brimz
Bluelighter
Yeah that looks nasty CCf get on it girl , best of luck 
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EADD Heroin Discussion V18 - Wax on-Wax off-Beetle-down-Beetle up (Hiyer zaramorph)
- Thread starter monstanoodle
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Cornishman
Bluelighter
Yeah sounds good man.
I just tried that bit & it was proper nice.
Only hit 150mgs and MrsCorn thought I was gonna go over.
Also got pins n needles & itches akin to shooting half a gramme+ of regular gear.
Lucky I didn't do a normal sized shot.
Fuckin' hell Miss Funk.
Hope you get that sorted ASAP.
Pagey
Bluelight Crew
Fuck CCF, I hope everything goes alright, good luck!
pinkpapaver
Bluelighter
how did cherry get on Brimz? these things are scary.
fuck. I need to stay out of this thread. just organised myself a lil bag for now.
ohyeah, and the original thread creator had a bad miss once upon a time. the poster who shall not be named.
fuck. I need to stay out of this thread. just organised myself a lil bag for now.
ohyeah, and the original thread creator had a bad miss once upon a time. the poster who shall not be named.
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kkattastic
Bluelighter
think most of us have had a bad miss at some point-especially us girls
just depends whether your body accepts it and reabsorbs it or says 'hell,no' and rejects it in a sore,red/purple/black,ugly way-
I have a bit of a thing for puss filled boils and infected cysts-I know I am not the only one-I visit http://www.popthatzit.com/ on a regular basis.but when it's your own limb in trouble,you really need to err on the side of caution.It just aint so funny when you have to face life as an amputee(and that aint no autocorrect)
monstanoodle
Bluelight Crew
Yeah Brimz and anyone else who knows of Cherry's condition and health - PLEASE let us know how she's doing, but:
Only if she's actually alright with others speaking to others about how she's doing. Because I'm sure I can speak for all of us when I say that we really, really care about her (you, Cherry, if you're reading this)
Only if she's actually alright with others speaking to others about how she's doing. Because I'm sure I can speak for all of us when I say that we really, really care about her (you, Cherry, if you're reading this)
matt<3ketamine
Bluelighter
Beautiful pale peach/grey kit about that I have been shown, looked like it would be good and was said to be the highest of recent from a user
gannetsarewe
Bluelighter
Yeah will do man I gotta go for that other reason I told you anyway ya if ya remember?.. I'll bring ya'll to dinner if you know a good restaurant
,.. and course no booze but talk later when I have better cashflow
.. on another note been having withdrawals for the last few hours, a nice girl just dropped me up 0.25 that knew I was in a state
I know you are not too far from me and that you are keen to maintain privacy, but out of interest if you were a football man would you be Rovers or Harps, I am in Sligo so I am obviously the former.
kkattastic
Bluelighter
been 4 days since I used
past the suicidal part-that goes real quick now i don't have a full time habit
I am happy on my MST and I have enough to keep me going for a while
on the other hand,there are things I really want to do for no particular reason other than they are on some kinda bucket list
I want to stab a police in the neck
both my contacts(I keep them few these days)phones are off which is better for me but unsettling
would actually kinda like to go back to prison
people there actually do care about me-may be cos they are being paid to do so but it's still caring.
was going to get myself admitted to hospital but I am on license until 2014 and it is so hard for me to get somewhere to live,of my own.I have had enough of being at my folks and as grateful as I am(and I really AM),I know they want their privacy/independence back too.Suppose here they know I am ok whereas in prison they will know i am self-harming and there is every chance i could jump on the bus
Life outside is so difficult-nothing is ever easy-they purposely make it as hard as possible to get what you need to live-and I don't nec mean benefits-I would love a job but that aint gonna happen with how things are right now.In the meantime,I am 41 and living with my poor parents who don't deserve this-constant worry-never knowing when they will get that knock at the door.
