Opioids Ex Addict now has to take opiates for Pain

[fallenangel3]

Greetings Everyone,

I have been on this site for maybe a week. Nice to have a current thread too.
Anyway I was a addict for more than 20+ years. Got clean for several years, and began to have chonic pain, they found servere arthritis in my spine, 3 bulging disc and Hep C so my joints always hurt. I wear a Fentanyl patch and get oxy's for breakthrough pain. I try to keep it together an never mess with my patches. But I do snort my oxy's, to be honest like the euphoria, but I rather snort them then have them sit in my stomach as it takes forever even with IMR.

Does anyone else deal with this after being a full blown addict. If I did not have my pain meds I couldn't deal with the pain and I'm pretty tough, I'd either get desperate for relief, and there is 0 zero none ziltch good heroin here. Everyone does pills anyway. Or I would just end it as the pain is to much

Its kinda ironic that now I have to have these opiates. I am not complaining, I don't even feel the Fent patch, but I feel the oxys for sure. Also because of my Hep C I'm trying to take the best care I can. Ok well I hope there is someone that shares my delema? Is it a delema, Now I can get anything I want at my pain clinic but am really trying to maintain my pain with my love for feeling good on opiates.
Peace hope I find some folks, it seems I shouldn't have a problem.

 

[Maya]

Hi OP sorry that you are struggling with pain atm, but Healthy Living does not allow drug discussion so I am going to move this to OD. Hope you find more replies there

 

[belfort]

wait, you were an addict that got clean but now snorts his/her oxys to get faster relief/no offense but you are still in active addiction and are kind of lying to yourself..u rather snort then let them sit in your stomach, sorry but its all junkie talk...any addict in recovery would say the same..u are getting high daily off the oxys, im not sure what you are asking here?

 

[belfort]

"it seems i shouldn't have a problem"

hmmm

 

[Crazyeighths]

This seems like a disaster waiting to happen. No offense, OP, but what has changed so much between now and when you were an addict (just for a sec ill pretend like you're not still an addict) that you think you can snort oxys daily, while getting euphoria, and not end up right back where you were?

 

[bennyZA]

I know where you're coming from. I am a serious chronic pain patient and a 'former' addict. The best tip I can give to you is to just ditch the oxy and deal with the breakthrough pain. I had to do that. I got some breakthrough meds while on fent and the first thing I did was abuse the shit out of them. I had to dump them cause I knew what was about to happen. With the fent patch alone I never really got the urge to start using dope again.

Another thing you want to keep in mind is what happens when it runs out and go through withdrawals? You are going to be in serious pain again. That was the fucked up part about abusing the breakthrough meds. I'd run out and then try to use my fent patches on my gums to get quicker relief. I ended up running out early so my pain was unbearable.

Another thing you could do is give the oxy to a spouse or relative or whatever and have them hold on to them and watch you swallow them.

 

[RTrain]

wait, you were an addict that got clean but now snorts his/her oxys to get faster relief/no offense but you are still in active addiction and are kind of lying to yourself..u rather snort then let them sit in your stomach, sorry but its all junkie talk...any addict in recovery would say the same..u are getting high daily off the oxys, im not sure what you are asking here?

It seems he is asking for advice from someone in the same boat or more-so who was in the same boat as him. I think the thing is the only answers are ones he won't want to hear. I can't speak from experience in the matter, but it seems you can either take the painkillers and deal with the physical dependence and addiction or you stop and try to stay clean from opiates and deal with the pain. Or as is said above ^, find an in between ground between addiction and pain management, a balance that works for you.

 

[Crazyeighths]

Another thing you could do is give the oxy to a spouse or relative or whatever and have them hold on to them and watch you swallow them.

This is pretty much your best option if you're set on keeping breakthrough meds without falling back into abuse/addiction.

 

[bennyZA]

This is pretty much your best option if you're set on keeping breakthrough meds without falling back into abuse/addiction.

There is one real problem with this though that's hard to understand if you've never had to do this before. If someone strictly controls you dose, you start going back to old addict ways. You start to resent the person monitoring your dose. You start hiding them in your cheek and then stash them. This is kinda hard to deal with, though it's probably the best idea either way.

To the OP, what happens when your oxy tolerance shoots up?

 

[Cane2theLeft]

You don't feel the fentanyl mostly because it's steady in your bloodstream if you use your patches appropriately. The reason you 'feel' the oxy more is because you can quickly feel the transition to before it's effects to after. The reason most addicts evolve from taking drugs orally to routes with quicker onset is because the faster the onset, the more pronounced the effects. There is a reason they don't prescribe opioids intranasally for breakthrough pain or give patients vials of dilaudid and rigs to take home - all physicians have to strike a balance with pain management between ensuring people aren't in agonizing pain and not exacerbating their condition by giving them the tools and permission to become junkies. This is even more important in populations with previous histories of addiction.

I studied addiction counseling and have years of training/education in addiction, psychology and basic psychopharmacology. I have nerve damage that causes chronic pain that I formerly used opioids to treat for years and perhaps most relevant, I have been around this site and interacted with *hundreds* of chronic pain patients who misuse their medication and addicts with chronic pain issues.

