning, on average during my Heavy Opiate use, I tried to kill myself or overdose at least once for every year I was addicted, some years twice, and it was always during W/D's. Since I started my own version of Dissociative Therapy 2.5 years ago, these desires, and patterns of Self Harm have stopped. My Depression has been lifted for the first time in my life. I've finally found myself and who I truly am. You can call me crazy, or say this or that - but to be honest, Delusion or Not, this whole Reality that we Create for Ourselves Daily is an Illusion Anyways - My entire life, has been fucked up, non stop.........filled with unhappiness, loneliness,violence,despair, shit you really don't want to know or hear about, or maybe you would - I don't know. Sometimes you have to take a step back and look at the whole picture to understand why something is occurring. If I was trading one Addiction for another, I would just admit it. I'm not on BL to get clean and live drug free - that is not my desire and never will be. I'll put it to you like this - I was raised as part of a REALLY fucked up Religion that FUCKED UP my HEAD for Life. I was already OCD, Overly Analytical and Depressed and Suicidal before any drug ever touched my body. I was Straight Edge until I was almost 20......I just live fast and know what I like. I've lived too many years of misery to change my game plan, and I have no want or reason to change - I enjoy my life more than I ever have before, I'm a better person than I've ever been capable of being, I have actual friends in real life for the first time in a while, and they like actually really enjoy my company and are happy to have me back from Opiates, I go to work every day, I handle my shit, I go out and live my life..............What am I doing wrong? I know I'm Wild.............I like it like that and that's how it's gonna stay. This is who I am. I love Drugs. They saved me from Mental Hell and Brainwashing by some fucked up shit that shouldn't exist. I appreciate them for what they are, and I will be taking whatever compounds I deem fit for the rest of my life. I'm one of those people that has intentionally eaten 20 hits of LSD with the INTENT of getting stuck "Permanently Tripping" like people love to tell stories about their friends, friends, friend - you know, that one guy who ate all that acid and was trippin' 4Eva.......I wanted to be that guy. I tried to get stuck permanently trippin'. It didn't work. I was Pissed. My brain does not Function how it's supposed to for me to be able to function in this world, and it never has. I like who I am, and plan on doing what I do until I can't do it no mo.
As for the entire concept of "Addiction", I'm kind of tired of people trying to tell me...........Well you've got to get Sober at some point in your life............Are you planning on giving up Sex at some point in your life? I don't think that's a very healthy addiction, I heard that it hurts your Penis when you do it too much, especially if you're crazy enough to do "It" while under the influence of Drugs - then your Penis is guaranteed a real Beating. I think everyone should give up Sex, it offends me. I'll make a deal with everyone......................If you give up your Computer Addiction, I'll give up MXE............sound like a fair trade, although I guess I wouldn't be able to check and see which decision gets made. I'm not trying to be a dick, but the life IS addiction. All we do is constantly chase SOMETHING that makes us happy, whether it be Drugs, Sex, Work, Money, Cigarettes - there's too many. Fuck, some people are addicted to Using Other People Up!! That's a worse addiction than Drugs. I don't hurt anyone. Just my Veins, and barely those. I just see the Human Experience as being one long Journey for Pleasure/Purpose in the first place, so why the fuck would I give up one of the best parts of life? Would you give up Sex if it was all that kept you happy and stable? Change Perspective, Adjust dat Ego - See it thru Mr. Meowfish's Eyes, and I guarantee you just Laugh and Have Fun like the rest of the Heads in this Thread that I chat with. I appreciate the Sentiment, but I Kindly, Do Not Agree with you at all. I only learn thru Personal Experience, this is my path and I'm walking it. Thanks for your concern.
My smiles come from Intoxication. Call me Lame. Call me Stupid. I just don't care at this point in my life. I'm informed about what I'm doing, I try and do what I do Safely and Intelligently, and that's how I live my life. I'm sorry if my behavior worries you, that's not my intent. I guess I can just post about MXE Philosophy and stuff like that if you're legitimately wigged out by my Posts.
 
Yeah my opinion is that you cannot fully reap the benefits of MXE whilst intoxicated on benzodiazepines.

MXE increases your awareness and deepens your thoughts, while increasing your motivating and reducing your fear.

Benzos just reduce your fear and lessen everything else.

I enjoyed your posts on MXE Meowfish... I look forward to hearing what you have to say about the "living trip" that MXE is when you are clear of negative substances. Make some moves brother. I've been there. It's 100x better on the other side.
 
Meowfish, I get where you're coming from. We have a lot of parallels that I won't go into here. Hit me with a PM if you would like, its not subject matter for this thread.

What really stopped me in my tracks was my benzo addiction that crept up on me out of nowhere and I don't want to see anyone go down that path. Suffice to say that I've been addicted to many things over the years and I've quit all of them, in my own time, with little to no issue when I decided I wanted to. I have a very strong will. But benzos take a lot more than a strong will.

If you take anything from this, please heed my warning about benzos and fight using them every day. They're far more sinister than opiates.

As far as MXE, I don't contest the fact that NMDA antagonists can be wonderful tools. I'm on a daily 60mg dose of DXM polistirex (5mL every 12 hours, the children's dose) and kicked cigarettes cold turkey for the first time ever, stopped drinking, and I'm finally not having all of the horrendous physical side effects of my benzo withdrawal plus I've had a noticeable mood lift over baseline even on really bad days. That's not using it for any recreational effects though and DXM builds little, if any, tolerance.

Anyway, I know exactly where you're coming from and I didn't listen when people told me so I don't expect you to listen either. Just watch out for those benzos. Good luck man!

Oh and I never said I plan to be sober for the rest of my life. I'm cleaning up just until I get my GABA system back to normal and get into better physical shape. Once that's done, I'm already planning on a mescaline journey. I'm just doing what's best for me right now for once. I don't campaign against drugs and I have a few that will be back in my life in a year give or take depending on my taper and recovery.
 
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