so did I overdose or what?

[pmz]

OK so a few of you might know my story. but about 6 months ago I had a weekend of 2 days where I consumed about 1 gram of MDMA (could have been a MDA/MDMA mix) and ketamine.
when sunday morning came, I felt very out of it and shot out. Didnt really feel like shit, I just felt really brain dead for the day. but panic and anxiety wise during the day, I was pretty good I believe. I had a really hard time sleeping sunday night. I was waking up alot with anxiety and worrying about work. Then monday, I went to work starting my day really tired. I tried to get a project done and realized I could not focus or use my brain in any way. I started to freak out. And had a major anxiety attack. I had a very demanding week where things were very hectic in general, and since I could barely focus or concentrate, I kept freaking out and having worse and worse anxiety. The anxiety did not stop and had persisted for 5 months after that. I then started to get feeling of derealization, insomnia, anxiety consistently, feeling of apathy (which is a symptom of depersonilization I believe) and a terrible brain fog.

SO my question is, what exactly happened to me?

Did I experience an overdose?

Did I just take too much drugs that caused me to feel really shot out, then when I had to work I had an anxiety attack that triggered this deperonilization?

Everyone says after a week or so the drugs are out of your system, but what fucked me up for the few months, did I blow out my brain from the molly/k combo, or did the anxiety cause depersonilization.


If you look up what depersonilization is, if basically describes all the symptoms I got. People who never tried drugs get Depersonilization for years. Its usually triggered from a traumatic event, which is what I believe I had when I went to work and could not focus and had a very demanding week that gave me anxiey.

 

[Mysterie]

this is what happens when ppl abuse mdma consecutive days at high doses

it short-circuits ur serotonin system somehow, so it just takes time and effort to get to the mindstate you were before

its good to learn these lesson early anyway

 

[ShytK]

I'm on my 4th month now. I have a similar story with two consecutive nights of use of something that was presumably MDMA. 12 people took it in my group and all had no hangovers really other than me which is my 4th month now.

The closest theory I can come to is that it is related to the HPA axis / stress. This is really the only one that makes sense in my opinion.

Obviously at first my situation was REALLY bad, slept 20 hrs per day and barely got up to walk. After a few weeks it got better. It started getting better until I started reading up online about what could have been happening to me and that's when it started getting worse again. The anxiety started picking up a few weeks ago and got worse each day. Aside from anxiety/panic attacks I also can easily gauge my health based on my level of noise anxiety. If I am in a quiet room and hear a pin drop in a few rooms away it drives me nuts. That gets better when I calm myself, and gets worse when I start worrying more and more.

3 days ago I went to my last doctor that I had lined up and he was absolutely garbage. Didn't help at all. After I left his office I said to myself "screw this bullshit, I'm going to take matters into my own hands, toughen up, and stop worrying about this bs". And believe it or not, I was in the middle of an anxiety attack when i said that in my mind and the anxiety immediately eased. I went home, and never ended up being tired that day.

3 days later I'm still going through my entire day without being tired. Which would be my first after 3-4 long months. This is not enough days to gauage anything yet, but if it continues then it may be a sign.

I am now quite convinced this is all mental / stress related. I am guessing first you have to stop worrying (and I know that can be so difficult with all those problems). You just need 1 good day that will convince you to keep a positive attitude/hope from that day on. And that's what happened for me a few days ago.

I have dark eye circles that I never used to have. I know I am not reaching deep sleep and my sleep is interrupted every few hours. And the ONLY theory that makes sense is stress. Being in front of a computer seems to be worse btw. Getting out helps big time.

Btw, just incase you are wondering, I did start taking the following lately:

-500mg Pantothenic acid (Vitamin B5) per day in the morning
-Magnesium Citrate 400mg before bed time
-Valerian Root 400mg before bed time

If you look up Chronic Fatigue. All these symptoms you mentioned are related to Chronic Fatigue. I actually never had depersonalition/derealization/depression, but I do have VERY bad sleep and was very very tired during the day. I do have brain fog as well and it gets worse after exercise. And that again is why I think it is all stress related because Chronic Fatigue means you should NOT exercise. Exercise = straining your entire system = stress. It's a big no-no so I'm surprised everyone here advocates exercising which I think is wrong and my body clearly says don't do it.

Chronic Fatigue means 500mg pantothenic acid in the AM to help yourself and no sugars / caffeine. Try it. Also, if it is Chronic Fatigue then you should order Dr Wilson's Adrenal Rebuilder. I actually ordered it but haven't tried it yet. It just came in but the last few days have been looking up so I'm minimizing any supplements/drugs for time being.