Only thing that keeps me together is gear-can't even get that right now-luckily can manage quite well on MSTs but I know it won't be long before my brain screeches to a halt and says that I should score or get the fuck off the pot.
past the suicidal part-that goes real quick now i don't have a full time habit
I am happy on my MST and I have enough to keep me going for a while
on the other hand,there are things I really want to do for no particular reason other than they are on some kinda bucket list
I want to stab a police in the neck
both my contacts(I keep them few these days)phones are off which is better for me but unsettling
would actually kinda like to go back to prison
people there actually do care about me-may be cos they are being paid to do so but it's still caring.
was going to get myself admitted to hospital but I am on license until 2014 and it is so hard for me to get somewhere to live,of my own.I have had enough of being at my folks and as grateful as I am(and I really AM),I know they want their privacy/independence back too.Suppose here they know I am ok whereas in prison they will know i am self-harming and there is every chance i could jump on the bus
Life outside is so difficult-nothing is ever easy-they purposely make it as hard as possible to get what you need to live-and I don't nec mean benefits-I would love a job but that aint gonna happen with how things are right now.In the meantime,I am 41 and living with my poor parents who don't deserve this-constant worry-never knowing when they will get that knock at the door.
Only thing that keeps me together is gear-can't even get that right now-luckily can manage quite well on MSTs but I know it won't be long before my brain screeches to a halt and says that I should score or get the fuck off the pot.
Pagey
Bluelight Crew
You're right, it is difficult, but the gear only emphasises that. Not having gear to worry about really makes it possible to address other issues one at a time and really see simple solutions to things that would seem insurmountable on smack. And even if there is no simple solution, it'll still be a billion times easier to deal with without smack. Glad to hear you're doing well on MST, I hope things improve for you soon - stay strong
Pretty sure today is 3 months since I decided to quit...3 relapses since but could be much worse. And PAWS are finally starting to clear up a little which is nothing short of heavenly 8(
pinkpapaver
Bluelighter
it is nice when the methadon just eases off the headaches twitching nsneezes. I hate the stuff to be fair, but needs must. 15ml a day script i think I take bout 10 ml if i can cope with it. ha ha ha they wanted me out of treatment, i've just done it my way, after all, it can be good currency for a bag o brown :D
cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
FINALLY HAD IT DONE TODAY!
After waiting all day yesterday, having an ultrasound to see how much fluid was in there (4 centimetres!) being told to get changed at 5pm, something went wrong in the theatre I was due to, and they had to cancel and send me home telling me to come back today.
Came back at 7am this morning and was on the operating table by 9.30am. I can't feel it at the moment, as I'm full of IV Fentynl and other lovely stuff, but it's such a relief. Another lesson learnt!
Took me a while to come around from anesthetic, and I'm just sat with my laptop for my boyfriend to turn up as I'm not allowed to leave without an escort. He should be here soon.
Hopefully, this will be the last drug related operation or hospital stay/visit. 4 in less than 2 years is getting silly.
Oh, and I got told I've got a job today, working with my BF team who's a chippys laborer. I'll be cleaning one of the most expensive hotels in a nearby city, they've just had one part renovated, and the rooms need cleaning of all the plaster dust etc. Perfrect chance to celebrity spot, and a brillint incentive to sort myself out.
After waiting all day yesterday, having an ultrasound to see how much fluid was in there (4 centimetres!) being told to get changed at 5pm, something went wrong in the theatre I was due to, and they had to cancel and send me home telling me to come back today.
Came back at 7am this morning and was on the operating table by 9.30am. I can't feel it at the moment, as I'm full of IV Fentynl and other lovely stuff, but it's such a relief. Another lesson learnt!
Took me a while to come around from anesthetic, and I'm just sat with my laptop for my boyfriend to turn up as I'm not allowed to leave without an escort. He should be here soon.
Hopefully, this will be the last drug related operation or hospital stay/visit. 4 in less than 2 years is getting silly.
Oh, and I got told I've got a job today, working with my BF team who's a chippys laborer. I'll be cleaning one of the most expensive hotels in a nearby city, they've just had one part renovated, and the rooms need cleaning of all the plaster dust etc. Perfrect chance to celebrity spot, and a brillint incentive to sort myself out.
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cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
Yeah Brimz and anyone else who knows of Cherry's condition and health - PLEASE let us know how she's doing, but:
Only if she's actually alright with others speaking to others about how she's doing. Because I'm sure I can speak for all of us when I say that we really, really care about her (you, Cherry, if you're reading this)
Thank you for your concern, both of you
One of the hardest parts in all of this, is doing it on my own! I know my boyfriend would have been with me if he could, but I didn't want him to miss out on a days pay, and he's only just started working so I don't want him to give a bad impression to the foreman. All is okay though. He'll be here soon.
