Rolled MDMA for first time one month ago - What the fuck have i done to my brain?

[HeyYo]

Hey guys,

first of all excuse my bad english, since im not a native speaker.

About one month ago i was on a festival and used MDMA for the first time in my life. I havent done any chemical drugs before and also didnt smoke much weed either. So this night i've chosen to give it a try and i never thought it would fuck up my life this badly... We started with about 75mg with three friends of mine and danced for about an hour or two. After that we've taken another 75mg and had great fun talking about shit and walking around on the festival until morning. After we got tired we went to our tents and laid to sleep. About three or four hours later i woken up and felt destroyed... I drank a beer and tried eating something and gone sleeping again for another two hours. In this two hours it got very hot in my tent and a friend of mine woke me up and pulled me out of my tent because i was all wet from sweating. So anyway, this whole day and the following on the festival were terrible.

I felt like shit but thought that it is the normal MDMA comedown and will go away as soon as i arrive at home. But when i arrived at home nothing really changed... In the first two weeks i still felt like im dying on the inside. I can not feel any joy in doing the things i used to have fun with. I think im in a great depression and also i feel like i've kinda got dumb, since i have problems with concentrating, reading, writing and talking. I just cannot believe, that i fucked up my life with just trying MDMA for the first time in my life. I tried curing myself with St. Johns Wort but that didnt help and so i ordered HTP-5 (500mg per capsule) and took it for 3 days but stopped it for now, since it didnt help me either.

So here i am sitting in my room and writing to you, because i just dont know what to do anymore... Im a student in university and 24 years old, but i just dont know how i can continue studying in this mental state. My holidays will end at 15. Oct. and i will have to return to my university but for now i cannot imagine to study.

edit: i also fear that sleeping in my tent while it was very hot may have caused brain damage or a stroke by not supplying my brain with enough oxygen...

 

[floatingaround]

Firstly if you got a comedown from eating 'MDMA' then I'm guessing that's not all you ate, as pure MDMA does not give you a comedown.

Are there any mental illness history's in your family?

I'm no dr but their probably the ones who can help you here. I've not personally heard or read of anyone going through this on MDMA, but I have from speed and LSD. Some people's brains just go loopy for a short time after using, and considering this is the first real drug you've tried apart from a bit of weed I could see this being the case.

If it were me I'd probably give in another few days and eat healthy and exercise, then if nothing had improved i would be going to a dr(who I would assume would refer you to a psych).

As for a stroke or lack of oxygen from sleeping in the tent, I doubt you have caused brain damage this way. If your seriously worried though, go to a Dr.

 

[tripnotyzm]

There is a condition called 'Serotonin Syndrome' which can be brought on by excessive amounts of drug use/mis-use & combinations.
Given the amount of MDMA you took, I would highly doubt that you are suffering from this condition, but it is still something worth researching.
I am not quite sure what you could be suffering from, but it is always a smart idea to consult an actual doctor if you are still feeling this way.
Perhaps you are suffering from some heat related illness..?
In the past i have experienced a violent illness for around 2 weeks after spending too much time in the sun one weekend.


Go see a doctor

 

[HeyYo]

Hi floatingaround,

we only did MDMA and some beers. No other drug involved. As for mental ilnesses in my family history i was told that my grandfather was shizophrenic and my father suffered from depression.
I think ill try to wait for another few days but then go to a Doc if things wont get better... But are you really sure, that these symptoms can not be caused by a MDMA-Comedown?
Maybe i exaggerated a bit in describing my symptoms. I actually still can read, write and talk to people but im feeling anxious while talking to people... I think my main issue is the fact, that i cannot feel joy in doing things that were fun before i rolled MDMA.

 

[Maya]

Hi HeyYo, floating around is right, the mdma amount you took should not have given you that kind of effect. I am guessing that the substance you consumed is not pure mdma. Did any of your friends have the same come down as you? This is the thing with not testing the product as there are a lot of mdma being passed around that are concocted with something else. I am actually in the middle of a comedown as well but I am a lot better compared to months back. I had been exercising, good diet etc. If you are going to try SSRI be sure to research them first including side effects etc and of course speak with your doctor. I have chosen to not go with the SSRI as I do not want to be dependent on them. Just always remember that whatever you feel right now should go away in time as soon as the brain has reached it's balanced state. Just continue with living a healthy lifestyle and if you decide to take mdma (which I hope you don't), please test your product by buying a test kit.

