When I was about 22 yrs old, I landed a good job and felt like celebrating. I really wanted to go all-out and try something new, so I had a friend of mine get me some heroin. I'd never done or even seen H before, and was very curious. I was by myself and didn't bother to ask anyone how to do it. I just figured i would smoke it. (Stupid, I know). Anyway I made something like a crack pipe and began smoking (with some difficulty). Didn't take long for me to realize that I wasn't getting much of a buzz at all. NOW THIS IS WHERE THINGS GO REALLY BAD. Unsatisfied, I decided to just go with my old reliable-LSD. Less than an hour after smoking about a half gram of H, I dosed some very strong micro-dot. The first hour or so (after the LSD kicked in, I experienced a high so incredible I can't begin to describe it. Everything was awesome until, all of the sudden, and I mean in less than one second, my brain went ballistc! The best way I can describe it is like everything going black about every 10 seconds, massive spinning in my head, severe pain, feeling like I'm loosing control of everything, like I was going completely insane, severe panic, tunnel vision with scary visual and auditory hallucinations, just to name a few of the things I was experiencing that I can attempt to put into words. It was like being trapped in a horrifying nightmare from which I may never awake. I was sure I was going to die, and in fact it was so bad I was hoping I would soon. After about 8 hours I started to come down a little and began to think I could make it through this. After a few days I was done with the worst of it, but still having random periods where everything went black and my head would start spinning and could feel myself slipping into the insanity nightmare again. I had to really concentrate constantly on keeping myself together. I was no longer able to smoke pot or do anything like this because it would trigger all of the symptoms.
Although these symptoms got better over the next year, I never recovered from the worst of this for almost two years. They were the worst two years of my
life. I suffered from severe 'wavy like' visuals constantly, to the point that I had trouble keeping my balance and it was almost impossible to focus on objects. I had SEVERE depression and constant panic attacks. I could't concentrate on anything. My memory was all but gone. I was useless.
I thought I would never recover and was ready to die.
Its been about 18 years since these events, and although I still suffer from clinical depression and panic disorder, the worst of this is over, and I've learned to live a decent life. This event changed the way I look at life. All the things I once took for granted I no longer do. I used to have a care-free attitude about using and mixing drugs. I have paid dearly because of this attitude.
I hope this post will serve as a big warning to those who have that same
Attitude as I did