I started to cry in after they'd slid me onto the operating table, as I panicked. So, they gave me an IV sedative to help me breathe in the oxygen as I wasn't getting enough.
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Got paid yesterday, and picked p my methadone script. A usual Friday has me buying a few bags, up to 500mls of extra methadone, and my script too. So bad all I could afford was one bag. A bad few weeks lucks ahead, on the plus side my tolerance will have reduced dramatically by then, if things keep at this minimum.
The bag was a good size .28, but the gear was just ok, I would have liked another bag on the spoon, but I have to make do for the moment.
The bag was a good size .28, but the gear was just ok, I would have liked another bag on the spoon, but I have to make do for the moment.
kkattastic
Bluelighter
Thank you for your concern, both of you
One of the hardest parts in all of this, is doing it on my own! I know my boyfriend would have been with me if he could, but I didn't want him to miss out on a days pay, and he's only just started working so I don't want him to give a bad impression to the foreman. All is okay though. He'll be here soon.
I started to cry in after they'd slid me onto the operating table, as I panicked. So, they gave me an IV sedative to help me breathe in the oxygen as I wasn't getting enough.
great that they have treated it!I expect you had IV midazolam(commonly used for sedation during minor ops-i have it at the dentist and you are conscious but you remember nothing the next day
Are you all ok now?Or are they going to keep you there while you have a few drips?or maybe even(I do hope not)cut the dead flesh from the wound on a daily basis and a dressing that sucks out the puss and just like pampers,keeps it away from your skin(same technology)so no poison can be reabsorbed.
Has your partner been?maybe redundant questions as if they aren't keeping you on antibiotic drips,they would let you go home as soon as your partner can take responsibility for your safety-believe me,this is with good reason cos those sedatives they give you can make you do some crazy shit and you have no idea about it afterwards-so an escort home is a MUST.
How do you feel now about injecting.Personally,the day I left hospital(about 2 weeks after I went in),I vowed that I would never inject anything unless it was made for that purpose.Having seen the vein and bone inside my arm(a little less 'inside' than it previously was),could have made me more confident as an IV user.I know others who have gone on to lose limbs in that way.I think I made the right choice and I have never injected since,though you notice my vow comes with an exception.
Please tell me you are not injecting into the left arm while the right takes a well deserved vacation!!!!!PLEASE??!!
cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
I'm okay and home now yeah, just in a lot of pain. My right arm is pretty redundant, and is bandaged up from my wrist to my elbow. I've not been daft enough to take the roll of bandage off to have a look at the packed hole. I can see some bruising that has spread up from the wound up to my inner elbow. The incision and where they've been digging around in it seems to hurt more than the abscess! I'm in a lot of pain, have resorted to keeping it in a sling, as even every step I take makes it hurt, and also as it's my right arm, it's natural to use it, so the sling stops me.
I have go back to my docs in no less than 72 hours to have it repacked with this special stuff they've given me, Urgosorb.
They wouldn't let me out until my Boyfriend was there to hear my discharge rules. One of the first things he said to me when we got off the ward was, 'Girl,you're not using straight away, you're still high as a kite.' I wasn't I'd started to come down then as the pain in my arm was coming through. He was just being concerned, as I'd been put to sleep, had a sedative, and Fentynl. He let me share one and one with him, then after we went for our usual Friday night carvery, we had a session.
I'm on anti biotics again now too, co-amoxiclav 625mg, mixture of two strong ones. The surgeon said they got quite a lot of fluid out, and cut away some nasty flesh, dug around a bit and flushed out the infection. There is NO way I'm going to slack on the packing like I did the one on my hip (which has now left a massive gouge out of it) I don't want a massive visible hole in my arm to have to explain. I'm gonna keep on top of it, plus it'll be more prone to reinfection being where it is, more chance of catching dirt. My hip was always covered with clothing.
Yep, you're right, I'm being sensible and staying well away from my right arm. Though, my left has taken such a battering that it's just luck of the draw if I get a vein or not. We even managed to get my neck last night. I know I'm stupid for still using, but that's an addict for you. It's even harder when you're in a relationship with another addict.
It's been really hard to get a hold of Brown past few days, all our usual folk are out, or refusing to do 6 for a certain amount, as they're keeping a close eye on how much they've got. Just waiting for the boy to come back with 3 of each. I will sort myself out though, I feel like I've been saying that for ever. I'm not as bad as I used to be, and that is enough for me at the moment.
