Being an introvert

[warpaint]

since high school ive found that i don't fit in with people most of the time. ive always been an introvert however at this point in my life, shyness isn't really a problem and i'm not as insecure about it. despite having grown out of shyness i dont find myself wanting to be more talkative or be more social. however i will participate in small talk in appropriate situations, but other than that, i just try to be a kind person and hope that no one perceives me as anti-social, as if i have something against them. because sometimes at work, at most jobs ive had, i tend to be the quieter one. i wouldnt be able to fit in or feel like i related to my coworkers even if i tried. sometimes it gets to me that i don't really click with a lot of people as easily as others do. and i can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with me? i find talking kind of unnecessary in many situations, but people tend to find it weird how i don't talk much, how i'm not trying to fill up the silence.

 

[spork]

There's nothing wrong with you! I'm very much an introvert myself and have felt the same way as you. People might think that you're quiet, but they probably don't go much beyond that. A lot of the thoughts of other people thinking you're weird are just worries that you have and may not necessarily be true. Even if people do think you're weird, at least you stand out. I'd rather be considered weird than normal any day.

Be true and be you. The people that matter will love you for it.

 

[thedawn]

like Spork said,you're good.nothing wrong.
I have felt anti social my whole life,but having a kid helped.
now I only socialize with my kid.
it's much better.

 

[mrflowers00]

no there's definitely nothing wrong with you some people just don't talk much i'm one of them there aren't many people who i talk much to

 

[onetwonine]

Sounds like you're shy.

What do you think shyness is? In my opinion people "who find talking unnecessary in most situations" are shy.

Talking more brings a massive number of benefits. Accept your fear of talking, look at it as "necessary" for having certain things and just try facing it by talking more.

Be funny, stop being awkward and start winning at life. Fuck year.

 

[onetwonine]

There's nothing wrong with you! I'm very much an introvert myself and have felt the same way as you. People might think that you're quiet, but they probably don't go much beyond that. A lot of the thoughts of other people thinking you're weird are just worries that you have and may not necessarily be true. Even if people do think you're weird, at least you stand out. I'd rather be considered weird than normal any day.

Be true and be you. The people that matter will love you for it.

>I'd rather be considered weird than normal anyway.

OP pay attention to who is telling you this.

<snip>

There is NO benefit to being perceived as weird unless you can market it (which requires social prowess). There IS benefit to being unique but still social. That requires not totally standing out as a fuckwad.

Do what you need to be more social, start out limiting conversation to just attractive girls if that helps. Or whatever works for you.

We're a social creature. Good things come to people that are well liked for the most part.

Think of it this way. If it didn't bother you, you wouldn't have made this thread.

<snip>

 

[T. Calderone]

>I'd rather be considered weird than normal anyway.

OP pay attention to who is telling you this.

<snip>

There is NO benefit to being perceived as weird unless you can market it (which requires social prowess). There IS benefit to being unique but still social. That requires not totally standing out as a fuckwad.

Do what you need to be more social, start out limiting conversation to just attractive girls if that helps. Or whatever works for you.

We're a social creature. Good things come to people that are well liked for the most part.

Think of it this way. If it didn't bother you, you wouldn't have made this thread.
<snip>

I take offense to this post. Not everyone is meant to be a chatterbox and becoming more talkative is not automatically going to make people like you. Being a quiet person does not make you a weird person. I've known people who talk too much and some of them were downright annoying. Plus you don't know Spork and calling him/her "the saddest motherfucker on the planet" is insulting.

 

[onetwonine]

I take offense to this post. Not everyone is meant to be a chatterbox and becoming more talkative is not automatically going to make people like you. Being a quiet person does not make you a weird person. I've known people who talk too much and some of them were downright annoying. Plus you don't know Spork and calling him/her "the saddest motherfucker on the planet" is insulting.

No not everyone is meant to be a chatterbox. I also never said to be a chatterbox per se, just engaging.

Being talkative won't automatically make people like you that's true. Not talking at will make people ignore you and/or dislike you. Especially if you are an awkward fuck that doesn't engage in conversation when others try to engage you.

You were annoyed by people who talk too much? Why? Jealous they can do something you can't lel? I don't understand, you need explain your point.

If it's just to say that people exist that can talk enough to be annoying, i agree they absolutely exist. I just dont understand the relevance to this dudes thread. He's obviously distressed about not talking enough, he's safe.

Also you're right saying not talking doesn't make you weird. But again I never said that. The mod brought up being weird and preferring it to being normal, I addressed it.

Yeah i dont know what that dudes life story is.
<snip>

There's nothing WRONG with with being weird, but it's NOT better than being considered normal. That's just reality, you'll get treated worse and lose out across the board.

 

[warpaint]

Sounds like you're shy.

What do you think shyness is? In my opinion people "who find talking unnecessary in most situations" are shy.

