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Opioids I fancy getting high

Hiya bunge,

God I've made a big mistake, haven't I? A friend told me to go on sub. She was on codeine n then went on sub for years now I'm hearing all these stories about the withdrawals.
Someone gave a 42 logo on their withdrawal I read it all they were on sub for 7 years n had a bad time of it by the log I read.

Sub never made me high it made me feel flat, normal n I could not deal with it. I started drinking heavily in the evening to deal with the emptiness. I cannot explain the feeling I felt flat n now I do ANYTHING TO FILL THAT EMPTY HOLE IN ME. Drink in the evenings, spend, eat - I can't stand it. My emotions were always too intense for me to deal with n there was the emptiness that has ALWAYS been there.

Whee i had my L5/S1 disc infusion n was prescribed my 30/500 codeibe (still cant truly see that without feeling triggered) I felt like heaven had opened to me. Codeine cured all my pain: the loneliness, hunger for people, took away anger, hurt n filled me with warmth n energy: made me feel alive (I knew once I gave it up I'd be a hateful, hortible person) n when I have spent my life escaping from me as I dispise myself well codeine was there for me. The grieve I felt for codeine in withdrawals was unreal. Yes I'm probably talking stupid. Someone said I'm stupid n they're right. I figured that psychologically if i got on suboxone that I'd get over it quicker as I don't have the same psychological connection with suboxone that i had with codeine.
I knew someone once called oxymaddened n I miss her because she was sensible n tried helping me.


Thank you everyone for commenting n advice. Means alot n is much appreciated xx
Evey xxx
 
Your very welcome Evey, your story did resonate with me and your no more stupid then the rest of us. I would say 90% (at least) of users on bluelight have a drug problem and most of them are opiate abusers.
My own dependance problem was with zopiclone, a drug dependance that alot of people would laugh at, but to me it was unbearably addictive and felt like it could soothe away all my problems.
Bearing in mind that I have a binge mentality and have binged on some of the most addictive drugs aroundwith no dependance problems. I firmly believe that we all have a drug that hits all the buttons and makes us feel so good that we develop a problem with it, it just depends in whether we come into contact with our DOC.
From your explanation of how codeine made you feel id hazard a guess that your issues maybe more mental health related then pain related.
Im not in any way trying to downplay your issues as opiates ability to ease anxiety and lift mood is not to be underestimated.
I do however think that buprenorphine may be causing a dysphoria (a sign that its likely unsuitable for you) and if you want to sort out your addiction issues then you have to find some relief from mental health issues, this will give you the breathing room to tackle your addiction.
Please dont feel like your problems are stupid, you are capable of stupid decisions like all of us but your problems are not stupid and shame on anyone who makes you feel like they are.
I liked that comment about the grieve you felt as you withdrawed from codeine.
Withdrawing from your DOC is very similar to grief; very fitting words.
If you need someone to talk things over with then dont hesitate to PM me, im always availiable for a chat.
 
If you really are planning on jumping off at 2mgs I would suggest looking into kratom. Stopping at 2mgs is probably going to leave you with about a month of depression, RLS, insomnia, hot/cold flashes ect. I never had the will power required for a proper taper. On my last sub kick I went cold turkey at 4mgs and waited 3 days before I started taking kratom. IME good quality Bali can completely suppress sub w/ds, you can take the kratom daily for a little over a month to give the sub time to clear your system. Kratom w/ds are child's play compared to bupe.
 
Last edited:
^
But be careful with the kratom dose, keep it low because its effects will feel similar to codeine.
It will give you energy but will also be calming and lift mood.
 