 

[HeyYo]

Hi HeyYo, floating around is right, the mdma amount you took should not have given you that kind of effect. I am guessing that the substance you consumed is not pure mdma. Did any of your friends have the same come down as you? This is the thing with not testing the product as there are a lot of mdma being passed around that are concocted with something else. I am actually in the middle of a comedown as well but I am a lot better compared to months back. I had been exercising, good diet etc. If you are going to try SSRI be sure to research them first including side effects etc and of course speak with your doctor. I have chosen to not go with the SSRI as I do not want to be dependent on them. Just always remember that whatever you feel right now should go away in time as soon as the brain has reached it's balanced state. Just continue with living a healthy lifestyle and if you decide to take mdma (which I hope you don't), please test your product by buying a test kit.

Hi,

as i said maybe i exaggerated a little bit with my symptoms. I actually am able to read, write and talk to people, since im currently working 2-3 days a week as a holiday job. None of my friends is experiencing this kind of comedown, but i also have to add, that i was in a kind of depressed state before taking the mdma. Not a serious depression though, but anyway i wasnt too happy. None of my friends noticed a difference in my personality or my behaviour until i talked to them about my problems. I really dont know if i should just wait until this fades away or talk to a doctor and try the SSRI-way.

 

[floatingaround]

Wait it out bro. I have the feeling if you mention anything about what your experiencing after using illegal stimulants they'll be quick to put you on medications(which may not even be needed in the first place). The mind has an amazing power to heal itself, even after long periods of drug abuse.

 

[HeyYo]

Well in my case it wasnt even a long period of drug abuse :/... But what could be the problem if they will put me on SSRI's? I mean im not willing to take any Benzos or shit like that. I believe in the power of my mind to heal itself and to find its homoestasis but dont you think that SSRIs could speed up the process of recovery?

 

[Ozekat]

You've got to be honest with yourself first and foremost and since you overexaggerated already to us I question what you are really after here. Don't get me the wrong way I want you to feel straight and fine and back to normal but its like with each post you are revealing more of the story to yourself.

Have you had a chance to talk IN PERSON with a close friend? This may do wonders for you............I have heard of some people taking MDMA and because it makes one feel so good and what not that they cannot adjust back to baseline reality (this has never been a problem for me because I am always super aware of the fact I am intoxicated while I am) so maybe that is something you are going through???

I still would have to agree with other posters that you probably had some ecstasy laced/cut with something else that is messin with your head. Man, especially thesedays there are so many bunk drugs and RC's floating around out there its pitiful.....

But, regardless good luck to you I can see you getting over this with or without a doctor.....you seem to be making more coherent sense of your experience with each post.

Do you feel better or worse than when you first made this thread?

 

[HeyYo]

You've got to be honest with yourself first and foremost and since you overexaggerated already to us I question what you are really after here. Don't get me the wrong way I want you to feel straight and fine and back to normal but its like with each post you are revealing more of the story to yourself.

Have you had a chance to talk IN PERSON with a close friend? This may do wonders for you............I have heard of some people taking MDMA and because it makes one feel so good and what not that they cannot adjust back to baseline reality (this has never been a problem for me because I am always super aware of the fact I am intoxicated while I am) so maybe that is something you are going through???

I still would have to agree with other posters that you probably had some ecstasy laced/cut with something else that is messin with your head. Man, especially thesedays there are so many bunk drugs and RC's floating around out there its pitiful.....

But, regardless good luck to you I can see you getting over this with or without a doctor.....you seem to be making more coherent sense of your experience with each post.

Do you feel better or worse than when you first made this thread?

Im after the solution for my problems ... I think that i still feel the same today. I went to work and everything was fine but im just sad and anxious all the time. I think i really need to see a doctor. Does nobody else ever suffered from the same symtoms after MDMA use? If you did, please answer or PM me ...

 

[thedawn]

you might have had latent(there already)form of depression.
I would see a doc.