Talking more brings a massive number of benefits. Accept your fear of talking, look at it as "necessary" for having certain things and just try facing it by talking more.

Be funny, stop being awkward and start winning at life. Fuck year.

i don't really think it's shyness. i just feel like i can't relate to most people i encounter on a daily basis, or people i'm acquainted with through work or friends of friends. and i think it has to do with most of these people being more extroverted than me, people who share similar interests when it comes to social activities like going to bars/clubs. i dont have any interest in places like that because i can't drink or like the taste of alcohol (which is another thing most people do and something that seems to be the foundation of many stories that they recall in conversations), i dont care for dancing, etc. none of that stuff is me, i don't have a super interesting life which i'm fine with, so unless if i want to be pretentious there isn't much to say. i find that if people arent talking about stuff i cant relate to, they're gossiping about anyone that's not present in that time and moment... and it's just all so vapid...

 

[onetwonine]

i don't really think it's shyness. i just feel like i can't relate to most people i encounter on a daily basis, or people i'm acquainted with through work or friends of friends. and i think it has to do with most of these people being more extroverted than me, people who share similar interests when it comes to social activities like going to bars/clubs. i dont have any interest in places like that because i can't drink or like the taste of alcohol (which is another thing most people do and something that seems to be the foundation of many stories that they recall in conversations), i dont care for dancing, etc. none of that stuff is me, i don't have a super interesting life which i'm fine with, so unless if i want to be pretentious there isn't much to say. i find that if people arent talking about stuff i cant relate to, they're gossiping about anyone that's not present in that time and moment... and it's just all so vapid...

Find people you can relate to. If you can't do that, make an effort to relate to them.

Or live with being a loner.

Those "vapid" conversations are what you're going to get in casual conversation. Make your peace with that. If you want deeper conversation get involved and turn the subject to what you want to. That's just how humans communicate, nobody starts with deep interesting convo from the jump.

To me the only reason anyone would create a thread like this is if they are confused or unhappy with their social abilities
That theres nothing to lose being "introverted".

You've come to the right place for that.

Friendly, kind, happy people from around the world will be here to offer you their support.

I don't believe any of you.

I think every one except for the odd sociopath (no that's not you) wishes they were more socially capable.

You're going to get plenty of people telling you you aren't missing out being an "introvert", but how would they know? I'm telling you you're missing out on much of what makes life fun. A whole lot of pussy, money, and fun. The Internet is an awful substitute, and I feel like shit for spending so much time on it lately.

Look i lucked out and win the genetic lottery, it's a lot easier putting yourself out there being me, but I'm trying to tell you it's not that hard you may just have to put forward a bit more effort.

At least do yourself a favor and give it a shot. A real, good shot, don't get discouraged by failures or hung up on perceived inadequacies. If it's still not your thing, fine.

 

[CoffeeDrinker]

>I'd rather be considered weird than normal anyway.

OP pay attention to who is telling you this.

The MOD on the dark side of a board dedicated to drug use. So.. Essentially the saddest motherfucker on the planet
Is giving you life advice. Hopefully you took it with a massive grain of salt.

There is NO benefit to being perceived as weird unless you can market it (which requires social prowess). There IS benefit to being unique but still social. That requires not totally standing out as a fuckwad.

Do what you need to be more social, start out limiting conversation to just attractive girls if that helps. Or whatever works for you.

We're a social creature. Good things come to people that are well liked for the most part.

Think of it this way. If it didn't bother you, you wouldn't have made this thread. Obviously you're going to find a bunch of social outcasts on here to try make you feel like it's no big deal. They do it to make themselves feel better more than anything.

You need to grow up, chill out, and stop thinking about "being" something that you're not just for the sake of what's beneficial. I think your post and the OP's original post are sort of on two opposite sides of the spectrum of typical addict mind sets. On one hand you have a person who feels totally unable to connect to his peers, most likely because he hides a large part of himself from the world on a daily basis anyway. This gives you less to talk about in general. The more you become comfortable with you who are as a whole, the less this becomes a problem. You go from being weird and awkward for not talking to being cool and sharp for not having conversations you know are pointless to begin with. It all depends on your self image.

On the other hand, we have this lovely specimen of a confident, young, fucked-in-the-head, person who thinks that "fake it till you make it" is such a good and healthy creed to live by that you should analyze every behavior you have and alter it to fit in with the fattest part of the bell curve. Your reasoning seems like it's founded on a whirlwind of hormones and imagined generalizations all geared towards teh poon. Like the OP, still unable to make real connections, but a series of relationships of sheer convenience could potentially be far more destructive for you once you take the time to realize every person you "turned it on" for was a fucking waste of time because when it came time for you to be real, they never met the real you before...whoever he is.

