Without having read the whole thread, can I just point that the question "Why am I not getting addicted, am I different?" (sorry to paraphrase it like that) sends all kinds of alarm bells ringing. For most of the people I know, that's exactly how and where it starts. Reread a lot of posts here on Bluelight by people who said just that and look where they end up some months later. I'm not trying to judge here, but doing coke IV a few days a week and especially out of boredom is a pretty bad idea... Because, you know, pretty soon everything might just become boring with it. And at any rate, someone else already pointed that "I used to be the exception until I wasn't it." That about sums it up.
Good luck dude, and don't try to overanalyze it. It's also an escape route for you to rationalize your behaviour.
Well, I am fairly sure everyone who starts using coke (besides those immediately addicted) would say "I am not addicted," so I don't see the alarm bells, since obviously everyone who has done coke is not addicted.
On the subject of doing it out of boredom, its really the only time I use drugs is when I am bored, not really a social drug user. Ya, the "used to be the exception til I wan't" thing scares me thought. Thanks for your post!
Moving this Homeless --> OD
Thanks!
Alright! Finally discovered the "multiquote" feature... here I go with the replies. Thanks for your responses, I appreciate it!
this is what's going to happen. something real bad is going to happen in your life, something you never imagined, the way bad shit happens in everyone's life, the minute it happens you will turn to the coke for relief, because nothing will give you more relief than the coke, this is where it will take over your life and you will not be able to tame the tiger, no one is ever able to. you are no special case; kings and the greatest of warrior have crumbled in front of it, you are not an exception.
My life is currently in that situation. I have depression, bi polar, PTSD, and have been dealing with suicide . So ya, I know things may get shitty and I know it may effect all of it, but currently I just feel so terrible I couldn't care if I died or not. I did turn to coke during all of this, and it is not what I hopped for. I hopped it would alleviate my conditions, even kind of 'hoped' I would get addicted, so then I would have a reason to live, for the addiction, since my current reasons to live are not cutting it. But I've been disappointed with the drug thus far. I know addiction is possible, but I'd rather have ups and downs rather than just downs, as my last 5 years have been. Though sadly, the drug wasn't as powerful as I had hoped (or maybe thats a good thing). I digress. Anyway thank you for your post.
Addiction isn't something that just happens overnight.. it doesn't just pop into existence. It's a progression...
If you think you can IV coke and not become addicted or are already not addicted, you're deluding yourself.
You're trying so hard to prove to yourself and to us you're not addicted... but if you weren't you wouldn't bother, you'd just go on using every once in a while.. not make this post.
IV cocaine especially, is one of the most, if not the most addicting thing on earth... it puts the addiction associated with heroin to shame.
So, buckle up.. because if you keep doing this, despite you justifying it and saying "you're only going to shoot coke once in a while" (which by the way, is basically an oxymoron) you're in for a really fucked up and miserable ride.
I agree with your point on progression, but I disagree with your statement that one cannot IV coke and not be already addicted after doing so. Using reductionism, one can get .00001mg of cocaine in their system once or twice, and nobody would say they are addicted. Same with 1mg of cocaine. Yes, there is a line when the person is addicted, but I don't agree that "If you think you can IV coke and not become addicted or are already not addicted, you're 'wrong.'" However, I am not arguing that I am not addicted. I don't think I am. but one can never have veridical knowledge of the sort we are talking about, we can only believe what we believe, never truly having knowledge. I don't think I am trying to prove I am not an addict. I don't think I am an addict, so I wanted to ask about addiction, see the signs and the road others have traveled to see what to look out for. I am impartial to being addicted or not, in a sick way that I have previously explained, I kind of want to be addicted so I can have a reason to live. I know this isn't healthy, but I am just being honest, I have no reason to lie to myself or any of you.
I give OP 7/10. All the logic and philosophy in the world cannot keep even the most brilliant minds from succumbing to addiction. Many great men have uttered the famous last words of exemption before losing their empire.
As a previous poster eloquently put it - you're the exception until you're not.
Very true, intellect doesn't guarantee safety from an addiction. Thanks for you post.
It sounds to me like you are an addict. As mr.scagnattie and others pointed out, it's a progressive disease, and people don't start off by shooting it everyday.
I would say that anybody that goes from sniffing a drug to shooting it is an addict (though plenty of snorters are addicts as well). Shooting coke and playing video games alone in your room = addict.
I didn't "goe from sniffing a drug to shooting it." I sniffed it a couple times and did not get the desired effect, so I IV'd it. It wasn't as if I loved sniffing it so much I wanted to take the next step. And I don't agree that anyone who "shoots cocke and plays video games alone" is an addict. I don't use drugs in social situations as I stated. I just use drugs every once and a while when I am bored and the occasion strikes me at an appropriate time. If what you said about being alone, videogames, and coke was true, then the first time I IV'd, I would have automatically been an addict, even though I only IV'd 10mg the first time.
Shooting coke alone in your room with the money you got from pawning your video games= addict just a few shots down the road.
Edit: I was just thinking that I dont think recreational drug users would inject an unsanitary concoction, made from a mix of unknown chemicals, that was purchased on the street, directly into their blood stream.. Just my humble opinion.
As I said, I am not a real "party person," or a "social user," and I use sparingly by myself like I always have with anything.
My thoughts on, "Inject an unsanitary concoction... off the street... etc": I purchased off of SR from a reputable vendor and tested for purity. I was satisfied with what others said and the test to not fear injection. I may use drugs but I am no imbecile.
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Again, even if I didn't get around to quoting your post or directly thanking you, thank you, I appreciate you putting time into your posts and you help, I really do appreciate it and, again, thank you.