Finally, I did have Cortisol tests dont and my cortisol level was a flat 3.0 all day which is really low. That mean sChronic Fatigue. I reordered the test and I'm sure it will come in higher this time, I will know in a week or two.


PS
I'd also like to add that masturbation / even looking at porn makes it much worse for me. Abstain from it 100% for at least 1-2 weeks and let us know if tha thelps.

 

[pmz]

I'm on my 4th month now. I have a similar story with two consecutive nights of use of something that was presumably MDMA. 12 people took it in my group and all had no hangovers really other than me which is my 4th month now.

The closest theory I can come to is that it is related to the HPA axis / stress. This is really the only one that makes sense in my opinion.

Obviously at first my situation was REALLY bad, slept 20 hrs per day and barely got up to walk. After a few weeks it got better. It started getting better until I started reading up online about what could have been happening to me and that's when it started getting worse again. The anxiety started picking up a few weeks ago and got worse each day. Aside from anxiety/panic attacks I also can easily gauge my health based on my level of noise anxiety. If I am in a quiet room and hear a pin drop in a few rooms away it drives me nuts. That gets better when I calm myself, and gets worse when I start worrying more and more.

3 days ago I went to my last doctor that I had lined up and he was absolutely garbage. Didn't help at all. After I left his office I said to myself "screw this bullshit, I'm going to take matters into my own hands, toughen up, and stop worrying about this bs". And believe it or not, I was in the middle of an anxiety attack when i said that in my mind and the anxiety immediately eased. I went home, and never ended up being tired that day.

3 days later I'm still going through my entire day without being tired. Which would be my first after 3-4 long months. This is not enough days to gauage anything yet, but if it continues then it may be a sign.

I am now quite convinced this is all mental / stress related. I am guessing first you have to stop worrying (and I know that can be so difficult with all those problems). You just need 1 good day that will convince you to keep a positive attitude/hope from that day on. And that's what happened for me a few days ago.

I have dark eye circles that I never used to have. I know I am not reaching deep sleep and my sleep is interrupted every few hours. And the ONLY theory that makes sense is stress. Being in front of a computer seems to be worse btw. Getting out helps big time.

Btw, just incase you are wondering, I did start taking the following lately:

-500mg Pantothenic acid (Vitamin B5) per day in the morning
-Magnesium Citrate 400mg before bed time
-Valerian Root 400mg before bed time

If you look up Chronic Fatigue. All these symptoms you mentioned are related to Chronic Fatigue. I actually never had depersonalition/derealization/depression, but I do have VERY bad sleep and was very very tired during the day. I do have brain fog as well and it gets worse after exercise. And that again is why I think it is all stress related because Chronic Fatigue means you should NOT exercise. Exercise = straining your entire system = stress. It's a big no-no so I'm surprised everyone here advocates exercising which I think is wrong and my body clearly says don't do it.

Chronic Fatigue means 500mg pantothenic acid in the AM to help yourself and no sugars / caffeine. Try it. Also, if it is Chronic Fatigue then you should order Dr Wilson's Adrenal Rebuilder. I actually ordered it but haven't tried it yet. It just came in but the last few days have been looking up so I'm minimizing any supplements/drugs for time being.

Finally, I did have Cortisol tests dont and my cortisol level was a flat 3.0 all day which is really low. That mean sChronic Fatigue. I reordered the test and I'm sure it will come in higher this time, I will know in a week or two.


PS
I'd also like to add that masturbation / even looking at porn makes it much worse for me. Abstain from it 100% for at least 1-2 weeks and let us know if tha thelps.

hmm, i kinda of agree. I do think it might be stress/anxiety related. But there has to have been a physical change as well.

Im surpised you didnt have DP. It usually comes with anxiety. How was you emotional response to thing you otherwise enjoyed. Music, Tv and all?

 

[ShytK]

I'm not sure if there is a physical change or not, but I do know worrying makes it worse so if I have an option I'm going to choose option B) not worrying. They say stress is a killer, and I used to laugh at that. Not quite anymore. And it's not like I have recovered fully and I know I have a long road but I think since it's been a few months I think the only thing that can save me now is myself. I suggest you try to cope the best with what you have, 1 day at a time.

Btw, to help with anxiety I found that letting it be and trying to laugh it off kind of helps a lot. Basically, don't fight it. There's not many people that have this issue forever, so whether it takes you 8 months or 5 years to recover, 5 years is still better than forever. I honestly think and hope it'll be much sooner but to be honest if I look back a few years I haven't done shit so I can wait a few years and then ofcourse I'll be all that smarter and wiser.

