Kinda weirded out..

[Mister Chef]

I've been wanting to talk about this stuff for awhile now. I just want to get this off my chest.

So I recently acquired some mushrooms but I'm a bit nervous about having another psychedelic experience. I typically trip alone because everyone I know is too afraid of psychedelics. I've had experience with Acid twice (first drug I ever did). Not sure the dosage but had a great time both times. Guessing around 100ug for the first and around 50-60ug for the second (which was actually disappointing). I've also done 25i NBOMe about 20 or so times. I honestly kinda abused the use of 25i as I tripped about once a week for about 2-3 months (I started slowing down with how frequently I tripped later), though I no longer wish to do 25i ever again. My dosages for the 25i started out as 1.2mg for awhile, got upped to about 1.8mg for awhile, and got lowered to 600ug because I started hating the body load and overall unhealthy feeling with 25i (and sometimes tripping really heavily, at least on 25i, kind of creeped me out for some reason...part of it was while listening to music, certain instruments in a song would often drop flat, out of key, which sounded so creepy but awesome. I'd also have this quiet, extremely bizarre high pitch sound enter my ears when tripping heavily, that I described while tripping as "creepy classical music").

The last few trips, I almost just felt like I was laying there having a heart attack (especially for the hour or so right after I'd smoke a bowl) because 25i is way too physically stimulating (I got good at keeping myself calm through it though). I realized that there can be only so much physical pleasure before you have to leave your body to continue on in pleasure (which doesn't really make sense, as the physical drug wouldn't still be in you if your body was dead, lol). I almost felt like something or someone was trying to get me to "continue on in pleasure" out of my body. I didn't "go" because I knew the 25i wouldn't still be in me if my body was dead.

But then something really weird happened (well actually I don't quite remember if it was the same trip, or the trip after but it doesn't matter much): last time I tripped on 600ug of 25i, I was having a pretty typical, decent trip until around 3/4th into it. I had taken a few Etizolam (which I know can cause amnesia) to help with anxiety and the heart attack-like symptoms. It happened when I smoked a bowl for the 2nd time (I think it was the 2nd) of this trip. I was just sitting around listening to music and thinking about stuff when I suddenly got this idea that my life is so great and perfect, and I didn't need to do drugs anymore (not that I started to do them to cope with any negativity). I got this urge to run around and announce to everyone in town that "everything's great and I don't need to do drugs anymore" (lmao). Then it hit me that I couldn't trust my judgement right now so I stuck a note on my door telling me that I'm still tripping and not to leave. It was around then that I suddenly got the weirdest mindfuck of my life. I kept suddenly kept forgetting things that had JUST HAPPENED or that I'd JUST thought of and I was aware of the EXACT moment I'd forget. It was a very strange feeling. I literally couldn't help but speak all of my thoughts out loud (no other people were around). It's like I couldn't keep my thoughts in my mind. I started reading everything in rhythms and song (kind of like Catatonic Schizophrenia), but that part I thought was actually cool. I started telling myself out loud (as I couldn't really keep my thoughts in my head) that I shouldn't do 25i anymore, as it's bad for my brain. About 15 seconds later I suddenly thought it was God talking through me, telling me not to do the 25i (which may or may not have been true, I do believe in God, but I don't think it was Him at that point). Nothing like any of that has ever happened to me before, even when I've tripped really heavily, and it's made me nervous about doing psychedelics again.

Also (this one should be a bit humorous to you), there was this one trip I had (a different trip, awhile before this last one) where I'd had this vision of a sun with an odd looking smiley face and I heard this voice (in the vision, not audibly) calling my name in a really high, falsetto voice. It was the same voice my dad would sometimes talk to me when I was really little. I was sobbing the entire vision, and I wasn't and still am not sure if the crying was happy or sad crying (the "happy or sad?" crying thing has happened on a few other trips as well). But almost every time I think about or remember that vision, I start crying again (though I manage to stop it), even as I was writing this. I really hope I didn't emotionally fuck myself up or something.

I actually feel a little better just posting this, lol. As I said, I really want to do the shrooms/continue with psychedelics, but I don't like that amnesia-mindfuck thing that happened; and it was only on 600ug of 25i (and a bowl of weed).

I don't mean to sound like my life has become worse since starting psychedelics. I've become alot more sanguine and tend to be in a good mood all the time now, rather than melancholy all the time, which I'm happy about. I've also realized how beautiful and perfect life itself is; something I always took for granted. There's alot more personal stuff too that I won't get into.

Any similar experiences/suggestions/comments?

 

[Redbong]

I've been using psychedelics for 15 years now, and your experiences seem pretty typical for someone "tripping out". When I was a teen, first experimenting with acid, I found it was very easy to lose my train of thought or forget what I was doing. Plenty of "what were we talking about?" moments. I used to say, "my idea is running away, and it's flipping me off!"

Auditory hallucinations are normal. Such as hearing music or sounds that are not there. Or hearing things differently. I like to try to play my bass guitar along with the music in my head. Though once I start playing, I lose it. Played some cool stuff though.... at least it sounded that way at the time....

The voice in your head is most likely you, not God. You know what's best for you. And drugs are bad for you. I credit the mighty magic mushroom for showing me what my cocaine and pill abuse was doing to me. I stopped both right then. It just took observing my life through a different perspective for me to see how foolish I was acting.

As for hearing your dad's voice, psychedelics can take you through past memories. It may not make sense how they are remembered, through sound or internal visions, maybe a smell. But you're taken to a part of your mind that hasn't been accessed in a very long time. Childhood memories are normal. As for the crying during your vision, I find myself crying from the beauty or intensity of a vision. Maybe from some symbolic meaning of the vision, which may not make sense at the time. Or only make sense at that time.

