tomorrow is the day ive set for my next bupe reduction. 1.0 mg to 0.5mg. Not looking forward to it, but i have promised myself that im gonna do it, and hopefully typing it here will in someway mean that there is no backing out now, and that i have totally commited to it. Id better chop the half pill into a quarter tonight, just incase i take the whole half before ive woken up properly tomorrow.
Sam, Sam, Sam, what are we going to do with you, you said you werent gonna get addicted again but thats two nights running, and then you'll have a whole weekend presumably off work. I dont like the sound of this 'i need more thing' before the first dose has even hit you. You are becoming obsessed with it. I can imagine the appeal, odt was spectualar enough for me, once you get into 4 days running kind of usage patterns you can start to loose your judgement and throw all caution to the wind. At lkeast that was my experience, i didnt kill myself but its taken about 2 years to be on the verge of getting out of this slavery to opiates.
All this shit must be a bummer to read when your high, you probably dont read it when your high, i undertsand the appeal the escape from everything, but it doesnt solve your problems, it makes them worse, and adds a dead risky potential addiction on top of any other things you may have on your plate. This then ultimately could become yor biggest problem. I dont want you to die, or fuck your life up, I need that bright spark of yours when i come to EADD.