Thank you for your concern, and advice kkattastic
kkattastic
Bluelighter
I'm okay and home now yeah, just in a lot of pain. My right arm is pretty redundant, and is bandaged up from my wrist to my elbow. I've not been daft enough to take the roll of bandage off to have a look at the packed hole. I can see some bruising that has spread up from the wound up to my inner elbow. The incision and where they've been digging around in it seems to hurt more than the abscess! I'm in a lot of pain, have resorted to keeping it in a sling, as even every step I take makes it hurt, and also as it's my right arm, it's natural to use it, so the sling stops me.
I have go back to my docs in no less than 72 hours to have it repacked with this special stuff they've given me, Urgosorb.
They wouldn't let me out until my Boyfriend was there to hear my discharge rules. One of the first things he said to me when we got off the ward was, 'Girl,you're not using straight away, you're still high as a kite.' I wasn't I'd started to come down then as the pain in my arm was coming through. He was just being concerned, as I'd been put to sleep, had a sedative, and Fentynl. He let me share one and one with him, then after we went for our usual Friday night carvery, we had a session.
I'm on anti biotics again now too, co-amoxiclav 625mg, mixture of two strong ones. The surgeon said they got quite a lot of fluid out, and cut away some nasty flesh, dug around a bit and flushed out the infection. There is NO way I'm going to slack on the packing like I did the one on my hip (which has now left a massive gouge out of it) I don't want a massive visible hole in my arm to have to explain. I'm gonna keep on top of it, plus it'll be more prone to reinfection being where it is, more chance of catching dirt. My hip was always covered with clothing.
Yep, you're right, I'm being sensible and staying well away from my right arm. Though, my left has taken such a battering that it's just luck of the draw if I get a vein or not. We even managed to get my neck last night. I know I'm stupid for still using, but that's an addict for you. It's even harder when you're in a relationship with another addict.
It's been really hard to get a hold of Brown past few days, all our usual folk are out, or refusing to do 6 for a certain amount, as they're keeping a close eye on how much they've got. Just waiting for the boy to come back with 3 of each. I will sort myself out though, I feel like I've been saying that for ever. I'm not as bad as I used to be, and that is enough for me at the moment.
Thank you for your concern, and advice kkattastic
Can't believe you are still using IV!!What will it take?I have seen friends do this again and again until they are dead.I asked before because seeing the vein inside the wound.I could easily have removed the bandages and injected straight into that big vein.
If it hurts,that is good-it's the bits that don't hurt that you need to worry about cos that is dead and not coming back.So,listen to your body.It is telling you what you need to know.yeah-the Urgosorb or whatever is called is like the nappy thing-absorbs puss so it can't get back into your body-but it can only do so much.you need to do your bit too.
Sorry if I'm just being really nasty and hard but I have a mate with one arm and an associate with one leg and another mate that died from repeatedly doing this.I cannot let you do this and say nothing and then always think-"If I had said more"-it is So easily done-I only even went to the hospital cos we were pissed and my mate jumped on me and then the wound went black as it was released from the sac.But for that I would not have been able to hold my kids(toddlers at the time),not been able to clap when seeing a great act,not have been able to carry home my shopping and most of all,not been able to hold my head high when walking around in public knowing that anyone who knows,knows what I am and how stupid I was/how little I thought of myself/valued my body and I was early 20s at the time.now I am over 40,it's even harder to imagine.It has healed remarkably well and only those I choose to tell know.It could have been so different.Please CCF,take a moment to think about all the things you will miss if you lose an arm.dying from blood poisoning-eventually meningitis as it reaches the brain-it's a horrible death and people will miss you and wish they had not stopped you-the gear isn't even that great that is it?if it was worth it,i might understand but this is not worth the payout-just take some time until the scene picks up at least.Us girls have this extra layer of fat to keep our babies warm but that also make finding a good vein really hard.When I go to hospital and have IV sedation,they have to send me to anaesthetists cos all the docs think they can do it but none of them can.So we have to stick together cos it's twice as hard for is to get that hit-just take your time,try not to get frustrated and only go in if you know there is a good vein there-they have to be there or your hands would fall off-get someone to check back of your knees-even go in a hot bath-use indelible pens to mark where you felt one-anything but pls be more careful-maybe one day you will get the chance to hold a grandchild(or niece/similar) and you can't cos you couldn't just be careful-you got frustrated cos you'd been looking for half an hour-do whatever you have to do-they are there and you can find them with time and patience-if it blocks,don't risk it,snap it off and go anal(nasty but it's not wasted and is second best ROA)-won't wind up losing your ass hole.sister-just love yourself a lil bit.xxx
cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
I know you're right. I'm not stupid, but may seem it for using again and going back to IV. I've had a few last use ups before giving up yeah.