I'm not sure if all that makes sense. Just some of my experiences. I still use, probably too many, psychedelic drugs. I find them to be a great tool in finding our way through life. I definitely recommend taking extended breaks from use of psychedelics from time to time. Helps with reintegration. Anyways, be safe and have fun!

 

[Mister Chef]

"my idea is running away, and it's flipping me off!"

lmao!

Thanks for the response. Yeah, I actually LOVE the auditory hallucinations in music. But sometimes they can be just so creepy (in an awesome way lol).
I think I'll only trip maybe like once or twice a month from now on. I actually kinda feel bad for my body for how often I put RC's into it, lol.
It's just so strange how that mindfuck thing suddenly happened for the first time out of nowhere, lol. It really caught me off guard. Especially since 25i is supposed to be (and almost always is) a clear-headed trip.

 

[ComfortablyNumb95]

I like to try to play my bass guitar along with the music in my head. Though once I start playing, I lose it. Played some cool stuff though.... at least it sounded that way at the time....

ahah this! when I'm high I always play in my head some kick-ass tune (be it some death metal or electronic music) but unfortunately a few minutes later I forget what I was playing.. sooo sad
I wish I could remember it coz sometimes I would "invent" some really cool stuff!

 

[Redbong]

lI actually kinda feel bad for my body for how often I put RC's into it, lol.
It's just so strange how that mindfuck thing suddenly happened for the first time out of nowhere, lol. It really caught me off guard. Especially since 25i is supposed to be (and almost always is) a clear-headed trip.

Not all RCs are terrible for your body, though I agree the nbome class probably is. Neither 25i or 25c ever felt safe to me. Plus the possibility of over dose leading to coma/death is very real on the nbomes. The psilocin analogues always felt very safe to me. As with mushrooms, they can't really hurt you physically. Though they could probably cause lasting psychological damage, if taken too far.

I think your 25i mindfuck may be more do to set and setting than 25i itself. If your head wasn't in a good place to be bathed in psychedelics, it could manifest as anxiousness and amnesia. The brain is very good at blocking out things it doesn't want to hold onto. And remember, no 2 trips are the same. Same drug, same dose, same setting, but still a different trip.

 

[kidklmx]

IME, 25i can get pretty mind-fuckery. Thought loops are not that uncommon, and if it's the right place/time then my mind can wander off on some pretty wild tangents.

 

[.:Holy::Toast:.]

The thought loops on 25c were horrendous for me.
But they only occurred after I blazed.
It was hoooorrible, sitting there for hours babbling nonsense about linear vs non linear thought patterns, concluding with some bullshit about thoughts and life being an infinite loop, then having that all dismantle just to start again from the beginning.
My friends thought I was going insane

 

[kidklmx]

I think I know what kind of state you entered, a friend of mine got pretty weird on 25c as well. Really starting to wonder if this is exclusive to NBOMes because it's quite unlike the bad reactions people have on regular psychs.

 

[GreenMachine]

i would not worry too much about all of that, doesnt sound that strange to me compared to the whacked out shit a lot of people do when they are spun out. if i had to guess i would say you are pretty young, it might benefit you to trip with some other people honestly. tripping alone can be cool, and very rewarding sometimes but nothing beats taking someone else along on that adventure. having someone else around can ground you a bit--you know arent the ONLY one losing your mind!

to be honest i am not the biggest fan of 25i--its pretty much exactly like 2C-I in my experience and neither were anything to write home about. they can have a bit of a body load for some people, but i never get the phenelythylamine body load that bad that most people complain about. also maybe you should try to trip one time without smoking weed? judging by what you wrote it seems like the anxiety sets in every time after you smoke. maybe next time at least wait until you come down, weed can be the best landing gear.

what i always tell people is if you have been tripping, and you suddenly feel like you dont want to trip nearly as much as you did before, or the idea makes you more uncomfortable now, that is your brain telling you that you need a break. you are better off quitting while you are ahead than going full-throttle until the trail goes off the rails. however if you wait and you start feeling the desire to get psychedelic and you are pumped up to trip again, then go for it! my advice is to find someone else to trip with, it can be SO much more rewarding having that kind of experience with someone else. of course make sure its someone you trust and are comfortable with. next time maybe wait til after the peak to start smoking weed, i bet you will be less anxious.

and if you feel like you dont want to trip on 25i anymore than dont! there are plenty of psychedelics out there. i tend to stick with the classics--cant go wrong with good ol LSD or mushrooms.

 

[GreenMachine]

The thought loops on 25c were horrendous for me.
But they only occurred after I blazed.
It was hoooorrible, sitting there for hours babbling nonsense about linear vs non linear thought patterns, concluding with some bullshit about thoughts and life being an infinite loop, then having that all dismantle just to start again from the beginning.
My friends thought I was going insane

thought loops DEFINITELY happen on other psychedelics just as much if not more IME. i found 25i to be less of a mindfuck than something like LSD or 2C-E honestly. i have very limited experience with it but the most insane thought loops i have ever had were on an intense DXM trip. if you can call it a trip. fuck that shit, not very enjoyable, just weird, zonked out, stomach-turning horribleness. cant even compare to good, clean L.

but in terms of people freaking out and getting "weird", i really dont think that is exclusive to any particular psychedelic. honestly i think acid has more of a tendency to launch spunions into the outer weirdosphere more, but maybe i am just around people on LSD more than RCs

 

[.:Holy::Toast:.]

I found the NBOMe's to be the most clear headed psyche I've done until I smoked weed, that's when the thought loops kicked in, I've never had that with other psyches, even from mad blazing on 25mg of 2ce