Background: First experience in 2001 I was 14. Got in with the vets (if you will) and had an amazing 5 years. K, G, cocaine, pills, lsd, nos, shit the best experiences with everything. I mean never did I ever feel a sense of loss of magic. I always felt great and had a blast.
I truly am grateful that I came up in an environment with friends and family I trusted. Though I was entirely too young to be in the scene I learned lifelong empathy, open-mindedness, love, and even integrity. Seriously..
I stopped, grew up partied here and there a few times a year on whatever I was in the mood for. MDMA/Beans/Pills/Ex whatever you want to call it, was my forte. I always had a blast going back to it whenever possible.
Last time I actually had a pill in my possession and rolled was in 2008. Fabulous, I was on my way to Philly hit up my bests and just whip its all night. Great!
Didn't see again until this year, New Years Eve 2013.
.2 some of the cleanest "moll" around and was blasted hit another .2 later on and came up smoothly again, peaked all night, and coasted smoothly down at 5 am! Again, great times! Great people. No hangover the next day.
Buttt.. I noticed there was no real energy inside or out. I wasn't compelled to say sweet things or even do sweet things. No tricks were given by me. I even felt annoyed at times which was strange.
Been thinking about it since January and got some last and this weekend.
Last weekend= garbage. Im no chemist, but maybe too much sass? I don't know felt like I ate a ton of meth. Gross up and down. Yuk the next day.
This weekend one of my boys came through, old school friend. Had the cleanest shit I have seen.
Hit my first round, came up nicely and was feeling good then EVERYTHING CHANGED.
I had two friends over, my man, and my sister. Everyone was faced and going back for more. I was ready to be sober.
I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS EVER!
I declined my other.3 and came all the way down. I felt bored of the high (though on a scale of 1-10 I would say it was an 8 and for others maybe even a 9 or 10), annoyed by the music and lights, sleepy, and just over it.
I feel like I have had every good experience in my past. Anything else with md is just a total test of fate. Like, the entire time I was on I was just not with it. I realize too, that NYE was nothing all that special I was just super excited to be around all of my friends.
I enjoy the romancing and nostalgia of the past.
I even like the preparation of the party, but I simply don't like the feeling anymore?
I feel very certain there is no way to recreate the moments from my past, no moments could ever live up to the carefree and reckless times, I just have had the best of the best, and that I am seriously just done with it. Maybe novelty every few years. I would rather the high of an opiate?
Makes me sad but I don't believe it was overuse. Yes we did it a lot. But some of us from that very group still do it just as frequently and love it the same?
I think she has officially lost all of her magic!
I think losing the magic is real. I think it may even be a necessary evil?
I truly am grateful that I came up in an environment with friends and family I trusted. Though I was entirely too young to be in the scene I learned lifelong empathy, open-mindedness, love, and even integrity. Seriously..
I stopped, grew up partied here and there a few times a year on whatever I was in the mood for. MDMA/Beans/Pills/Ex whatever you want to call it, was my forte. I always had a blast going back to it whenever possible.
Last time I actually had a pill in my possession and rolled was in 2008. Fabulous, I was on my way to Philly hit up my bests and just whip its all night. Great!
Didn't see again until this year, New Years Eve 2013.
.2 some of the cleanest "moll" around and was blasted hit another .2 later on and came up smoothly again, peaked all night, and coasted smoothly down at 5 am! Again, great times! Great people. No hangover the next day.
Buttt.. I noticed there was no real energy inside or out. I wasn't compelled to say sweet things or even do sweet things. No tricks were given by me. I even felt annoyed at times which was strange.
Been thinking about it since January and got some last and this weekend.
Last weekend= garbage. Im no chemist, but maybe too much sass? I don't know felt like I ate a ton of meth. Gross up and down. Yuk the next day.
This weekend one of my boys came through, old school friend. Had the cleanest shit I have seen.
Hit my first round, came up nicely and was feeling good then EVERYTHING CHANGED.
I had two friends over, my man, and my sister. Everyone was faced and going back for more. I was ready to be sober.
I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS EVER!
I declined my other.3 and came all the way down. I felt bored of the high (though on a scale of 1-10 I would say it was an 8 and for others maybe even a 9 or 10), annoyed by the music and lights, sleepy, and just over it.
I feel like I have had every good experience in my past. Anything else with md is just a total test of fate. Like, the entire time I was on I was just not with it. I realize too, that NYE was nothing all that special I was just super excited to be around all of my friends.
I enjoy the romancing and nostalgia of the past.
I even like the preparation of the party, but I simply don't like the feeling anymore?
I feel very certain there is no way to recreate the moments from my past, no moments could ever live up to the carefree and reckless times, I just have had the best of the best, and that I am seriously just done with it. Maybe novelty every few years. I would rather the high of an opiate?
Makes me sad but I don't believe it was overuse. Yes we did it a lot. But some of us from that very group still do it just as frequently and love it the same?
I think she has officially lost all of her magic!
I think losing the magic is real. I think it may even be a necessary evil?
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