bunge said:
Your very welcome Evey, your story did resonate with me and your no more stupid then the rest of us. I would say 90% (at least) of users on bluelight have a drug problem and most of them are opiate abusers.
My own dependance problem was with zopiclone, a drug dependance that alot of people would laugh at, but to me it was unbearably addictive and felt like it could soothe away all my problems.
Bearing in mind that I have a binge mentality and have binged on some of the most addictive drugs aroundwith no dependance problems. I firmly believe that we all have a drug that hits all the buttons and makes us feel so good that we develop a problem with it, it just depends in whether we come into contact with our DOC.
From your explanation of how codeine made you feel id hazard a guess that your issues maybe more mental health related then pain related.
Im not in any way trying to downplay your issues as opiates ability to ease anxiety and lift mood is not to be underestimated.
I do however think that buprenorphine may be causing a dysphoria (a sign that its likely unsuitable for you) and if you want to sort out your addiction issues then you have to find some relief from mental health issues, this will give you the breathing room to tackle your addiction.
Please dont feel like your problems are stupid, you are capable of stupid decisions like all of us but your problems are not stupid and shame on anyone who makes you feel like they are.
I liked that comment about the grieve you felt as you withdrawed from codeine.
Withdrawing from your DOC is very similar to grief; very fitting words.
If you need someone to talk things over with then dont hesitate to PM me, im always availiable for a chat.
Click to expand...

Thank you - someone I thiught was a good friend turned on me recently. The last few weeks I've gone through codeine withdrawal, been put on suboxone which has made me feel empty so I've gained weight. To be its bad because I was active doing bechbody INSANITY, P90Z 6 days aweeks.
I know I am ugly but now ive put back on all the weight - gone from £4,600 of savings to £4,000 in debt. I dont kniw what to do. My life is spiralling out of controlling nall people can do is mock me or reject me. I need help so much I don't know what to do anymore. I want to be liked so much but it's obviously I'm a horrible person. I just don't know how to change things. Please help help me who is not going to mock me or turn on me /
:( i hate myself n know im a wste of space i dont need further battering :(

PS:rox what: kraton? Lol you're reason for editing made me laugh haha - thank u i needed that :)
 
Oh ROXIanne! said:
If you really are planning on jumping off at 2mgs I would suggest looking into kratom. Stopping at 2mgs is probably going to leave you with about a month of depression, RLS, insomnia, hot/cold flashes ect. I never had the will power required for a proper taper. On my last sub kick I went cold turkey at 4mgs and waited 3 days before I started taking kratom. IME good quality Bali can completely suppress sub w/ds, you can take the kratom daily for a little over a month to give the sub time to clear your system. Kratom w/ds are child's play compared to bupe.
Click to expand...

Yeah 2mg's is much too high of dose to hop off of. I recommend .5mg's or lower, preferably .25mg's. The difference in withdrawal intensity is great.
 
The thing people fail to realize is that snorting crushed sub tablets into a dry nasal passage will not let the bupe absorb properly.

You need to waterline, make a nasal spray or moisten the nasal passage with a saline spray...
 
That's right. I tried it once, and it did nothing for me. I was sick, and it was my last dose. After I snorted it, I was still feeling not sick, so some of it got through, but I was not held;.I felt I'd done 1 mg rather than the 4 I'd sniffed. In my time, I've IV'd, snorted, and IR'd this drug, but now I take as directed. BA wise, it's less effective than alternative ROA, but by going SL I get dependability of effects.

Bit off topic, but I take my bupe in 2 doses. The warming effect it gives disappears within 3 hours maximum, fading to nothing. I feel I need that effect to get me through some long, stressfull days. Would it be Worthing taking my prescribed dose of 12 mg in one dose? I did it once, and it didn't feel any different than the 6 I take.

It's not for me, but perhaps nasal bupe would be more effective if dissolved in liquid and taken by a nasal inhaler?
 
Kratom is a natural herb which made by drying the leafs of a type of large south-east asian tree.
The main active chemical is mitragynine which binds to the opiate receptors as a full agonist (like codeine or morphine) and is around the same potentcy as hydrocodone/dihydrocodeine.
In low doses its consider slighty stimulating yet calming, with mild painkilling effects (like codeine). In high doses its more sedating and has moderate painkillers effects.
Kratom traditionally has been used as an opium substitute or to treat opium addiction and in modern times has become popular again for its ability to interrupt opiate withdrawal.
The main worry with it is that kratom is addictive itself and if your not careful you could trade one addiction for another.
 
Its very similar yet different in a few aspects. I dont think at your point it would be a good idea to introduce you to another opiate/opioid but its good information to have as a future aid.
Have you discussed with your do ctor about how crappy the sub makes you feel, its a fantastic treatment but that doesnt mean its right for everyone.
 
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