If you were an addict and got clean then you know what rationalization is. You know how easy it is to lie to yourself and how your addict brain will tell you "it just makes more sense to snort them" but when that jacks your tolerance up to the point where what they're willing to Rx won't touch your pain and you're stuck with a huge habit AND intractable pain, what's your plan? I hope you aren't sitting there saying, "that won't happen. I know what I'm doing". I've seen this over and over and over.

You have a choice, you can treat your medicine like medicine or you can put it up your nose. If you can't do the former on your own, get some help. It's nearly impossible for someone with a history of addiction suffering from pain to have a cache of the most euphoric drugs available at your disposal and not keep trying to 'feel' them. When pain is properly managed, you don't 'feel' your pain medication. Your pain is kept in check to a level where you can function. It's not eliminated completely and you aren't high.

There's a reason you started this thread, you know you don't want to go down this path. What are you going to do about it? How bad are you willing to let it get before you do that?

 

[belfort]

"without falling back into abuse/addiction"

wtf the OP already has fallen back into full blown addiction..snorting oxys isnt for pain relief, its to get high, plain and simple, u can try and justify it all you want..ive had chronic pain in the past amnd still do but i didnt mince words about it, when i snorted oxys it was to catch a buzz..pain management was secondary..

 

[Psychedelic Jay]

Once an addict, always an addict...

You just got a legitimate source of drugs now.

Congrats on the american dream.

 

[MrsMorphine]

I can somewhat relate to what fallenangel3 is saying, as today my pain specialist upped my dosage of fentanyl patches and cut back on the BT medication. He says that if I'm receiving adequate relief on a constant basis, I shouldn't be having breakthrough pain, or not nearly as often.

This makes perfect sense, but I admit I was hiding my fear of not having meds handy when I wake up at four a.m. in searing pain. However, I'm not going to ask my husband or anyone else to dole out my pills. Chronic pain is my curse, my responsibility, and not being able to halt it is my greatest fear.

 

[bukweat]

I think all of us that have abused and became addicted and also have chronic pain issues are in a fix(lol). We know the difference between active addiction and medical dependence. Yet, much like Angel, the need to feel the drug overwhelms better judgment. What MsMorphine said makes good sense.

 

[Galaxies]

If you truly want to be clean then i would try to taper off them, and maybe try some other way to rid your back of pain, but on the other hand if you think that oxys will help your pain and not just feed a growing addiction that might be revealing itself again then that should be fine.

I would just try to be moderate or find another solution.

 

[MrsMorphine]

I think all of us that have abused and became addicted and also have chronic pain issues are in a fix(lol). We know the difference between active addiction and medical dependence. Yet, much like Angel, the need to feel the drug overwhelms better judgment. What MsMorphine said makes good sense.

Thank you for understanding. I was afraid of sounding like a weenie. Otherwise well-regarded doctors have, back in the day, called me disdainfully "an addict," when I've said "medically dependent."

 

[bukweat]

That never crossed my mind MrsM. Yeah doctors like to be right or have the last word. I met w/my suboxone dr. yesterday and we talked for 25 minutes about where I was in my addiction. He's really a decent person. Never rushes through my appt. time and he's taken the time to educate himself. He is an addiction specialist and I am very fortunate to be a patient/client. I've been seeing him for 25 months and haven't used opiates in that time.
For the op Angel, don't look at this as a total fail. You're aware that this behavior isn't where you should be in your pain management.

 

[tricomb]

Haven't read any posts yet, but @OP, I'm also an addict who sold his soul IV opioid narcotics and you name it, I shot it (within reason, I'm not a dumbass) prior to becoming a chronic pain patient and now I need them to function. Funny how the table turns... Not funny at all really, it's ruined my life. I don't mean to compare pain, but I must say that being an addict and a CPP has been the source of my most major depression and attempts on my life.

I cannot function without opiates, and the title of your thread brought involuntary tears to my eyes, I have always known that I wasn't alone in this, but this is the first time I've ever came across a thread like this that hit so close to home...


I'm getting a pain flare right now, I gotta take care of myself but I guarantee you man I'll be back to review this thread. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I will be back to this thread, I haven't read a single response to it just your opening post.

You are not alone.

 

[.:Holy::Toast:.]

If you can't take your pain meds without snorting them then you are an addict and are using them to get high.
When you use pain meds regularly you shouldn't even get any euphoria, they aren't meant to make you feel good, they are meant to dull pain, the euphoria is just a side effect in high enough doses.
But you however are snorting them because you like the euphoria, that's the addict in you talking.
You're playing with fire OP, only a short matter of time before you go up in flames

 

[Psychedelic Jay]

If you can't take your pain meds without snorting them then you are an addict and are using them to get high.
When you use pain meds regularly you shouldn't even get any euphoria, they aren't meant to make you feel good, they are meant to dull pain, the euphoria is just a side effect in high enough doses.
But you however are snorting them because you like the euphoria, that's the addict in you talking.
You're playing with fire OP, only a short matter of time before you go up in flames

I strictly do not agree with this...

Euphoria from opiates always entails the pain-killing...

If you are not getting the least bit drowsy from effective doses, you are not dosing high enough.

There are more than just physical aspects of pain... Mental pain exist too... Opiates kill that through euphoria...

Opiate regulate more than just pain...

They are going to slam him with a higher dose until they feel they are uncomfortable prescribing him anything higher... <That is what I can't fucking stand about pain management.