 

[Tude]

I take offense to this post. Not everyone is meant to be a chatterbox and becoming more talkative is not automatically going to make people like you. Being a quiet person does not make you a weird person. I've known people who talk too much and some of them were downright annoying. Plus you don't know Spork and calling him/her "the saddest motherfucker on the planet" is insulting.

Exactly! Saying that is like saying a doctor is the unhealthiest mother fucker on the planet because he works in a hospital.

OP, don't worry about being introverted. There's all kinds of people in the world. If everyone were extroverted, it would be deafening! Lol

 

[buffalobillygoat]

Hey, op, ignore all the arguing. There have been many very accessible books published on this recently. Here's one. http://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153

It's difficult to give you advice based on your short post, but I'd instinctually say - don't try to please everybody, it never gets you anywhere.

Good lcuk.

i don't really think it's shyness. i just feel like i can't relate to most people i encounter on a daily basis, or people i'm acquainted with through work or friends of friends. and i think it has to do with most of these people being more extroverted than me, people who share similar interests when it comes to social activities like going to bars/clubs. i dont have any interest in places like that because i can't drink or like the taste of alcohol (which is another thing most people do and something that seems to be the foundation of many stories that they recall in conversations), i dont care for dancing, etc. none of that stuff is me, i don't have a super interesting life which i'm fine with, so unless if i want to be pretentious there isn't much to say.

Dude - you don't have a problem. You know what you like, and going out getting pissed in bars you can't hear yourself think isn't one of those. I only ever go out on the town if it's the old crew and we each have each other's backs in every possible way. There is nothing wrong with staying in studyin, whittling whatever! Besides, nobody out clubbing would want you to be there if you weren't ejoying yourself.

 

[spork]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but TDS is a safe place free of judgment. Insults and name calling will not be tolerated. If you feel the need to insult others here, please disengage yourself from the forum. Thank you.

 

[warpaint]

Hey, op, ignore all the arguing. There have been many very accessible books published on this recently. Here's one. http://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153

It's difficult to give you advice based on your short post, but I'd instinctually say - don't try to please everybody, it never gets you anywhere.

Good lcuk.




Dude - you don't have a problem. You know what you like, and going out getting pissed in bars you can't hear yourself think isn't one of those. I only ever go out on the town if it's the old crew and we each have each other's backs in every possible way. There is nothing wrong with staying in studyin, whittling whatever! Besides, nobody out clubbing would want you to be there if you weren't ejoying yourself.

thanks for the book! ive actually been meaning to get that book but forgot the title.


btw everyone i'm a girl :D

 

[onetwonine]

You need to grow up, chill out, and stop thinking about "being" something that you're not just for the sake of what's beneficial. I think your post and the OP's original post are sort of on two opposite sides of the spectrum of typical addict mind sets. On one hand you have a person who feels totally unable to connect to his peers, most likely because he hides a large part of himself from the world on a daily basis anyway. This gives you less to talk about in general. The more you become comfortable with you who are as a whole, the less this becomes a problem. You go from being weird and awkward for not talking to being cool and sharp for not having conversations you know are pointless to begin with. It all depends on your self image.

On the other hand, we have this lovely specimen of a confident, young, fucked-in-the-head, person who thinks that "fake it till you make it" is such a good and healthy creed to live by that you should analyze every behavior you have and alter it to fit in with the fattest part of the bell curve. Your reasoning seems like it's founded on a whirlwind of hormones and imagined generalizations all geared towards teh poon. Like the OP, still unable to make real connections, but a series of relationships of sheer convenience could potentially be far more destructive for you once you take the time to realize every person you "turned it on" for was a fucking waste of time because when it came time for you to be real, they never met the real you before...whoever he is.

I'm chill and grown.

I'm not telling dude to fake anything but make a real organic effort. I think that labels like introvert and extrovert are bull and nobody is limited to whatever each label entails.

I'm telling the dude to make an effort to talk more and be more engaging because it will work well for him.

I'm not putting on for anybody or faking anything, I have always been social except at the very worst period of my heroin addiction.

Being social for this dude will just make life more enjoyable.

Also yea, getting money and fucking fat booty is of utmost importance for me personally. Being social helps with getting both. Of this not your thing, fine. There are plenty more benefits, anything you want from people requires communicating with them well.

 

[onetwonine]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but TDS is a safe place free of judgment. Insults and name calling will not be tolerated. If you feel the need to insult others here, please disengage yourself from the forum. Thank you.

Don't think i was insulting anyone, if you chose to take it that way nothing I can do.

All I'm saying is that this is TDS. Everybody here is here for some morbid reason ,<snip>.
<snip>
Much better places to ask for OP.

For those that are curious I just happened upon this thread when iwas bored and browsing.

The last time I actually was HERE i was in the depths of a dope addiction and not in any position to be advising anybody.