As far as emotional response. It was always quite normal/good. But listening to music used to create a tingling sensation in my head. This is less now than it was so it seems things are improving. I still get tingling sensations when looking at porn, thus I avoid it. If it ain't a real girl, it ain't going to do any good anyway. Also I know for a FACT that masturbation makes things worse. The first few weeks I used to continue with it and it would make me SUPER tired after it. Masturbation is a drug and depletes a lot of brain chemicals such as serotonin.

However, if you look up chronic fatigue symtoms, music, tv, and other forms of entertainment are part of the symtoms you described.

Chronic fatigue or not, I still think it is all related to stress / anxiety.

Btw, do you take 5htp supplements or not? I took one and it made my anxiety worse.

 

[pmz]

I'm not sure if there is a physical change or not, but I do know worrying makes it worse so if I have an option I'm going to choose option B) not worrying. They say stress is a killer, and I used to laugh at that. Not quite anymore. And it's not like I have recovered fully and I know I have a long road but I think since it's been a few months I think the only thing that can save me now is myself. I suggest you try to cope the best with what you have, 1 day at a time.

Btw, to help with anxiety I found that letting it be and trying to laugh it off kind of helps a lot. Basically, don't fight it. There's not many people that have this issue forever, so whether it takes you 8 months or 5 years to recover, 5 years is still better than forever. I honestly think and hope it'll be much sooner but to be honest if I look back a few years I haven't done shit so I can wait a few years and then ofcourse I'll be all that smarter and wiser.

As far as emotional response. It was always quite normal/good. But listening to music used to create a tingling sensation in my head. This is less now than it was so it seems things are improving. I still get tingling sensations when looking at porn, thus I avoid it. If it ain't a real girl, it ain't going to do any good anyway. Also I know for a FACT that masturbation makes things worse. The first few weeks I used to continue with it and it would make me SUPER tired after it. Masturbation is a drug and depletes a lot of brain chemicals such as serotonin.

However, if you look up chronic fatigue symtoms, music, tv, and other forms of entertainment are part of the symtoms you described.

Chronic fatigue or not, I still think it is all related to stress / anxiety.

Btw, do you take 5htp supplements or not? I took one and it made my anxiety worse.

no 5-htp. i stopped that a while ago, i take magnesium, b vitamins, ashwagandha and a few others

 

[angeleyes]

@ShytK to say masturbation is a drug is a little extreme, yes it does flood the brain with raging hormones but during the recovery phase of any adulterant I think a safe bet would be to conserve the energy and not get all funky with your monkey.


@PMZ a gram of MDMA? Is like 5 times what someone should do in one night, unfortunately could be classified as an overdose even if you weren't smacking out in the gutter.

I understand what you mean by 'depersonalize' because I went through that anxiety hell at work during my recovery time. It wasn't good and it doesn't feel like it will get any better. GOOD NEWS IT DOES.

Get this:

- Lots of exercise
- Lots of good food
- Lots of laughs/STAY POSITIVE <--------- MOST IMPORTANT THING

And you will be your old self again guaranteed It doesn't happen overnight, but you do get there in the end.

 

[pmz]

@ShytK to say masturbation is a drug is a little extreme, yes it does flood the brain with raging hormones but during the recovery phase of any adulterant I think a safe bet would be to conserve the energy and not get all funky with your monkey.


@PMZ a gram of MDMA? Is like 5 times what someone should do in one night, unfortunately could be classified as an overdose even if you weren't smacking out in the gutter.

I understand what you mean by 'depersonalize' because I went through that anxiety hell at work during my recovery time. It wasn't good and it doesn't feel like it will get any better. GOOD NEWS IT DOES.

Get this:

- Lots of exercise
- Lots of good food
- Lots of laughs/STAY POSITIVE <--------- MOST IMPORTANT THING

And you will be your old self again guaranteed It doesn't happen overnight, but you do get there in the end.

Sweet. That's what I've been doing. Running a lot. Eating almost vegetarian. I'm finally going out again. Shit. For a while the anxiety was so bad I was even freaked out to go out. I just came back from a club. My favorite club actually. I had a good night but the music just didn't sound right to me. I just could not find myself getting excited from the music nearly as much as I would like to. I was dancing the whole night and having fun but still felt a little detached. I'm def still going through some DP. I think the worst is finally over though. It's so weird seeing the little improvements in how I feel as the days and weeks go by. I just hate this detached feeling still. It is what it is for now. At least the anxiety and mental fog is almost gone

 

[angeleyes]

I feel the exact same!!! I'm in the music capital of my country and since my month of hell all I want to do is move away interstate.

@ My favorite club; you're exactly right; the vibe is gone, the spark is no longer there and all the bad sides out of it come. Social anxiety now debilitates me and I can't head out anymore hahaha, but it is getting better. Ahhhhh I just can't express enough I know how depressing and shit it is.