I'm shot to bits, my boyfriend spent over an hour last night trying to get half of 3 and 3 into me. Every single vein in my body is done. Backs of knees, groin, feet, ancles, legs, hands, left arm, every where you can think there might be somewhere to use has been tried. (I've not taken the bandage off my wound and don't intend to until I go to get it repacked and redressed) we even ended up having an argument, him saying 'this is ridiculous, I'm just abscess territory, and if I want to use IV, I cannot use a pin in front of him' and he's refusing to help me find anymore veins. Trying to find a vein, is just frustrating. We found a good one that gives on the back of my knee (they usually don't play) but within 3 hours it had decided to give up.
I know and hear what you're saying. Trust me, the end is here. I'm tapering, and stopping. And, most importantly, I'm going to start LIVING :D
Thank you for your care and concern, I know it's coming from the right place.
I'm shot to bits, my boyfriend spent over an hour last night trying to get half of 3 and 3 into me. Every single vein in my body is done. Backs of knees, groin, feet, ancles, legs, hands, left arm, every where you can think there might be somewhere to use has been tried. (I've not taken the bandage off my wound and don't intend to until I go to get it repacked and redressed) we even ended up having an argument, him saying 'this is ridiculous, I'm just abscess territory, and if I want to use IV, I cannot use a pin in front of him' and he's refusing to help me find anymore veins. Trying to find a vein, is just frustrating. We found a good one that gives on the back of my knee (they usually don't play) but within 3 hours it had decided to give up.
I know and hear what you're saying. Trust me, the end is here. I'm tapering, and stopping. And, most importantly, I'm going to start LIVING :D
Thank you for your care and concern, I know it's coming from the right place.
cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
I took my bandage off for the first time this morning, as it slipped in my sleep. It's an inch deep, and I can see things I never wanted to see in my own arm. The picture just looks like a red mess, but there's white bits visible, tendons, little pockets. The packing had come out, and was rubbing against the wound every time I moved, causing the pain to double. So, my boyfriend had to repack it for me, as I couldn't find medical place open other than A&E and I've had enough of that place this week.
It was double that size when it was full of puss right out to the edges you can see to where the white skin begins, half the size of a golf ball. I got a shock, if i'd left it, it would have continued to EAT MY ARM!
Packed with Micropore absorbing stuff to soak up all the infection. I've now got a lovely clean bandage on it that can't slip.
I still used yesterday, how many more wake up's is it going to take!
Three months to heal apparently. I just wish my boyfriend would stop being a lazy sod, and do more to help me when it comes to changing bed covers to keep the place sterile, doing the washing so it won't build up, dusting, hoovering, basically preventing us from living in a hovel. All things he said HE'D do so I could rest, but I can't stand the 'I'll do it, just not right now' which means never, mentality of boys. I'm exhausted with the pain, but I'll STILL do it as I can't sit in mess. Moan moan moan, gimme some heroin. Two hours to wait yet.
It was double that size when it was full of puss right out to the edges you can see to where the white skin begins, half the size of a golf ball. I got a shock, if i'd left it, it would have continued to EAT MY ARM!
Packed with Micropore absorbing stuff to soak up all the infection. I've now got a lovely clean bandage on it that can't slip.
I still used yesterday, how many more wake up's is it going to take!
Three months to heal apparently. I just wish my boyfriend would stop being a lazy sod, and do more to help me when it comes to changing bed covers to keep the place sterile, doing the washing so it won't build up, dusting, hoovering, basically preventing us from living in a hovel. All things he said HE'D do so I could rest, but I can't stand the 'I'll do it, just not right now' which means never, mentality of boys. I'm exhausted with the pain, but I'll STILL do it as I can't sit in mess. Moan moan moan, gimme some heroin. Two hours to wait yet.
Pagey
Bluelight Crew
Thinking of using again, starting to find it difficult to give life a meaning without it.
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